If you can't say anything nice...
 

Since high school, I've had 7 "serious" girlfriends. Here and there, I'll think of the ex's, and laugh, cringe, or feel stupid.

I don't bag on them too much...I said TOO MUCH. But I was just thinking...if I had to, could I say something nice about each of them? It took a moment, but sure enough, I did. So this is what I came up with (one gf per line):

--She had big boobs and reached orgasm easily.
--She had big boobs and a great personality.
--She had big boobs and a great body.
--She had big boobs.
--She had big boobs and had great taste in music.
--She had a wonderful nature about her...and had big boobs.

Notice that they all have something in common. ;)

Would you be able to do the same with your ex's?

I'm pondering your list, in an effort to determine what all of these women have in common. I'm not sure what--I know there must be something, but it's escaping me for the moment. I'm sure it's something obviosu, right there in plain view in front of me.

Hmmm I only have one ex worthy of the name (a somewhat longer list of "shouldas" though). So here's my entry:

--She was a nice person. When she wasn't being psychotically posessive.


Also, I have to say your topic & post put me in mind of Dorothy Parker... When I read the topic I immediately thought of her famous quote, "If you can't say something nice about somebody, come sit next to me." But then reading the post put me in mind of, "If all the girls who went to the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be surprised."

And the 7th????

      Okay, I'm game. I've only had two really serious relationships though. So, here goes;
-- She was really cute, and she really tested the strength of my resolve to follow my moral code.
-- She was gorgeous, and she's allowed me act as a father to her son that isn't mine, as well as not getting in the way of my relationship with my daughter. Not interfering with those relationships is all I want out of her so we have no problems.
     On a related topic, one of the second's son's classmate's recently asked if she was his mom or his grandma. Less than a week later a cashier ask if he was my brother. I love telling that story, it's more fun when she's there though. I'll have to e-mail her a link to this thread.

She's the greatest person I've ever met...we've been together 4 years. :)

(And she has big boobs.)

There is a god!

Okay Bruce...enlighten me.

Nothing mysterious. 1.After six attempts, not failed, but rather mismatched, you found a match that still fulfills what seems to be your common qualifier. That's not a common story these days. You've been lucky or persistant enough to find sucess without lowered expectations. 2. I'm easily amused.:beer:

     So, Syc, I take pride in being the only one to rise to your challenge of saying something nice about our ex's. I guess we really are surrounded by some mean-spirited bastards... :D

I have plenty of ignorant shit to say about my ex's, which usually involves their mental states or their backwards-ass parents. :)

But I'm at the point now where I can look back and not care. Oh sure, some of the emotions are still there, but as I get older, all that shit keeps melting further away. Plus, I've always been one to look at the bright side of things--I obviously dated these women for a reason, loved a couple of them, and was engaged to a couple of them (previous to Rho). So, I figure that there has to be something good in each of them. And that's the best way to remember them, while keeping in the back of your mind that there were good reasons for ending those relationships. :)

1) She wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, but she was a sweet person. I've met nicer, but not many.

2) Amazing in every way. Now digs girls more than guys. The first person I truly loved, and I still do. We're great friends, though we don't talk much, due to distance. She was the giver of the best hugs I ever received.

3) It's kind of hard here... she was a faker, she wasn't particularly mature... she's booksmart, but not smart-smart. She isn't particularly nice, though she fakes it decently well. And she was <b>fucking insane</b>. She had big boobs, though, and a pretty nice ass.

After this, I kind of stopped the whole relationship thing for a while (~2.5 years). I then fell for someone else (or thought I did), and that produced a very strange relationship for a while. Then I got her out of the picture and my eyes opened to...

4) She's smart, she's beautiful, and nothing makes her happier than making someone else happy. I'm stupidly lucky to be with her.

Oh my god, PLEASE stop using this word when you mean "immature" or "stupid" or whatever. IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT! ASLJDFOJAIWERJQJWDFJALKSDJFQJW!@!!!#!@$%!@#$%

(Incidentally, the misuse of the word "ignorant" is probably my biggest pet peeve. It's spectacular when someone says "That's mighty ignorant of you", because you have a <b>great</b> retort, but the rest of the time, it drives me nucking futs.)

