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-   -   Withered Ol' Crones (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=28696)

Big Sarge 02-26-2013 07:07 PM

Withered Ol' Crones
 
I've been shocked to learn that the average age of our female dwellars is 40 or more. Isn't that the age you officially become an ol' crone? I know at age 30 women become haggard.

Is there a way the cellar could automatically ban females age 30 or more?? My son works for Medicaid and aspires to be on the Obamacare Death Panels. Maybe they could set up an euthanization program?

Just some of the random thoughts going through my mind

Aliantha 02-26-2013 07:12 PM

Some days I wish for a death squad to end my misery. Then I remember that I actually love life.

Where's this latest 'old crone' joke come from now? Do I have to go and read everything from the last 24 hours? lol

limey 02-26-2013 08:12 PM

We're only here because we're jealous of your perky boobs, Sarge :ggw:

Big Sarge 02-26-2013 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by limey (Post 854748)
We're only here because we're jealous of your perky boobs, Sarge :ggw:

I can tell you are envious. You should see me shake my booty! You see, men become distinguished as the age while women are over the hill at age 25.

regular.joe 02-26-2013 08:36 PM

I beg to disagree Sarge, the most hawtest most sexxy women I've met have been in the older category. You can have those self conscious, boney little girls. I prefer the women in the bunch. Oh and bone is for the dog...meat is for the man. I like em with curves.

BigV 02-26-2013 09:04 PM

preach it brother!

Big Sarge 02-26-2013 09:37 PM

I've been listening to the Gravdigr school of thought. But, Brother Grav is so right in his gospel. I think the only hope we have is the implementation of death panels.

Big Sarge 02-26-2013 10:09 PM

OMG, MTP is almost over the hill too! I think we need a young vibrant woman like Pensive Pam to lead us out of the darkness of the cellar

Trilby 02-26-2013 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sarge (Post 854750)
...while women are over the hill at age 25.

No, we don't become over the hill.


we become invisible. We become the hill itself. tramped on, excavated, but unloved and un-mourned, we become flat, like the landscape in some Bronte novel or dystopian universe. Pocked, marked, parts hang low that once were pretty and fresh. I think death at 25 or the "Pack of 28" is a rather good career choice. Die while you're young and beautiful. you know, you old man, Don't fear the reaper.

Big Sarge 02-26-2013 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sarge (Post 854772)
OMG, MTP is almost over the hill too! I think we need a young vibrant woman like Pensive Pam to lead us out of the darkness of the cellar

You mean you want her to come back?? Don't you remember her wild stories?

Big Sarge 02-26-2013 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sarge (Post 854774)
You mean you want her to come back?? Don't you remember her wild stories?

Of course I do! We need some young blood to stir things up. The cellar has been so sad and dark lately. Maybe we need to put higher wattage bulbs in our lights here. Anything to make the cellar brighter

Big Sarge 02-26-2013 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sarge (Post 854776)
Of course I do! We need some young blood to stir things up. The cellar has been so sad and dark lately. Maybe we need to put higher wattage bulbs in our lights here. Anything to make the cellar brighter

Well I could spring for a couple cans of paint. Maybe sea foam or a pale yellow??

Big Sarge 02-26-2013 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trilby (Post 854773)
No, we don't become over the hill.


we become invisible. We become the hill itself. tramped on, excavated, but unloved and un-mourned, we become flat, like the landscape in some Bronte novel or dystopian universe. Pocked, marked, parts hang low that once were pretty and fresh. I think death at 25 or the "Pack of 28" is a rather good career choice. Die while you're young and beautiful. you know, you old man, Don't fear the reaper.

Die young in a blaze of glory?

Big Sarge 02-26-2013 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sarge (Post 854779)
Die young in a blaze of glory?

No, I think she means the way mature women are overlooked in today's society. I totally disagree with this thought. Haven't you heard of cougars?? I bet some on here have very sharp claws

Big Sarge 02-26-2013 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sarge (Post 854781)
No, I think she means the way mature women are overlooked in today's society. I totally disagree with this thought. Haven't you heard of cougars?? I bet some on here have very sharp claws

I wonder if the cougar paints her claws or simply dips them in the blood of a fresh killl

Big Sarge 02-26-2013 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sarge (Post 854782)
I wonder if the cougar paints her claws or simply dips them in the blood of a fresh killl

Hmmm, that got me thinking. Do you remember the Great Dane you had to put down?? She had green painted nails

Big Sarge 02-26-2013 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sarge (Post 854783)
Hmmm, that got me thinking. Do you remember the Great Dane you had to put down?? She had green painted nails

Since when did we start putting down Scandinavians??

Big Sarge 02-26-2013 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sarge (Post 854784)
Since when did we start putting down Scandinavians??

You know what I meant

Trilby 02-26-2013 10:26 PM

They might be cougars, but they're still a size four and working hard on keeping up.

regular.joe 02-26-2013 10:27 PM

Entertaining, but you're starting to scare me a little Sarge.

Big Sarge 02-26-2013 11:27 PM

simply goofing around. what triggered this was trilbys comments on turning 50 this year. i'll be 53 in a couple of months. then, i thought it might be interesting to carry on a conversation with myself -good vs bad.

trilby, you are a cougar in my eyes. don't put yourself down. in fact, i am practically in love with all of the mature women on here. i far prefer a woman with some experience

BigV 02-26-2013 11:40 PM

goofing is hard to read in plaintext.

trust me, I know.

Aliantha 02-27-2013 12:17 AM

For a minute there I thought teh cellarwebz had gone all funni.

ZenGum 02-27-2013 12:53 AM

New TV Drama: Game of Crones, with Big Sarge playing all the male roles.

xoxoxoBruce 02-27-2013 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trilby (Post 854787)
They might be cougars, but they're still a size four and working hard on keeping up.

The fuck they are, you've been read too many trash novels or something. Real cougars come in all shapes and sizes, mostly size 14 and up. The only perky thing they have, is their attitude. It's not their looks, it's their spirit.

jimhelm 02-27-2013 01:22 AM

Youre not a real woman until someone comes out of your body and steps on your dreams.

DanaC 02-27-2013 06:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimhelm (Post 854810)
Youre not a real woman until someone comes out of your body and steps on your dreams.

Fuck you!

Sundae 02-27-2013 06:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimhelm (Post 854810)
Youre not a real woman until someone comes over your body and wipes it on the curtains.

FIFY.

Been considering anoter underwear photo.
Mostly for myself, so I can compare to the last time I was on a diet.
No longer have any pretty, matching sets though.
It would be like Readers' Wives in a really low grade porn-mag.
The kind where belly fat is de rigeur, and you expect knickers to have saggy elastic.

Readers' Please Take My Wife Off me in Heading South magazine maybe.


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