Holding the Grudge
 

For three weeks, I worked for an outfit that sold speakers out of a van. I think I was 18 or 19. The ad in the paper said "hi-fi stereo sales. fast paced environment, casual" So i called. I think I got the job over the phone.

So, i made some money ( cash money ) my first couple of weeks, and was diggin it. We would accost people in parking lots of shopping centers or restaurants or malls, and tell them we were accidentally overloaded with speakers and were on our way to install them at a club, but wanted to sell these 2 speakers before we got there. fun.....i found myself starting conversations with strangers when i was not working. The practice you get talking to people you don't know makes you much more extroverted in daily life. And, as I said, I only worked there for three weeks.

So, one day I'm in the van in training with Roy. Roy, you big jerk off from Boston. With your $^*#% Boston accent and your Sam Kinnison hairdo. I didn't like Roy a whole lot. He used to shoplift major appliances while on duty. I frowned upon this. I found it to be unproffessional. One day he waved a lady out from the curb (pedestrian crossing street) and as she got right in front of him, he lurched the van forward and skiddded to a stop about 2 feet from her. Then he yelled,"I'll run you over and fuck your dead body!" out the window as he drove past her. I pulled his right arm off and hit him with it at that point ( in my mind).

Anyway, we're in the van. He stops this guy. James S Wardrop ( address withheld, but memorized) of Lancaster. At first, James says no, fuck off please; thank you. So we do a couple laps, and there's James waving us over. He changed his mind, and he wants the speakers, but only has $80 in cash; would we take a check? ( we didn't take checks as a rule) So Roy takes the check, and I load the speakers into James's orange and wood panel pinto wagon. $320 check, & $80 cash. speakers cost $150/pr, so we each made $125.
After lunch, Roy drives to the bank that the check is drafted on, and goes thru the drive thru to cash it. There is a problem with the teller's computer and she has to go to another one. about 5 minutes go by, and Roy is honking the horn when 2 police cars pull up in front of us.
"Out of the Van"

uh oh
what did we do?

"you took this guy's check, but never gave him the speakers"

yes i did

"well, he says you didn't and he filed his complaint first, so I'll need your belt, wristwatch, bracelet and shoes before you go into that holding cell next to the beligerent drunk guy's cell(thank god I was in my own cell).

45 minutes, and the bored and sleepy detective came to get me. Mr Wardrop has agreed to drop the chares as long as you give the $80 cash back.

Slick.

The hardest thing I've ever done in my life was not kill Roy on the hour and a half ride thru traffic back to the shop at 7 or 8 at night.

When I began this story, it was because I've held this little kernel of seething anger at Mr Wardrop, and wondered if any of you have a kernel of you own. ( a little Indigo Montoya) {princess bride-"hello, my NAME is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."}

But as I read what I've written, I realize that I need to find and punish Roy as soon as possible. Anyone seen him?

It's actually "Inigo" Montoya. Just a slight correction.

So you actually only made $85 each. Just for talking shit. Still not bad. As long as the check cleared.

the check was never cashed, sherlock. The girl at the bank called the cops because wardrop had called them and told them not to cash it and that we had ripped him off.

It wasn't a word problem. I want to know who you are holding a long term grudge against and why.

I got no problem, Holmes. You never said if the check went through or not, you just said he got his $80 cash back.

sorry.

i thought it would have been assumed that the cops wouldn't give us the check when they released us.

didn't mean to snap at you....I think dave is rubbing off on me. Ewwww...that doesn't sound right.

peace

Why Dave, I didn't know you are a slut.:thumb:

I have absolutely no sympathy in this case. You were part of a fucking scam and you got out-scammed. The lesson here is not to sell speakers out of a fucking van. I knew that was a line the first time I heard it in 1986 and I must have been offered speakers out of a van about 5 times since.

You deserved the jail time for being a moron. Take the lesson and drop the grudge.

