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-   -   Not much time left...and I miss my parents... (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=25012)

pensive pam 04-25-2011 01:32 AM

Not much time left...and I miss my parents...
 
Congrats to the community. You WIN. I wanted things to be so much different for my life. Today was easter adn i was too ashamed toi call home. ashamed of who i am. Ashamed I could not get the job done. ...so be it...i guess.

I know how I am viewed on here. i see what is written. i AM a loser. and am low on food and money. i see what little I have. not much to see. i came here because of someone telling me to. i know i am looked at as a 'troller' person. my circumstances are real...

things got out of hand in my life. i wish i could blame the econmy. but i will take the blame. please do not ever say i was not honest about my being. do you know what it is like deciding to spend money on food or medicine .... when yuo can not buy both???

so please do not evr call me a fraud. most of you will never knwo...and i hope you do not ever have to know what it is like - even those on here who tried to destry my soul.

yes, i lost the gotham's writer contest. she was better. and yes, i did get banned from cafepharma. i was her on that site. howmuch more can one bare their soul to an anonymous website????

no of you care. so if you do not like what I post then let me be...just let me go. a life of pain. a life of mutilation and regret.

Pam.

pensive pam 04-25-2011 03:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pensive pam (Post 726749)
Congrats to the community. You WIN. I wanted things to be so much different for my life. Today was easter adn i was too ashamed toi call home. ashamed of who i am. Ashamed I could not get the job done. ...so be it...i guess.

I know how I am viewed on here. i see what is written. i AM a loser. and am low on food and money. i see what little I have. not much to see. i came here because of someone telling me to. i know i am looked at as a 'troller' person. my circumstances are real...

things got out of hand in my life. i wish i could blame the econmy. but i will take the blame. please do not ever say i was not honest about my being. do you know what it is like deciding to spend money on food or medicine .... when yuo can not buy both???

so please do not evr call me a fraud. most of you will never knwo...and i hope you do not ever have to know what it is like - even those on here who tried to destry my soul.

yes, i lost the gotham's writer contest. she was better. and yes, i did get banned from cafepharma. i was her on that site. howmuch more can one bare their soul to an anonymous website????

no of you care. so if you do not like what I post then let me be...just let me go. a life of pain. a life of mutilation and regret.

Pam.

p.s. enjoy your life fuckers!!! i will never return
EVER.

Last post,
Pam!!!

Sundae 04-25-2011 07:18 AM

PLEASE.

Pico and ME 04-25-2011 10:24 AM

Sweeps week over so soon?

glatt 04-25-2011 10:30 AM

I, like many here, thought it was Emma. Emma has gotten around her IP ban in the past by posting from locations other than home during school breaks, and last week was a school break. I assumed Emma was staying with someone who lives in Queens. But I decided it wasn't Emma, because there was no politics. Emma could never resist baiting liberals, and I've seen none of that with Pam. I expect to see Pam posting again tonight.

Undertoad 04-25-2011 10:37 AM

Wolf taught us about Borderline Personality Disorder a while back. Bold mine:

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publi...et/index.shtml

Quote:

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. Originally thought to be at the "borderline" of psychosis, people with BPD suffer from a disorder of emotion regulation. While less well known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2 percent of adults, mostly young women. There is a high rate of self-injury without suicide intent, as well as a significant rate of suicide attempts and completed suicide in severe cases.

XAgent 04-25-2011 10:41 AM

Wait..

..who are you? Jk. Don't mind me!

wolf 04-25-2011 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 726833)
Wolf taught us about Borderline Personality Disorder a while back.

I was working on that assumption from her first post, incidentally.

pensive pam 04-25-2011 02:03 PM

Hi. Yet again, you have forced my hand. I am not 'Emma.' But I have seen all comparisions. I do not talk politics or religeon...as Mr. Glatt stated. It is not me. What I meant by 'not a lot of time?' If i do not find a job this week, I will be foreced to move back home...

That has nothing to do with school break. I graduated college already. I am unemployed and on 'permanent break.'...or so it appears. I have been honest about my sitauation...have I not???

I do get upset by the comments, and at times have wine and go into a fit of rage... I do not know what else to say at this point...

I know I have a personality disorder! Is that what you want to hear?? Well there, i have just stated that for the record. I do not mean any disrespec tto anyone, nor tihs site. I thank Mr. undertoad for allowing me here. and i thank Glatt for believing the truth about me.

