D-Day
 

It is getting closer each day.

Divorce day?

Drummer's Day ?

Dalliance Day, let freedom ring, ringless!

Death Day is getting closer each day.

True, but it's not today.

Neither is D-Day.

Soon, soon, I promise.

D. Day:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3437/...d06b8d.jpg?v=0

"Ramming speed!"

His virtuoso performance of "The William Tell Overture" is SonofV's favorite scene. He can do it a little, but it needs more practice.

Day ain't over yet.

Day is just starting.

The day is half gone(EST).

D is only a third of Day, though

:notworthy

I wish to revise my answer.

D-Day is coming, and it will be here soon. I can say so with confidence, because I know the date.

Death Day, not so much. If an event is in the future, at some unknown and undefined time, how can I say it's getting closer? Of course I accept the inevitability of own death. But how can I tell if it isn't simply receding as fast (or faster!) than I approach it? And if it is, then isn't it the case that it is NOT approaching?

/end of thought exercise

"shorter of breath, and one day closer to death."

Wouldn't it be a bugger if it was diarrea day? If you knew it was coming and there was nothing you could do about it except stay near the lav...

Maybe or maybe not it is BigV's D-Day...
but tomorrow, Dec 1st, is DADT Report day from the Dept of Defense

Let the games begin !

The report was out today....
Link

Can you think of anything scarier than a big, gay Marine coming at you with love in his eyes? :love::bolt:

I really don't have an opinion here, as I am not affected in the least. By DADT, or big, gay Marines. Just trying to find the humor.

:D

DADT? wasn't that a weedkiller that caused birth deformities? or is that AT&T?

I thought it was a form of birth control.

No, that's DCIM: Dont Come Inside Me

Wasn't that DFFC? Don't Fuck Fertile Chicks?

It is here!

Today is D-Day.
No more callers, please, we have a BINGO.
"Ringless"??? A bit of foreshadowing there, Griff? You get the consolation prize.

Today is my one year Divorce Anniversary. (Divorce-rary?)

Actually, the prize metaphor falls apart when I consider how much my life has changed over the past couple years. /begin flashback/

Tink and I met and married and raised our kids and all was well. But our lives changed, our kids and our circumstances changed. We changed. This is normal, unsurprising. But our relational habits didn't change, we didn't adapt to our new realities. This, then, became the source of considerable tension. Many of you were witness to this, felt some of the shockwaves of the conflict in our marriage. I can report from ground zero that it sucked worse than everything else I'd ever endured. I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on a snake.

It was a long time coming. In Aug of 2007 she filed for divorce. It was something of an ambush and while that filing was ultimately unsuccessful, our bond was fractured, never to be mended. We reconciled and spent several months actually happy to be together again. You all witnessed some of this, too. Most of 2008 was pretty good. Toward the end of the year, the shine on our marriage wore off for Tink, though I would not know this until the new year. In Jan 2009, Tink told me once again she wanted a divorce, this time in person.

The strain of the previous divorce filing was so great and the length of our reconciliation was so short, that I could not, would not battle her again to preserve our marriage. Funny choice of words, eh? That's what the first reconciliation felt like. But by this time, I was out of gas. I acceeded to her wishes. So began almost a year of mortal combat about the dissolution of our marriage.

I don't feel like recounting all the details of this harrowing journey here. It was terrible. I felt terrible. I had felt I had no experience or tools to deal with my impending singleness. My whole world was positively gravid with change, and I did *not* want to be born.

But those new babies are born nonetheless, wailing and screaming in powerless protest at the blinding, icy change thrust upon them. They complain until they're exhausted then they collapse, and so did I. Their exercise and experience makes them stronger, and so did mine. Eventually, they complain for reasons, instead of about everything, and so did I. Eventually their world changes from one of terrifying unknowns to one of wonderous mysteries, and so did mine.

Today marks the end of a one year self imposed embargo on discussing my personal life. I have experienced more wonderous mysteries this year than in the previous ten years put together. There have been many more new personal records set, and broken, and re-broken throughout the year. It is no exaggeration to say that I am a new man. There is much about me that many of you would not recognize, though some of you sagely predicted such changes.

It is late now and I am going to retire. But I wanted to take notice of this day. I want to acknowledge all those whose interest and care and input brought me to this point. Even Tink, to whom I sent a nice message today. I won't say this transition has been painless--it has been anything but painless. But pain is instructive. And now I bear the scars from my experience, healed scars. I hope that my thoughts and actions reflect some learning and wisdom I gained from my instruction.

Sometimes it is a great success just to survive and heal.

I'm glad you made it to the other side, V.

What Pete said.

Congrats, Big V, although I'm always saddened to see the end of a relationship, especially when kids are involved.

BTW, you did let the cat out of the bag a little bit.

Big hugs to you, BigV.

Looks like you are stronger than ever.

ditto what pete said

Well done Big V. Much respect your way for all you have endured in the past few years to try to make it all work and preserve the bond, but in the end I cannot judge you for your efforts. I can only wish you the best in your future and remind you it can only go up from her. Hang in there mate....

Congrats V.

A hard journey, but you made it through.