UT, I think you missed my point of my post. I am not looking for your sympathy. I absolutely deserved what I got. And, as I said, in writing down how I felt, it became apparent that instead of resenting mr Wardrop, I kind of have to give him some respect for out-scamming us, as you put it. I was also obviously kidding about finding Roy. He's probably in jail. He really did steal a tv and a dryer while we were working. Just put on a white jump suit, took a hand truck into a showroom and walked out like he knew exactly what he was doing. I was furious that whole day. then the above incident capped the day off, and i quit when i got back to the store.

There's nothing illegal about selling speakers out of a van, in fact many of those guys actually have vending permits for the areas they work in. It is, however, immoral at best, and usually decietful. I was young. I know better now. Now I rip people off legitimately when they are expecting to be ripped off. And I'm good at it.


anyway, the point of the post was that I have let the grudge go, and in asking others to open up their grudges, like dave did with his BB thing, those pople may find that THEY can let THEIR grudge go.

I guess what UT (and maybe NbN also) was saying is that you have no basis whatsoever for holding a grudge against Mr. Wardop who, I might add, is a very fast thinker. Sorry, but I agree.

Its difficult to get past that in the context of this thread.

Now, getting to your point, I have a grudge against a family member but they are passed away so I have learned to let it go. But it still pops up from time to time which has led me to question whether or not I (or generally speaking, anyone) can truly let these things go. Its nice to preach forgiveness but its another thing to truly forgive.

One peice of advice - don't wait till they're dead because then its all on you and you have no way to get rid of it other than learning to live with it. And it fits like a sportscoat that's a size or two too small.

edited to fix spelling errors - content unchanged

Yeah awright.

This reminds me of an old buddy of mine...

The guy was a smart chap, but a determined under-achiever.

So one day he finds himself working at this decent restraunt. But he's always complaining about how the entire staff is a bunch of low-life thugs. They're always talking about drug deals, and selling stolen property.

Well. He eventually starts hanging out with these guys after work. They go out and drink at a bar, chill and watch a game, then head home.

Well one day he and one of the guys take off after lunch shift to hit a sports bar for a while. (My buddy drives the both of them out there) My buddy has to work that night, the other guy has the night off. This guy tells my friend, "I need to check my schedule, just take me back to the restraunt, and I'll take a bus home."

So back they head to the restraunt. My buddy is working, the other guy is lounging around talking to people for an hour or so. It starts to get busy, and this guy says to my friend, "Oh, hey man, I forgot my *something-or-other* in your car, gimme your keys and I'll be right back."

Yeah. So it's busy, my friend gets back to work. About an hour later he realizes... "holy shit... he never brought my keys back." Runs out to the parking lot....

Car is stolen. The guy never showed back up to work, he was just there to get his last paycheck.

Anyhow, the moral of this story is... if you hang around with people that are shit, don't act surprised when you end up stepping in it.

This makes me very glad that the grudges that I do hold are not against family members. I figure if they are against people that you don't really care about, then oh well.

The one that comes up every so often is an ex-coworker/team leader of mine. She fucked with my work (sabatoge), and tried to get me fired (it didn't happen, thank God). I have absolutely no forgiveness for people like that, and nothing would please me more than to hear of her untimely demise.

Learned to live with it, and it fits me just fine. ;)

Forgive and Forget.
I've always been told that is sage advice. Forgive I'll buy because it will consume to much of you if you don't. But don't forget, or you'll be doomed to repeat history.;)

Toad, how did those speakers sound anyway? Always wondered.... Still got 'em?

Oh, you're bad...very, very bad..I like you.:beer:

Yeah jinx I do... and the $80 cash as well.

Why thank you bruce, I like you too.... And I must say I greatly admire your dodads.

:blush: Got to get curtains.

I've tried holding grudges, but it doesn't really work for me.

My focus is on the present and future.

I find that spending too much time in the past is nonproductive.

Learning from the past is important. Getting beyond the past is crucial.

