Can You Guess What I Did?
 

Last nite and the nite before, I did something I've never done before. Two different things.

I'm an average white male, 42 years old. I thought I'd done everything with a female that I'd cared to do (that rules out Cleveland Steamers & Dirty Sanchez' and the like). What I ain't done, ain't a long list. What happened last nite and the nite before both involved nekkidity, but, not sex. During one we touched each other, during one we did not. One activity lasted, literally, alllllll niiiiiiite looooong. The other lasted about ten minutes.

And your final clue: One activity involved bodily fluids, the other did not.

What did I do?

Had your butt dildoed?

Please tell us you didn't pee on her.

Gazed into each other's eyes and cried at the beauty of it all.
Held hands, gazed into each other's eyes and cried at the beauty of it all.

What do I win?

Giggety-giggety!

Were you binding the briars with joys and desires? (And sorry, I know you're from Kentucky and all...the briar part was completely unintentional.) *thnort*

Waaaaaaiiiiitttttt a minute. You're 42 years old? :eek:

Skinny dipping in the neighbor's hot tub ?

Heee!

Prosecutor: Mr. Chappelle, what would it take to convince you that R. Kelly is guilty?

Dave Chappelle: Okay, I'd have to see a video of him singing "Pee On You," two forms of government ID, a police officer there to verify the whole thing, four or five of my buddies and Neal taking notes, and R. Kelly's grandma to confirm his identity.

R. Kelly's Grandma: That's my Robert, always peeing on people.

He did not pee on her. Ten minutes might not be all that long but it would still be a very long pee.

You proposed, she turned you down/accepted after some deliberation/pussy-footin' around.

you fed each other curry and shat all night.

Phones sex?
Watch each other masturbate?
Tickle her ass with a feather?

this is making me uncomfortable

Don't look then.

Ding! We have half a winner.

I almost wouldn't admit to that:facepalm:...but at least there was a female involved. This time.

It was better than I thought it would be (if you haven't done this, it was better than you're prolly thinking too), but I still felt a little, I don't know, weird about the whole thing. It wasn't as hard once she got going good...Well, I mean, that's when it was hardest, but, that's when it got easier, for me.

But, it was her idea, and, what Baby wants Baby gets. Cuz Gravdigr likes Baby.;)

Uh, no.

I did not pee on her.

Afraid so. Wanna fight about it?

:lol2:

I'm tempted to let you guys keep guessing as to the other thing, cuzz you're cracking me up. But it's not nearly as entertaining a subject.

I slept with a completely naked female. I was completely naked too. In the same bed. And no sex! (:eek: I know!!) Which until then was a foreign concept to me. She's naked, you're naked, you're in a bed, WTF?!

She said she just didn't want to sleep alone. It didn't hit me that both of us sleep in our b-day suit til we were literally beside the bed getting into it. She slept like a stone. No sleep for me. I may have dozed off a little after daylight. She got ready and left for work, I got dressed, went home, and, went to bed till like three in the afternoon.

She made me take the rubber band that holds my ponytail out of my hair, and made me remove my dad's dogtag chain, which I wear as a bracelet. I was as naked as the day I was born. I noticed a few minutes later that she had removed rings, necklaces, and anything she wasn't born with.

What the hell's that about, I wonder...

I'm such a dumbass!!!

I just realized that was the first time we spent a whole night together. As in, a sleepover. Shit, that has to mean something...

WTF does it mean???

She wanted to find out if you fart and/or snore in your sleep, but you fooled her by not sleeping. :haha:
OR, she wanted to see if you could control yourself and not attack her as she slept.
OR, she wanted to be attacked as she slept.
OR, she wanted to see if you would have to go home, because of family.
OR, she was worried about a stalker.
OR, she wanted her neighbors to see you leave in the morning.
OR, she wanted to mind fuck you... which she did.

Wait...you like a baby? And I thought dating a guy 1 year younger than me was cradle robbing...

Damn, how old did you people think I was? (Old enough to know better than to beat off in front my beneficial friend? Guess not.)

Shawnee thought you were in your 70s. Now she knows otherwise.... watch out! :lol:

From The Ethical Slut:...I can confirm this, the embarrassment and the sexy fun and the instructiveness.

Spit back and forth on each other.

"Oooh."

"AAaahhhhh."

"Oh, yeah!"

"Baby that's it, that's it babay...."

"Yeah, oh, yeah. Spit on me."

"Oh yeah, I'm gonna sp-wait, whut?"

sex. It's so weird.

I'm sorry but I can't help feeling a little disappointed by this thread, cheated even. I was expecting (and hoping for) something seriously kinky, something I could tell people about - and all I get is people masturbating then going to sleep. Isn't that what most folk do everyday.

I had it in my head you were like, late 20s. No idea why!

You've been peeking! :eek:

You didn't think your internet connection was one-way, did you?

Was it my boyish good looks, or my incredible stamina and virility?;)

Yes. :p:

When you combine stamina and virility you get stirility.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Sterile wouldn't be the end of the world, as long as I could still make a mess. I like making a mess.