Going Forward
 

Going Forward, I will be keeping track of how many cow orkers use the phrase "going forward" It's driving me nucking futs. it's is WORSE than like the teenagers who like don't even, right?

start using your own annoying preamble.

Say, 'Being Honest' before every declaration. Or, Irregardless... or .....Ostensibly.

Or 'at the end of the day...'

I was ready to drive off the road while listening to Tom Ashbrook's program On Point because he kept saying "unpack this"

WTF is wrong with the word explain?

The kids picked this up from a friend's mom, "No offense, but..." except they never used it properly. I finally got them to knock it off by explaining that what ever comes next is going to be offensive, you know it is going to be offensive, and therefore shouldn't say it, thus negating the need for "No offense, but..."

Business-speak threatens all of us. I spent a short time in the Big Consulting arena in the 90s. It was important to forge enormous amounts of bullshit to convince business managers that it was a good idea to fly a team of experts to Cleveland, at enormous expense, for six weeks, to upgrade their operating systems. I didn't write the following... but it's perfect:


Why did the chicken cross the road?

Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

That kind of shit has infected education and academia as well. All project proposals have to come with 'impact assessments' that are just a nightmare of bullshit.

That's because the mindset is such that, at the end of the day, core competency dictates we buy-in to the best practices. No one is willing to punt, or think outside the box, to take it to the next level. Everyone thinks they're giving it 110%, but in reality they're boiling the ocean, and only going after the low-hanging fruit.

Shaw, have I told you that I love you lately?

That was a gorgeous effort.

Amanda won on the conference call. She already annoyed the crap out of me, so in a way I'm glad it was her. *shudder*

Going Forward, we will be looking to maximize revenue by breaking out the letters of the phrase and cross-merchandising them, effecting their full potential.

#2 on my hate; lst of currentmanagementterms is "Team". Cow Orkers has so much more potential then TMs.

so first email in the list this morning... from the boss....


Team,

Going Forward, we........

Tell 'em you find the term "team' derogatory; because, mules working together are called a team. Hand 'em a box of 20 Mule Team Borax and say you'd prefer to be addressed as "crew."

That'll throw them for a loop.

so, moving on...

I don't know how Tom was using it, but "unpack" ought to be used more like "explore the consequences of" than "explain". Though it probably used as "explain" quite a bit.

It's been a big buzzword in churches and faith scholarship for quite a few years now, i.e. "unpacking the scriptures." The implication being that everything one needs can be found within, and there are no flaws, but it may nonetheless appear confusing or contradictory until it is taken apart and fully examined from every angle. It's not that they're out-of-date or irrelevant, they're just packed up in a certain way we're not used to.

UNPACK! I love it. I'mm'a use that in my next conference call and see how quickly it catches on.

We sent a strong email to the math teacher and principal at the kid's school. Firstly the math teacher shocked us with admissions of unbelievable incompetency.....then his next email started "Going Forward" :facepalm:

Going Forward, we should reach out to other team members to help them unpack the various aspects of the learning curve so they can grow.

I've heard people use (and have used) the term 'unpack' in education. I think it is a useful word - but it does often seem incorrectly used.

To me, 'unpack' doesn't just mean explain, or clarify - it means that problem or concept needs to be taken apart to be understood.

I am, probably, guilty of having used the phrase 'going forward' - that's less forgivable :P But even then - it has a particular emphasis. Usually, in a meeting, it is a way to draw a line. So - maybe you've spent twenty minutes wrangling about the missed goals in the development plan - and now it's time to stop going round in circles and come up with a solution.

haven't heard "going forward"... Most recently got annoyed by people repetitively saying "I'm not gonna lie", quite a few of them, and often...

WTF is that? And why would anyone declare that? The next person who's "Not gonna lie", I am going to just visit them in their residence and say "I am not going to steal" whenever they want to look away or go to the bathroom.

I'm not gonna lie, means I'm going to state the truth as I know/see it, without regard to your feelings.

That would actually make sense if they used it like that, but the way I've heard people using it is more "I am not gonna lie, this game/movie/book/pub/programmingLanguage/university is awesome!" or "I'm not gonna lie, I was sick all weekend"... It kind of seems arbitrary.

It's to reaffirm the truth of the following statement.

That's what I thought. Still don't like it though - brings to mind the "pant's on fire" Syndrome.

I'm betting they don't give a shit what you like. :lol2:

Some do, some don't. Generally I wasn't thinking about using an "I don't like it" broadcast as a means to end it. Why? Was that the plan with "Going forward" or "Unpack" or "Team" Or any of the phrases people brought up? :eyebrow:

I have to agree that "I'm not gonna lie" is a redundant statement imo.
But I use more than a few myself.

If the ones that do still say it, they don't.

When I hear that statement, it makes me wonder what the speaker's doing when they're not saying it.

If you have say that explicitly, what other conclusions can be drawn?

Without the preamble you have to determine whether they are being glib, factious, earnest, or a host of other possibilities... unless the bailiff has sworn them in.

How would that be any different with it? What's the logic here? "They might lie but not about whether they are gonna lie"...?

The only thing you might miss from not saying is it their attempt to emphasize how genuine the next statement is for them... If you happen to be horribly tone deaf.

Dude, you guys are nuts. The statement has nothing to do with declaring honesty. It's a functional apology.

"I know society says I should keep this to myself, but I can't."

It's no different than, "I'm sorry, but..." or "The truth is..." or "Look, I don't want to be the bad guy here, but..."

Very little of what we say is really redundant - maybe a few filler words or verbal tics. It might be redundant in terms of one level of meaning, but it still adds something to the communication.

I remember my German tutor at the Goethe Institute explaining the word 'doch' and how it is used to add emphasis or stress ( I believe the term is 'emphatic particle'). I barely remember the explanation - but I do remember him describing that kind of word or phrase as 'seasoning' language.

Always stuck with me that.

True... But taking on the metaphor of seasoning, if what you say is cooking for those you are speaking too, shouldn't you judge it effect on them for whether it was a good choice seasoning? I mean, I like Marmite, but I do realize most people don't know what it is and most of those who do can't stand it, so I am probably not going to put Marmite sandwiches on something I made for everyone at a dinner party....

Though the comparison kind of breaks there - and I guess the breaking point makes it's own point. The meal is probably more for the eaters then the cook. The statement can often be more for the speaker then the audience. It might be redundant because it doesn't tell the listener anything new in the meaning of the statement, but it might say something about the state of the person saying it.

Or my favourites, "Can I say something without you being offended...?" and "I don't mean to be rude, but..."

I cut off a cow-orker once who always said, "I don't mean to be rude but..." I cut her off with "You do mean to be rude." and she was.

My favourite, particularly in political meetings, was always 'with [the greatest] respect'. A barb on the blade.

It can also be used genuinely, of course - usually in the third person (with the greatest respect to X, I disagree with his assessment .... etc).

I love that! :cool: