Potential sub looking for guidance
 

Hello :) my name is Katie and I'm 17 years old. I understand that many people think that is too young for me to start learning about the submissive lifestyle but I am desperate to learn more about D/s. Therefore, I am very interested in speaking further with those involved in the lifestyle (particularly dominant men). Eventually I would love to establish a 'relationship' (for want of a better word) where I can surrender control to a dominant on some daily activites (e.g. clothes I wear, food I eat etc.). At my age I am not interested in a sexual D/s relationship either online or in person but I would love to learn more about what that entails. I would also love to learn about positions and other things that Dominants enjoy. I will not be willing to give out any nude pictures of myself, but I will take pictures of mself performing certain commands as proof if the Dominant wishes. However, for personal privacy I will not be showing my face in these pictures. I am also happy to carry out punishments as the Dominant believes I need them. Really I am just looking for a strong man to guide me into the submissive mindset. Thank you for reading (and possibly responding) to this post.

One question.
A genuine one.

What drew you to this site, and to make this your first post in a totally new thread?

Given how open you've been, I don't think it's too personal a question.

cough/bullshit/cough.
Never met a 17 year old that wrote that well.
But hey - welcome and all that.

Navigation
Light does not penetrate very far into the ocean, so submarines must navigate through the water virtually blind. However, submarines are equipped with navigational charts and sophisticated navigational equipment. When on the surface, a sophisticated global positioning system (GPS) accurately determines latitude and longitude, but this system cannot work when the submarine is submerged. Underwater, the submarine uses inertial guidance systems (electric, mechanical) that keep track of the ship's motion from a fixed starting point by using gyroscopes. The inertial guidance systems are accurate to 150 hours of operation and must be realigned by other surface-dependent navigational systems (GPS, radio, radar, satellite). With these systems onboard, a submarine can be accurately navigated and be within a hundred feet of its intended course.

http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/...ar-station.jpg
Photo courtesy U.S. Department of Defense
Sonar station onboard the USS La Jolla nuclear-powered attack submarine

To locate a target, a submarine uses active and passive SONAR (sound navigation and ranging). Active sonar emits pulses of sound waves that travel through the water, reflect off the target and return to the ship. By knowing the speed of sound in water and the time for the sound wave to travel to the target and back, the computers can quickly calculate distance between the submarine and the target. Whales, dolphins and bats use the same technique for locating prey (echolocation). Passive sonar involves listening to sounds generated by the target. Sonar systems can also be used to realign inertial navigation systems by identifying known ocean floor features .

@Sundae
No that's fine :) I found this forum when i typed 'dom sub forum' into google :) this was one of the first sites to come up.

@classicman
Not sure whether to take your comment as a compliment or be offended... I will go for compliment I think :) I assure you I am not lying about my age (perhaps I am just very well read!). I have had terrible difficulty getting anyone to take me seriously because of my age so if I were older, believe me I'd say so. If anything it's been tempting for me to lie and say I am older!

@footfootfoot
Thank you for your completely irrelevant comment ;)

foot was offering help with submarine guidance. he's very punny.

For sure, it is #2 for the search words. Who woulda thought.

Well we talk about everything here as this is a forum about everything, welcome.

hehe I get it now :D Wow he must have a lot of spare time...

Hello! I look forward to exploring these forums further!

:stop:

So a newbie who happens to be jailbait pops up with their first post asking about dom/sub, states they won't post pictures, but wants to know about positions???

:redcard:

this is a platonic sub.

she just wants to be friends.

I'm curious at the motivation of this person. assuming, for now that they are legit.

K, was you father very dominant? did you lose him recently?

Ok I'm not sure I understand your post, but I'd like to try and answer anyway. As far as I am aware I'm not 'jailbait'. I'm 17 and in the UK (where I am from) this makes me legal. Nevertheless, I did clearly state in my post that I am not looking for a sexual relationship so that seems irrelevant. All I am looking for is someone to help me learn more about the lifestyle. I'm not sure what you find wrong with me refusing to give out nude pictures of myself or about my desire to know more about the lifestyle (i.e. positions)?

