The Pope is coming, the Pope is coming...
 

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Pope Francis is comin' to town... and it'll be a clusterfuck.

They immediately started throwing around speculation that three million will come to see him. Over two days he'll do a mass which is invitation only with 1600 tickets, visit Independence Hall, private meeting with Bishops, visit a prison, but the biggie is give a speech to the masses on the parkway.

Philly, being the city of brotherly love, said we have a plan. From Friday till Monday noon, we'll close off half the city, and part of west Philly, to vehicles coming in. If you go out, you stay out. We'll also close I-76, I-676, and the Ben Franklin Bridge, one of the two major bridges to Jersey. I-95 will be open but most of the exits closed.

In addition, all trolley and bus traffic will halt in the "Pope Zone", estimating the average visitor will be forced walk two miles. South Jersey says they'll have every cop, dick, and harry making sure nobody parks illegally. In order to come into the city by light rail, you better have your ticket by now and many of the stations will be closed.

Last week they announced the parkway where the Pope addresses the masses, will be fenced. You'll need a ticket which are being distributed to the parishes for distribution to the rich and pious. Some will go to the connected of other religions. So after you've parked where they'll tow it and charge a kings ransom to bail it, once you find out where it is and get there, you walk two miles, and won't be able to get within a half mile of the Pope.

You who have been around the Cellar forever may remember me writing about Kenny, lead guitar for a band that practiced at my house. He had won a contest by a radio station to play on stage with Creed when they came to town.
Anyway, Kenny started a sound company and has been working concerts and gatherings all over the area for years. Well Kenny won the contract to do the PA system for the Pope and feed the networks from his board. But first he had a one hour interview with the FBI. Then a one hour interview with the NSA. Then a one hour interview with the CIA. Shit's getting real.

Meh, he's just a guy with a funny hat. And that is all he is.

The pope, not Kenny. Kenny sounds pretty cool.

J and I determined that it is really hard to pronounce the invented term "pope-apocalypse".

Go ahead and try, you can't pronounce it.

popecalypse. See, nothin' to it. :haha:

This is true.

Bill O'Reilly agrees:

Attachment 53298

pope-apocalypse ...or popecalypse?

The second one is harder to pronounce. But I can pronounce both well enough I think

Sure you can. Prove it.

I went around to people's offices with a post-it with the word on it and asked people to quickly say it. Everyone laughed. 100% success.

Better suggestion:

Popestorm.

Pope-apalooza.

popetastrophy


popecalypse is for when he passes in front of the sun, partially or completely obscuring it from our sight.

I lean more towards pope-ocalypse

Me too.

I'm liking popetastrophe.

Popostrophe

like one of these: '
but with a pointy hat

Yeah - that's good. How bout popetastrophic?



I was answering Grav and hadn;t seen glatt's post. I like that a lot. Someone needs to make a proper popostrophe mark that we can use.

Francisopoalypse

Pope - Preposterous

Popeosterous!!

We've been going negative from the getgo.

Popetacular.Attachment 53328

He seems like a nice old man. So I can get on board with a little positivism.

I should really figure out when he's coming to DC. I'm sure I'll be impacted one way or another.

He's only coming to Philly which is why it's a pope-apocalypse... two weeks away...

Except that everyone around here seems to think they over-planned and over-dramatized it and nobody will be showing up!

The Uber-Catholics in my office are not going, afraid it will be a terrorist event

I don't really understand, because as True Believers, if they die they will be going to heaven and certainly if they are involved in a mass or similar event...

They also seem to not like this pope at all. Beliefs are hard!

He'll be in DC from the afternoon of the 22nd through the afternoon of the 24th, when he goes to NYC. Then he goes to Philly.

The worst will be when he goes to St. Patrick's on the 24th in the late morning. That's only two blocks from my office. Ugh.

Pope and Walking Man, meeting on the street.
Pope says, "Walking Man! This is such a treat"
Security says, "Pope, St Pats awaits your feet.
FBI says, "Get that Walking Man, we must beat"

Well shit add that to the list of things I don't know

The first instant I read that I thought "He's gonna be here til St. Patrick's Day?!?!"

That would be one helluva Vatication.<---I like making up words.:D

He is a couple notches higher on the Coolness Of The Pope Scale than most popes. He rode a motorsickle, after all.

And it was a Harley.

:cheerldr:

And he was a bouncer. :D

The lapopeompalous of love. He's a picker, he's a grinner, he's a biker, he's a sinner.... Oh, wait....

OMG I love Vatication!
And I fear I'll never get the chance to use it in conversation.

This is all very well, but what I want to know is, will the Pope pontificate?

Grr.

