Do you like screwin' with peoples minds?
 

First off there are some very basic guide lines to keep yourself out of trouble.

1. DON'T be abusive in any way shape or form.
2. Be sure your victim can not depart from the situation.
3. Be sure your victim is in a position where they can not react negatively to what you will do. (hence rule #1)

Here's what I did a couple weeks ago just to amuse myself.
Walking to the store I see a Panda Express Restaurant and think to myself, somebody in there needs to be fucked with. I do this knowing I will not actually be orfering anything.

Underpaid Panda Express employee: Good afternoon, how may I help you?
Me: Ummm.... Let's see... How about some of the sweet and sour panda.
Underpaid Panda Express employee: Uhhh... We don't have that sir.
Me: Ok.. How about the Kung Pao Panda?
Underpaid Panda Express employee: I'm sorry sir but we don't have that either.
Me: (with just a hint of attitude in my voice) Fine... Then I guess I will have to settle for the Panda Fried Rice then.
Underpaid Panda Express employee: Sir, do you realize that the panda bear is an endangered species?
Me: Of course I do. That's why I want some. How will I be able to get some once they are extinct?

At this point the girl is just a bit flustered and has no idea what to do about me.

Me: Ok, see if you understand this. Let's say I have a restaurant called Chicken Express. What do you think I would be serving there?
Underpaid Panda Express employee: (with a little hesitation) Chicken?
Me: Right! What if the place was called Burger express?
Underpaid Panda Express employee: Burgers of course.
Me: Right again! So here we are in Panda Express and I can't seem to get ANY panda! What's wrong with this picture?

Now there are people lining up behind me waiting to order. Surprisingly all of them have grins on there faces having been entertained before their meal.

At this point I juast throw up my arms in frustration, say "Aww the hell with it", and stomp out the front door.

Did I actually do this?
Hell yes.

Do I like wasting people's time?
Nah, not much.

Sounds like something an asshole would do, but hey whatever gets your rocks off.
Me? Nah I'm not interested in shitting on other people completely undeserved and for no reason. I take it you are a teenager?

Oh, and if I were in line behind you ... I wouldn't have been grinning either. :headshake

yes you are and yes you do.

Have to say I disagree with you there Bri.
Classic's reaction might not always be reasonable (imo) but it's not for shits & giggles. And I don't think he's an arsehole either.

Just sayin.

meh.

ETA. thanks Sundae, but don't piss off the clique. They may turn on you.

Bri isn't the clique, she's my friend.
We have different opinions sometimes.

I don't always step in, because people are entitled to an opinion, and equally Dwellars can look after themselves.
Just this time I thought I would, as the response is not based on anything written this thread.

Oh and just to clarify - on rereading Brianna didn't call you an arsehole.
So I ramped it up a bit there.
Soz.

I believe that you made a passing joke to some cashier about there not being Panda on the menu.

But I do not for one moment believe that the conversation was as drawn out as you have described here. People who work in fast food places do not say things like, "Sir, do you realize that the panda bear is an endangered species?" They hate their lives and just want to get the transaction over with. You have to get up to the level of a barista at Starbucks before you can find any sense of self-righteousness in your average customer service worker.

I do, however, believe that the cashier dismissed your joke as one she has heard a hundred thousand times before, and urged your order transaction along without allowing you to fully examine your prepared thesis in all its glory. Which is precisely why you felt the need to come here and present it for us instead.

Sexy minds. that's what I came to this thread for. If this thread were called "Screwing with red-heads" I'd expect a discussion (and hopefully pictures) of Gingers in all their glory. And, if this thread were called "Screwing with Blondes" I'd expect a discussion on the merits of the Nordic people (and probably a few blonde jokes)

You can imagine my disappointment to find the thread's leading post to not only be completely devoid of any screwing whatever, but also to start with a list of RULES. WTF?

I will say that the thread was entirely redeemed by poster #8

If it was Screwing With Pandas I would certainly expect Sarge.

Friendly bunch, eh buttles? It is almost hard to imagine coming from such perfection.

Yeah, I think Buttless just played with their self in this scenario.

ETA: that struck me as mean-ness for mean-ness' sake.

.... I'm madly in love with you at this point.

Every time I read something clodfobble writes, I'm like. Yeah.

that's all I say. Yeah.

because THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I THINK!

buttless, make sure you tell the finance manager where you buy your next car that 'you feel like you're signing your life away' AND that 'this is more paperwork than it takes to buy a house' cuz we've never heard that before either.

i'm giving you a probationary 'cock' label. you're going to have to work your way out of the cock hole with some honesty and originality. good luck to you sir. ...and ... sorry about your butt. that must have hurt.

The thing about Clodfobble's posts is that she'll take a thought that you have, and while you may not have fully fleshed out all the details of the thought to the point that it's crystal clear, she has done precisely that.

In the back of my mind, I was thinking the op was bs, but I didn't bother to think precisely of how it was bs. I was ready to just shake my head and move on. Clodfobble does the work for me, and she does it perfectly.

That's how CF validated this thread, by bringing some hot, synapse on synapse, mind screwing action to the board.

I need a cigarette.

oh man... I love the cellar.

Long time.

Ummm, yep am actually thinking But isn't sorry bout my finger.
You know?

Attempted submersion, but too much too soon.

On the flip side, I'm not very good at seeing people as people. Everyone fits into an archetype in my mind, at least initially. The fact that I draw from a whole ton of archetypes doesn't change the fact that I pigeonhole pretty much every single person I meet.

Pigeonhole Me, baby......





(yes, I do realize that clodfobble's refusal to reply directly to my repeated overtures is indicative of her discomfort with the concept of a of hammer like me taking an actual shine to her. But, I'm sorry.....if she was a dude, I'd be queer for her.)

Yep, that's why her friends all walk that way

Talk to the hole sistah, this pigeon ain't listening.

Nah, not uncomfortable at all. Just don't have any good/humorous/worthy-of-typing response. At heart I'm still a big nerd that has no idea what to say to the boys.

But this time I've got a good one!

For a second ot two I thought that was Brian Kinney [faint].
That is NPH though, right?

Everybody has a crush on Clodfobble's brain.

She, like, uses the lightsaber of logic, because it's "an elegant weapon, from a more civilized age."

Yes, Nathan Fillion and Neil Patrick Harris in Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.

REALLY? I thought that was the correct response. It was in jest. I think it was expected. I also think she got it. Obviously you didn't.
If I wanted to tell her to fuck off I would. And to think that would be uncalled for after all these years? Puhlease.

um, it only works in jest if you actually like the person and they know it.....

Oh, in that case, have some Cotton Candy, monnie.

I read this as, it's "an eggplant weapon, from a more civilized age."

The rest of this thread is just a bit of a ramble.

Oh, and I'm not sorry about your butt!

Oh, great, eggplant weapons. There's another thing we won't be allowed to take on planes.

The best way to use an eggplant as a weapon is to bake it then eat the whole thing with some garlic.

Your arse will produce many weapons of mass destruction which are particularly useful in confined spaces. ;)

I think there's a hijack-movie spoof in that.

Actually, the Obi Wan quote was meant to antagonize the vehemently anti-Star Wars Clodfobble. Unfortunately, she was too busy daydreaming about steamy Nathan Fillion/NPH slash fic to notice. Troll gambit epic fail.