crappy father's day gifts
 

For mother's day, they push all sorts of shit that should be a regular household purchase -like a new vacuum cleaner or matching spatula set -not the sort of shit you give someone to show them you appreciate them, but crap to make their role for which you are thankful more interesting/efficient/something.

For father's day they push gadgets, gizmos and toys. No fair.

What would be the equivalent shit for fathers -not dodgy socks and monogrammed hankies but the stuff they use everyday in their stereotypical roles doing the shit they have to because no-one else will and it's expected of them?

new trash cans with built in weights to they can work out as they take out the garbage?

A special scoop for dead mice and other assorted corpses the cat brought in and they are expected to clean up?

A tie with a built in (color co-ordinated) drain snake? And a matching toilet plunger that fits neatly into his laptop case?

A robot to ground the kids when he gets home from work. The deluxe model could have a cupholder for his Scotch?

;)

I see your female angst. And I am afraid you've blundered into a no win bitchy corner.

You see, while a woman gets all bent when her man buys her a fancy vacuum cleaner, or a top of the line iron, the man is delighted with his snow blower or zero radius walk behind mower.

A reversible leaf blower to suck spiders from their lairs, would be nice.

Do they make kid-grounding, scotch-holding robots?

Edible jockey shorts which taste of Pinot Grigio? Pleasure for him and her (as long as he only slips into them straight from the chocolate scented shower).

A warm jacket which shrinks slightly in the cold/ wet, making it necessary to hand it over to an underdressed partner on a night out.

A trained spider to squeeze the spots on his back. Actually that's creepy rather than crappy.

@ no one in particular:

For Father's Day, how about stop bitching, grab the kids and disappear for five - six hours, leaving behind a freshly delivered pizza (none of that DiGiorno's shit), and a six pack. Show back up at eleven pm with unconscious kids, a rolled joint and a blow job?

Maybe I shoulda had kids, that sounds pretty damn good.

Except I want my bj first thing when I wake up.

right. toys :D

What if beest got you a vacuum sealer for food? Or a Belgian waffle iron?

you think those are toys?

but I'm not after an argument or even a discussion, I was just after some silly suggestions for crappy gifts, inspired by the difference in the type of products pushed in commercials for aforementioned hallmark holidays.



(I'm not beest's mama and we don't really do gifts for either so your question is moot ...oh and I'm not the primary foodificator. ;) )

It looks like guys like their home roles more than gals do. I stick to the flowers/candy routine for the Hallmark holiday. If we insist on gift giving then Pete should look here. I've recently had the irrational desire to teach myself to hand-hew beams.

That would be so cool. And really good exercise. Invest in some good steel toe and steel shank boots.

I understand when standing on a log and chopping at the top side of it with an adze, you want to aim about one-two inches beneath your big toe. Crazy.

And don't be this guy. I'm sure he's good, but we all make little mistakes from time to time. :eek:
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A vacuum sealer for food? How you gonna eat that? I think something like a sandwich would be better for food.

How do those people from Belgia make such great waffle irons, anyway? ;)

crazy.

and a good reminder why there are lots of log cabins and practically NO hand-hewn-beam cabins.

Sometimes I see cabins in lots, but sometimes they're tucked away in the woods.

Many of the hand hewn beam buildings you can't tell from the outside.

Notice how his toes are so curled up. I think he's afraid of losing them. haha

a vacuum sealer for food is for when you want to sou vide. Cooking at low temps in a water bath usually.

eta: I'd be happy if my family ever thought of these sorts of things for me.

I was thinking hand hewn timber framing but I have seen a fair number of hewn log houses. I think its a regional thing. The old barns around here have hand hewn frames, that's where my interest lies.

Hewn log houses are not uncommon in this area. It's a regional thing.

I'd love to have a log house. In fact, I have this idea of a cabin style home on the side of a hill that levels out where the back porch is, but as you walk into the house at the front/side, you walk into a huge open plan timber floored area with a couple of steps up to the kitchen on the front wall, then a fireplace at one side and the tv/entertainment at the other. The floor would be covered in rugs and mats and plenty of comfy lounges all over the place. Then there's a staircase on both ends of the room which lead to the bedroom and bathrooms upstairs, all of which open out onto a balcony which overlooks the main living area. Did I mention the entire back wall, which would open out onto a country vista, would be made of glass?

Sounds pretty neat huh?

This is my dream house.

Haggis @ Infi.

:)

Speaking of log homes...another of my dream homes is for sale. Seems really cheap to me, for the 5 acres and all the beauty. May as well be 2 million, for me, though. It's right across the road from my favorite park/reserve: Stillwater Prairie Reserve. Me want. Want want want. Maybe I won the lottery last night.

http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/95...34934093_zpid/

Shit, infi, that is a beautiful house. I'd get rid of the blue carpet and all the awful wainscoting wallpaper and the gross floral couches, but the bones of it are gorgeous.

wow,that's really beautiful and on five acres. very nice, and the price seems almost suspiciously low, not that I've a quarter million dollars in my other pants or anything....

very pretty place.

clod: yes, as my mom would have said, we'd need to de-frou frou it.

bigv: i wonder about the price too. seems awfully low. oh well, as you said, there's no quarter million buried in my yard...i mean, um, in the bank.

I thought it was just a Middle vs. Coast thing. That will get you a one bedroom condo here, in a bad neighborhood.

Well, there are other estate type places going for 1 or 2 million. Price is most definitely driven by the area, but even considering that I would have expected...I don't know, probably half a million. This is based on part on my many many many perusals of local real estate (big dreams, little pockets.)

And we have a winner! Lowes (Canada) was advertising Mulch as a potential father's day gift on the radio this morning. (Lowes is a home improvement/DIY/garden center type of store for those who need to know).

Mulch?!

FTW.

Must've been out of caulking.