01/01/04: "Oh, she's just got colic"
 

Hello everyone! Well, I have asked UT to give me my forum back. The last part of last year was very hectic for me, and I just didn't have the time to post in my forum. But my life is settling down again, and I have some more things I wanted to share with you. So, without further ado, here is the first entry in my forum in 5 months!


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Any new parent, such as myself, is inevitably barraged with advice. They're inundated with stories of their friends' nostalgic misadventures in parenting. Sadly, I am no exception to this. And in these conversations, there is one word in particular that really pisses me off. The sheer stupidity of it is really just more than I can take. That word is colic.

For those of you who don't know, here are a couple definitions of the word "colic", as used in parenting literature and conversations:

From here:<blockquote><i>Colic is when a baby cries for longer than three hours every day for more than three days a week. It is the extreme end of normal crying behaviour. The condition is harmless, though it can be very distressing for parents or carers. The cause is not known, but there are ways to help calm a baby down.</i></blockquote>
From here:
<blockquote><i>Your baby cries every afternoon for hours at a time, and the crying has worn you down to the point where you feel like joining in. What could be upsetting your child? When a healthy baby cries like this, chances are that it's colic. </i></blockquote>
Whenever an infant cries for a decent amount of time and the parents can't figure out the cause, some well-intentioned soul will always nod their head vigorously and say, "Oh, she's just got the colic! Such a terrible thing!".

Do you know what this word really means? It means, "I don't know what the fuck is going on.". Augh! If you don't know what the fuck is going on, you can NOT just make up a word and pretend that you do.

Babies don't cry for no reason. I know that everyone thinks that they do. It's widely accepted common knowledge. Since there is no proof for it, I can just as easily claim that babies always have a reason for crying. Do you cry for no reason? I seriously doubt it (unless you're a woman on her period. Gah..). No, if they're crying, it's for a reason. Crying is a message telling you, "There is something wrong with me. Please find out what it is and fix it". Saying, "OH! OH! I know what it is! It's Colic!!", and then being all proud of yourself solves absolutely nothing.

This whole thing reminds me of another pet peeve. What's up with people shoving pacifiers into their kids' mouths the moment they start to cry, and then completely ignoring them? This is akin to, when the phone rings, just picking it up and then hanging it right back up again. Hey, how about fixing the problem?? Me, I have a list of things to try, and there's a specific order I try them in. I suspect all parents have this list. If they do, when why in the hell would "pacifier" ever be #1 on the list?

i'd offer some advice, but it doesn;t sound like you're interested in hearing any more. :)

I welcome any advice online. Here I'm able to read it on my own time, and respond at length and with depth. We can talk about stuff here. In person, I just have to nod my head and smile. Otherwise it's a three hour conversation.

It sounds strange, but it's true. In any case, I welcome and hope for any comments anyone has on anything I post here. I can't grow otherwise, unless I'm questioned.

I always found SIDS the most annoying of those non-explanation words.

Welcome back, Juju. That's the extent of my imput in this thread.

The idea of "colic" promotes laziness.

Juju, are you irritated about colic b/c people are so quick to "diagnose" it, or b/c there is a name for the condition?

Just irritated that the most common phrasing implies that the person knows the root of the problem, when in fact they don't.

Many people play Mr./Ms. Knowitall all the time though--look at Radar. Now you have to deal with it in the world of parenting. Sucks to be you. :)

Wait 'til Sarah is a teenager. If you hate the advice you're getting now...

As far as the pacifier deal, keep in mind that there is not always a right way to do things. How you do things may be completely different from how another parent does things. In the case of a child crying, some things are better than others.

Having said that, pacifiers are probably not the best way to go, and IMO, make a parent look lazy.

I see the reaction I'm getting, and I guess maybe I came off the wrong way. I'll give you some examples of what brings about my misplaced poor attitude (which I will try to curb).

See, I WANT advice. It's interesting and useful. However, 95% of all the advice I'm getting is <i>so terrible</i>. For example, people are telling me that you should let kids "comfort themselves" or "cry themselves to sleep", even when they are only 7 weeks old. Otherwise, they won't become independent (even though research shows the complete opposite).

