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-   -   I bailed out my guitarist today (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=25601)

Undertoad 08-02-2011 01:42 AM

I bailed out my guitarist today
 
I bailed out my guitarist today.

As I write that sentence, I realize that the phrase "I bailed out my guitarist" may be one of the most common phrases in the English language.

Not really bailed out, so much as moved the money he needed to pay his fine from its source, to the family court offices.

So I go to the family court offices and give them the money for the fine, and they give me a receipt for the money and a ticket for him. An officer of the court comes down to explain what I'm to do next.

"Do you know how to get to the jail?"

"Uh.... mail fraud?"

So I have to drive a few miles away to where the actual prisoners are kept, to find that my guitarist will not be immediately released into my recognizance or whatever. I was hoping I could just pick him up, like a coat check, here's the ticket, OK here's your guitarist. Wait a minute. This is not my guitarist. Oh, you're right, you have ticket 84 and I've given you number 85. Here you are sir, number 84. Yes, this is my guitarist, thank you.

And then I could drive him back to his place, and we could joke about it along the way, and I could explain that killing his ex-wife would just be counter-productive and they would know it was you immediately.

But instead, the coat check lady explained that they were still booking him, and that it could take another 3 hours. I asked whether she could relay my phone number to him, in case he has no other way home. She explained that messaging is not a service they provide at the jail.

Aliantha 08-02-2011 02:04 AM

Quote:

She explained that messaging is not a service they provide at the jail.
hahaha...that was a good one.

grynch 08-02-2011 02:08 AM

co'mon... .you're Jake and Elwood aren't ya?


http://file.vustv.com/ARgsADGFxgBAO.jpg

Griff 08-02-2011 05:44 AM

Funny stuff UT, sorta.

Sundae 08-02-2011 05:52 AM

Have you had him delivered yet?
Take him to Griff's for breakfast.

Trilby 08-02-2011 06:07 AM

I was in jail for about 4 hours (but I was really wasted so I just napped) but it DID suck as I recall. First of all, they took all my jewelry! And, the booking people were kinda snarky. And the "girls" in the holding tank were commenting on how High I was (and I was...it was all very dreamy, like being underwater...but I remember the admiring looks. No doubt they were wishing they were as high).

I was bailed out as soon as possible - and it still took four hours.

what, if I may be so crude, did your guitarist do, exactly, to land him in the arms of the state? :jail:

Clodfobble 08-02-2011 09:59 AM

You're a good band mate, UT. And your story was quite funny, despite whatever may have happened to your guitarist to put him in such a state.

Trilby 08-02-2011 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble (Post 748010)
...despite whatever may have happened to your guitarist to put him in such a state.

Diplomacy.

Clodfobble haz it.

Spexxvet 08-02-2011 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna (Post 747946)
what, if I may be so crude, did your guitarist do, exactly, to land him in the arms of the state? :jail:

My guess is that he was late on a payment to his ex-wife.

Do I win the grand prize?

Undertoad 08-02-2011 11:24 AM

Winner winner sheen dinner

Mistake #1, marry a crazy chick. They all seem hot and sexy when they are in their 20s. Men in their 20s make the mistake of hooking up with crazy chicks; women in the 20s make the mistake of hooking up with assholes.

Mistake #2, he missed a support payment while unemployed.

Mistake #3, he went to a hearing on this missed payment without documentation that he had been making payments all along. The insane ex told the judge he had *never* made a payment and turned on the waterworks. The judge said now it's $1000 or 60 days. He did not have $1000 immediately on hand.

When I say crazy and/or insane, I mean she is permanently one inch off of losing it, and has been hospitalized in the past for being a danger to herself and others. Since the divorce, she has been fired and was arrested for shoplifting. Arrested means she's a serial offender as they do not arrest people who have done it once or twice.

Since the divorce, her personal project is making my guitarist's life a living hell, and using every resource at hand to do it. She appears to have no concern that her children are innocent bystanders getting hit with debris. For example 60 days in jail would result in no income or payments at all for her children, but this was not in her line of thought. It is a fuck.

infinite monkey 08-02-2011 11:28 AM

Women like that make me want to barf. :mad2:

But for levity:

Who goes to jail
And asks UT for bail
Baby it's the guitar man.
Who pays the ex
Cause he once wanted sex
Baby it's the guitar man

Undertoad 08-02-2011 11:34 AM

:lol: that will be sung at our next rehearsal.

infinite monkey 08-02-2011 11:37 AM

Yay! :jig:

Trilby 08-02-2011 11:54 AM

Oh, that just sucks, UT.

I was crazy in my 20's and I hooked up with (sort of) assholes in their 20's BUT - the kids always, always, always, came before any of our craziness. always.

This woman is using her energy all wrong - but I don't have to tell you that.

And it does rather ask the question - HOW is a jailed person supposed to support anyone at all? Don't throw them in jail, ffs, get them to a job!

