What's making you sad today
 

One of the neighborhood dads (father of a friend of Zing #2) dropped dead from a brain aneurism yesterday. He was 52.

We weren't close friends, but he was a good guy and I always enjoyed talking with him.

That sucks. Brain aneurysms are scary. I know of a few people who died of them, it's said you are dead before you hit the ground.

Yeah, I had a high school teacher die from one in his sleep. I think he was in his 40s. If you have a family, you should always keep your life insurance current.

Also, keep a glass-shattering tool inside your car, in case you ever go careening into the water.

and wear clean underwear



Sorry about your neighbor, dar

And one of those seatbelt slicing things.

Sorry, PZ.

One of my first cousins died on Wednesday. He was 45.

Oh it's horrid when your generation starts to go, and so young too! My sympathies, Pete!

Sorry to hear about that Pete.

I worked in a company where two people died of aneurisms about 18 months apart. One wasn't employed by the company but came along to Sports & Social events so we knew him well. Lightning from a blue sky in both cases and it really rattled us.

My whole Plan™ is in jeopardy and I am wondering, "What is the fucking point?" Why am I putting myself through all this stress? Am I going to make it? Do I want to? If I don't do this, then what the hell am I going to do? I'm 40 fucking years old, with my weight, likely well past the mid point of my life, and what?

Even questioning myself and The Plan™ has me upset. Fucking gah.

You know, I'm not as smart as some of the folks here, or as experienced, or knowledgeable. I get that some of my ideas or the things I do might not be popular or even "right". I also understand that posting to a forum on the internet opens one up to ridicule, flame wars, trolls and all sorts of other unpleasantness. But for me, writing has always been a way of sorting things out. A litmus test. When I started lurking here in 2002, I quickly became impressed with quite a few of the folks here...and then I started posting and was accepted into this little "community". Sure, many folks fought like cats and dogs, but I always got the sense that when the chips were down, we were there for each other. Good or bad. Kindof like you yelling at your little brother but if some other kid comes up and starts yelling at your little brother, you beat the snot out of them. That sense of things.

It's been nearly 10 years and I've gone away and returned a few times. Usually, when I've returned, its been because some crazy shit is going down, and I went back to where I felt I could get some feedback. To my community.

But this time is different. I've been noticing that the community feeling...that sense of belonging to something bigger than me but smaller than my little town has evaporated. People who I used to count on for advice or a kind word are now, more often than not, just plain mean and bitchy. There are people who have arrived since I left and when before they would have been "run out of town", not for what they said but how they said it, now they are not just tolerated, but embraced. (I missed Emma, and I think I'm thankful.)

I'm generally not thin-skinned (God knows!) but I think that more lately than ever this community is reflecting more of the world at large instead of being the bastion of decency and good-natured people that I thought we had. I don't know. Maybe the change in me is that I'm not as naive and gullible as I was. Maybe none of you have changed and I'm just interpeting things in new ways.

I'm sad today because I recognize that even if no one else here is changing, I am. I'm not sure the changes have been for the better.

Plus, I think I'm having a midlife crisis anyway. If I've already peaked, I'm in serious fucking trouble.

This.

The world is polarizing. People choose a side and defend everything about that side no matter what. I don't think this is a good thing.

Most people change with age/maturity. Not always for the better. So for the atmosphere of a place not to change, the people in that place must be replaced by younger models on a regular basis.

Which came first, the cake or the eating it?

Fax, our cat, died today.

AWWWWW

I'm sorry, plt. I know how you feel. Two weeks ago I had to put down my 18 year old cat, Taj. She had a stroke, and it was horrible. I've had her almost her whole life. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, and I was affected more than I thought possible...even though I knew she was getting so old. She was the sweetest cat I've ever known.

Gaines used to pick on her (she was pickable, like me, my brothers picked on me too) but he seems to be really missing her.

I found this pic in another thread. Maybe I'll find another one that shows off her great big bright green neon eyes.

RIP my sweetface baby girl. :sniff:

It is a terrible thing to lose a pet. They are so much a part of the family ...

awwww! i will find some pix of fax. the ones i had on the puter got lost when i had to reformat about 6 months ago. fax was about 15. he was diagnosed with cancer only a few weeks ago. knew it was coming but when it happens....ya know....it's still way sad. so Taj and Fax are sharing the hookah in cat nip heaven together, smokin' nip and drinkin beer n whiskey! about 2 months ago paul had a whiskey on the rocks sitting on the table. Fax jumped up there and just proceeded to help himself!! funny funny! another time i had cooked ribs for dinner. Fax jumped up in pauls' lap and stole the rib he was eating and hauled ass with it!! now THAT was funny!! he was a great cat. we'll miss him.

Ha! Yeah, as sweet and shy and unassuming as Tajjy was...if you had chicken on your plate (or a hamburger or pepperoni pizza) she could move at the speed of light. I don't know how many times I said "Dammit, Tajjy." :lol:

Especially chicken, though. If there was any chicken within 100 yards her little nose would start flaring. Gaines doesn't give one hoot about chicken.

Cats, they are great.

my pets are better than 1/2 of my human family...

So sorry to hear about the kitties. May they chase the golden ball of yarn in kitty heaven.

Is OC still around or did she leave? I could tell her that the mid-life crisis thing gets better. Time takes time - which sucks but there you go.