Huuummmm grudges ,,,, let me put it this way , I have been a service tech for 17-18 years now in various industries . I have had to deal with som TRUELY FUCKED UP SITUATIONS because of FUCKING BOTTOM FEEDER SALES FOLKS .
When i was putting in alarms a sales dude forgot to tell me that the dude he sold the alarm to was a white supremest and he closed the deal at gun point ( freak dude pointing the gun at him ) with freak boy saying " Don't send no FUCKING niggers out here to put this in " . So monday morning i show up to install the alarm with Charlie . Now Charlie was about as black and as getto as you can be , nice dude , good to work with . Freak boy sticks a luger in my face and we leave .
Same sales dude said we could put a vibration sensor on each pane of a 3 story glass wall as wide as a house .
And the list goes on and on .
So grudges , yeppers I have a few , but i try not to let them get to me . Besides when a sales man talks a cust into buying something new i generly get to haul off the old equipment . Targets for when i get pissed off !!!:rar: :rattat:

i knew these guys, once, that got into an argument and then one of them left. and then he came back for a little bit to say something, and then he left again. weird, huh?

welcome to new retardia

i'm holding a grudge against the girl i work with. she was always pretty nice to me and i went to her wedding reception when she got married....well, when i got married it was nothing grand. we decided to have a get-together at our apartment with some friends afterwards. i work at a restaurant with around 40 other servers, many of whom i am friendly with. so, i stopped in to my job and this girl was at the door, so i told her what we were planning and asked her to spread the word that we were hanving a little wedding party that night..she was like "oh, sure! i'll put a note up on the board." guess what this stupid idiot sad excuse for a human does- she puts a little note in the bus room that says "go to stacey v's house tonight" that's it!! no one knew if the note was from last week or that day. no one knew the address, and most of them didn't even know it was because we got married (we eloped). i will hate her forever for being an idiot. I asked around the next day, and people who were working the day of my party were like "What? you had a party? i'm sorry, i didn't know...yeah, i saw the note in the busroom, but i didn't know what day it was from or what it was for..." so anyway, we had enough alcohol for 30 or 40 people and we had about 10 people over...i would love to ruin her baby shower. i feel like telling everyone at the last minute that the date was changed to next week so that noone shows up, but i know i can't do that because everyone will think i'm a bitch...

stacy, if you want something done right, do it yourself....i'm sure you already knew this girl was a retard, and yet you entrusted this task to her.....you are actually mad at yourself.

the thing is, we were about to be married in 1 hour and we were in a rush. i was all excited and we had to get home and get ready. i didn't have time to go through the restaurant and tell everyone and i wasn't thinking straight, either. but she did her own wedding reception that i went to, and everything was perfect. she's not really stupid, she's even got her own small business that she runs in addition to waitressing. she has clients, appointments, etc. that is why i don't understand how stupid she was about that note. I believe that she simply couldn't care less if anyone showed up. she really really just didn't care and that makes me very angry, because i went to her reception and she's always been friendly with me, like we went to the mall together once and we chat at work. a wedding is a huge event in someones life and for her to be so careless like that after she acted like a friend and she really isn't stupid, is just inexcusable. i had reason to have faith in her abilities, i'm not mad at myself. i'm pissed at her.

this may be too obvious a question, but I'll ask any way. are you still married? are you thinking straight now?

I've been told that once married, nobody thinks straight anymore....

Well, with all that going on in her life, could it have been that she had things on her mind, and she only had time to do what she did?



And why do you believe that? Did she do something specific to make you feel this way?

Hate to say this, but IMO you're getting upset over...nothing. After all, she DID put up "A" note, granted it wasn't the type of note that YOU wanted for her to put up on the board.

I honestly don't see where she committed such a "sin" against you regarding this matter. Chalk it up to a misunderstanding, and call it a day.

"You live and you learn".

