euphamisms
 

so, we discovered that somehow in jag's own particular blend of "worldy naivetee" that he didn't know what "light in the loafers" meant.

so what else is he(are we) missing? put down some of your euphamisms for whatever...i'm sure wolf has some good ones for "crazy"

i'll start with some i like to use:

Mr. Gotrocks: a rich man

fugly: fucking ugly

chubby chaser: someone who likes "big boned women"

and so on

fugly has two meanings in my experience, usually overlapping, fucking ugly and fat and ugly

buff: big ugly fat fucker, wait, but that's really an acronym...I think.

I always wanted a dog named fugly.

Snotnose...anyone younger than me.

there're good ones for things we don't like to say out loud.

like pooping:

I have to go mail a package

I have to pinch a loaf


or peeing:

my back teeth are floating

i gotta pee so bad i can taste it


you're full of shit:

your eyes are brown

or peeing:
 

Have to go drain the weasel.

Have to go chip some porcelain.

Penis:

Mr. Sticky...ooo, shoulda put that one in the blue58 poll.

here're some car biz euphamisms in story form. this is fictional except for the one character name...Mr Dick, the sales manager.. he's a real guy. i didnt work with him, but the former finance guy did.

I had this customer named Gus. Gus Tomer. Gus had a very beautiful wife. How beautiful? let's just say that 'I'd be willing to go into the hole' for this deal. Gus had been in looking, and i had called him to see what he thought about the deal. He said his wife liked the car, but wasn't too keen on the number. I suggested that he bring her down to the dealership and we'd 'dicker'. When they arrived, it was clear that she 'wore the pants in the family'. So, in negotiating, i was addressing her. As things often do, we reached an impasse on the number. I had gone as low as i could, and advised her that if she wanted any better of a deal, she'd have to 'talk to Mr. Dick'. Mr Gus Tomer ended up buying, and that was one more car that I had "burning Gas" or, one more set of taillights "over the curb"

doody: going to drop the kids off at the pool or the Browns are going to the Super Bowl!

Sometimes I tell people I'm going to void liquid by-products.

Or, make a big splash in waste futures.

need to find a toilet quickly
 

I've got a brown trout peeping.

BTW is euphamism a euphemism for euphemism? Live by the sword die by the sword brother.

Urinatation: the second best thing you can do with your dick.

not sure if it counts since they are really acronyms.

fubar - fucked up beyond all recognition
snafu - situation normal. all fucked up.
charlie fox - cluster fuck

--------------------
regular euphamisms
taking the skin boat to tuna town
feeding the oneeyed trouser snake
need i say more? yes i'm a pig.

---------------
and for lj - one i have carried over from the car biz - JAG. it's about as versatile as "fuck" could be someone who is a really good person to have a bs session with or someone who talks big but never buys...

brutal, dude. i guess i deserved that. bet most people wouldn't have caught that. thanksafuckinglot. ;)

I caught it but we all knew you were a dumbass to start with...

boat to tuna town....rofl

yeah, bullshit. you didn't catch it.

euphamisms? Are you serious? Does that look right to you? Even stoned? You may be mr. finance manager but I can outspell yer ass anyday.

well, spelling challenges are a bit tricky on a message board, or i'd call your bluff. i always drop spigot on my spelling adversary at this point. hasn't failed me yet.

anyway, i'm pleased with myself that i even know what the word means. it does mean what i think it means, doesn't it?

Well thats different mr smart;y pants.......I thought a euphamism meant I got stuff to do when you mean you want to wack off?

actualy, i might as well let you in on the secret. It was a subtle challenge to see who would get it, and misspell one word in their posts. i guess you missed that. I'll make the next one easier. :)

Here are a few... I'll let you ponder on their true meaning if you don't already know:

• I've gotta go see a man about a horse.
• I'm gonna go "practice lightsaber" with "captain Solo."

...ok, I can only think of two at the moment. Stupid brain.

"drop spigot"

I sometimes get a case of the backwoods, but drop spigot?

Are you ok LJ?

"Unclogging the hairy drain" - coathanger abortion.

(Yep, I'm goin' to hell!)

:vomit:

i'm fine...by "drop spigot" i meant that I usually challenge them to spell that word. It's simple sounding, but most people will go "s-p-i-c-k-e-t" and then grin smugly. When I remind them that it is s-p-i-g-o-t, that usually ends the contest.

You challenge car salesmen to spelling contests.

Jim, you need to get out more.

funny, volpe.

It was actually 2 seperate incidents where a salesman was popping off about how skilled a speller they were. you gotta nip that shit in the bud, or they'll start to think they are actually intelligent, and start making decisions on their own. ;)

You've done a good job, I haven't met one yet.:)