Not, I shall ask some of you to prove to me that this 'Emma' person existed. It is driving me nuts... yet nobody will tell me??

upset, jaded, disallusioned, sad, and very confused right now,
Pam.

jimhelm 04-25-2011 02:05 PM

glad you're back,

jim

not just pamming, either

wolf 04-25-2011 02:06 PM

Step one: Don't have wine.

Or vodka.

Or weed.

Or other clearly ineffective means of coping.

Stay on your medications, continue in therapy.

Decide what you want. Write it down.

Rewrite it into achievable goals and steps to achieve those goals.

Hang a printed copy somewhere that you will see it multiple times per day.

Implement the steps that you have defined.

infinite monkey 04-25-2011 02:17 PM

Pam, I asked you a question that I was serious about, but you never answered it. So...one more try.

You say your 'rents live in a nearby state. I was curious if you and they moved over here at the same time, or were you born here? Or maybe you were adopted? I'm just trying to figure out the logistics.


You've been most entertaining. I don't know your story but would like to know more.

footfootfoot 04-25-2011 02:29 PM

I used to miss my parents too. Then a friend told me I wasn't leading them enough...

jimhelm 04-25-2011 02:30 PM

and you have to allow for windage

Big Sarge 04-25-2011 02:31 PM

Wait a minute. She said her mother died giving birth to her and her father died when she was 16.

pensive pam 04-25-2011 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey (Post 726921)
Pam, I asked you a question that I was serious about, but you never answered it. So...one more try.

You say your 'rents live in a nearby state. I was curious if you and they moved over here at the same time, or were you born here? Or maybe you were adopted? I'm just trying to figure out the logistics.


You've been most entertaining. I don't know your story but would like to know more.

My parents live in NJ. i have a step mom. My real mother died while giving birth to me...which I have talk about on here. I moved here at 11 or 12. I spend my day on the computer looking for jobs. and I also come on here in between the search which is exhausing...

I move back and forthe between the screens of here, and employment sites. I was told about this site from someone who stumbled upon it. this person knows my true identity from the other site i have spoken about. I love this site. it is truly the best...

since i have answered your questions, i want to know about this other 'emma' person. if it is not allowed to be discussion, than that is fine. but evidently she did something very terrible.

I have come in peace. while i am unstable and i understand that, i am harmless and kind.

Thank you,
Pam.

infinite monkey 04-25-2011 02:32 PM

That's not what she said elsewhere. She said they lived in another state. It started my whole "what's your story" questions in gawd knows which of the hundreds of threads she started, which were never answered.

Trilby 04-25-2011 02:33 PM

Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story.

pensive pam 04-25-2011 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey (Post 726936)
That's not what she said elsewhere. She said they lived in another state. It started my whole "what's your story" questions in gawd knows which of the hundreds of threads she started, which were never answered.

yes, they live in a different state. i am in NY, they are in NJ.
what do you lack to understand??

footfootfoot 04-25-2011 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pensive pam (Post 726943)
yes, they live in a different state. i am in NY, they are in NJ.
what do you lack to understand??

Mr. Infinite lacks credulity to the understandingness.

footfootfoot 04-25-2011 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimhelm (Post 726932)
and you have to allow for windage

Practice makes perfect! PULL!

Undertoad 04-25-2011 03:11 PM

Pam, have you been officially diagnosed?

Do you attend therapy?

footfootfoot 04-25-2011 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sarge (Post 726934)
Wait a minute. She said her mother died giving birth to her and her father died when she was 16.

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune, but to lose both parents looks like carelessness.
(Lady Bracknell)

monster 04-25-2011 03:23 PM

People, you have to understand that none of the life examples Pam gives are intended as factual statements.

pensive pam 04-25-2011 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 726960)
Pam, have you been officially diagnosed?

Do you attend therapy?

Yes. i have been diagnosed with a personality disorder, anxiety neurosis, depression, and bi-polar. I do attend therapy, and take medications. my condition hopefully explains my passive/aggressive behaviour (or so they tell me.)

at times, i just go nuts. it's not something i want to do; and it is very difficult for me to controll. but i will try harder. if i see someone who is homeless or hungry i will offer to buy them a snack or whatever i can afford. i have a very kind heart. but then there are times when i 'snap' for no reasons. like when i saw the pretty girl on the train holding flowers. and i wanted to smash them because i never get flowers. but that would not be fair to her.

at the same time the thought was in my mind until she got off the train. and i keep staring at her perfect pretty face and body. I was jealous and angry.