Been there, done that... a couple times. I'm pretty sure I understand what you've been through, and I know I understand where you're at now. Ain't it great.:D

You, sir, your voice, sir, has been echoing in my head for a few years now.

It *was* mean when you said it, but you were still right when you said it: "So, get from the bitch to the beach", you bastard.

You are right again, unsurprisingly. It **IS** great, you have no idea.

I thank all of you, my friends, for being excellent to each other, and to me, through the years. /bows deeply/

I have the handbook, unfortunately it was given to me too late. :haha:

Love the cover, looks like it was done by one of my fav artists, R. Crumb.

Congrats to V on a happy ending.

Have you, ahem, 'reveled in your singledom'?

{reposted from yesterday due to technical difficulties}

Two years, today.

I thought all day about what to say to commemorate this landmark in my life, and have come up pretty empty handed. I have seen some of my friends also fall into the abyss of divorce. At least it feels that way at first. When I listened to their stories, I could empathize with their feelings of shock, but another reaction was stronger. That my current state was a testament to just how good it could be, and fairly soon after that shock wears off.

Make no mistake, it was a shock and a painful one. But my whole life is better now, everything is better now. And it's kind of a surprise because at the time, I kind of thought it was the end of the world. At least I had no idea there would be surcease to the pain, that there was an end to the stupefaction. There was indeed and I had no idea how good it would become.

My marriage lasted as long as it did, and then ended. My life continued, I continued. To my friends who are still in free fall, please, take it from me, you're flying rapidly to a much better life. Hang on!

ps, that goes for you too, Tink. Happy Divorceary!

((((((((Big V)))))))

Thank you. :)

Has someone told Elspode to visit this thread?

BigV, I am also glad you are here and have travelled the path you have. Thanks for sharing it with us here.

Crazy isn't it, how life CAN and DOES get better. Who woulda thunk? I'm incredibly happy that you're so happy.

:)

First I noticed how much longer the toilet paper lasted, then how much better life in general was.

My D Day is on my birthday, so although I dont celebrate my Birthday, I definitely recognise the day the court granted my "Me-ness" back.

My Mum said to me the other day..."never understod why you got married, you were never going to, I couldnt understand it".

Yes Mum, neither do I. I was against it from a very young age but fucking immigration forced my hand.

::::grumbles, big fucking waste of money that sponorship was::::

that actually inspired me big V.

haven't gone through the legal process... i thought she was going to file for an annulment, and she pretty much has be the one since we are only registered in canada (her place) and i'm back in israel (my place)...
and part of me still hoping that she might some day decide to finish the immigration process (there's a kid involved) so i am patient with it, not exactly rushing to get married any time soon and i'm young enough to be fine with starting my economic life from scretch. not sure if there's any point in going over the divorce paperwork now. `

While some of you revel in being single, I'm still hurting after 3 years.

...and that depressed me.

come on man, tell the divorce newbie something good...

everything you have in the fridge is something you like, right? every item in your house... and there's nobody who nags you until you hate the sound of your name, that has to be nice... and a lot of booty, right?

Best 5 years of my life. Lotta shit went down during that time.
Some of which was tragic and altered the lives of many people forever.
Still I wouldn't change a thing. I am with a far better person and she has
stuck by me through it all. YMMV.

You won't have to buy nearly as much toilet paper.

You have a toilet paper fixation Bruce.

stupid related enecdote, but i remember one night shift in the army we started talking about where we see ourselve's in a decade. the girls and a few of the guys where saying married, maybe with kids... i never really saw myself getting married, so at the expense of our superior officer (2 divorces) i joked that i see myself following in his footsteps and being divorced.



god thinks he's so funny...

But....

No butts...and definitely no ifs!

Can she bake a cherry pie
Billy boy billy boy
Can she bake a cherry pie
Charming billy?
She can bake a cherry pie
Quick as a cat can wink an eye
She's a young one and cannot leave her mother

I hurt for a long time too - in varying levels.

I wouldn't say either that I reveled in being single, quite the opposite actually. I went through different stages, some fun times dating, some horrid times. Lots of times I just said forget about it for a while.

It takes as long as it takes, but if you do the work, it does get better. Really.

Six years today. Each better than the last one. Tink's death makes this year permanently different, but for reasons that aren't directly related to our divorce.

It has been another good year notwithstanding. Thanks to you all, thanks to my children, and thanks most of all to Twil. See you all again same time next year.

Seven years. Like an arrow, like an arrow.

The kids are young adults now, they got adult problems. Marriage (or divorce) isn't one of the 99, thank goodness. I've re-read this thread and this sentence struck me:

I like that. It's true, it's sensible, it's just right, but I only wish I'd been able to comprehend it before, you know....2011.

I'm a much, much better partner now than I ever have been. And a big part of the reason for that is what I've learned (that I never want to repeat) from my mistakes in my relationships in the past.

"D-Day". I crack me up. See you all next year.

:D

Happy D-Day to me!

Once again, this thread brings back memories, good memories. I can remember the bad stuff too, but it just does not feel as apocalyptic now. I mean, of course it did. But maaaan... Back then, I thought I gonna die, and I was afraid I wouldn't. Horrible.

But not now. Now, Life Is Good.

Thank you, Twil!