Quotable.

We had an 18 wheeler hit 2 school buses resulting in 3 deaths and multiple injuries. This wasn't in my jurisdiction, but was close by so it still affects people in my area. So tragic

I heard about that Sarge , Hows the Kids that got hurt ??

I briefly caught a mention of that story Big Sarge. Ackerman High School?

Ackerman High, but they wrecked in Calhoun County. There are still 4 that I know of in the hospital

damn. what a tragedy. that's just awful.

Man. Hubby's deer camp is up that way. They buy their groceries in French Camp, but they go eat at Pap's restaurant in Weir.

I will keep those folks in my prayers.

Ah man, that is tough to look at.

this was fax in one of his many favorite napping spots. the sink in my bathroom.

awww...too cute!

he was a great cat. he actually was leash trained. yep, he'd walk on a leash and heal. we will miss him.

Two beautiful cats gone.
I'm not going to say anything pukey about the Rainbow Bridge, but I have paused for a few seconds to acknowledge their passing. And I feel for you both PLT & Shawnee.

Sarge, that's a horrible thing. As you say it affects a lot of people.
And how awful to be a pupil at the school knowing there are empty desks.

Pretty kitty, pilot. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I love sink kittehs! :)

Yeah, talking about Taj yesterday made me really sad. Sister Frances be damned, I am sure she is with her best buddy Toonces now. Anyway, Gaines won't let me fret too long: he's become quite the attention monger. Bless his little kitteh heart. :biggrinlo

Cats are great. Not to mention photogenic. I'd love to have one, but I'm reeeeeealy allergic.

thanks y'all. shink kittehs ah cute as ah button!

funny story: i remember one time last summer i was getting ready for work, he liked to sleep in the tub too (that's where he passed too btw) anyway, i had just woken up and didn't look in the tub i just reached in and turned on the water. yup. he was in there and did this....:eek: and :bolt: and i couldn't help but :rotflol:

oh and didn't mean to make ya sad shaw! Taj was a beautiful kitty!

Ohh. So sad when they go.

I know I have it to face with Pilau, probably within the next year and a half, and I am dreading it. Most of the time I don't think about it. But sometimes. When he's struggling to get up or down, and at night when I send him off to go sleep on his bed under the window, instead of following me upstairs like he's done for the last 12 years (up and down on the bed every night, not good or his joints: and he gets stucks halfway down the stairs sometimes in the middle of the night;p).

Gah. Gonna go give him biccies and a cuddle naow!

I have never met Pilau and yet I luvs him! He's a lucky doggie to have such a great mom. :) Give him an extra hug from me.

Nothing worse.... I put one of my dogs to sleep myself and then called the vet, a good friend, balling my eyes out. Hardest thing I ever did. I couldn't put his brother down. We let the vet do it mid surgery. We still have one of the trio left and he hopefully has a few years left in him, but I see his age wearing on him. These dogs don't live much past 9 yrs or so.... so sad but so humane an act as well when it is time. We owe it to our dogs to take care of them and end their suffering when it is time. We know it. And I think they know it as well.

You know merc, I think they know too. It's the last kindness we can give them. Damn it is a hard thing to do though. :(

Pilau agrees.

Or, he would agree if he understood what was being typed. He's rather more interested in the open packet of McVities Digestives stood next to my keyboard..

I wish I could get Diz interested in anything other than my shoulder.
As soon as I put him back down on my lap he protests by sitting right in front of he monitor (he'll ruin his eyes) or walking over the keyboard, or switching the printer on and then bolting back up onto my shoulder from fear at the noise.

Pesky shoulder cat.

:sniff:

Yeah, things like that generate a public sadness.

PDX Zoo recently lost an elephant due to an 11-yr, unsuccessfully treated TB infection.

Today, I'm going to delete Brianna from my address book. :mecry:

Always a painful moment, Bruce. :'(

Sent by thought transference

I still have my buddy John in mine.

He passed in 2006.

I just can't do it.

I had not thought of it before, but keeping them in your address book,
either paper or electronic, seems to me to be a very nice idea.

Serves to remind you of them at random times... just as xoB's post reminded us of Brianna.


.

That's the problem, I'll be looking up somebody's address and see it which instantly makes me sad.

Now I'm sad too.

I just read the whole Tribly thread ... :(

Then again, I still have a voicemail on my cell from my friend/mentor who died from cancer 3-4 years ago.

This Is Making Me Sad Today
 

Hopefully something good will come out of this for him.
Looks like he's raised $44K already in less than a day.

:thumb:


Thanks for following up on that, Glatt.

I would like to be dead now.

Why?

I don't see a point any more. It's the same things over and over and it really doesn't matter what I do it's never going to get better. I dont' know any reason to keep trying, when it all comes out the same.

Put the part of your life that depresses you on automatic pilot, just cruise along knowing it won't change. Then try to add things to your life that make you smile. Those things may grow to dwarf the bad shit.

I'm genuinely sorry you feel this way.

But I think it's a temporary feeling you have. You may not see a light at the end of the tunnel, and it may take some time for you to feel differently, but I think you will feel differently. Bruce posted that story about the people who were trying to kill themselves on Golden Gate Bridge, and were thwarted. Some researchers followed up with them years later and the vast majority of them were doing much better.

Things change, and this will change too.