Wishig you the best Mr underoad,
Pam.

glatt 04-25-2011 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pensive pam (Post 726908)
Not, I shall ask some of you to prove to me that this 'Emma' person existed. It is driving me nuts... yet nobody will tell me??

A former member here was named "Starring Emma." She became intolerably annoying, and to get rid of her, she was "sent to Coventry." This means that she could make posts, but nobody else could see her posts. She could see them, and Undertoad and the moderators could see them if they wanted to, but for everyone else, her posts are gone. So I can't show you any of her posts, because she's been made invisible. You will just have to trust that she was here, and be happy that you don't have to read her posts.

pensive pam 04-25-2011 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt (Post 726975)
A former member here was named "Starring Emma." She became intolerably annoying, and to get rid of her, she was "sent to Coventry." This means that she could make posts, but nobody else could see her posts. She could see them, and Undertoad and the moderators could see them if they wanted to, but for everyone else, her posts are gone. So I can't show you any of her posts, because she's been made invisible. You will just have to trust that she was here, and be happy that you don't have to read her posts.

thank you for reply. Anyone with the name 'starring emma' wanted to be a 'star.' so that should have gave her away. When i was on the other site, there was a person imitating me. I do not know what the motivation was. And i spent a lot of time battling that. I tried to show people how the structural sentences were different. I quoted the other poster's post, and then posted below how i would have written it. it was not fair to me. the 'imposter' used much bigger words than me, and longer senetences. and was much better at grammer. finally the webmaster came on. she had checked each IP address. and dismissed the rumor. I won validation!!!

thanks again,
Pam.

Undertoad 04-25-2011 04:11 PM

That's excellent, going for therapy! Good job by you.

When you're in therapy, do they give you suggestions on how to manage it when you "snap"?

pensive pam 04-25-2011 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 726998)
That's excellent, going for therapy! Good job by you.

When you're in therapy, do they give you suggestions on how to manage it when you "snap"?

Well, i have 'breathing techniqes' theye have taught me. also 'immiging' techniqes as well. I try to focus on my 'happy place' in my brain. so a lot of it is mental exercize.

i also need to be more carful to take medication at propers time. that is a very big factor. i also need to not drink wine. that is a key trigger to my mood.

thank you for a wonderful sight,
Love Pam.

morethanpretty 04-25-2011 04:57 PM

Pam, I am writing you a reply because I think what I have to say is important. But before you read, I want you know one thing. A lot of what I have to say will sound very mean, but I am only being 100% honest.

The reason why some of us might think you are troll is because your responses are erratic, you are offended very easily and blow things out of proportion, and you post a lot of threads about yourself and then get angry for us talking about you. If you are a really the way you say, than I am sorry for baiting you, but your actions are very suspect so it is hard to take you seriously.

My advice, if you want it, is to stop posting/reading The Cellar. Not because I do not want your input, but because I think it is bad for you. You do not need to do so for forever, but take a break. 6months or a year. You are not alone in this, many dwellers here have had to take a break when they were having mental issues. You have admitted to having mental issues, and you are not coping well at this time. Thats normal, you are under a lot of stress. That being said, it is hard enough to judge a person's true intent in real life, it is 50times harder to judge their intent on the internet when you do not have body, face or voice cues to help you discern their meaning. Therefor, I think you should take a break from online interacting. I think you are having a hard time understanding people's intent, and online you need to have the ability to stay calm and rational. At this time, you are struggling with that and you need to time to gain mental stability. Again, many of the posters here have had the same exact issue and had to take a break. You are not the only one.

Next, if your parents are good people, and able to help you out, then forget the job in NY and move back in with them. I, myself, have had to move back to my parents more than once due to medical issues. There is no shame in that. If living with them will help you have less stress, then do it. You need to focus on your mental health and do whatever it takes. Mental diseases are extremely difficult to control, it takes time, and most people do not understand them very well. Give the medicine time to work, almost all meds I've used for depression took months to a year to be truly effective, even meds for other diseases like Rheumatoid Arthritis can take a long time to work well. Do not give up on the meds, take them!

Last, STOP DRINKING! The type of meds you are probably on do not work well with alcohol. If you truly want to get better, do not drink alcohol at all.