Not for nothing but subs are known for their conning towers

OK, maybe the entire cellar could be your dom. That woudl maybe be a first for all of us and the internet.

We'd have to agree on ground rules.

Then you noticed this part as well ...
"15 posts - 12 authors - Last post: Oct 26, 2006"
We haven't discussed that in almost 5 YEARS.
yep, we are on the cutting edge of the Dom/sub issue.... :eyebrow:

ok Jim - Quiz time ...

Hi jimhelm :) Glad you understood my post :D Also, thanks for not immediately discrediting me as troll/attention-seeker/whatever :)

To be honest, I'm not really sure about my motivation it sort of feels like being submissive is something that has always been a part of me although it's not until I got older that I learnt what it meant. I've always been quite sensitive and caring for others etc. it just feels natural to me. As for my father, as far as I'm aware he's not a dominant and my parents are still together. In fact, they both have pretty strong personalities which can lead to a lot of heated arguments over little things. Sometimes I think that if one of them just stepped down from the argument everything would be much better! Maybe that has something to do with it... :p:

Your powers of wit are beyond me I'm afraid :S I'm sure that shows my age...

Nope I'm sorry I didn't notice that. Although I am beginning to fell like this was the wrong place to post :/ Sorry-- just trying desperately to get some advice...

well, you may not meet many experts on that culture, but there are some good people here, and good times to be had.

now, sit up straight, and start parting your hair down the middle.

I am happy to take you at face value and accept you are who you say you are.
Unfortunately I can't help you with the questions you are asking, and I doubt anyone here can either.

All I can suggest is that you continue your Google search, but when you find what you think is an appropriate forum, read, read and read again to make sure. At 17 you really don't want to open yourself up to strangers who might not understand your desires. At the very least you will be mocked, at the worst you could meet the wrong type of dom. And there wil be plenty of smartarses either way.

Good luck.

Thank you :) I know there are good people here as some (like yourself) have taken the time to talk to me and offer me the little advice they can. Thank you!

Thank you for your vote of confidence and your advice :) I realise now that this forum is not quite what I thought it was! I shall keep looking through google (and on this thread, just in case ;)) and shall keep your wise words in my mind. I know it is hard because of my age but I know I need this lifestyle and will not give up! No matter how many smartarses I come along!

Do you know Emma?
Are you related to an Emma?
Have you ever heard of Emma?
Has anyone named Emma ever contacted you?

I can't even imagine the point of your post however I do know of a couple of people called Emma-- it is a rather common name. Not realted to one though.

And, then again, you may...:spank::whip:

Take a picture of yourself, spatula in one hand, and a handful of your ass in the other.

I see your emoticons and I raise you...

Point - KayKatiekay

A new motto..."The Cellar. First in wit. Second only to www.the-pork.com/Forum41-1.aspx in talk about BSDM."

No sub for you!

Come back, one year!

Sub nazi. :)

Katie -

Check out http://www.scarleteen.com/

Go down to the bottom of the page and type BDSM into the search box - you'll get some information from that point on. Scarleteen is a well known and well respected site that obviously caters to a younger population, and most importantly offers a sex positive outlook.

Good luck.

Is there any subject that a dwellar can't give guidance in?

I couldn't say...

Good advice, Rrrraven.

kaykatiekay--I also love Scarleteen, and found this gem there recently. Although it does not pertain exclusively to D/s interactions, it is absolutely good advice nonetheless. Good for you to follow and good for you to watch others follow, in fact, moreso the latter than the former.

Driver's Ed for the Sexual Superhighway: Navigating Consent

Kaykatiekay. Nice to meetcha. Hope you find a good bdsm forum that meets your needs.

Fuck me, I wish I'd had teh interwebz when i was 17!

