Overwhelmed
 

I'm using the acount from the collective because I don't know the anonymous password. I need to vent, to talk, but for legal issues please, please do not identify me.

I'm overwhelmed. My daughter who scored a 27 on her ACT is not graduating from high school. You already know this but it is stressing me. Then I had 4 children riding an ATV on a public road run into a pick up. The oldest child was 13 & the youngest was 2 yoa. The 2 yoa has died. The grandparents of the dead child took the infant brother away from the mother right after the funeral. They had all been living in the same home. When we tried to settle the situation, the grandmother (age mid forties) threatened one of the officers and caused a terrible disturbance. She was completely unstable and we arrested her to keep her on suicide watch.

Later the grandfather barricaded himself in the house with a 9mm and threatened suicide. I finally managed to get him to open the door and I shot him with a taser. He was transported by ambulance.

The next day, 2 pit bulls broke through the door of a house to attack a great dane in heat. A 16 yoa girl was alone in the home and the dogs were ripping her great dane to shreds when i got there. They were fighting in the living rooom and my .45 didn't even stop them. It took a shotgun loaded with buckshot to put them down. The news came & interviewed mewhile I was coated in blood. We carried away the dogs' bodies and due to weather conditions, we dumped the bodies in a creek by the sewage lagoon. No big thing because the overflow from the lagoon and another town's both spill into this creek. I was upset about the blood and couldn't get the smell out of my nose. It triggered horrible dreams of Iraq.

Today, a woman came in and filed a police report on the unlawful disposal of the bodies. She also called the local news. Then the grandmother & grandfather came by to pick up copies of the police reports and demanded the return of their pistol. They have an attorney and are pushing the issue. Through family members we have learned the grandfather wants them all to commit suicide so they can be re-united with the 2 yoa in Heaven.

Finally, my 77 yoa father has a wreck. He is ok, but it is my only 4x4. I have to use it to get to the back parts of the property I leased. I don't know what else can happpen. I just needed to vent and I can't post under my name due to legal reasons. Thankfully Anonymoo gave me her password over the phone. What do I do? I'm losing everything. I'm coming under fire from animal lovers and facing lawsuits for with holding a man's gun in addition to tasering him.

If I had a vehicle, I would seriously consider hooking it to my trailer and disappearing before everything blows up. I don't think I have ever had this many calamities going at the same time. Thank you for listening

Here's a blurry pic of the kitchen where the fighted spilled over to. I won't post any of the body pics or of the living room. They are just too sickening. You are seeing the adjacent room and you can imagine the rest

one at a time. handle them one at a time. when i was down and thought it couldn't get any worse? i learned to not say that. take them one at a time. chin up and focus on your well being first and foremost. like everything else....you'll get through this too.

Well, by my reckoning, that is at least three people whose lives you have directly saved, and probably the family as well. (Excellent use of a taser, too, exactly the sort of niche they fit.)

This community would fall apart if it were not for people like you, even if the ones you directly deal with are too overwhelmed to see it and the ones hiding behind you "don't want to get involved".

Thank you, Anon, for dealing with the car wrecks and the distraught relatives and the vicious dogs and all the other crap, the lawyers and the media and the bureaucracy too.

ANY person would be upset by all that stuff, especially the house with the dog incident. That goes double for a veteran. You are entitled to be stressed and upset by that. Can you take a few days off to just sit in the woods and have a good long hard cry? You're such a real man that you could do that and not be any less of a man, you know.

Shit that sucks. I don't have anything good to add 'cept, I feel for you and I second everything Zen says.

was the disposal of the dogs' bodies "unlawful"? If not, cross that on off your list, but maybe practice the explanation of why it was lawful. If it was/maybe unlawful (1) can you rectify it? (2) Make sure your report on why that was the best option is ready to go with at that time.

oh and double/triple what zen/mtp said -that's way too much stuff for anyone to handle. please don't feel you're failing because you cried wibble. You rock.

First, a big hug to you.

You did your job.

You came home each night.

That's how it's supposed to work.

All the other shit is indeed bad shit.

Does your area have a CISM team?

Everybody has a lawyer these days ... Don't sweat that piece of it. You did the right thing. As of right now, that weapon is evidence, right? Voucher it, put it in the property room, and let the courts figure it out. Here in Pennsylvania if you end up in the wacky factory, you don't get the weapons back unless there are very special circumstances involved.

The news are a fucking bunch of vultures. Have the PIO handle them.

None of the shit you waded into should have happened. But it did. You can't cure stupid, but you can take care of yourself. Please. You deserve it.

Don't worry, I won't fucking start singing kum bah yah on you, neither will your local CISM, if you choose to contact them.

Feel free to PM me.

Alls I got is a hug babes.

*hug*

Hugs from here too. It looks like Wolf has good advice. PM her, will ya. xxx

holy shit, Houston. Holy mother of Fuck.