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Heh, it's kind of a personal rule of mine not to say bad things about my ex's. Of course, with my first love I can tell stories about her slanted in her favor and people still get wide eyed and ask why I was with her. Come to think of it, after 9 years my friends that knew me back then are only now not giving me shit about her all the time. She did, indeed, make life interesting.
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I wonder if she's still alive... The last place she lived in got burned down. I found this out within hours of telling my more recent ex that I couldn't imagine the first leaving a place standing for three years...

Okay, okay, Dave, you got me on that one.

Going backward from most recent ex to least recent, giving first their positives, and then reasons for termination of relationship - Warning: this encompasses a pretty good stretch of years, and there were *lots* of other relationships, but these are the only ones I consider dead serious. Exes only, current wife not included.

1) Fabulously talented musician, intelligent, incredibly generous, hip, attractive, and sadly, deceased at far too young an age. We broke up due to lack of chemistry about four years before she passed on.
2) My first wife; amazingly beautiful as a young girl, laughed easily, loved me like there was no tomorrow, great in bed, adventurous in every way. Psychotically angry and hostile, argumentative, not all that intelligent.
3) Stunningly beautiful, almost painfully so, *big boobs*, outgoing, adventurous in that typically Catholic "oh, this sex thing is so cool, why'd I wait so long" kind of way, great family as well. Dumped me because we were so damn young and she wasn't ready to stay with her first lay.
4) Gorgeous, 70's hippy-esque, incredibly talented in many ways, especially musically; psychic linkage between us. Parents broke us up as she was a rich girl and I was a druggie scum; our paths diverged for a few years and we both married other people, but we are still best friends and musical partners to this day. I work for her husband and have known her for over 30 years.

I rolled over the kiss the last wife goodnight and she said "I can't have sex with you anymore. Frank doesn't want to share me." With my sparkling wit and razor sharp repartee I said "Frank? Who the fuck is Frank?" Now all this time I thought she was being ignorant. Thanks to Dave, I know I was.:p

I'll give it a go.... though I have only had a few meaningful relationships (meaning more than "just dating"). Actually, for years I was a shy as hell, so dates were few and far between. But one day about 2 years ago I figured some shit out, and I was a veritable swinger for about a year.

First girlfriend: cute, sweet, charming... at first. There was an undertow of psycho that was slow to surface. Example: she once got pissed off at me for days because I didn't send back a sandwich I'd ordered when it came with tomatoes on it (I'd asked for none). I opted to just pull them off, told her I didn't mind that much. She was PISSED. Wierd. There are a number of similar examples. Boob size = average.

Second: pretty and intelligent, but plagued with chronic indecision and HUGE men issues due to a very bad experience in her past. We broke up when she decided she was more interested in my roommate than in me. Then she dumped him because she wanted to get back together with me, but when I wasn't really interested in getting together again, she went after him again. Gah! Boob size = small.

Third: A cutie, but ditsy... and dangerous. Distance and lack of common interests really eroded on this relationship until it just sort of went away, like a rash. Boob size = large.

Fourth: Not really serious since we only went on about 4 dates, but I think it would have been if left uninterrupted. She was very pretty, quite intelligent, and very self-confident. And for some crazy reason she was as impressed as hell with me. I'd probably still be with her if I hadn't met #5... (oh, boob size = large)

Fifth: The woman I'm going to marry! Gorgeous, funny, intelligent, artistic... a woman more wonderful than I ever hoped to be with. She has everyting on my list of what I was looking for in a woman, and much more... and I love her to death. Oh, and we set a wedding date... August 23rd. Hot damn!

But I hold no grudges, I am good terms with all of the ex-girlfriends. I have issues with #2 becuase she kind of ripped my guts out and stomped on them, but I can't make myself hate her. Oh well.

Congratulations, HP!! :)