Also, I kind of hope you check by here from time to time too. You seem a nice lass to me. And we can always use another Brit chick around here to keep these damn Merkins on their toes :)

Thanks for that! There are some interesting links for me to read there. Cheers! :D

Scarleteen definitely looks like a very useful site! Thanks for the article. Although I'm not in/looking for a sexual relationship at the moment it's definitely important stuff! Thank you :)

Hi DanaC :) nice to meet a fellow Brit! Haha I'll definitely stay posting here and look at some of the other threads too. I'm meant to be studing for my ASs but I'm so good at procrastinating! :D

*chuckles*

Well, if there's one thing we dwellars do well it's procrastinate :p In fact even as I speak the bottom bar on my desktop contains three significant pieces of work which I am supposedly working on.

What subjects you doing in your ASs?*



(* AS is a qualification which most youngsters get around the age of 17/18 at college or sixth form often as a precursor to university study)



[eta] Nm just saw your location :p

Good to know I'm in fine company then! I'm doing Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Maths and RS. Had my maths exam this morning but it didn't go too well :(

Ack. I think I'd probably drown in those subjects very fast lol

Hopefully you've not done too bad in your maths. Are these your final exams or do you have another year?

Hehe that's what all my friends think too! I bet you're one of these weird people who like English and History :eek: Just kidding! :D

Hopefully. And there are two more maths papers to go (harder though) so I might be able to do better on those (if I actually manage to stop procrastinating and revise that is!) :)

I still have another year to go after this. Uggghh kill me now!

*laughs*

Guilty as charged, I'm afraid. In middle of a History PhD.

That year will fly. If you're planning on further study, let me assure you that what you do as an undergraduate is waaaaaay more interesting than what you do at AS level.

:) Wow! A PhD, that's impressive! Good luck with it all! Doing history at GCSE last year was enough for me!

Yeah I feel like this year has gone so fast too-- there's no way it should be exam time already! I'm sure I'll enjoy undergraduate more. The course I want to do is 6 years and £9,000 a year, so I bloody well hope so! :D

She's not a product of American schools.

Ouch.

The true statements are the ones that hurt the most.

I was going to mention our wunderkind Ibram. But then remembered he was schooled overseas at the time we met him.

The people you really want to know here are inclined towards history and English.

Just kidding! :D
I mean Brianna and Infinite Monkey and me of course.

Where are you hoping to go to Uni and what is the course?

Haha :D The forum's full of crazy people who like English and History :eek: Now I have to stay not only for the Brits but for the scientists too!

Glad to have met one of the 'Three People Worth Knowing' :) I feel like I'm getting in with the It Crowd :D

I really want to study medicine but my grades this year will decide what Unis I chose for my options. I really like Imperial College London, UCL, Brighton & Sussex. Maybe Southhampton too and Cambridge is always nice to dream about :p: I did go through a phase of wanting to go study in the US but then I found out I'd have to do another degree first and the fees made our £9,000 a year look cheap!

:sulks:

scuse me, but I happen to be a product of American schools... and I can tell you that Math is singular! Maths? bugger off.

lulz - was thinking the same thing as I got to your post...

*Ahem*
I would like to point out that I have been a very good writer long before I was 17 and that not only am I the product of an American school, I was the product a Texan school. My parents deserve the most credit for my success. My mom taught me to read and pushed me to get the best grades at all times because she knew I was capable of them. I think parents should take more responsibility for their children's education and not expect the school to be completely responsible. This attitude that "the school is at fault" pisses me off a bit, the teachers are not there to raise your kids and instill them with the self reliability and curiosity it takes to learn. My mother was not highly educated herself, she got her GED (equivalent of a high school diploma) after I was born. Her mother had not even been able to complete middle school. Despite those obstacles, my grandma instilled in my mom the importance of learning and my mom instilled that value in me.
:rant:


Back to the subject of this thread:
Why do we always get female subs? Where are the men subs?
Kay, do be cautious about who you trust even if there is not supposed to be any sex involved. Also, maybe see a counselor. I'm not trying to be insulting, but from my personal experience I have not met a sub who was emotionally/mentally stable. I might just know the wrong subs, but from that experience, you might benefit from talking to a professional and exploring the reason why you're a sub. I don't mean to suggest that you need to change, but I am just saying that you are young and you might benefit from some professional insight. If you're already seeing a counselor, I'll just STFU.