Wow. I'm sorry everything seems to be happening all at once. I think philthy has a good point. Just focus on what you have to do next. One thing at a time.

Know that we all care and are rooting for you.

Yeah, one step at a time. One step at a time and eventually all these things will get resolved. But hey, don't feel bad for being overwhelmed by it all, you really got hit with a lot in a short period of time - that's just not gonna feel good.

All of that sounds completely awful, anon. You are right to feel overwhelmed.

Try to get things off your plate, mentally (I know, easier said than done.) Lawyer shit takes months or even years, you absolutely don't have to worry about any of that right now. Walk away and let the lawyers do their thing. And the local news agency will move on to the next dumb thing very soon. How gas prices are gonna go up this summer or whatever.

You are saving lives every day, and at least one 16-year-old girl has got to be extremely grateful that you came to her rescue.

I really feel for you. All this should not be visited upon anyone, especially not all at once.

PM me for my phone number if you want to vent. I know you have others to talk to, but I will gladly throw my name in the list anyway.

I can offer a big hug, and I have LONG arms! :D

Pam

What Zen and Wolf said ,
Damn , just DAMN !!!!

Rx: Take 2 Quaaludes and call me from Las Vegas.

I heartily disagree.

Our friend is in exactly the right line of work.

He is, as Lt. Col. Dave Grossman puts it, a sheepdog.

It is a sheepdog's job to protect the sheep from the wolves.

The sheep do not like the sheepdog because in him they see the eyes and the instincts of the wolf. But the sheepdog does not prey upon the sheep. He protects the sheep, even to the point of giving his own life in their defense.

I thank you, brother sheepdog, for your service.

Hang in there. I had a pretty crappy day today myself. After reading your post, it really put it in perspective. It's good that you are venting. Zen is right. You saved lives. Every saved life is a family saved from grief. You have contributed to every future wedding, every future birth, every future moment of the lives of those people and their future children, grandchildren, etc. That is potentially hundreds of years of living.

I wouldn't be too quick to dismiss GravDigr's suggestion.

Even the best sheep dogs get tired and need a rest.
If this anon poster was my sheep dog, I'd make him a cosy bed on the porch where he could lie in the sun and bark to let me know when a car is coming up the drive. Dunno how to translate that back out of metaphor, though, but he's earned it.

I love you annon, for everything you do even if I'm not in your community. There are people in mine who do what you do, and I'm grateful to them too.

Just do your job as best you can, and remember why you do it.

xxx

Tell me, zen, if anon were, say, an automechanic, who had a crappy day, but otherwise did everything that he's supposed to on his job, fixed up the cars exactly right, but made the mistake of dumping some crankcase oil down the drain like he used to when he first got into the business, would you be suggesting that maybe he should be looking for a new job or retire?

Just playing devil's advocate, but if that mechanic had also been through a horrific auto accident and has flashbacks when he's working on a car, yes I think Zen would be suggesting that he look for a new job or retire.

Only having flashbacks while trying to uphold the law, in scary situations, is entirely different, even dangerous.

I love anon too and bless him bless him bless him for all that he's done and all that he does, but there do come times in people's lives where what they're doing isn't good for them anymore...in some cases isn't good for anyone.

I think our issue here comes down to regular people don't understand cops, which is why they usually only talk to other cops.

Sometimes 'not understanding' something is a great observation spot for objectivity.

I hope this doesn't lead to a drinking problem.

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If it's causing severe emotional pain and/or distress, I would suggest he/she consider a different line of work.

I don't care if your job is tickling people with dandelion fluff, if it's detrimental to your health, if it fucks you up when you see a dandelion out in a field, then you should absolutely consider a different occupation.

It ain't about just a crappy day, it's what those crappy days are doing to you.

I tend to agree that anon is in this line of work because his heart's in the right place and he has training in this line of work. However, anon is also a very sensitive soul who maybe would find more peace of mind and emotional healing in another milieu.

Emotional injuries are a real as physical ones and should be respected as such.

Or maybe he just had a shit day and needed to vent...

like we all do from time to time...

My guess is some aspects of the job are helpful and some are detrimental to the OP's emotional state. The balance will shift according to many factors including whatever else is going on in the OP's life at the time.

RFN the job may be harmful but a week from now, or a few months along, and the job might be the most positive and self-affirming aspect of the OP's life.

These things tend to wax and wane.

Unbelievable man, good luck sorting it all out. We're pulling for you.

The idea is to address the bits of emotional pain, not run from them.

Daughter... she'll have to go back to school until she buckles down and graduates.

Grandma... ask the court if they can force a physiological evaluation/cooling off period.

Grandpa... threatened suicide should be enough for the court to take his gun, at least until a shrink says he's cool.

They might want to put the 16 year old in protection for a bit.

The dog bodies... well you had to get them out of the trailer for health reasons, and you had to put them somewhere while you dealt with live people issues. You just hadn't gotten back to them yet.

One at a time... maybe with a beer in between. ;)