Again, I know this will probably upset you, but believe it or not, I mean it to help you. Concentrate on getting better, take a break from online interaction. I wish you the best.

Please take time to really think about my message. Even take it in to your therapist if you have to and see what their opinion is if need be.

pensive pam 04-25-2011 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morethanpretty (Post 727014)
Pam, I am writing you a reply because I think what I have to say is important. But before you read, I want you know one thing. A lot of what I have to say will sound very mean, but I am only being 100% honest.

The reason why some of us might think you are troll is because your responses are erratic, you are offended very easily and blow things out of proportion, and you post a lot of threads about yourself and then get angry for us talking about you. If you are a really the way you say, than I am sorry for baiting you, but your actions are very suspect so it is hard to take you seriously.

My advice, if you want it, is to stop posting/reading The Cellar. Not because I do not want your input, but because I think it is bad for you. You do not need to do so for forever, but take a break. 6months or a year. You are not alone in this, many dwellers here have had to take a break when they were having mental issues. You have admitted to having mental issues, and you are not coping well at this time. Thats normal, you are under a lot of stress. That being said, it is hard enough to judge a person's true intent in real life, it is 50times harder to judge their intent on the internet when you do not have body, face or voice cues to help you discern their meaning. Therefor, I think you should take a break from online interacting. I think you are having a hard time understanding people's intent, and online you need to have the ability to stay calm and rational. At this time, you are struggling with that and you need to time to gain mental stability. Again, many of the posters here have had the same exact issue and had to take a break. You are not the only one.

Next, if your parents are good people, and able to help you out, then forget the job in NY and move back in with them. I, myself, have had to move back to my parents more than once due to medical issues. There is no shame in that. If living with them will help you have less stress, then do it. You need to focus on your mental health and do whatever it takes. Mental diseases are extremely difficult to control, it takes time, and most people do not understand them very well. Give the medicine time to work, almost all meds I've used for depression took months to a year to be truly effective, even meds for other diseases like Rheumatoid Arthritis can take a long time to work well. Do not give up on the meds, take them!

Last, STOP DRINKING! The type of meds you are probably on do not work well with alcohol. If you truly want to get better, do not drink alcohol at all.


Again, I know this will probably upset you, but believe it or not, I mean it to help you. Concentrate on getting better, take a break from online interaction. I wish you the best.

Please take time to really think about my message. Even take it in to your therapist if you have to and see what their opinion is if need be.

Dear Morethanpretty: No, I am not mad. (spell checker is working on my computer) so this message will be perfect. I can sense your honesty. Quiting is not best for me - as it will be defeated. I really do not have any place to release my feelings. I have few friends. I wish I could roam around the city more, but I have to apply for jobs online. Everything is online...

Perhaps, you will admit. People have been less than kind to me on here ... with a few exceptions. I just , I do not know. I see what people are saying. I was on other chatting boards, and then the same thing happened. And I was made out to be the bad person...

Getting 'banned' does hurt. There was never a reason given. But I am happy here. No other chat board wants me. my thoughts are a bit scattered. I apologize. I need a job.

It is amazing how people can be so cruel. I once saw a girl fall of the train platform. and a total stranger risked his life to save her from the train. i thought, perhaps, strangers are sometimes more willing to help...than friends. so that is why i am here...

I do feel bad for saying 'goodbye.' I just want to feel needed as everyone else. I know I have problems. But if people would simply look beyond what I post, they would see I am kind...

Much love (and hope the spell checking on my machine worked.)
Pam.

DanaC 04-25-2011 06:26 PM

The thing is Pam, it is very difficult to 'look behind the posts' when posts are all we have to go on *smiles*

If you don't want to take a break from online interaction then you need to try and dial that interaction back a little. Online communities are just collections of people, they cannot be relied upon to react and respond in the way you want them to. Coming on 'too strong' and too fast can put people on their guard.

If you want to be a real part of this community we need to know more about you than your problems. We need to 'see' you as a person. Starting a bunch of threads that throw the spotlight onto you doesn't help us see you it just turns you into a performance. General interaction accross the board with involvement in different threads would probably allow people to get to know you a little better. It would also help you get to know us a little better.

You're right that some of us have been a little unkind, myself included. But the truth is that was only ever about you for the first day, after that the joke itself became a 'meme'. We are a community, therefore we are subject to trends and fashions, in-jokes and running jokes, factions and fomentation.

