Ascension of Christ
 

1 I started to just ask the question, "what happened to Jesus after he arose from the grave?" but realized i was just being lazy, and googled it. There's really not a whole lot about it. I read that he popped in and out for 40 days speaking to disciples here, Holy women there., etc. Then he ~ascended~ into 'heaven' whilst blessing his disciples. Jesus floated up into the air? I wish there had been a couple of better observers around at the time. I'd like to know what they mean by "taken up to heaven" and "was carried up into heaven". Did God reach down and pick him up? No, literally.....did he just keep getting higher and higher until they couldn't see him anymore, or did he kind of like, fade away up in the air a little bit? There are obvious question to follow those, but I really didn;t intend this to be a sarcastic thing. I am actually curious about this aspect for some reason. I'm not trying to convert anyone to atheism or anything, but I'd like to know what you Christians were taught and/or accept as the truth about the time after the ressurection. The details. If there are any. Looking into it, a bit, I see that he was also pretty much incognito for most of the time between age 12 and somewhere between 27 and 30 yrs old.
And then crucified at age 30 or 34...maybe 33. but it was definitely in April.
then the next Sunday, the stone is rolled back, and he arises, and goes ....where?

Did you ever get around to reading "Lamb," lumberjim?

yeah, i read that. i thin i recommended it on here a couple of times. that just deals with his early years as I recall.

Lumberjim, a more descriptive version comes from Acts 1:9-11

"After he had said this, while they were watching, he was lifted up and a cloud hid him from their sight. As they were still staring into the sky while he was going, suddenly two men in white clothing stood near them and said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand here looking up into the sky? This same Jesus who has been taken up from you into heaven will come back in the same way you saw him go into heaven.”

Acts was written by Luke (the same Luke from the Gospel of Luke) as a continuing history of the early church. Luke is probably the best observer and most detailed of the canonical writers (with the possible exception of Paul). He was trained as a doctor, and received a Greek Academy education, a rare thing in those days.

So, the basic sketch is, yes, he was lifted up into the sky. I don’t think we need to presume a “Hand of God” coming and grabbing him, ala Monty Python. And after a while, he was hidden by a cloud.

-sm

thanks.

The Skeptic's Annotated Bible raises some interesting questions about that chapter and the ascension.

The words in the Bible are a big question mark, your right. Did Jesus just keep rising forever, out of the atmosphere, out into space, into a wormhole? Was it some dimensional effect? Where is heaven? It seems to be 'up'. Those Christians that teach that Jesus really did rise into heaven (and I think almost all sects do), are asking you to swollow something scientifically impossible. If you don't buy into miracles you're just out of luck. But what more can be said about the description? Note the part in Mark where it says "and sat down at the right hand of God". If what you had at first was an eyewitness account of a man rising into the sky, is the part I quote also an eyewitness account of Jesus then sitting down next to God while up in Heaven? Does that hint at this writing having been a vision someone experienced rather than an eyewitness acount? It might, I don't know.

A big point of the ascension is that Jesus didn't die (again) and isn't buried anywhere, but that he actually went to heaven with his physical body. This (at least with Catholics) is also what happens with Mary (though I don't think that part is actually in the Bible). It is the belief that Jesus went to heaven physically and didn't die that is the core teaching of the Ascension. The actual description of the event in the Bible can be questioned and speculated on any number of ways. But I'm no theologan or expert, just someone with enough of an idea to write himself into a corner.


Putting Easter in April has to do with the last supper happening on Passover, so the events at the end of Jesus' life can be pinned to the Jewish calendar. IMHO trying to celebrate the exact date isn't the point, the calendar has changed so many ways in 2000 years, but Passover is about in the same part of the calendar year ever year. Christmas was arbitrarily (intentionally) placed near the winter solistice, noone knows what day Jesus was really born.

i read a sci fi story once that tied into the star of bethlehem. the main character was the priest on a space ship that discovered a planet/vault near a dead star. the vault was a treasure trove of a dead civilization's art, science, philosophy, etc.....a truly admirable and beautiful people that knew their time was up, and went to the trouble of creating this planet sized time capsule so that their acheivements would not be lost.

The twist was that the star that went supernova and destroyed this beautiful civilization was the one seen to herald the birth of Christ on Earth.

Makes you think that they would be able to figure out the date of his birth based on evidence of some celestial event that would have been observed on earth around that time.

Rod Serling, Binghamtons favorite son, did a Twilight Zone based on that story.

