Ima Die Now, Right?
 

I just swallowed a big green housefly.

GACK!

Ima die now ain't I?

It was flyin around my monitor, I went for a half-hearted swat, made contact, and couldn't find it. I figured it flew along on it's merry way.

Then, a minute or two ago, I took another swig out of the glass on the desk (wtf, it's 5:00 somewhere, right?), and there was...how to describe it...a lump. A lump went cascading over my tongue. And down my throat.

I'd make myself throw up, but, throwing up makes me sick.

And now I keep hearing a tiny voice, deep down inside, saying "Help mee. Help meeee!"

That's my conscience, right? Please tell me it's my conscience.

Ew. Gack. Just ew!


Sent by thought transference

Quick Grav, you need to swallow a spider to catch it!

It's true. Not shitting you. Find a spider. STAT.

So long as there's no hook
- connected to a line
-- connected to a rod
--- connected to a fisherman,

you'll be fine.

Whiskey will make certain the bacteria in the bug are gone but you must drink lots of it immediately.

and then swallow a bird!

Swallow a cat to catch the bird!

To add a UT's answer, if it ends up in your stomach, your stomach acid will kill it.

Spray a big squirt of fly spray into your mouth, just to be safe.

So, the drink gave you a buzz. :D

Seems me and UT were the only two serious about helping Gravdigr.

Please please please tell me that was an attempt at humor, JS

It's only because we all quietly know that Grav's a dead man walking. Nothing you can do but be cheery, at that point. Don't let him know what's coming.

Yeah seriously, JS... I mean don't rub it in for the poor guy. Just make him as comfortable as possible... :comfort:

You're such a knob. :lol:

Rhianne for the win! The perfect answer!

If that's true then he was clean as soon as when he went in.

Caffeine-free Pepsi and Bird Dog Blackberry-flavored whiskey, 50/50.

:yum:

Negatatory...no :D. I don't think a swallowed insect is something to laugh at.

Then obviously you know something I don't.

Why can't I be an asshole? Like ya'll. :D

Also, the thing about yer stomach acid killing it is also true. I do my research.

I disagree. Accidentally swallowing insects is always funny.

If you don't walk around with your mouth gaping open like some mouth-breather you rarely eat bugs.

Hey!

I'm right here!

Since you haven't 'researched' the proper methods for mouth bug treatment I assumed it was just a fluke thing for you, grav...you're no mouth-breather.

yum?

I'd rather have the housefly. bleurgh.

Yeah, that sounds like a substitute for cough medicine if I ever heard of one. lol Yuck. Blackberry whiskey? Just yucky. lol

Nothing wrong with a little bug protein now and then. I'm sure there's some in your morning wheaties. And the green looks like vegetables.

Flavored Whiskey. No wonder you didn't want to "re-enjoy" it.

.

Oh, Bird Dog Blackberry is good stuff. No kidding. Very smooth. Just the subtlest hint of blackberry. Made just up the road, too.

Attachment 40550

Around $20 a fifth.

you was robbed :lol:

FIFY

Attachment 40560

LOL

Change the name to Bird Dog Crunchy and I'm in.

How about "Fly Dog"

That's so fly, dawwg!