Aug 20, 2010: Kiwi
 

A Kiwi, yes, but not just a Kiwi... a Kiwi on a muthafuckin treadmill.

http://cellar.org/2010/kiwi.jpg

link

Only a New Zealander would test the plane-on-a-treadmill question using a flightless bird.

I've never seen a Kiwi close up before (the bird, not someone from NZ).
I didn't expect all the cute little whiskers!

The personality sounds pretty much like my ex-colleague though.

No propeller, no fly.

Of course there's no fly, Kiwis don't wear pants, silly.

The only Kiwi I ever knew wore pants, but she didn't have a fly either.

That kiwi looks sorta curmudgeonly.

the Curmungeonly Kiwi would be a good name for a children's book.

I love kiwis! My Nan went to NZ when i was little and she brought me back a bunch of kiwi related gifts; including a little silver kiwi pendant. I loved the shape of them. So cute!

She also had loads of photos of wildlife, including kiwis. Too cute for words.

Great title!

Especially as it applies to many of the people too!
Not the Finn brothers of course. Or Margaret Mahy. Or my Aunt.
But most of the others ;)

See how they avoid the Cellar?
Typical.

The reason for his curmudgeonly attitude is that he is sick of being compared to fuzzy fruit and fuzzier humans.

why did he have to strengthen his legs? couldn't they just let him, I dunno . . . walk around?

I wonder if those whiskers serve the same purpose as a cat's?

[i]f you click on the link you'll read his long sad story of a broken leg that had to be rebroken, his release, another broken leg and transfusion.

so sad . . . so lazy ;)

Looks pretty small. We're going to need a couple more to make that kiwi pie.

That's why they're endangered.

When it made the leap from dinosaur to bird, it bounced part way to mammal before it could stop.;)

Well if we'd stop breaking their legs...:eyebrow:

Coming next week to an IOTD near you: Kangaroo on a trampoline

Of course they are endangered. They have been hunted down for decades for their shoe shine glands.

I'm surprised the species isn't extinct:

*Can't burrow a protective underground home

*Can't outrun much of anything that wants to eat it.
(Cellar members excluded) :p:

*Can't fly.

*Can't swim fast, if at all.

*Can't climb trees to get away from predators.

*Nice claws, but most predators can still clean it's clock.

Flightless birds are a risky proposition. Emu, and Ostrich are the only ones I know of that live on land, and have been successful. (Roadrunners can fly a bit - and do nest above ground)

Mebbe it should be reclassified as a wombless mammal?

They can burrow, actually - some species make rather intricate, labyrinth-style burrows, whilst others will make single-entrance burrows... It varies amongst species, but, they are all rather successful burrowers.

They are very strong swimmers, capable of traversing even rather heavy-flowing rivers.

They're very fast, especially for their size - able to fiercely defend a territory 62 acres or more in size, every night.*

* Being as small as they are, and yet, able to maintain such a large territory, is evidence of great tenacity, as well as relative-to-size great speed. I forget how fast they can actually move, but, lacking other defences, the Kiwi uses its SPEED to evade predators... surviving millions of years, prior to the introducing of non-native predators to their habitat, thanks to their speed.

Many animals can't fly. Doesn't stop them living very successful, long lives. (Kiwi live, on average, between 20 - 30 years, and as stated, have existed for millennia, without any threat of extinction, prior to man, anyway.)

Also - They have an incredible sense of smell, to help them know when predators are around, as well as to locate food sources; they can even locate insects, beneath the ground, using nothing but their sense of smell.

Oh, and don't believe what you hear, about them being stupid, or half-blind, either. They have good eye-sight, and are very fast learners.

(Once more - I apologise for not being around... damn surface dwellers keepin' me down... or up, I suppose.)

Until humans turned up, there were no mammals (except a few bats) in New Zealand. No rats, cats, foxes, dogs, human hunters etc etc. There were many ground-dwelling birds that are now in great danger.

As well as the Giant Moa, there seems to have been some kind of enormous Eagle - wing-span 3-4 metres (10-13 feet). Maori legends told of great birds that could carry off human children, and while these were usually dismissed, recent fossil finds suggest such a bird existed.

Kiwis fight other kiwis, too. Put two male kiwis in a box and in a few hours you'll have a dead kiwi.

What happened to the other Kiwi?

I must know.

I may seem heavy-handed, but when I lend money I expect to get it back, okay?

He works for me.

Lulz.

A roadrunner top speed is about 18 mph. (I have chased many of them on foot, in my youth). When pressed by a predator, they can fly, as well.

Kiwi tops at an estimated 13 mph, and can't fly at all.

They defend against other Kiwi birds - not bobcats, foxes, dingos, coyotes, lynxes, ocelots, wolves, eagles, etc., who would easily take them.

If they were as prolific, and could fly just enough to get high enough to escape ground predators pursuing them, like a chicken can, I'd say "they'll do fine".

That is not the case, however. It will be a big struggle for them to stay alive, in the wild as new predators move into their habitat. imo

If it's gonna be a mammal, don't it have to have tits?:eyebrow:

BTW, are New Zealanders offended by being called Kiwis? Or are they cool widdit?

It's a fine moniker. I think they rather like it.

Like calling Americans - Yanks.

New Zealanders I've known have called themselves Kiwis.
Note - if you are unsure of whether someone is Australian or Kiwi, get them to say "Ten pens". A Kiwi will say "Tin pins".

Of course many Merkins can't tell the difference between English, South African and Antipodean, so this might be a moot point ;)

When I was a teen working at my hometown bakery, one of my cow orkers was a New Zealander who said 'ducky' a lot. Is that particular to the county or just an all around British term?

In Leicester, the favourite term of endearment was "me duck". As in, "Y'all right there me duck?" It was only really used by auld wifies, but had apparently been widespread before strange colours and shapes came in via the television.

Ducky? As far as my experience goes it's just an old-fashioned (out-dated) way of calling someone homosexual.

Duckies seem to be serious subjects in some places...

WallStreetJournal
The Sober Science of Migrating Rubber Duckies

LOL...she called all of us duckies.

Did the massage by any chance include this?:yum:

Penguins may feel neglected by this thread and Adak in particular.

Well hell, we can cook them too. :D

For more on the difference and rivalry between Australians and New Zealanders, check out Flight of the Concords. There's lots of other examples, but this is the one I like best.



Having said that, in Japan, it was the New Zealanders who the Australians graviated towards when they didn't feel like dealing with anyone exotic. It was like talking to someone from home except you could make sheep jokes at their expense.

Casi - Jim Robinson as the Ambassador!
Excellent.

thanks xob.

The main way to tell the New Zealand accent is by the short i sound, like in six, bit, etc. which comes out sounding like a short u like in sucks, but and so on.

If it sounded like ducky he was calling you dicky.

SG, Jim Robinson was a long-time Neighbours cast member wasn't he?