The Cellar

The Cellar (http://cellar.org/index.php)
-   Nothingland (http://cellar.org/forumdisplay.php?f=36)
-   -   What do you picture when I say.... (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=26270)

jimhelm 11-09-2011 05:50 PM

What do you picture when I say....
 
shitmen

Aliantha 11-09-2011 05:51 PM

a couple of my ex's

DanaC 11-09-2011 05:53 PM

Men cleaning up shit.

Lola Bunny 11-09-2011 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha (Post 771456)
a couple of my ex's

Didn't make me think of my ex's, but your comment did make me say, "Ha!" I agree some men are...uh...you know. :right:

BigV 11-09-2011 10:12 PM

Domfcothl,isan.

jimhelm 11-09-2011 10:58 PM

What do you picture when I say 'shitmen'?

jimhelm 11-09-2011 10:59 PM

What do you PICTURE!?

jimhelm 11-09-2011 11:00 PM

There's beeeeeeeers riding on this! Don't fuck around!

Aliantha 11-09-2011 11:34 PM

I PICTURE a couple of my ex boyfriends in my mind. Just standing there looking like the shitmen they are!

ZenGum 11-10-2011 01:42 AM

Well if there's beers on it...

Snowmen = frosty the snow man, three blobs of snow stacked up with a carrot nose.

Replace snow with shit. Not sure what you'd use for the nose.

Now where's my bloody beer?!

limey 11-10-2011 03:30 AM

Hitmen with their heads up their ar$es?

Trilby 11-10-2011 04:26 AM

Probably too late but I picture plumbers.

DanaC 11-10-2011 04:34 AM

Are you asking us for pictures?

DanaC 11-10-2011 04:37 AM

1 Attachment(s)
.....

monster 11-10-2011 06:20 AM

gong farmers

infinite monkey 11-10-2011 07:06 AM

Someone who might want to think about changing their name to something that americans won't laugh at?

:bolt:

(I see some weird...to me anyway...names. How would you like the first name Dildo? OK, that isn't it exactly but it's darn close and I shouldn't say since it might be the only person in the country with that first name and I could get busted.) :lol:

glatt 11-10-2011 07:32 AM

Shitmen?

I picture a small group of guys. Maybe 5 or 6, standing around wearing overalls and hard hats. A couple of them have shovels. They all have head lamps. I guess they look a lot like miners. One of them is tall and skinny, one is a bit plump. There's some sort of ethnic guy in there, and a guy who looks like groundskeeper Willie. And finally a handsome one. I've only got a vague notion of what it is they do. Something with the sewers underground. But the important thing is that they fight for us. They fight crime and corruption. Oh, and there is a work truck with weird equipment on it. And they are dirty and don't smell so good.

infinite monkey 11-10-2011 07:53 AM

Every now and then they break into song.

Sometimes they touch on important social issues, like if Shitman 2 should let his daughter go on the pill, or if Shitman 4 should get tested for AIDS after his encounter with the bartender at Regular's (their after work hangout.) Polly Ips is a remnant of the old country with a heart of gold and a razor-sharp wit. Her oft-repeated phrase "Who gives a shit?" has spawned a merchandising franchise rivaled only by "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

"Tonight, on a very special Shitmen..."

It's a drama, a comedy, a musical...it's a Dramedyical!

glatt 11-10-2011 08:03 AM

There's lots of sneaking around. But it's easy for them, because of course the sewers lead everywhere. And they aren't those little 6 inch wide drain pipes. The sewers in shitmen's city are all human sized. And there are doors that lead from the sewers into all the different buildings.

They all had dreams for more from life, but deep down in side, they know they are happiest as shitmen, because it's the only place where they can be accepted for who they are and what their talents are.

infinite monkey 11-10-2011 08:06 AM

"My daddy was a shitman, my grandpappy was a shitman, and his grandpappy before him. Shit's in our blood, son...you can't escape it."

glatt 11-10-2011 08:13 AM

Exactly! :D

infinite monkey 11-10-2011 08:16 AM

Thanks, glatt and I will be here all week. Try the 'shit on a shingle.'

:lol:

jimhelm 11-10-2011 08:30 AM

now this thread is moving! I'm losing.. but it's moving!

Beest 11-10-2011 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimhelm (Post 771537)
What do you PICTURE!?

A dustman
http://lh3.ggpht.com/_OLJ1m43rLvk/TC...5o/dustman.jpg

only with a metal bin.

Cause what they collected originally wasn't dust.

infinite monkey 11-10-2011 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimhelm (Post 771587)
now this thread is moving! I'm losing.. but it's moving!

You know what else has movement? Shitmen, that's what!

Clodfobble 11-10-2011 08:48 AM

Yeah, I picture human men with shit on them, or somehow involved in shit.

I do not picture walking shit creatures, which is what I'm guessing this beer debate is about: primarily men with shit characteristics, or primarily shit with man characteristics? Like Mr. Hanky!

Spexxvet 11-10-2011 08:48 AM

1 Attachment(s)
.

jimhelm 11-10-2011 08:50 AM

1 Attachment(s)
I'm going to concede defeat. The bet was first to 5, and I think kerosene has 5 now.

I pictured little army men made of shit.
Attachment 35243
She pictured guys like glatt described. I'm calling zen's snowshitmen one in my column..... but that's the only one. I was counting on foot and flint to see little shitmen...but they failed me.

I don't even remember how this came up... a typo, but i forget the context.

I owe her a beer or beers, I'm not sure which.

thanks for playing, cellar
edit: spex's goes in my column, but too late.

infinite monkey 11-10-2011 08:53 AM

How disappointing!