What makes you think she owes you anything? Maybe you should consider taking responsibility for your own actions instead of looking for reasons to be pissy. Sounds like you got lucky that she put the note up at all. "a lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."

she was working that day - a slow tuesday lunch, and she was the hostess. i did not ask for a lot. since she was stuck there at work, and not busy, AND she happily agreed, AND we had history of being friendly, and i went to her wedding reception, AND what i was asking for was very very simple, I do have a right to be upset. We eloped, and decided to have the party that day. how hard is it to tell a few people, "hey, stacey got married today. she's having a party, her address is in the bus room" i mean seriously, if we run out of baked potatoes in that place, we spread the word verbally, even in the middle of a busy saturday night, and everyone knows within 5 minutes. the same thing happens when they change the soup of the day..that's all i was asking for. don't be so friggin harsh.

i hate to be the one to break this to you, but it would seem to me that she probably DID tell people about your party. I 've worked in a restaraunt or two, and people would have seen the note and asked her about it. She also would have told people she chatted with. The fact that people did not show up, has got to be attributed to the esteem you are held in by said coworkers.

sorry

every single person i personally asked showed up, i just never made it past the front room to tell more of them.

That only proves that people you personaly asked would have felt guilty if they hadn't showed up because they have NO excuse.

The others..."Well I didn't see the note" " I didn't know where" "I didn't know when"

Fact is if somebody wanted to go, they could've found out easily. The note although vague would have sparked enough interest in those willing to visit as is.

realistic != harsh

I find that any grudge I'm holding can be attributed to my own actions as much as the other persons, making it easy to get over it.

yup

Though, this is a flawed way of dealing with things, I don't like holding grudges, because usually it causes me to get worked up and angry about the situation all over again. I usually end up just writing the person off, unless they recognize the problem and confront me. I know it is bad, but it's in my nature. :(

this is a well known phenomenon called "getting re-mad" in my house....jinx has a knack for it.

Is this the catalyst calling the pot black?:haha:

i don't get it....

The catalyst rather than the kettle calling the pot black.

almost 2 years later, and i still don't get it. :(

Kettle sounds a little like the first two syllables of catalyst. the pun is on the word catalyst, or kettle-yst. xoB is asking/suggesting that you, the kettle is calling jinx, the pot, black. That you are accusing her of something that you are either a) guilty of yourself (as the kettle) or b) the reason she's re-mad (as the catalyst).

Or, I could be all wrong.

no, that's probably right. i guess it just wasnt all that funny. har.

Hey sorry I'm late. In reading all of these grudges, I'd say I'd hold a grudge against Dave if he rubbed one off on me, so I donb't think you're out of line LJ.

I'm sure I hold a grudge somewhere, but something will have to remind me of it.

So, did you ever track the dude down, LJ? :reaper:

The hell it wasn't. Cock. :p

I thought it both funny and clever. Both because, as BigV pointed out, catalyst sounds like kettle, but also a catalyst is an agent that provokes change. So he was calling you a shit disturber who blames the disturbee -- with a pun and in the politest way possible.

What could be funnier. :D

*sigh* that's why I love my Bruce. :heartpump:


The fact that it had to be explained to CERTAIN people doesn't make it less funny to those who got it first time.

now i KNOW it wasn't funny. thanks dave.

You're right. It wasn't funny --


to those who didn't understand it.

:lol2:

ok, you got me. i'm dumb. ......dumb dumb dumb. stooopit.


but dead sexy.

Me too....about the sexy part.

I worry more about whether anyone holds a grudge against me. I did some really shitty things in high school that hurt people badly. No, I won't tell you what. But I find that if I try to hold a grudge against someone, my conscience nips it in the bud pretty quickly. That, and the Christianity thing. I really try to keep from wishing evil on someone -- even fantasizing about it puts a huge barrier up in my spiritual life, so I avoid it like the plague.

The other million-odd lusts, vices, and hangups are works in progress. But at least I don't want to bring anyone else down.