They say that if I hold Sarah too often, I'll "spoil her" or that when I respond to her cries quickly, she's "manipulating me" (at 8 weeks old!) -- even though any minimal amount of research would show the complete opposite.

They also say that at 7-8 weeks old I should put mashed up rice cereal into her milk to let her sleep better, even though they're not supposed to have solid foods until 6 months. At least three different families have told me this, even though all my research on the internet says the complete opposite. I am not really so certain of my correctness on this one, but I suspect that it is a widely held-myth.

So, much of people's advice (apart from the initial subject of this thread) just seems to me to be completely ludicrous.

This seems to be the best motto for the whole deal. Kids are all wildly different, so different styles must be employed.

This is probably poorly written, but alas, I've got to get to work. :)

Just get used to ignoring people. It worked for us! :) Just follow your common sense (informed by research, your pediatrician, and perhaps relatives whose experience and judgement you trust), and let everybody else go to hell.

Thanks. :)

Damnit Don, it's colic!

;)

I understand your frustration about getting advice thrown at you from every direction - it happened to me, too, for all three kids. The only child of mine that cried seemingly without reason was Julia, my middle child, and that WAS because she had problems with her digestive system. It was rectified, however, by switching her to a lactose free formula. I don't know if that will help you, bro, but it's another angle.

Welcome to the Cellar Philly.
I was a colic-y(sp?) baby. Damn near died. At 6 months they figured out I was allergic to my mothers milk. Switched to canned milk and I'm here to annoy you today. What a country!

i thought you were not going to participate in this thread?
it was probably something in your mom's diet that you were allergic to.

also, Dave would just like to point out that "imput" is not a word

That's one funny thing I've noticed, actually. As a noun, it's <i>colic</i>, but as an adverb, it's typically spelled <i>colicky</i>. What the heck is that about?? The 'K' just comes out of nowhere!

Insist on using "colically" and see if it catches on.

Ask ZippyT how he might spell it, then adopt that spelling. :) It might look something like: kollickeynz*

* - Please do not be offended at my attempt to be humorous and kill me.

I lied.
Imput and Ibput are close enough Mr typing nazi.

I think the whole "colic" thing developed because folks were uncomfortable discussing things like "clearly the baby's sucking too much air when she's at your nipple, Mrs. Juju" in public settings.

Victorians didn't go for that.

It's not "colic," it's gas ... throw her on your shoulder, rub and pat her back until she burps and then expels an extremely large quantity of warm vomit on your back, entirely missing the "burping pad".

Cuddle her as much as you want. The "experts" who are bossing you around right about now probably have horrenous children who aren't allowed back to any restaurant that doesn't have a clown statue at the front door.

people do give the dumbest advice..... i had one person tell me not to change freddie's diaper till after she'd eaten. (mmmmmm... that's a comfortable way to partake.) someone else actually suggested that i should feed her in the bathtub, to improve cleanup. (which might have been more practical, come to think of it....)

people are dumb. but you spend more time around your child than even the doctors, and you should go with your gut.

when freddie was a baby, she started having what looked like bloody diapers. this freaked me out, and the doctor told me that she needed her formula changed. i told her i didn't think that was it........... she ignored me. the next doctor ignored me, too. it turned out that she had rectal prolapses, which basically means that she was pooping out some of her intestines. so THEN i told the doc that there was something wrong with that piece that kept coming out...and they ignored me again.

thanks to the marvels of a video recorder (and a baby video that she's NEVER gonna want to show at parties) i convinced them that she had a pollup the size of a jawbreaker. eventually, she did a self-pollupectomy (or however you spell that) and we went back to normal.

the point of this long gross story: i knew. they didn't. don't let 'em tell you different, when you know.

gas drops... i'm telling you...try them. it's not medicine exactly, because you can use 'em whenever.

g a s d r o p s.

