filthy's errr um...
 

true, but that's not what i want. let alone her. she's got this hang up on communication. i believe in it, so does she. however, she thinks that i should be the one to initiate it. we just talked for a couple hours on this. her premise is that i have to ask her what's going on with this or that. my premise is why can't you just come out and say what's on your mind? i have to ask? so basically if i don't ask then i don't get anything. i talk about work. both jobs. i hardly have a life right now from working almost 70 hours a week. yeah, all i have to talk about is work or maybe something i read in the paper. she has things going on in her life as well. roommate issues. but i found out today that if i don't ask her? she's not volunteering the info because she feels i'm not interested. really? ugh. women.

stupid women!


really man, sorry for you. sounds like a bitch to me.

Irony in bold. lol

Sounds Hi Maint to me

needs to be a two-way street

What everyone here says. Both parties have to work on communication, IMHO. It sounds as though she thinks that you have to do the work of both parties. :headshake

Run, don't walk, in the other direction.

Come on plthijinx, you are probably working too much for most girls wanting a relationship...you know? You can't spare much of your time or energy right now and that's what it takes a lot of. At least this one probably does.

Sorry, but I'm going to be unpopular and play a little Devil's Advocate here.

Women are constantly given the stereotype of talking too much, and specifically talking about things that the men in their lives couldn't give a crap about. It should not be surprising when someone tries to avoid being "that woman," by seeking input from the guy on what he's actually interested in hearing about.

One of the cardinal rules of being a good conversationalist is to ask the other person about themselves.

Obviously there's a line in there somewhere, between wanting some normal amount of attention from the relationship and being high-maintenance and "all about me," and I have no idea of the specifics of your relationship and where your (ex)girlfriend may actually fall on that spectrum. I'm just saying, it's not inherently bad for her to have refrained from yammering about every detail of her life when you haven't asked.

Breaking up on Facebook first is definitely no good, though.

I <3 the Clod.

thanks for everyone's input and limey? you made me :blush: ! anyway, gave it a lot of thought today at the day job. in between being jolted by 120v because of someone not wiring an extension chord right, and smashing my thumb tightening bolts on handrail bases, stabbing myself not once, but twice in the palm with a screwdriver and finally getting copper wire strand splinters in my fingers, i realized, yeah, she's right. y'all don't know the whole story and when i typed up the post i still had my defenses up. we have not talked about her very much. us time, as she puts it. our conversation, not someone else's. that's important to both sides.

oh, and i was misinformed. if i'd of looked closer i would have seen that she changed the status from in a relationship to it's complicated. pfft! i never knew that was an option! anyway. there you have it. taking a step back and realizing that, yeah, she's right.

night night all. it's oh:31 and the alarm goes off at ohhh5:15.

p.s. - not around too much and miss you guys!

filtheh

It's a bit silly really. Are they ever not complicated? hell even being single is usually complicated.

Being married is always complicated.

Amen, brutha!

This is what I was thinking when I read the OP. Maybe all she wants is for you to say, "so how was your day dear?"?

i ask that religiously. not for idle convo either. i ask because i care. growing pains in a relationship i think? i dunno. personally, my day sucked and i'm thankful it's bed time. g'night all.

I know it's good to be employed an all that, but is there any chance you could ease off on the work thang, philthy? Might give you more time for you, ya know?

You better ask me how my fucking day went, or there will be hell to pay.

Um, I'm sorry. How was your day?

Oh, like YOU care. You didn't ask me until I told you to ask me so that means you don't really give a shit how my day was. Don't placate me.

What do you want from me, what do you want me to do?

I want you to CARE. I just want you to CARE.

I DO care! We don't seem to be communicating very well, I guess.

I keep TRYING to tell you HOW to communicate with me and you keep failing.

But, but, but...you said earlier not to communicate with you if you told me how to communicate with you?! OMG I'm so confused. Should it be this hard?

So, now it's too HARD? TOO HARD?

--------
Meh. Hot potato. Drop.

*picks up potato and looks down*
But THAT'S hard!

Oh.

*tosses potato to next person

Hey, I was thinking about my post and what am I? Some paragon of relationship skills? Nope.

Me and my bad sense of humor.

If you can work it out and it's what you want, you should do that. If it doesn't fit 'you' then move on. But as Clodfobble et al said there is work to be done in a (in any) relationship. The hard part is confusing the work with abnormal adjustments. Mileage will always vary when two different individuals are involved.

You are a good guy. You deserve someone good for you, whatever that is.

:)

Ty, hun!

I saw it! And i wadnt tawkn bout no tater bein hard neither! [/redneck] :D

Made me laugh because that's exactly what we had for school dinner yesterday.
Hot, hard potatoes.

I know, because I help out at the beginning of lunch - initially for Tiger, but later for Tennant (currently Mum-free due to cancer treatment). I tried to mash butter into his jacket pot, then mash the cheese on top. I got there eventually. Then all the other kids on the table (despite being more cutlery-aware) want the same help.

Filthy if you love her you will work out your own approach. And then decide if she is worth it. My ex husband bent over backwards to meet my every requirement (as Dad does to Mum, as Grandad did to Nanny). It didn't help us in the end. The Evil Ex simply dictated and I followed - it was the flip side and certainly wasn't a foundation for anything other than the on-off rollercoaster ride we had.

It might not be that you're wrong or she's wrong - it's just whether you mesh well enough for compromise to be worth it. If either one of you is constantly giving too much ground you will be unhappy.

I second this. House, new truck, two dogs, career suicide. I'm all out of ground.

Keep your ground plthijinxs.

70 hours a week is a big haul and after a 2 hour conversation about it, seems things should have been understood by both parties. She is free to walk and apparently did so I don't see a problem here.... Just saying.

Sounds like a dream date. :D

lol merc!

well that was a fun relationship. maybe one day.......one will last.

nothing to be sorry about. we did have some fun, only we didn't click. happens. *shrug*