This means that if a joke hits, it will likely get picked up on by others and before you know it everyone is making the same joke all over the Cellar. This happens all the time. It's not usually at the expense of a member though.

As to why we would be suspicious of you: there are some people who enjoy causing trouble by presenting a fake persona and persuading others to buy into that persona. Starring Emma was a particularly extreme example of that and she has returned on more than one occasion with a different name and a new identity each time. One of the characteristic features of her approach was to blitz the Cellar with loads of new threads. Another was extensive use of private messages.

This is probably the main reason many of us thought you might be a 'troll', because some aspects of your entrance to the community felt very similar.

Since you are apparently sticking around, maybe let us see a little of you engaging with us on our terms. That is to say, involving yourself in other threads and maybe letting us get a glimpse of your likes and dislikes, your favourite movies, what you might be eating for dinner, or whether you like animals. But not by starting a new thread for these things. The Cellar is full of long running threads, some of whihc have been active for years, in which we get to know odd stuff about each other. It's the inconsequential details and thoughts on politics or the best place to go camping, or how that latest interview went that allow us all to get to know each other.

But like any friendship, these things take time to build. You cannot just magic up instant friendship and comfort with people who are essentially strangers. Nor can you blitz them with every detail and expect that this will suffice. These things take time to build and that's ok. There's fun in the building.

*smiles*

Take a chill pill m'dear. And don't take our teasing to heart. Chances are it's not based on anything you've actually done wrong, but rather that something you've done or said has sparked amusement and set off a 'meme' without you realising.

jimhelm 04-25-2011 06:41 PM

I appreciate the intentions that you and mortie have, Dana, but why does she have to change to fit in? I think she fits in as is. She's not ruining anyone's day as far as I can tell, and the lulz seems to be never-ending.

I think she's done a fine job of stirring up things here. And they clearly needed stirring.

I say, keep being a basket case, Pam, if that's who you truly are. Don't change a thing.

pensive pam 04-25-2011 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 727048)
The thing is Pam, it is very difficult to 'look behind the posts' when posts are all we have to go on *smiles*

If you don't want to take a break from online interaction then you need to try and dial that interaction back a little. Online communities are just collections of people, they cannot be relied upon to react and respond in the way you want them to. Coming on 'too strong' and too fast can put people on their guard.

If you want to be a real part of this community we need to know more about you than your problems. We need to 'see' you as a person. Starting a bunch of threads that throw the spotlight onto you doesn't help us see you it just turns you into a performance. General interaction accross the board with involvement in different threads would probably allow people to get to know you a little better. It would also help you get to know us a little better.

You're right that some of us have been a little unkind, myself included. But the truth is that was only ever about you for the first day, after that the joke itself became a 'meme'. We are a community, therefore we are subject to trends and fashions, in-jokes and running jokes, factions and fomentation.

This means that if a joke hits, it will likely get picked up on by others and before you know it everyone is making the same joke all over the Cellar. This happens all the time. It's not usually at the expense of a member though.

As to why we would be suspicious of you: there are some people who enjoy causing trouble by presenting a fake persona and persuading others to buy into that persona. Starring Emma was a particularly extreme example of that and she has returned on more than one occasion with a different name and a new identity each time. One of the characteristic features of her approach was to blitz the Cellar with loads of new threads. Another was extensive use of private messages.

This is probably the main reason many of us thought you might be a 'troll', because some aspects of your entrance to the community felt very similar.

Since you are apparently sticking around, maybe let us see a little of you engaging with us on our terms. That is to say, involving yourself in other threads and maybe letting us get a glimpse of your likes and dislikes, your favourite movies, what you might be eating for dinner, or whether you like animals. But not by starting a new thread for these things. The Cellar is full of long running threads, some of whihc have been active for years, in which we get to know odd stuff about each other. It's the inconsequential details and thoughts on politics or the best place to go camping, or how that latest interview went that allow us all to get to know each other.

But like any friendship, these things take time to build. You cannot just magic up instant friendship and comfort with people who are essentially strangers. Nor can you blitz them with every detail and expect that this will suffice. These things take time to build and that's ok. There's fun in the building.

*smiles*

Take a chill pill m'dear. And don't take our teasing to heart. Chances are it's not based on anything you've actually done wrong, but rather that something you've done or said has sparked amusement and set off a 'meme' without you realising.

thank you. spell check not is not wrking. sorry.
Ok, where to begina?? I do not know what 'meme' means. At times, I have seen others post about it. I did not mean to start more 'threads.' the other threads of mine got too long to read, so I wanted to start fressh. that is all. I did not mean to come on too fast as you say. I have posted on other threads, but there is nobody response. none at all...so how does that leave me???

