Dumber than a box of rocks
 

Jim's story here had me looking for phrases meaning "not too bright". Most of the ones I ran across I hear in my head with a country drawl.

So how many phrases can we come up with?

I'll start -

He's a few bricks shy of a load.

Slower than a wet weekend.

Two snags short of a barbie.

One beer short of a six pack.

sandwich short of a picnic

Not the sharpest tool in the shed

The lights are on but nobody's home

Not firing on all cylinders

A few french fries short of a happy meal

thick as two short planks
dumb as a bag of hammers
elevator doesn't go to the top floor/penthouse

time to coin some:

A Dolphin short of a Meme

Enjoys an alternate thought process

---

oh wait, I remembered (a not very nice) one I heard over here... Rides the Short Bus.

Mouth-breather.

Thick as pigshit.

Forrest Gump

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

I heard this one from a French Canadian :

Not a 100 Watts lightbulb

One taco short of a combination plate

Sharp as a marble

(I remember the first time I heard "not the sharpest tool in the shed" from my ex's funny and smart cousin referring to a friend of a younger smart but doofy cousin. I laughed my arse off.)

Coined:

His WiFi doesn't quite reach his modem

sharp as a bowling ball (Foghorn Leghorn)

An intellect rivalled only by garden tools.

As smart as bait

If he had 2 brains, 1 would be lonely

That boy's got a mind like a steel trap. Rusty, that is.

--Mr Leghorn

One spanner short of a toolkit.


and an oldie but still in regular currency (so to speak...):

Not a full shilling.

In college we said "as smart as roadkill."

there was a long one?

If IQ was 2 points higher, they'd be a carrot

A bubble off plumb

He's only got two synapses, connected by a spirochete and he's just been put on penicillin.

We said this one a lot as kids. Back when my dad was still insisting there was nothing wrong with Minifob, I laughed and informed him, "Dad, in the mornings he literally rides the short bus to school."

Except then later in the year, too many kids had joined the program and they had to switch them to a long bus. So now he's fine! :)

Hanging out where the buses don't run

Has one wheel in the gutter

The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead

Lights are on but nobody's home

Smart as bait

His brother was an only child

His cord doesn’t quite reach the outlet

His cheese done slipped off his cracker

lmao

awesome! :lol:

dumb as a bag of hair

Has Delusions of Adequacy

Has an IQ the same as her dress size...

So dense light bends around him
Room Temperature IQ
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled
Strong like bear, smart like tractor

the average IQ in the tdcj is 85. sooooo, i had coined the phrase while on hiatus - eeeeeiiiiiiiiggggghhhhhttttttyyyyyyyyy-fiiiiiiiiive. and just shake my head most times. other times i would just look on in a blank stare wondering how someone could be so dumb.

ya know, I was thinking room temps in celcius....

ya know...i can be rather dumb sometimes....i'm smart, but stupid at the same time! :D

Cookie generator wins again!

but never as low as room temperature..... ;) I was just pointing out that I never thought about fahrenheight. because I'm a dick.

No, you're both wrong I'm the dummest dick.

dummer than a dick in a blonde factory?

bread wasn't done

IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.

Sharp as a bag of wet leather.

Smart like bull, strong like chicken.

About two chromosomes short of a chimp.

Not exactly Mr. Wizard.

AC body, DC brain.

You look in his eyes, you can see the inside of his skull.

Body by Play-do, brain by Mattel.

The priest left him under too long at his christening.

A mind like a steel sieve.

When God was handing out brains, he was last in line

Running on empty

coining a retro one: his 45s play at 33

his 78s play at 45
his victrola has a blunt needle
his cuneiforms are blurry
his story teller has a sore throat
His big bang was just a whimper

retro winning!

His movies are all on Betamax
His rotary dial needs oiling

He's a nibble short of a full byte.

~F. Leghorn

Duller than a froe.

Thick as a brick. ~J. Tull

Dumber than shit.

he's like yesterday's coffee -- a little weak in the bean

Read this in Reader's Digest last night:

While he was not as dumb as an ox, he was not any smarter either.
--James Thurber (the barber) ;)

He's so dumb...
(how dumb is he?)

He's so dumb, he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if there were directions on the toe saying "tip up".

He's so dumb, he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were printed on the heel.

wait a minute! a 3 foot dick?!?!?!?! :eek:

u r teh lol.

hahahahahaha

Thicker than an apostrophe in Molasse's

I vote you go to bed now.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh

(it was good, wasn't it?)????????????