PS - really nice song, IM. Very nice.

Nirvana 08-02-2011 12:58 PM

Some women are born cunts.
I think IM has a job writing songs for your band UT :)

Sundae 08-02-2011 01:42 PM

Some everyones are born cunts.
BIRTH CONTROL, PEOPLE!

But hey, I was sucked into a relationship like a tornado, so I'm no-one to talk.
Didn't squeeze out any babies but lost years of my life and plenty of money to it.

Bloody good for the gitar-man that he's doing what's right by his childers.
Shame they'll be 50% crazy via genetics.
Tell him next time he considers it, slam it in a wardrobe door until he rememberes how much it can hurt.

Pete Zicato 08-02-2011 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 747902)
I bailed out my guitarist today.

And ironically enough, you have the beginnings of a great blues song.

Flint 08-02-2011 11:24 PM

I bailed out my guitarist today?

That's right up there with "I was drunk the day my Mama got out of prison..."

Spexxvet 08-03-2011 08:12 AM

I bailed out my guitarist today today
To see if I still feel ...

Gravdigr 08-03-2011 05:56 PM

Here's one your guitarist may want to add to the set list:


wolf 08-03-2011 06:14 PM

Good thing it was the guitarist. If it had been the bass player, you'd never get paid back.

Gravdigr 08-04-2011 04:06 PM


Big Sarge 08-13-2011 03:36 PM

[quote=Brianna;748049]I was crazy in my 20's and I hooked up with (sort of) assholes in their 20's BUT - the kids always, always, always, came before any of our craziness. always /QUOTE]

I bet those were some wild times for you in the early 60s.

plthijinx 08-14-2011 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 748033)
......When I say crazy and/or insane, I mean she is permanently one inch off of losing it, and has been hospitalized in the past for being a danger to herself and others....

sounds eerily familiar.

TheMercenary 08-14-2011 07:49 AM

A day in the life...

Bad luck UT.

Undertoad 09-25-2011 05:59 PM

Quote:

Since the divorce, her personal project is making my guitarist's life a living hell, and using every resource at hand to do it. She appears to have no concern that her children are innocent bystanders getting hit with debris. For example 60 days in jail would result in no income or payments at all for her children, but this was not in her line of thought. It is a fuck.
update, merely because you enjoy the drama:

Guitarist's crazy ex tried to kill herself last weekend. So while she's hospitalized...

The kids went to her sister's house. (Her crazy sister, as these things do follow in families, whether shitty nurture or shitty nature.)

Crazy sister walked in on her daughter and guitarist's daughter smoking weed in her living room, and got violent with them, throwing guitarist's (17 year old) daughter across the room.

As the girls did not know exactly how to respond to this threatening situation, they called the cops.

When the cops arrived, they discovered that crazy sister had in fact hit the kids, and moreover was drunk at 4pm on a Thursday. When they decided to take her in, she minorly punched one of the cops in the face.

She was hauled off and put in a cell, where for two hours she screamed and yelled, and then she attempted to kill herself by hanging herself with her pants.

While the cops were stopping her from doing this, she hit one of them across the face and dragged her nails and cut him.

So now tomorrow crazy sister will face her hearing for multiple assault charges, assaulting the kids and then assaulting the cop.

http://www.pottsmerc.com/articles/20...ewmode=default

monster 09-25-2011 06:20 PM

::speechless::

poor.... poor... well anyone who has to deal with her really. poor kids.

SamIam 09-25-2011 08:36 PM

Good grief! So, where are the kids now that their Mom is in the hospital and their aunt is in jail? (I was high on the day my Auntie got out of prison...)

Undertoad 09-25-2011 08:53 PM

I don't know, I didn't get that detail. Guitarist can't have the kids because he's stuck in a room in a boarding house. Crazy sister's husband seemed a decent guy when I met him, so maybe they are still there.

Crazy sister's husband is a resource for the band, because he repairs amps in his spare time.

Clodfobble 09-25-2011 08:58 PM

Jeeezus.

Every time a cop is condescending and suspicious towards me, I have to try to remind myself that they deal with people like that most of the time...

monster 09-25-2011 09:13 PM

Guitarist needs to step up some. Sure, gonna be hard, but.....

zippyt 09-25-2011 09:25 PM

Oh That SUUUCKS !!

Spexxvet 09-26-2011 08:05 AM

What's the situation with guitarist's parents?

Undertoad 09-26-2011 12:34 PM

Guitarist's dad is a cop, with a genuine Cop Personality(TM), who physically threatens guitarist from time to time for sport although he is too old to actually do anything. Due to his abusive Cop Personality as a father, guitarist's brother was a relentless heroin addict until he literally messed up his arm shooting it up, to the point where it doesn't operate.

Mom is alive but I don't know her situation. Both are in Ohio.

Sundae 09-26-2011 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 758596)
Both are in Ohio.

Tcha, that says it all dude.

infinite monkey 09-26-2011 02:21 PM

Don't it though?!?