Kathy is afraid to give her gas drops, 'cause she sees it as medicine. I do have problems burping her, though. She screams like a banshee everytime I go to do it, and the entire time I'm doing it. So, I can either let her scream, or I can have her potentially vomit all over me. Life is full of tradeoffs, I guess. :)

Bloody diapers, batman! That's <i>got</i> to be terrifying. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

DAVE MADE ME DO IT

and where's the smiley?!

NO graphical smilies in my forum! Ahhh hahahahahahahahah!!!!! The sweet, intoxicating liquor of power! AahHH hahhahahah!!

Oh, yeah....I knew that. no wonder bruce didn't want to participate.

btw, juju, colic follows the same rules as panic

panicKed .... panicKy ...so it's colicKy.

Ohh.. I get it! :)

juju's drunk with power! We must do something! http://www.cellar.org/images/smilies/wink.gif

Gah! You clever little monkey. :)

so........you guys are going to be those kind of parents that withold medicine and treatment from your kids and let 'em suffer, because you have a problem with it?

like those seventh day adventists, or the faith healers, right? aren't they the ones who ignore the marvels of medical science because they have those noble ideals???

babies cry when they have gas because......... it hurts.

if i had a graphical :smile: i'd put it here.

Yeah, 'cause medicine never hurt anyone right? First do no harm. Just burp the kid....

what??????????? i'm talking about something to relieve the gas that the child has. if she cries every time he burps her, then something's not going along correctly.

I dunno.. it's too early to tell, I suppose. I actually used the gas drops several times in the past few days, since I didn't burp her well enough. I think Kathy just wants to be sure of the problem before she starts pumping medication down her throat.

Ah. I'm just not one of those that believes that the solution to every problem is a product. I doubt the baby has a gas drops deficiency, so I probably wouldn't go that route.

It seems likely that some babies just have more gas than others, despite good burping. Sarah isn't so bad in this area -- my concern is mainly to not have her regurgitate all over me through poor burping.

Gas and vomiting would make me want to examine her diet. Maybe she's just a gassy kid, or having a gassy stage - but if she's having trouble digesting a specific protein or sugar it would be better to figure that out as early as possible, imo of course...

She doesn't really have bad gas. I believe Dar's daughter had bad gas, and so that's why she recommends the gas drops.

Quit hitting her so hard, you asshole! :)

I thought about that... I don't really think that's it. Maybe, but I think she just doesn't like the interlude between feedings.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Nah, that can't be it. I know when I club my kids in the head they're usually quiet for hours. Oh wait... you mean when he's trying to burp her... uhm... oops. Nevermind.

Sorry I am a late comer to this thread. What I find interesting is that those sites have taken a medical condition and twisted the meaning of the word around. Colic as listed in the Webster dictionary: a paroxysm of acute abdominal pain localized in a hollow organ and often caused by spasm, obstruction, or twisting
Now I was raised on a farm, around horses and other livestock and colic was a very real problem with horses. It was not a word we used when the horse neighed a bit too much. Its a very real and dangerous condition where an animal might very well die. So my question is when did this word come to mean something else in parenting. If my doctor told me my baby had colic and he meant she cried allot you better be sure I am gonna hit the roof and give him a nice talking to about using words properly. Besides some babies cry more then others, it doesn't always mean something medical is wrong. I say raise your kids how you want to raise them, and don't let some parent whose only credential is that they actually had a kid tell you how to raise them.

that's not my only credential. i went to college, flunked spanish a couple 'a times, mostly remember high school, and have a name badge and some business cards.

and i didn't have her. i stole her.

there ya go, juju... ya gotta curry her and give her some oats and maybe a sugar cube or an apple.

yeah..i think freddie ate too fast, and gulped a lot of air. unless she got the gas problem from her dad, in which case she'll probably never have....... or never finish........ a date.

today is freddie's birthday.........she's 3!

Looks like she's already learned to use it as a weapon.

Right On, prob. saved you a ton in hospital bills. I hope you shopped around first, and didn't grab the first kid you happened upon.

nope..picked the cutest & the smartest. didn't know at the time that she was gonna smell like that. =)

Bwahahahahahahaha.