Death By a Thousand Cuts
 

As I am working my way around my house I find it has suffered "death from a thousand cuts"; the majority of what is broken/damaged in the house is in the sub-ten dollar repair range, but the number of sub-ten problems is enormous. The aerator in the sink is missing, the rocker switch on the lights for the range hood is broken, the lights are out in the range hood, two of the refrigerator door shelves are missing, the knobs on the range are broken, multiple small (smaller than fist, bigger than finger) holes in the walls, noxious weeds over-taking all the established beds, broken window pane in the potting shed, broken mullion strip, (How the fuck do you break a mullion strip?) pull cord on the mower broken… and on and on. Then there are the more expensive repairs...
There’s cute clumsy and pathological klutziness. She is in the latter camp. None of her destruction is deliberate or consciously perpetrated, it's a part of her mental illness, same as her mother, to be surrounded by broken things, and to fuck up anything that is nice and new.

But it’s a new regime and the kids are being taught to keep things up front and touching. Taking a page from Milton Erickson’s book, I wait until they are all very comfy doing something they really like and then I summon them to the infraction in question with a loving smile and plenty of good cheer and remind them that they need to put the towel on the hook or their clothes in their hamper or the milk back in the fridge. We’ll see if they eventually learn to do things preemptively in order not to be drawn from their favorite activities.

I’ll let you know how this works out.
Anything chaos inducing, destructive, or grime creating was embraced by the old regime, not so much with the new regime.

I'll take this one at random. All of them are wtf, but I can't really understand this. Let's say a bunch of sandy grit gets in the aerator and blocks the flow a little bit. That's the only reason to remove an aerator. So she reaches for a wrench and pulls the aerator off. This is a fair amount of work. You have to go find a wrench. You have to figure out which way to turn the aerator, and it's confusing because it's upside down and you have to turn it the wrong way. After successfully going through all that trouble, the next step of cleaning the grit out of the aerator is so effortless, why would you set the aerator aside where it would get lost? A faucet without an aerator splatters water all over the place. I'd rather have restricted flow than that splatter. I just don't see how you could get into that situation and stay there.

I mean, it's only an aerator, but wtf?

So you moved back into your house? Did she move out? Are you living in that house with your kids, then? How long were you gone? She broke all that stuff in what amount of time? What's a mullion? Do I ask too many questions? Are these questions annoying you? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? What does it mean to 'chuck wood'? Can you chuck things besides wood, like a felt tip pen or something? Can you chuck a wall? Is that why there are holes in the wall?

I wait these here for answers, when time is that you have when to answer them.

(and congrats on getting your home back, though I don't understand the 'stances.)

A mullion is the thin strip of wood that separates the individual panes of glass in a window that has multiple panes of glass.

Oh, thanks. I thought it was maybe the hairstyle of the masses in the 80s.

Nope, the next step in death to the offender, bam, right in the trash. No though to, or understanding of, future consequences. Goes with the illness.

I'll admit it, when I was younger I removed and subsequently threw out an aerator. We have hard water around here, and the aerators don't get blocked with rinse-able sand, but calcium and lime buildup. They're a pain to clean if you don't have a bottle of CLR-equivalent handy. And when they're clogged, they don't just restrict flow, they cause that same splattery horribleness that an un-aerated flow does, only perhaps moreso. So I tossed it, and said to myself, "I'll go to Home Depot and get another one of those..." Except ultimately we replaced the whole faucet fixture before I managed to get around to it.

Now we have a whole-house water filter, so it doesn't happen nearly as often, and when it does I know how to use the CLR.

Oh, I just remembered, I had another one snap in my fingers as I was trying to clean it. It just got too old and brittle. But that time I got myself a replacement.

Au contraire, mon frere!

There are times, my good man, when one wishes to indulge in a certain activity, a rite, if you will, where one requires a bowl of fine herb to burned, with the resulting gasses/fumes/vapors to be inhaled, and held until one's mind is, once again, at ease, and then, exhaled.

Occasionally, the pipe needs a new screen.

:blunt:

I'm with Infi on the questions. Except mullion - I heard some friends use another word entirely today for that, began with A, can't remember what they said. And the haircut - mullet. But y'all knew that :)


Sent by thought transference

foot, sounds like she did to your house in a year or so, what my husband is capable of in a weekend.

Mullions and muntins.

Oh yeah, my husband likes to think his ineptitude is funny. I think he's finally starting to realise that I expect a real man to make more of an effort.

That sounded really cunty

Yep. I am a real bitch of a woman sometimes. I think at the moment i have admitted to myself that i am not happy, so all the things that i used to just live with just seem really fucking annoying and pathetic right now. I am hoping these feelings will pass. Till then, you will all have to put up with my bitching for a bit. Sorry.