:)

Pete Zicato 09-26-2011 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster (Post 758441)
Guitarist needs to step up some. Sure, gonna be hard, but.....

Depends on whether guitarist has a reasonably well-paying day job. Otherwise the following joke applies:

Three guys drinking at a bar. Two guys look pretty happy, the third not so much.

First guy says, "I'm doing ok. I pulled in a quarter of a mill last year. I'm a dentist."

Second guy says, "Not bad. I pulled in half a mill last year. I'm a lawyer."

The third guy hangs his head and says, "I only made 10 grand last year."

The lawyer says, "That's too bad. What's the name of your band?"

ZenGum 09-26-2011 11:02 PM

Those poor kids. At least at 17 one was old enough to register that it was time to call the cops. She'd do better fully independent, IMHO, pot or no pot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble (Post 758440)
Jeeezus.

Every time a cop is condescending and suspicious towards me, I have to try to remind myself that they deal with people like that most of the time...

Cops divide their time between dealing with criminals, dealing with victims, dealing with bureaucracy and dealing with lawyers.

Then there are the car smashes, vomiting drunks, domestic arguments, indignant citizens, the ACLU and people who actually try to kill them.

Sarge ... thanks for this service, too.

Spexxvet 09-27-2011 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 758596)
Guitarist's dad is a cop, with a genuine Cop Personality(TM), who physically threatens guitarist from time to time for sport although he is too old to actually do anything. Due to his abusive Cop Personality as a father, guitarist's brother was a relentless heroin addict until he literally messed up his arm shooting it up, to the point where it doesn't operate.

Mom is alive but I don't know her situation. Both are in Ohio.

That sucks. The kids really have no support.

Undertoad 02-01-2012 09:46 AM

Well, the good part of this story is over and done with, but it's worth documenting the end of it, I guess.

The source of the money for guitarist's fine payment/bailout was our lead singer's pawn shop, and it was not a small amount.

But it made things deteriorate, because either guitarist didn't hold up to his end of the deal, or there was confusion over what the deal was, until things got weird. So this has actually ended the band, as singer will not work with guitarist any longer.

Since it didn't seem to be going anywhere anyway, no hard feelings. Singer and I will now try to develop a new band.

Sundae 02-01-2012 10:34 AM

Sadness.

And hope.

Spexxvet 02-01-2012 11:00 AM

I thought the singer wouldn't be able to continue performing because he was managing another band. No?

Undertoad 02-01-2012 11:13 AM

Ah, I forget what's in other threads!

Singer wanted to branch out and do wedding gigs and make money, but that never came together. He then was briefly interested in putting a wedding gig band together from scratch, but that's a lot of effort for what might not really pay off. (there are expensive weddings that pay big money, but how to sell to them? the eternal problem)

But singer knows another guitarist who is really good, and a keyboard player who comes with, so he's trolling for a good drummer right now. Then we just jam once to see if it feels good to everybody.

wolf 02-01-2012 12:28 PM

You don't sell to weddings, you sell to wedding planners.

And you have a good rendition of The Chicken Dance.

Pico and ME 02-01-2012 12:59 PM

Yeah, bridal shows should be happening right about now too! See if you can get a table in one.

limey 02-02-2012 07:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf (Post 792225)
You don't sell to weddings, you sell to wedding planners.

And you have a good rendition of The Chicken Dance.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pico and ME (Post 792232)
Yeah, bridal shows should be happening right about now too! See if you can get a table in one.

And you sell to wedding venues, too ...

Spexxvet 02-02-2012 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 792208)
Ah, I forget what's in other threads!

Singer wanted to branch out and do wedding gigs and make money, but that never came together. He then was briefly interested in putting a wedding gig band together from scratch, but that's a lot of effort for what might not really pay off. (there are expensive weddings that pay big money, but how to sell to them? the eternal problem)

But singer knows another guitarist who is really good, and a keyboard player who comes with, so he's trolling for a good drummer right now. Then we just jam once to see if it feels good to everybody.

Think you'll get the steady gig at RP McMurphy's?

Undertoad 02-02-2012 09:19 AM

I dunno, we may be too old and fat for that particular venue!

Spexxvet 02-02-2012 10:01 AM

Never!

wolf 02-02-2012 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet (Post 792483)
Think you'll get the steady gig at RP McMurphy's?

There's a bar named after the charmingly manipulative criminal from One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest? You are kidding me.

Spexxvet 02-06-2012 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf (Post 792562)
There's a bar named after the charmingly manipulative criminal from One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest? You are kidding me.

More than one, apparently. One is right across from the MacDade Mall.

http://rpmcmurphysbar.com/

classicman 02-06-2012 11:25 AM

Been there. ;)

Spexxvet 02-06-2012 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman (Post 793210)
Been there. ;)

In the Cuckoo's Nest? That's a surprise.:rolleyes:;)


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