****Disclaimer: Any spelling or grammatical mistakes in this post that may discredit my claim at being a decent writer were made under the influence of pain killers and are therefor not subject to scrutiny. I reserve the right to change/edit/add/retract any statement I have made at a later date without warning.****

That is sad. I was writing college level essays at 17. My writing skills have actually declined with age and not being in a setting where they are required.

Some 17 year olds are IN college by that time,,,,,or even further along

Allright, time for some fun and a bit of a coming out.

I am what is considered by some as a Dominant.

Well, there are male subs, but they are quite rare at least from an heterosexual point of view. I think it's because we're wired that way both physically and culturally. Don't get me wrong : I'm for the equality between men and women. It's just the way we are.

That is the main point : TRUST. I cannot stress it enough. Kay, the kind of relationship you're looking for is NOT for casual sex. You have to know your partner literaly inside out. And it goes both way.

In my own case, I'm not currently involved with anyone. That's because when I encounter a woman that may become my partner, I put everything on the table. Otherwise, it's like any other sexual relationship. It may go on for some time

I consider a D/s relationship as something that has to stay behind the bedroom door. In everyday life, my partner would do as every independant woman should do : make her own decisions.

Another important point : SAFETY. If you ever decide to become involved with someone, start to experiment lightly. Especially if the Dominant hasn't much experience. There may be times you'll put your very LIFE in his hands.

So, no bullwhip on the first session.

I've met with female subs that were very happy in their life (married and with children). Submission was only a side of their private life. An itch they sometimes wanted to scratch.

I've also met some that were a bit askew because they had a very bad image of themselves, not necessarily coming from their D/s relation.

I've never met with a true sex slave.

No ménage à trois sub sandwich for you.

Come back next year.

Well, that's not what floats my boat. I'm a bit selfish : I don't share.

Coming out? OK, I admit, I'm into subtext in a big way....

I like a good game of dominoes.

I like this newb. She knows both kinds of maths, not just the simple kind that they teach Americans. :p I am mildly amused that her current user title is "lead subordinate". I am concerned that we may need to develop a short form of her name, and the initials are a bit dodgy.

maybe we could use the initials backwards?

I think that suggesting someone might need counseling to explore why they identify as a sub is like telling someone they're not okay for something as basic as sexual orientation. Different is not deviant.

I also think that there tends to be some misinformation outside of the D/s world as to who actually has the *power* in a D/s relationship. Most subs I know are extremely dominant in their professional lives/family lives and choose to submit in their sexual lives. One could argue that the sub has all the power, or even better that a D/s relationship is all about power exchange. Negotiation is optimal in D/s relationships, if you can't negotiate your relationship, your limits, then there is no D/s relationship.

Just my .02

Personally, I think the fact that this lass is seeking further information and looking for safe ways to explore her inclinations (along with being quite clearly comfortable with the vocabulary of this sexual subculture) shows that she is coming at this from a self-aware and careful angle. To me that shows someone with a healthy mind, not the reverse.

No point for you!!! Not only did you not take said picture, as you were explicitly instructed to do, you said no. That is strictly forbidden. All sorts of things will come out of your mouth in my dungeon, but, "no" better not be one of them. Not when the flail is in my hand. You have no idea of the punishment you are in for now. But, as you demonstrate, you cannot follow simple instructions, so the punishment you willingly seek will not be forthcoming. Suffer.

If you want a tiny, infinitesimal smidgen of redemption, you may take a picture of yourself with a paper bag over your head while smearing sweet pickle relish all over a white t-shirt you are wearing. Outside.

This is your final chance.

remember folks, we only have three rules here.

Don't be insufferably annoying.

Don't try to break the board.

Don't do anything illegal.

She's stated she's under 18.

No go. Not even if you just think you're being funny.

I, for one, do not wish to have to explain anything to Chris Hansen, or know anyone who does.