If you have a cunt does that make you cunty?
If Ali's post read "Oh yeah, my husband likes to think his ineptitude is funny. I think he's finally starting to realise that I expect a him to make more of an effort" would that be cunty?

Jim how is Ali's attitude cunty and Foot's attitude not?
I have no issue with either of their comments/ approaches.

WSS^


Sent by thought transference

A real woman would be more demure than you are acting here.

Go ahead, knock yourself out.
Both women and men are generalised in every day conversation and on this forum. Check out Flint's recent posts, which have been supported by men as indicative of the behaviour of women. And women do the same, although I think less on this forum than I've heard suggested happens in real life (dunno, never in my groups of friends is all I can say.)

I think all we can do it take each situation on its merits and deal with the people we know. LJ doesn't know Dazza. He knows Ali. If he thinks Ali is a cunt then that's his opinion. But he might think Daz was a dick if he knew him too.

I dislike the word used and the immediate "us against them" reaction.
Is all.

no, i don't think so. it was the 'real man' part of it that came over cold

i didn't say ali is cunty. i said that SOUNDED really cunty. you disagree?

Yes. Yes. Half the week, 3-2-2. One year. One year. An 80s hairstyle. No. No. 2.5 CuYd. It's slang for fapping, I think. Yes. No. No. Yes.

The difference is that I did not play the "Real woman/man" card.

and minions. Oh my.

Ali,

First this is not a shot at you, rather an actual honest suggestion/ recommendation.

Did you ever hear of a book called "Loving What Is'?
It might be useful to you in some degree. Daz is a real man. Just as real as when you met him. Your expectation is what has changed, from what I've heard.

And that's all you can truly control.

foot, thanks for your answers. It sounds like a good situation for you.

I am starting a Mullion Man March, and mulletted peoples from everywhere will come together to walk and to express the indignities they've felt and show their hope for the future...they'll walk through the pane and see the light.

(I don't know, I think I'd be a great candidate as narrator for an episode of Drunk History, and I'm not even currently drunk! Also, you must watch some episodes of the show...it's my new thing.)

Really, I'm happy for you. :)

I'd join the Mullion Man March. lol

what an asshole thing to say.

Are we experimenting with ways to call names without actually calling names now?

Grow up. If I wanted to call her cunty, I would have. If you want to call me an asshole, say it.

Holy moly, I think they're gonna screw.

:corn:

Don't make me come down there for you either, tough guy.

Get Brett Weir, I said!

[twocents] I think telling your man he isn't a 'real man' is akin to a man telling you that you're a poor excuse for a woman. And both are totally disrespectful, and degrading. Meaner than the normal ' well fuck you ya asshole' or 'bite me, bitch.' It's where you reach way down to the bottom of the insult bag to question their role in humanity, and how they stack up to others of your gender...like you're just waiting for that 'real man' or 'real woman' to come along, and you're currently settling for a subhuman. Something most of us don't need as we question our fitness for society every day anyway. If you can't have respect in your relationship, you ain't gonna have anything. [/twocents]

This is all generally speaking and just my view. Your mileage will absolutely vary. ;)

let me try to answer your question with words you seem to understand: I didn't say lumberjim was an asshole, I said it was an asshole THING TO SAY.
jfc are you too stupid to see the difference or are you too thin skinned to take what you dish out?


the cold-sounding "cunty" part to which you objected was "real man"; however, she's acknowleded his manly reality, she's saying his effort is lacking. the other way around sounds like: the effort he's putting forth is that of a child/clown/not-real-man. which, let's face it, you read as "less than a man" you can't seriously be suggesting that aliantha thinks dazza's not really a man, can you??


lj, you're a man, a real man. you have a heart, brains and an asshole. we've seen all those parts of you at one time or another; this time, it was the asshole that was on display.

After that can we have a million mullion march, or would that be a pane?

y'know, maybe I was wrong. I thought I knew what lj meant by "cunty", a word I'd never heard before, but took in context to mean something like the root "cunt" that the adjective closely resembles. But as I thought about it more, I decided to look it up. It turns out, to my astonishment, "cunty" is not only a real word, but that it's recently been added to the Oxford English Dictionary.


maybe lj tried to offer some some feedback, saying that ali's remark was "highly objectionable or unpleasant", and simply chose the most insulting-sounding way possible to do so.
by the way, I looked up "asshole" too. I meant it the way it's defined:

in that case, I still object to the insult.