I just read in this morning's paper that part of Metrorail's plan in handling the crowds is that they hope lots of people will telecommute that day. If the regular commuters stay home, the delays will only be an hour or two long.

This is also the time of Jewish holy days, and my boss, who is Jewish, will want me to be sure to come in that day to cover for her when she is out. I think I need to be here.

It's kind of a shame he's not morbidly obese...Hippopopeamus!!

:jig:

Yeah, that's a good one.:thumb:

Ferchristsakes glatt, why the fuck didn't you plan on taking the day off the instant you heard about this? At least run it by your boss to see if they balk. Hell, they might decide to tell everyone to stay home.

Sleep there the night before. Set up a tent, roast marshmallows over an electrical hot plate, make a night of it.

I've been calling it pope a palooza. I made a conscious decision not to get credentialed to work mental health crisis for the event because I would have to commit to sleeping in some high school gym from Tuesday to Monday. The Diva don't play that. Also my first responsibility is to my own county. I will probably be at the emergency operations center all weekend. I'll know the plan next week.

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Delaware County officials say they are now planning for 40% less SEPTA traffic at 69th street!!

Will it be a bust??

I hope it's a bust.

Yesterday the mayor asked DC workers to stay home if they can. She didn't make it official, but she's pushing. There is going to be a popemobile parade just a couple blocks from me, and tons of street closures, and the security checkpoints open at 4am, so pope tourists are being asked to start getting in early, before the 11am parade. That means they will be disrupting my morning metro ride. They don't have any idea how many people are coming, but all officials are saying there will be major delays.

And the kicker is that I just found out at the end of the day yesterday that I have to do a 45 minute training that morning for new attorneys. They scheduled that training on Yom Kippur, so my Jewish boss who was supposed to do it, will be out, and I need to be here to do it instead. I have to come up with 45 minutes worth of material. Who schedules training during a pope visit and Yom Kippur? WTF?

Yeah. You'd think they'd look forward to being "in a better place".;)

The coverage is getting as annoying as the lead up to an election. :yeldead:

Aren't any of the incommoding lawyers jewish? :eyebrow:

:lol2:...Incommoding...:lol2:


ETA: :lol2:...Holy shit it's a word!...:lol2:

I thought he was a victim of autocorrect.

You were right the first time. That word isn't in my vocrabilaarry. :haha:

Po-pa-ca-lypse.

Huh. That wasn't too hard.

Popacalypse.

Use it ten times and it's yours! (apologies to Word Power from Reader's Digest)

I'm flying out of Philly on the 20th for a fishing trip to MN. Returning the 26th... THAT should be fun.

Yeah, I'm leaving PA also. Don't want the Pope and his exorcists hunting me down. :unsure:

I don't remember such craziness for JP2's visit to St. Louis in '99. I know 9/11 has changed a lot of things, but the nuttiness in Philly right now seems like just that.

I just had to explain to a confused young lad why the presence of the word "festival" in the "Festival of Families" did not mean he should be going to the Parkway Mass drunk with his buddies for fun.

"It's not mayhem. It's not a spectacle. It's church services. Unless maintaining in front of gramma is a sport, this will not be a good time for you."

So what created this nuttiness? A change in public attitudes? A public response to this pope? Or how government has responded to this event?

The FBI, the CIA, and the NSA. Well at least 85% from their top management.

JP2 was old and busted. Francis is the new hotness.

What would happen if the Curia came to vist. Could they make security tight enough? Or would they leave it to the Mafia to protect their interests?

I dunno, UT...us Catholics like a good party. Shit, we drink at weekly bingos we hold at our churches.

Winner winner chicken dinner!

JP2 was pretty popular though.

Woo Hoo!

My part of the training got postponed until the next week. I was supposed to lead a panel, and nobody was willing to be on the panel because of the popacolypse. So we told the lady who organized the training, and she's going to reschedule our part. Finally, some sanity.

If my firm is open, I'm staying home. If my firm is closed, I'm staying home.

Movie rentals will prolly be through the roof the night before.

Watch the popepocalypse unfold in real time.

Open up google maps with traffic turned on centered on Andrews base just to the East of DC and pull up the map tracking his flight from Cuba.



Attachment 53469

Strange. His aircraft has just done a 360 north of Jacksonville at 39,000.

Perhaps they're running early, but it's a bit of an odd way to lose time.

ETA More accurately it's a holding pattern (race track, not a 360) and on the third time around.

Work e-mail I got a couple hours ago:

This map is deceiving, because I think all those big fat green lines in the middle are actually closed empty streets.
Attachment 53470

I can see the conversation now:
"Sorry Air Italia 4001, this is restricted airspace. Don't you know that the pope is flying in? Hold until the pope has cleared the area."