The Cellar Zombie Movie
 

What part would YOU play?


I'd be the guy who doesn't believe the reports and goes out "to see for myself".

I see a few zombies, but think they're being discriminated against and just need medical care. I start a Differently-Alive Rights campaign but at the first meeting I'm mauled and devoured by the undead horde.

I'd be the guy you convinced to go with you holding the flashlight with dead batteries.

I'd be the sweet kinda old little lady whom everyone trusts completely. The neighbor children come over for lemonaid and cookies. But for some strange reason, more and more kids are turning into zombies. Heh, heh, heh! :crone::eek:

I wonder how sex with a zombie would be?Would random body parts break off during? Hmmm

I'd be the blousy barfly who everyone has to protect when she gets all hysterical and tries to break out of the secure compound.

But dies in a heroic act of sacrifice before the end, bringing a touch of emotion to the gore-fest.

I lol'd :p

Well, as part of an argument with a mate, I once googled midget zombie porn, and there were stacks of hits, so you could probably look up zombie porn if you wanted to.

Be warned, the first link offered a video of "Gay interracial midget zombie porn". At this point we closed the browser.

I'd be the one they're eating, in the opening scene

It's boring.

Just close your eyes and think of England, dear.

Could I be that really annoying bitch that only got the part because I'm good at blood-curdling screams?

I'd be the one telling you in a cold, heartless voice how your zombie spouse/child/best friend is no longer the person you loved, and that if you don't have the balls necessary to shoot them in the head, then I'll do it, ya pansy ass. And if anyone in our group of survivors gets bitten or scratched, I'll be the one who ruthlessly shoots them before they even have a chance to turn zombie on us.

I'd be the one who falls hopelessly in love with that cute, brooding, artsy zombie who kind of keeps to himself, writing in his journal and strumming his guitar. See him over there? By the trees? He's just so DREAMY. Is he looking? omg omg omg. I think he likes the look of me, too!

Despite Clod's admonitions that this zombie isn't the zombie I think he is, I sneak out of the compound one night to meet him.

I have a very small part. But as they say, no small parts only small actors.

That's what Tom Cruise said to Katie Holmes

Character Treatment
Supporting Artist (spoken part)
Working Title: There’s a Zombie in My Cellar!

Aging character actress (25-35)
Willing to put on weight, but pref wear fat suit (think red carpet detail/ interviews afterwards)
Lines can be added if actress is high enough profile to be recognised in Oscars ie Jessica Simpson.
Caucasian unless script changes made (see below) NO native Americans - role already cast for pre-title sequence shooting.

Note, can also be played male (50+) with minor script changes - more lines added.

Character is alcoholic, poss drug addict if black. If male, reason shown in tragic back-story.
Uses sexual favours to obtain drug of choice (female only). Benefit to actress wearing fatsuit is a flashback sex scene can be shown (topless). Black actress can be hooker, no nudity required.

Often incoherent and querulous (nasty). May bond with Professor/ Social Worker (see other character treatments) but more likely to be dismissed by Scientist depending on casting. Very whiny. Needs to be set up as unpleasant. Death will be deserved but shocking. If black actress, should play the part aggressively and only bond with other black actors (unlikely to be cast)

If male, acerbic and witty, bonds with Heroine because his sense of anarchy appeals to her. Secretly admired by Hero, disgusts Housewife who is shown as being stuffy and insular by this. Death will be shocking and lead to a downbeat.

Under pressure from addiction and unable to seduce Scientist (female) or persuade Hero of excellent plan (male), the character makes a break from safety. Realising at last minute that colleagues are compromised by this action, makes heroic self sacrifice (male) or dies inconveniently (see Shelley Winters).

I'd be the one who says, "Let's split up!"

What did the leper say to the prostitute?

Keep the tip.

what do you call a leper in a hot tub?

Stu

I'd be the one who is positive we can survive this, and am armed with multiple assault rifles, pistols, RPG's, grenades and knives. I'll probably blow my own foot off. :yelsick:

:lol:

How did you get hold of the Hollywood Secret Formula???

She could tell you, but then she'd have to kill you :lol:

I'd be the cynical woman who has a great sex scene (okay, kissing scene if it's PG-13) with the hero and then goes out and dies, guns blazing, to let the others get from the bar to the escape van ...

As far as the part I'd play, I'd be the paranoid survivalist who has been telling everyone for years this was going to happen. I already have the guns and now I have my deuce & a half truck (M35a2) that I can use to run over zombie hordes. So, I'm already prepared for my role.

Do you think I could get a girl partner who is kind of a MacGyver/ "Q"?

I think Stormie and Orthodoc will have to fight for that privilege. And maybe Clod.

Character Treatment
Supporting Artist (spoken part)
Working Title: Zombie Zeitgeist!

Small part at start of film, but large in terms of impact.
Male actor who can pass as qualified/ educated (20+)
Not gruff Professor type (40+), already covered
Ideal casting, ex teen pin-up looking for more serious roles - can wear glasses but ideally only if has long hair.

Pinko liberal type
Set-up: possibly babysitting the child of his estranged wife (child must not be in danger at time of character’s death). Alternatively takes in stray cat. Note - not gay.

Lecturer/ social worker/ biologist/ expert. Person in position of authority, but hapless. Does not meet main cast so no interaction necessary. Potential of minimal contact (telephone) with Heroine, to set her up as well adjusted. Neighbour or college friend, not sibling or ex (see below re ethnicity).

