I bailed out my guitarist today
 

I bailed out my guitarist today.

As I write that sentence, I realize that the phrase "I bailed out my guitarist" may be one of the most common phrases in the English language.

Not really bailed out, so much as moved the money he needed to pay his fine from its source, to the family court offices.

So I go to the family court offices and give them the money for the fine, and they give me a receipt for the money and a ticket for him. An officer of the court comes down to explain what I'm to do next.

"Do you know how to get to the jail?"

"Uh.... mail fraud?"

So I have to drive a few miles away to where the actual prisoners are kept, to find that my guitarist will not be immediately released into my recognizance or whatever. I was hoping I could just pick him up, like a coat check, here's the ticket, OK here's your guitarist. Wait a minute. This is not my guitarist. Oh, you're right, you have ticket 84 and I've given you number 85. Here you are sir, number 84. Yes, this is my guitarist, thank you.

And then I could drive him back to his place, and we could joke about it along the way, and I could explain that killing his ex-wife would just be counter-productive and they would know it was you immediately.

But instead, the coat check lady explained that they were still booking him, and that it could take another 3 hours. I asked whether she could relay my phone number to him, in case he has no other way home. She explained that messaging is not a service they provide at the jail.

hahaha...that was a good one.

co'mon... .you're Jake and Elwood aren't ya?


http://file.vustv.com/ARgsADGFxgBAO.jpg

Funny stuff UT, sorta.

Have you had him delivered yet?
Take him to Griff's for breakfast.

I was in jail for about 4 hours (but I was really wasted so I just napped) but it DID suck as I recall. First of all, they took all my jewelry! And, the booking people were kinda snarky. And the "girls" in the holding tank were commenting on how High I was (and I was...it was all very dreamy, like being underwater...but I remember the admiring looks. No doubt they were wishing they were as high).

I was bailed out as soon as possible - and it still took four hours.

what, if I may be so crude, did your guitarist do, exactly, to land him in the arms of the state? :jail:

You're a good band mate, UT. And your story was quite funny, despite whatever may have happened to your guitarist to put him in such a state.

Diplomacy.

Clodfobble haz it.

My guess is that he was late on a payment to his ex-wife.

Do I win the grand prize?

Winner winner sheen dinner

Mistake #1, marry a crazy chick. They all seem hot and sexy when they are in their 20s. Men in their 20s make the mistake of hooking up with crazy chicks; women in the 20s make the mistake of hooking up with assholes.

Mistake #2, he missed a support payment while unemployed.

Mistake #3, he went to a hearing on this missed payment without documentation that he had been making payments all along. The insane ex told the judge he had *never* made a payment and turned on the waterworks. The judge said now it's $1000 or 60 days. He did not have $1000 immediately on hand.

When I say crazy and/or insane, I mean she is permanently one inch off of losing it, and has been hospitalized in the past for being a danger to herself and others. Since the divorce, she has been fired and was arrested for shoplifting. Arrested means she's a serial offender as they do not arrest people who have done it once or twice.

Since the divorce, her personal project is making my guitarist's life a living hell, and using every resource at hand to do it. She appears to have no concern that her children are innocent bystanders getting hit with debris. For example 60 days in jail would result in no income or payments at all for her children, but this was not in her line of thought. It is a fuck.

Women like that make me want to barf. :mad2:

But for levity:

Who goes to jail
And asks UT for bail
Baby it's the guitar man.
Who pays the ex
Cause he once wanted sex
Baby it's the guitar man

:lol: that will be sung at our next rehearsal.

Yay! :jig:

Oh, that just sucks, UT.

I was crazy in my 20's and I hooked up with (sort of) assholes in their 20's BUT - the kids always, always, always, came before any of our craziness. always.

This woman is using her energy all wrong - but I don't have to tell you that.

And it does rather ask the question - HOW is a jailed person supposed to support anyone at all? Don't throw them in jail, ffs, get them to a job!

PS - really nice song, IM. Very nice.

Some women are born cunts.
I think IM has a job writing songs for your band UT :)

Some everyones are born cunts.
BIRTH CONTROL, PEOPLE!

But hey, I was sucked into a relationship like a tornado, so I'm no-one to talk.
Didn't squeeze out any babies but lost years of my life and plenty of money to it.

Bloody good for the gitar-man that he's doing what's right by his childers.
Shame they'll be 50% crazy via genetics.
Tell him next time he considers it, slam it in a wardrobe door until he rememberes how much it can hurt.

And ironically enough, you have the beginnings of a great blues song.

I bailed out my guitarist today?

That's right up there with "I was drunk the day my Mama got out of prison..."

I bailed out my guitarist today today
To see if I still feel ...

Here's one your guitarist may want to add to the set list:

Good thing it was the guitarist. If it had been the bass player, you'd never get paid back.

[quote=Brianna;748049]I was crazy in my 20's and I hooked up with (sort of) assholes in their 20's BUT - the kids always, always, always, came before any of our craziness. always /QUOTE]

I bet those were some wild times for you in the early 60s.

sounds eerily familiar.