I have ask about this 'emma' person' you speak of. rest assured i am not her. Mr. undertaod has my IP address. It will either present itself as Woodhaven or Jamaica Queens. i live in a rented room on
94th street. anyone is more than free to ask him.

on other threads there is 0 response. and now people have forced me into some typo of competition with 'emma.' i saw that post. why is the need for that??? i do not wish to 'win' anything.

I hope for peace, and a good happy family hear. that is all...
thank you...time for wine...
Pam.

DanaC 04-25-2011 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimhelm (Post 727051)
I appreciate the intentions that you and mortie have, Dana, but why does she have to change to fit in? I think she fits in as is. She's not ruining anyone's day as far as I can tell, and the lulz seems to be never-ending.

I think she's done a fine job of stirring up things here. And they clearly needed stirring.

I say, keep being a basket case, Pam, if that's who you truly are. Don't change a thing.

I'd be more than happy with that if I didn't think she was being upset. The lulz stop being so hearty if we're dealing with real mental illness.


The lass keeps asking why people are being 'mean' to her.

pensive pam 04-25-2011 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimhelm (Post 727051)
I appreciate the intentions that you and mortie have, Dana, but why does she have to change to fit in? I think she fits in as is. She's not ruining anyone's day as far as I can tell, and the lulz seems to be never-ending.

I think she's done a fine job of stirring up things here. And they clearly needed stirring.

I say, keep being a basket case, Pam, if that's who you truly are. Don't change a thing.

I agree now with you. Why must i change?? i could not evenn if i wanted to ... i do not wish to 'strir up' issues here. i respect this site and mr. undertoad. i would never do such. i was on another site, which was not as good as here. this site is the BEST. I am me. a complex pile of cells...like us all. thank you for ur support...Pam.

footfootfoot 04-25-2011 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 727055)
I'd be more than happy with that if I didn't think she was being upset. The lulz stop being so hearty if we're dealing with real mental illness.


The lass keeps asking why people are being 'mean' to her.

because she knows that will elicit a response from you. She is a completely full of shit troll who has your number.

pensive pam 04-25-2011 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 727055)
I'd be more than happy with that if I didn't think she was being upset. The lulz stop being so hearty if we're dealing with real mental illness.


The lass keeps asking why people are being 'mean' to her.

I am mentally ill. i admitted that. everyone is to some extent...and if you d not believe me... then you are sicker than me. no offense. as i do like u. i have stated that. one of my psychiatrist (I have a team of 3) is cheating of his wife. he is sicker for doing that and being medical professional.

I enjoy your posts,
Pam.

DanaC 04-25-2011 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot (Post 727057)
because she knows that will elicit a response from you. She is a completely full of shit troll who has your number.

I was absolutely of that opinion until yesterday. I have now reverted to my earlier position (and my default position) of reserving judgement and working on an assumption that she is genuine. Just safer that way.

pensive pam 04-25-2011 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 727060)
I was absolutely of that opinion until yesterday. I have now reverted to my earlier position (and my default position) of reserving judgement and working on an assumption that she is genuine. Just safer that way.

THANK YOU DANAC!!! i do not understandd what is so hard to believe. i will be validated on here. i want to share somtihng with you. I will go first. I chose my user name for 2 reasons. My real name is Pam. One of my psychiatrist said I am always 'pensive.' I had to look that word up. and it describes me perfect!! so i choose that name. i never saw that word before i was told of it...!!!
would you like to share anything back with me??
Love,
Pam.

jimhelm 04-25-2011 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot (Post 727057)
because she knows that will elicit a response from you. She is a completely full of shit troll who has your number.

I like being rick rolled, too.

footfootfoot 04-25-2011 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimhelm (Post 727064)
I like being rick rolled, too.

Gleek plick

footfootfoot 04-25-2011 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 727060)
I was absolutely of that opinion until yesterday. I have now reverted to my earlier position (and my default position) of reserving judgement and working on an assumption that she is genuine. Just safer that way.

what happened yesterday? Did she prove she was deaf and her boyfriend pushed her around? I'm asking since I've put her on ignore since day one.

pensive pam 04-25-2011 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot (Post 727070)
what happened yesterday? Did she prove she was deaf and her boyfriend pushed her around?

