Women?? Do I really need One.....
 

I dunno, I've never had a relationship last more than 6 months and I've only had about 6 relationships. I'm 33 now. The woman I fell in love with is now married and she HATES me. So LADIES what do you want out of a relationship??? I haven't a clue except that I cannot provide diamonds and a picture perfect marriage. I am an artist so if you choose me we can have fun painting and drawing and if you are clever enough we can get into the art scene and have fun with that crowd. (They are usually more accepting of disabled people anyway) So someone clue me in what are the "terms" of your acceptance??

First, women are not mystical beings, they're just people, like you.
Second, not all women are the same. Actions and desires are not defined by gender. Some women want some things, some want other things.

Well....not talking like a twat is pretty high on the list

:p

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Honestly, there's no magic formula, nor a secret coda with which to unlock the female psyche. No woman here can tell you what 'women' are looking for. Only what they look for, and what they look for is individual to them, not something that can then be applied to women generally.

In my experience, women want pretty much the same things men want from relationships. Oh, there's tendencies for women to prioritise different aspects than men, but overall, guys and gals, not really that different from each other. Some women want commitment and some don't. Same as men. Some women want to lose themselves in a relationship, others want to draw sharp lines within it and maintain a strong sense of individualism. Same as men. Some women are helter skelter and drawn to calm and organised men. Some women are super organised and drawn to free spirits. Same as men.

Figure out what you want from a relationship and then see if you can find someone to match with whom there's a spark. That's it. That's all you can really do.

[eta] well put, Blueflare

dude i've been single now for what? i dunno, about a month and a half now after a brief stint with a chick that i left 'cause she couldn't keep her legs together. and no, not just with me. so anyway, i'm enjoying being single. i get to do what i want, when i want and how i want. lately though i've been real busy bringing work home for an ongoing engineering project so either that or shooting zippyt in call of duty has occupied my time. now lets jump back a couple weeks. some of you know that i play poker on a regular basis in a poker league. this chick, she's 21 mind you, starts showing interest in me. she tells me that her b/f, err ex-b/f, broke up with her. rumor around the league is she's nuts. b/f is 54 or 55, i can't remember. anyway, i let paul, my roommate take my truck home that night when he busted out early and i asked lucy if she'd give me a lift home. that girl tried to cling on me like stink on shit. yep. i turned it down. she kept trying over the next few days and finally i just flat out told her, you want to be friends? fine. i can be friends. but there is no hope for a relationship here. then day before last i went to my weekly venue and there's Rusty, her ex-b/f errr now b/f. he came up to me and said, dude! i thought you were going to take her off my hands! i was going to say thank you! i told him not only no but HAYULL no. he had told me that she'd hit him a couple weeks before so there isn't any way in hell i'd touch that. you're a new dweller so you don't know my history. i'm a bit, how shall i say it, bias? i went on a hiatus from society courtesy of a crazy chick that used to beat me all the time. not to mention the mental abuse. point is i guess, you don't have to be with someone to be happy. first off though, you have to be happy with yourself in order to be happy with someone else and share the feelings. i could go on and on and on. but i digress. embrace your situation right now. relax and focus on yourself. now. that said, i'mona go have a beer and eat supper. cheers!

Yea see I'm just not socially fit enough to have a relationship. All that "jibberish" it's just not my style... I guess I'm the quiet type but when I do talk I usually stick my foot in my mouth..

Whether you need one or not is irrelevant if they don't need you.

Can you cook, clean, and iron?

And rub one out?

yea but I'm not very good at it.

Infinitely more fun to rub one out with a partner.

Especially if you're not very good at it. :p:

"...OK, I'm gonna show you this just one more time."

If that's a Dick Tracey quote, then the answer is NO.

If there is some hidden meaning I'd like to know, cause your making me think the mob is after me.

At least you're flexible.

Speak for yourselves, ladies! I AM a mystical, special being!

The other children are being rude and naughty, JB.


Rub one out = :jagoff:

r.joe=smart
i.monkey=smart plus funny

Do you need a woman? No.

Are they handy to have around? You bet your bippy they are!

Your arms get tired sooner or later.

Cooking? I do.
Cleaning? I do.
Ironing? I do.

Do I need a woman? Oh yeah! If only to sweep her chimney and get my ashes hauled.

from The Seven Deadly Finns
-Eno
...

So when those French Girls say to you
"Would you like your ashes raked?"
You'll have to take their word for it:
It's the only thing to take...

Whether you need a woman depends on how such a relationship ties into the organizing adventure of your life -- the adventure that you always pursue when you have to make a choice.

If you're a heterosexual and the love adventure or the sex adventure or the marriage adventure is your organizing adventure, you need one.

If your organizing adventure is almost anything else (like making money, pursuing a profession, becoming a celebrity, etc.), you have to figure out for yourself where you rank the adventures of your life that necessarily involve a woman and how -- if at all -- you can fit them together with your more important pursuits.

Nobody can do that work for you or give you any specific advice that's worth bothering with, although a good psychotherapist could guide you through the process, if you need help.

Hi liberalpro, and welcome to the cellar.

I read and understood your answer... but I don't know how helpful something like that is. Very technical.

Welcome, liberalpro. Great first post, and thank you for giving me the name "organising adventure" for a concept I have long known of, but which was nameless until now.

It was generic; however, a thoughtful first post for someone not familiar with the individual's history. The extrapolation method is far less certain for people whose choices are limited by questionable validity.

JBK, look after yourself before you seek to look after someone else. If your life isn't together, throwing another person into the mix is not going to automagickally result in success or healing.

There's some good advice in the movie 28 Days. Get a plant. If, at the end of a year, the plant is still alive, you can get a pet. If at the end of the second year, both the pet and the plant are still alive, you can start thinking about a relationship.

Hiya Liberalpro, :welcome: to the cellar.

yea that makes a-lot of since...

20 dollars says in his next few post that regard me he'll be telling me to take my meds...

To be fair, I think most of us have suggested that to you at some point :p

^^WSS^^

Just Say No to drugs!

wank.