A day in the life...

Bad luck UT.

update, merely because you enjoy the drama:

Guitarist's crazy ex tried to kill herself last weekend. So while she's hospitalized...

The kids went to her sister's house. (Her crazy sister, as these things do follow in families, whether shitty nurture or shitty nature.)

Crazy sister walked in on her daughter and guitarist's daughter smoking weed in her living room, and got violent with them, throwing guitarist's (17 year old) daughter across the room.

As the girls did not know exactly how to respond to this threatening situation, they called the cops.

When the cops arrived, they discovered that crazy sister had in fact hit the kids, and moreover was drunk at 4pm on a Thursday. When they decided to take her in, she minorly punched one of the cops in the face.

She was hauled off and put in a cell, where for two hours she screamed and yelled, and then she attempted to kill herself by hanging herself with her pants.

While the cops were stopping her from doing this, she hit one of them across the face and dragged her nails and cut him.

So now tomorrow crazy sister will face her hearing for multiple assault charges, assaulting the kids and then assaulting the cop.

http://www.pottsmerc.com/articles/20...ewmode=default

::speechless::

poor.... poor... well anyone who has to deal with her really. poor kids.

Good grief! So, where are the kids now that their Mom is in the hospital and their aunt is in jail? (I was high on the day my Auntie got out of prison...)

I don't know, I didn't get that detail. Guitarist can't have the kids because he's stuck in a room in a boarding house. Crazy sister's husband seemed a decent guy when I met him, so maybe they are still there.

Crazy sister's husband is a resource for the band, because he repairs amps in his spare time.

Jeeezus.

Every time a cop is condescending and suspicious towards me, I have to try to remind myself that they deal with people like that most of the time...

Guitarist needs to step up some. Sure, gonna be hard, but.....

Oh That SUUUCKS !!

What's the situation with guitarist's parents?

Guitarist's dad is a cop, with a genuine Cop Personality(TM), who physically threatens guitarist from time to time for sport although he is too old to actually do anything. Due to his abusive Cop Personality as a father, guitarist's brother was a relentless heroin addict until he literally messed up his arm shooting it up, to the point where it doesn't operate.

Mom is alive but I don't know her situation. Both are in Ohio.

Tcha, that says it all dude.

Don't it though?!?

:)

Depends on whether guitarist has a reasonably well-paying day job. Otherwise the following joke applies:

Three guys drinking at a bar. Two guys look pretty happy, the third not so much.

First guy says, "I'm doing ok. I pulled in a quarter of a mill last year. I'm a dentist."

Second guy says, "Not bad. I pulled in half a mill last year. I'm a lawyer."

The third guy hangs his head and says, "I only made 10 grand last year."

The lawyer says, "That's too bad. What's the name of your band?"

Those poor kids. At least at 17 one was old enough to register that it was time to call the cops. She'd do better fully independent, IMHO, pot or no pot.

Cops divide their time between dealing with criminals, dealing with victims, dealing with bureaucracy and dealing with lawyers.

Then there are the car smashes, vomiting drunks, domestic arguments, indignant citizens, the ACLU and people who actually try to kill them.

Sarge ... thanks for this service, too.

That sucks. The kids really have no support.

Well, the good part of this story is over and done with, but it's worth documenting the end of it, I guess.

The source of the money for guitarist's fine payment/bailout was our lead singer's pawn shop, and it was not a small amount.

But it made things deteriorate, because either guitarist didn't hold up to his end of the deal, or there was confusion over what the deal was, until things got weird. So this has actually ended the band, as singer will not work with guitarist any longer.

Since it didn't seem to be going anywhere anyway, no hard feelings. Singer and I will now try to develop a new band.

Sadness.

And hope.

I thought the singer wouldn't be able to continue performing because he was managing another band. No?

Ah, I forget what's in other threads!

Singer wanted to branch out and do wedding gigs and make money, but that never came together. He then was briefly interested in putting a wedding gig band together from scratch, but that's a lot of effort for what might not really pay off. (there are expensive weddings that pay big money, but how to sell to them? the eternal problem)

But singer knows another guitarist who is really good, and a keyboard player who comes with, so he's trolling for a good drummer right now. Then we just jam once to see if it feels good to everybody.

You don't sell to weddings, you sell to wedding planners.

And you have a good rendition of The Chicken Dance.

Yeah, bridal shows should be happening right about now too! See if you can get a table in one.

And you sell to wedding venues, too ...

Think you'll get the steady gig at RP McMurphy's?

I dunno, we may be too old and fat for that particular venue!

Never!

There's a bar named after the charmingly manipulative criminal from One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest? You are kidding me.

More than one, apparently. One is right across from the MacDade Mall.

http://rpmcmurphysbar.com/

Been there. ;)

In the Cuckoo's Nest? That's a surprise.:rolleyes:;)