A Million Mulletted Mullion Minions, so to speak. :p:

Fuck you ed

Clone thread : death by a thousand cunts

Wow, what a furor caused by a woman having a bitch to her friends about an issue she's been having with her husband. lol

Sometimes i think you lot dont have enough other stuff to argue about. Haha

Seriously though, my husband is quite clueless about home maintenance. A thing i never knew about him till quite some time after we married due to the fact that my home had always been well maintained. I come from a family of handymen. It is extremely frustrating to be with someone who cant even mow the lawn properly.

That's it right there, real men eat pussy and --

What do you mean it's not Aussie slang for that?

>laff Ali< I am married to Mr Unhandy, my solution was to be the handy one. Now if he does not vacuum the floor and finish the dishes I will be the cunty one ;)

They're all on report for talking about cunt and pussy when they know poor ol' Flint is going through withdrawal. It's a cold, cold Cellar.

Me too Nirvana, and I can cope, and I teach my kids also, so that their future wives don't have to be in my position. Problem is, he doesn't do housework either. He basically goes to work, goes fishing and sits on his arse. My increased levels of frustration are associated with trying to start up this business etc. When all i had to do was look after the kids and home it was not such a big deal. Now I have less time, and I'm tired and cranky. That's about it.

WAIT A MINUTE!

You've seen my asshole? I haven't seen it since I was a little kid. How'd you see it?


seriously though, Vaj, since I have a bit more time now... though the fuck you was sincere, I was busy at work at the time. sorry... sore subject for you, i know. But I've been thinking about your overreaction to my comment, and I've decided that I should overreact too. so here goes, dickless:

I was pointing out to Ali that what she said sounded cunty. those were the words I used. 'That sounded really cunty'. I didn't say that's a cunty thing to say. I didnt say 'you're a cunt for saying that'. I was just pointing out that it came over cold.

as for you, though. you ARE a cunt. you can pick whichever ...urban dictionary, oxford, scrabble dictionary definition you like. what I mean specifically is that you are tentative, smarmy, passive aggressive, judgmental, and pedantic. and you smell like fish.

I've decided. I had a vote, and it was unanimous. CUNT cunt CUnt. 3 nil

You say that's an asshole thing to say. I'm not too thin skinned or stupid to get it. I DID, as it happens, understand the difference. I thought I had pointed it out. You were pushing the edge of what I said. you framed it differently, but the intention was clearly to call me an asshole. ...more clearly than any intent I had of calling Ali cunty. hence my use of the word 'experimenting' ... how close to calling me an asshole can you come ....without actually calling me an asshole?

AS for calling me stupid goes? I'm smarter than you. I am. In several ways. but the most relevant way at this time is that I'm smarter with my sense of people. I get them more quickly and accurately than you do. I don't over analyze things the way you do. I don't think twice before speaking. I'm more honest. you're whole vibe is contrived. It smacks of effort. effort tinged with desperation.

so, keep my name out of your mouth from now on, huh? I don't want to be your friend.

Ali, I'm sorry if you interpreted what I said as my calling YOU cunty.

I said it like a friend. pointing out that his friend may have come across a little cunty. Like saying, 'you've got a booger' or 'you're being kind of obnoxious, settle down.'

I wasn't offended Jim. I was being bitchy. You were right on that point.

V, honestly, I'm not as fragile as you might think. While I appreciate you trying to protect me, I'm ok. Don't worry about it. :)

Ali, you married an academic, a scientist, as I recall. They're a useless bunch, that's why they get paid more so they can hire real men to fix their shit. :bolt:

Yeah well, unfortunately they dont get paid that much. Popular misconception really. I still have to fix my own shit.

I should have married a tradesman.

Or married a woman, to help with the house and kids while your busy with the business. ;)

He is what any man would do in a committed relationship. All of you women on here need to shut your mouths and get back in the kitchen.

I would get up slap on my apron and rubber gloves this minute if my unhandy man would fix the fucking kitchen sink. ;)

lol nice Sarge. Get outside and mow the fucking grass, and while you're at it, trim the edges and do the hedges...and make sure they're straight and neat. I dont want any scraggly bits!!!

yes ma'am Anything else you need me to do, you let me know ma'am. I didn't get this old without knowing who really rules the roost.

Haha...smart man.

I'm as handy as they come (just don't even)

I'm handy as fuck and it hasn't helped me get laid, lain, or scrod.

Where's the love?

Wtf? Ya don't need no sink to fix a sammitch...


...ohputthatgunawayI'mkiddin'.

If someone fixed my sink all I would be wearing is the rubber gloves and the apron ;)

Alas, you are married.
:(

Like that would stop you. What you meant to ask was how long do you have to get there.

Oh, it wouldn't stop me, but I'm pretty sure it would stop her.:blush: