Warn Your Children about Books
 

Don't let them get Hooked-on-Books.™ An innocent Dr Seuss, or Shel Silverstein, can lead to a lifelong habit of the book junkie. Hanging around sleazy dive libraries, consuming paperbacks in the alley while looking furtively for someone who might reveal their corruption. Just say no.
If you don't believe me, listen to the great minds from the past...

Books are fatal: they are the curse of the human race. Nine-tenths of existing books are nonsense, and the clever books are the refutation of that nonsense. The greatest misfortune that ever befell man was the invention of printing.” — Benjamin Disraeli

“The multitude of books is making us ignorant.” — Voltaire

“We live in an age that reads too much to be wise.” — Oscar Wilde

“The multitude of books is a great evil. There is no measure or limit to this fever of writing; everyone must be an author, some for some kind of vanity to acquire celebrity and raise a name, others for the sake of lucre or gain.” — Martin Luther

“There are times when I think that the reading I have done in the past has had no effect except to cloud my mind and make me indecisive.” — Robertson Davies

“The road to ignorance is paved with good editions.” — Bernard Shaw

If you fail to protect your child from this scourge, Nelson will point you out in public and say, "HA HA"

"Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH" is the one that hooked me. I was 8, or, 9 years old. It's been downhill ever since.

Rats in the National Institute of Mental Health? At a young age that's a scary thought. No wonder you avoid mental health. http://cellar.org/2012/bwekk.gif

In my world, mental health is about as attainable as a Lamborghini Veneno.

For me, it was World Book Encyclopedia.

Oh, I used to read the shit out of those...granted, they were my grandma's and about 20 years old, but no matter.

For me it was Janet and John.
As soon as I realised Laura could do something I couldn't, I wanted in on it. Never looked back.

When I read To Kill a Mockingbird (years later, obvs) I identified with Scout immediately - no-one asked me if I liked breathing; reading was that essential.

I read comics before and was read too as a child, but the first novel I remember getting into was Poul Anderson's Brain wave. I think I was about 10-11ish.

You people prove my point, the danger of books, getting children hooked on the filthy habit. Just say no.http://cellar.org/2012/nono.gif

Every page of every volume.

Attachment 53330

When I was 14.:cool:

Vintage ~1965, btw.

How appropriate... "Muscle and Shovel" on Gravdigr's top book shelf ;)

Yeah, I bought a set in '66 and everyone rolled their eyes (except the ones who laughed outright), when I made the mistake of telling them.
But I have to admit they ruined my TV watching. I'd park my ass in a comfy chair and usually before a half hour was up someone on the TV would mention something I didn't know about and had to look it up, like a prehistoric Google. Especially bad when the news or quiz shows were on. I became a veritable cesspool of information, clear as mud, but it covered the ground.

When I was maybe 11, my dad cleaned out his childhood home to sell it, and brought home his World Book set from when he was a kid. It was probably from the early 50s and was in black and white. Many of the entries were outdated, but I still loved to read it.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was my gateway drug. I broke my arm and dislocated my shoulder during the first week of first grade. My father read me a chapter every night.

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Ah Ha, so that's what attracted you to the dark side. See people, see what I was warning you about? :haha:

I don't remember which book hooked me. I was already reading by the time I went to nursery school - cue several years of having to follow the fucking reading programme, reading books that were dull and basic, and going through the rigamarole of reading a segment to the teacher and doing spelling tests so they could sign off on that level. To be fair to them, they occasionally jumped me a few levels - but there was a fuck of a lot of uninspiring make-work reading at school. I'd be sat waiting to take my turn reading aloud to teacher, from a book about a dog playing with his ball and then going home to read My Naughty Little Sister books, or the Faraway Tree.

I do remember being completely addicted to Enid Blyton for a time. First the younger books - like the Faraway Tree, or the Wishing Chair - then the Famous Five, or the Adventure series. And I also recall The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe series of books really got under my skin.

I was addicted to books by the time I was 4 or 5. I remember many early reading experiences - but the books themselves are a kind of wave. Each flurry of addiction, to an author, or to a series, or type of book I remember - but what came first and when I really don't know. I have vague recollections of the Hungry Caterpillar and a couple of fairy tale pop-up books - but don;t know if I am recalling the first time I read them or the many times I revisited.

Ah...Charlie & The Chocolate Factory...:rolleyes:

It's a miracle you weren't found out. If the government has caught wind of it, you'd be posting from a far corner of the Empire. They couldn't take a chance on you corrupting the other worker-bees-to-be. ;)

Volume S was soooo big! Gravdir, those are the very ones, and your picture brought a palpable wave of nostalgia. I spent a lot, really a lot of time between the covers of those doorways to the universe. I remember that time as fondly as any childhood memory I have.

I should also add that I spend a lot of time in the dictionary, though I can't recall exactly which one. It was big, but not too big to hold in my lap. It wasn't the OED, for example. The dictionary? you say? Yes, whenever I didn't know what a word meant in my reading, and there were countless times that happened, I learned to look it up in the dictionary. Dad said to look it up in the dictionary. I know, because asking Dad "what does xyz mean?" **always** produced the answer "look it up".

Gee. thanks Dad, I sure am glad I have you here to teach me stuff. I said in my (mind) fit of pre-adolescent pique. But I still contend I have grounds for complaining when I got that same answer to the question "Dad, how do you spell xyz?". Still didn't work. "Look it up."

:facepalm:

And a trip to the dictionary was never rewarded with learning just one word, never. One word would lead to another interesting word, and that would lead to another interesting definition, lather, rinse, repeat. The dictionary and the encyclopedia reinforced each other, reading one showed me stuff I didn't know that I had to look up in the other one, etc, etc. A very virtuous and verbose cycle.

Thanks Dad!

Books can lead to evil acts, like this...

For a book to generate such an evil act, it must, indeed, be a most evil book

Ah Bruce, that was glorious.

Outstanding!

Dittoes!

I still have my "Big Ol' Dictionary" from when I was a fairly young kid. It's from about 1955 (Thank you, Grandmadigr!), but, I don't think I've ever tried to look up a word that wasn't in there.

Books are a scam:

Attachment 53557

:eek:

The earliest book I recall reading by the nightlight after I was told to go to bed: http://www.amazon.com/Henriette-Stor...dp/0590412183/

I'm sure there were earlier ones, but this was the addicting one. Now, I own close to 500 actual books. They are taking over my life. Save yourself!! :sniff: :rolleyes:

I did, I did save myself, packed them all up, several bookcases full, and gave them to Goodwill. There's still several boxes in the attic, but I bolted the door so they can't sneak down in the night. :unsure:

I think you're being overly cautious, xoB. I mean, what threat do books represent to you anyhow? You already know everything, right?

:p:

The sneaky devils will ambush your toes on the way to the bathroom in the dark, or stack up and topple on you when your back is turned. They'll also engross you so you don't hear the smoke alarm, or forget to pickup your wife who's standing in a freezing rain waiting. I read it in a book. :crone:

I bow to your surpassing knowledge.

:notworthy