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO know what I am like??? (spell check is back on...my helper is here.) Watch this video at 2:54- 2:57 seconds. that is how i feel...for the most part...i am like the girl in the video emotionally. but no i do not look like her. but her facial expression is the same for those 4 minutes of video.

http://youtu.be/5hiv5bKdKX8

Now leave me alone,
Pam.

jimhelm 04-25-2011 07:38 PM




DanaC 04-25-2011 07:44 PM

lol

pensive pam 04-25-2011 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 727077)
lol

So you laugh at my video??? I no longer have a crush on you. I am moving on to Morethanpretty...

take care,
Pam.

adn p.s. don't anyone ever call me 'pamela' or 'pammy.'

monster 04-25-2011 07:52 PM

Did you go to regular school, Pam?

DanaC 04-25-2011 07:53 PM

Actually I was laughing at Jim.

pensive pam 04-25-2011 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 727084)
Actually I was laughing at Jim.

Ok, on my profile, i have posted my pic. it is black and white, and a bit touche up to conceal who true identity. not know much about photos and paitings, but it is a cross between the two. now you can see me...if youwish... i always prefer black & white photos...

Pam.

monster 04-25-2011 07:58 PM

what a load of bollocks.

pensive pam 04-25-2011 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster (Post 727090)
what a load of bollocks.

you do not know much about photos, or how to make them seem like they were taken long ago. you sir, are a moron...

Dick,
Pam.

morethanpretty 04-25-2011 08:02 PM

Pam,
I never said "quit" and that is not what I mean or want you to do. I very seriously want you to take a break. Only for a bit. A lot of us here have our own mental issues, but to varying degrees. Yours seems more severe at this time. I am not asking you to change who you are essentially, but none of us are perfect the way we are. I want you to get healthier. Online interactions are difficult, they can cause mental stress. An issue you are struggling with. This is not a judgement against your character, this is just an observation you yourself told us about. Move back to your parents, keep up with therapy and medicine, DO NOT DRINK, take a break from online socializing and build up to it slowly when you're more prepared for it mentally. You are welcome in this forum, but at this time, we are not healthy for you. Your reaction to Dana's "lol" comment just recently should show you that we are not.

monster 04-25-2011 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pensive pam (Post 727092)
you do not know much about photos, or how to make them seem like they were taken long ago. you sir, are a moron...

Dick,
Pam.

it's spelled moran.

yours dickishly
shirley

Big Sarge 04-25-2011 08:08 PM

Fight - Fight - Fight!! Pammy vs Monnie.

monster 04-25-2011 08:09 PM

DON'T CALL HER PAMMY

she doesn't like it.

pensive pam 04-25-2011 08:10 PM

:yeldead:
Quote:

Originally Posted by morethanpretty (Post 727093)
Pam,
I never said "quit" and that is not what I mean or want you to do. I very seriously want you to take a break. Only for a bit. A lot of us here have our own mental issues, but to varying degrees. Yours seems more severe at this time. I am not asking you to change who you are essentially, but none of us are perfect the way we are. I want you to get healthier. Online interactions are difficult, they can cause mental stress. An issue you are struggling with. This is not a judgement against your character, this is just an observation you yourself told us about. Move back to your parents, keep up with therapy and medicine, DO NOT DRINK, take a break from online socializing and build up to it slowly when you're more prepared for it mentally. You are welcome in this forum, but at this time, we are not healthy for you. Your reaction to Dana's "lol" comment just recently should show you that we are not.

I will take a break starting tomorrow. but once i start on here, i can not stop till sleepy time. so i will do best not to post tomorrow. would that be Ok?? you have been sweet. i want to ask you something, but do not want u to be offeneded. and perhaps, it is not my business...and i do not wish to be 'banned'... oh god...how do i ask?

Pam.

monster 04-25-2011 08:17 PM

She wants to have your babies, mort.

pensive pam 04-25-2011 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sarge (Post 727096)
Fight - Fight - Fight!! Pammy vs Monnie.

no fighting. 'monster' is from michigan. i feel sorry for him. so sad...is it not???

Pam.

monster 04-25-2011 08:28 PM

It is so sad. We still have six feet of snow and I cannot get to the front door to let my helpers in, so we have not eaten for months. Yesterday, we had to slaughter the last cat. But now I have warm mittens.


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