Character unable to accept kill-or-be-killed advice. Not anti-gun, but not a survivor. Killed in pre-title sequence due to poor judgement. Death possibly shown on “live TV” to allow cut-away to main characters’ reactions. Perhaps in bar if that becomes the stronghold.

Ideal part for Native American, so he can be featured heavily in the trailers.

:corn:

Go on...

I'll be the one leaving the theater early mumbling "this movie is SO formula." ;)

I would be the one taking a hunter's/strategist's approach to the impending hordes, only to be killed due to some fairly simple but yet unencountered fact about the zombies, ala Robert Muldoon from Jurassic Park at the moment he utters "Clever girl...."

It also might happen fairly soon in the movie cuz I'm black and all...

Soz CW.
You're not allowed to make it to the final reel purely based on skin colour.
Since The Night of the Living Dead, that would be a cliche.

And Hollywood hates those.

Crud... I need a better agent.

Yes, you can.

http://theurbandaily.com/1605875/13-...ve-to-the-end/

Ah but this is a zombie film.
I have nothing against CW personally, of course. Fat girls like me don't make it either. Tulip will be lucky to be cast at all.

In fact as women only one of us will make it regardless.
And she will have to be 19.
Ibby?

Now of course if you are making a low-budget or art-house movie...

Oh you're right... I totally forgot the marginally-athletic tend to not survive to the end. It's got me coming and going.

Back to waitressing, dammit.

Now you should have said that in the first place!
A black waitress who is slightly larger than the average supermodel is a great cast member for a zombie movie.

I will have to rewrite part of it just to include you.
You'll need to work in a diner of course. Silver service doesn't cut it for this film. With a walk in freezer.
Am in two minds as to whether you get locked in or whether you lock someone else in.
Oh! Could you have an addicted younger brother (or friend - can cross racial lines when it comes to skinny people)? Yes - he's one of the early zombies who you lock in to protect all your ungrateful customers who think you are bringing your problems to work and they just want coffee, damnit! Then some do-gooder lets him out because it's just withdrawal, not zombieism. Uh-oh, who's sorry now...?

You can survive that scene because I think you need to slap the fat-arse drunk female later, to try to get across how you know all about addiction and you couldn't save your brother/ friend but you can save her. You don't of course.

Oooo I could sign up for that. I know just the friend too... will an opioid addict do? The opportunity to lock him in a walk in freezer is just too much to pass up! He'd love to be a zombie too.

If this is a Cellar Zombie movie, shouldn't all dwellars be able to be in it? Or is this Varsity?

Considering I'm not a fan of zombie movies (although I did laugh during Shawn of the Dead), I think I'd be among the crowd who don't believe people are turning into zombies, but then it turns out there's a reason for it.

I'm already brain dead and this is not real!

I'll be the one sitting quietly in the corner of the bar nursing a beer and reading a murder-mystery, who surprises everyone by coldcocking the hysterical woman with a library book and then calmly helps herself to a packet of peanuts before returning to her reading in the peaceful shocked silence...


what?

You won't even notice me until the credits roll. 'Rhianne was in that?' you'll say.

Wikipedia:

A zombie (Haitian Creole: zonbi; North Mbundu: nzumbe) is an animated corpse brought back to life by mystical means, such as witchcraft.[1] The term is often figuratively applied to describe a hypnotized person bereft of consciousness and self-awareness, yet ambulant and able to respond to surrounding stimuli. Since the late 19th century, zombies have acquired notable popularity, especially in North American and European folklore.



So wait......... can't we make a movie about corpses reanimated by benevolent mad scientists, trained to eat landfill rather than brains (maybe a little goat DNA in the reanimation process...) and then set to ambulate on treadmills to produce electricity?

I'll be the guy who miraculously manages to survive, unscathed, and defeats all the zombies. At the very end of the film, I release the villagers who have barricaded themselves in the local school, and, my back to the camera, as I hoist a little girl into the bright sky, smiling and laughing with relief that the nightmare is over, my shirt comes untucked and you can see a fresh zombie bite mark on the small of my back. I turn to face the camera with a leering, evil grin.

Dolly Zoom, cut to black, dramatic music, roll credits.

I'll be the only dwellar zombie listed in the credits "as himself."

I would like the role of Bill Murray.

I'd be the one that the ragtag bunch of dwellars would flee to, and as you approach Chez Wolf with the fast zombies close on your heels, I would start blasting them, and say to you all, "I was wondering how long it would take you to get here," and pass out weapons and ammo to hold out against the onslaught. I would also make the sort of engaging quips about being "all out of gum."

At some point, though, I'd get some zombie goo on me and try to conceal it from everyone else and eventually I'd turn and eat all of your brains.

and likely starve ...

I'd be one of the zombies eating Spex's brains in the opening scene.

Who's going to play the hippie tit who thinks we shouldn't discriminate against zombies and tries to help them integrate?

Didn't Zen volunteer for that in his inaugural post?

ALRIGHT!

ZOMBIE FIGHT!

Sorry, my brains have been eaten :D

Those vegetarian zombies you've been cultivating...
Are you sure the neighbours came by with enough mulch while you were away?

Dr Ian Malcolm was right...

I doubt it, that's whose corpses I'm using.

So since I volunteered for blood curdling scream person, are you coldcocking me? Or is blood curdling scream girl different from hysterical woman? I tend to hate both characters so either one works for me.

i nominate NBN and myself as guardians of the living