And how does something like that come up, anyway? :lol:

(I know we saved the thread, glatt...but shhhhhhhhhhhhh!)

jimhelm 11-10-2011 08:55 AM

I think you and glatt should continue your shitmen story, though... i was quite enjoying reading about them.

infinite monkey 11-10-2011 08:58 AM

We've got meetings with the folks at FX and Spike, to pitch our show.

Certainly, you are the creative consultant, jim. ;)

glatt 11-10-2011 09:15 AM

Little men made of shit would be "shit creatures" to me. Or maybe "shit monsters."

Clodfobble 11-10-2011 11:29 AM

The more I think about it though, it's not universal. If you say "broccoli men," or "stone men," I think of creatures made of those things. But "dirt men," again, that's real men who are really dirty. Hmm....

infinite monkey 11-10-2011 11:35 AM

If a shitman were drinking a glass of water, and someone told a joke, and the shitman busted out laughing and sprayed water everywhere, would that be a shittake?

I know the spelling is wrong. There'shroom for improvement.

jimhelm 11-10-2011 11:52 AM

what i actually typed was SHIT MEN

dunno if that matters

infinite monkey 11-10-2011 11:57 AM

I'm sorry...I tangented. Let me delete all my jokes in this thread. I clearly did not see it with wisdom and light.

infinite monkey 11-10-2011 11:57 AM

Oh fuck, it's too late.

Guess you'll have to deal with my less than perfection.

jimhelm 11-10-2011 12:08 PM

what the fuck are you talking about?

I was just telling clobble that the initial typo was SHIT MEN... she seemed to be still thinking of what the term made her see.

settle down.

infinite monkey 11-10-2011 12:09 PM

No. :kisspink: :madmoon:::queen::apimp:

jimhelm 11-10-2011 12:23 PM

NO...kiss my ass.... king? pimp?

jimhelm 11-10-2011 12:24 PM

quick! I need a shitman smilie!

infinite monkey 11-10-2011 12:26 PM

I tire of this. Peel me a grape, knave.

jimhelm 11-10-2011 12:37 PM

peel theeeeese

infinite monkey 11-10-2011 12:37 PM

:eek:

Themsum grapes!

I'm frightened, and cold.

kerosene 11-10-2011 12:38 PM

Shit man, Jim, quit talking so much shit!

infinite monkey 11-10-2011 12:42 PM

If someone steps in a pile of shit, do the Shitmen AFS 360 (American Federation of Shitmen) qualify for Shitman's Comp?

kerosene 11-10-2011 01:54 PM

only if they fill out the proper bullshit forms.

infinite monkey 11-10-2011 01:58 PM

In shitlicate.

Sundae 11-10-2011 02:02 PM

^FTW^

jimhelm 11-10-2011 02:13 PM

I lolled

infinite monkey 11-10-2011 03:31 PM

The Shitman Cometh.

What a mess!

Gravdigr 11-10-2011 03:32 PM

I'd chime in here, but, I don't know shit from Shinola.

BigV 11-10-2011 04:31 PM

Protip: One is on the tops of your boots...

ZenGum 11-11-2011 01:01 AM

... and the other is on the bottom ... but which?


The group of Shitmen are about to head out on their regualr shit-related duties, when the fore-shit-man's phone rings.

"Shit head here" he says. A pause. "Uh-huh ... yeah ... oh, wow ... really? Text me the location. We'll be there in ten." He loks back at the group.

"Big trouble, shitmen. To the shit-mobile! Shitmen AWAY!"

"SHITMEN AWAY!" the crew chorus in response as they leap onto the shitmobile.

Spexxvet 11-11-2011 09:26 AM

Shitmen is an old Jewish family name. "Dr. Shitmen, meet Dr. Assmann" (I truly know an Assmann family)

jimhelm 11-11-2011 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZenGum (Post 771933)
... and the other is on the bottom ... but which?


The group of Shitmen are about to head out on their regualr shit-related duties, when the fore-shit-man's phone rings.

"Shit head here" he says. A pause. "Uh-huh ... yeah ... oh, wow ... really? Text me the location. We'll be there in ten." He loks back at the group.

"Big trouble, shitmen. To the shit-mobile! Shitmen AWAY!"

"SHITMEN AWAY!" the crew chorus in response as they leap onto the shitmobile.

The Shitmobile leaves skid marks as it plunges away from the curb. Weaving in and out of traffic, the brown light on the roof flashing, and a long low fart sound siren blaring, the Shitmobile runs toward the scene of the emergency call....

infinite monkey 11-11-2011 09:35 AM

The shitmobile, an old faithful yet rather crappy vehicle, groaned as the shit head tried to start it. Various shitmen leapt into action, pushing and grunting, so that the Shit Head could start the vehicle with a pop of the old clutch.

There was something in the air that day. Shit Head's assistant, Shit Head No. 2, glanced back at the crew and smiled slightly. It was good work they were doing, honest work. He couldn't imagine working with a better pile of shitmen.

infinite monkey 11-11-2011 09:36 AM

Hahahahaa...sorry jim, synchronized posting. I like the way this is going: it's like a "choose your own story" game! :)

jimhelm 11-11-2011 09:39 AM

and lots of shitty puns to be made!

ZenGum 11-11-2011 04:49 PM

"What is it, boss?" the number two yelled over the fart-siren.

"There's a shit stuck up a tree, and can't get down. Old lady McFeces is terribly upset. We have to rescue it."


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:55 PM.

Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.