Well, there are a few options to choose from. In 11 BCE, Halley's Comet rolled through, but that’s probably too early to be the indicator. In 7 BCE, there was a planetary conjunction of Saturn, Venus, and Jupiter. This seems a fairly likely dating for the actual birth. Chinese astrological records hold information about something that was probably either a nova or supernova around that time. It’s extremely difficult to align the dating of those records, but they probably place the event somewhere between 5 BCE and 20 CE. Unlike Comets and planetary orbits, Novas are obviously non-cyclical, so we can’t roll back the astrological clock and see what was going on at that time.

Then there’s always the possibility that they were referring to some non-natural, singular occurrence prepared by God to mark the coming of his son to the earth. It certainly wouldn’t be the most spectacular miracle in the book …


-sm

This is where I would apply the principal of parsimony.

As far as the birth date goes, Sidhe keeps telling me something about the census being taken in the spring or some such. I'll have to ask her this evening when she gets back.

There's a bit more to it but that's her thing, not mine.

That didn't even occur to me. I don't mean that to be snide, either. Having read that story, the possibility seemed more plausible than 'magic' to me. Not that I had really made the connection between the star of Bethlehem and a real life stellar occurance. I always just thought of that as a story.

The thing is, is that if you accept that the preterscientific (God, Jesus, Mohammed, Vishnu, etc) is possible, then it follows that other such occurrances (magic) are possible.

Yeah the cencus sounds familiar. If I recall correctly, Mary and Joseph had to travel to Bethlehem to register for the cencus (i am butchering that word i know it) since that was the closest major city to Nazareth and vwala.

They had to go to Bethlehem because the census was organized by family lineage, and Joseph (and Mary, for that matter) was from the lineage of King David, whose hometown was Bethlehem.

From the time David took the throne until the first exportation of the Jews to Babylon, there were at least 13 recorded generations. From the time of the exportation until the time of the census, there were about another 13 generations. And all of those people from all of those family lines were all crammed back into Bethlehem for the census. It probably explains why there was “no room at the inn” for Mary – they were probably lucky to get a barn!

-sm

I had always assumed that the Grateful Dead were in town.

Then there would be plenty of room at the Inn, but no room in the barn, public park or parking lot. :hafucking

Isn't discussing the factual basis of distilled ancient mythology a blast?

I'll bet it was really itriguing watching Zeus, in the form of a swan, getting it on with Leda, and seeing Perseus behead Medusa would have been cool, too!

Read Joseph Campbell. He makes *a lot* of sense, and he doesn't deprive us of our individual and cultural spirituality in the process, unlike most of the so called organized religions.

The guy I always wanted to hang out with was Bacchus. Now that guy knew how to throw a party!
- Pie

Read Jung. Why skip to the Cliff's Notes when you can go directly to the source?

-sm

Jung doesn't tie it all in to Star Wars.

And Campbell isn't as dry and boring as the Sahara.

Are there any other 'ascensions' in other religions? or is this unique to christianity?

(click...click...click...drag highlight...click...click...)

Well, let's see here...the Taoists give us:

T'ien-shih
T'ien-shih was the title awarded to Chang Tao-ling (157-178 A.D.), the founder of the Yellow Turban Taoists (he is also claimed as founder by the Cheng-I and Five Bushels of Rice sects). It is believed that he received the Ling-pao (spiritual Treasure) Scripture written on golden tablets, from the Gods. He succeeded in finding the elixir of immortality, swallowed it, and ascended to Heaven, leaving his secrets, including his seals and demon-dispelling sword, with his son.

Shinto:

"Izanagi no Mikoto, his task having been accomplished, and his power great, ascended to Heaven and made report of his mission. There he dwelt in the smaller palace of the Sun."

More Buddhism:

"Moreover, since this country is a land of slander, the protective deities, hungering for the taste of the Law, have abandoned their shrines and ascended to heaven, so evil demons have entered them in their stead and provide guidance for many people.

And then there's this, which is informative and shows pretty definitively that, in mythology at least, Jesus was scarcely the first to do anything really cool/Godlike/magickal:

http://www.bandoli.no/nooriginaljesus.htm

That's why I referred to "distilled mythologies" in the earlier post...because there was nothing new under the religious sun by the time Jesus came along. IMHO, his followers just tended to come from societies which were more advanced technologically, and were able to either carry the Christian credo along on their paths of conquest of the world, or actually use that credo as an excuse for subjugating everyone possible.

thanks, Pat. thought so. Maybe they were all 'beamed up'? sound plausible, doesn't it? say....they were/are a science class from another planet doing a religion experiment for a study?

He came up to watch cable TV, with me. I thought I said that somewhere in the bible.

Oh, no...I just read God's User Title.

Halliburton's CEO?! Good grief, do you know what this means?!!

It means Dick Cheney will be God's boss...

He came up to watch cable TV, with me. I thought I said that somewhere in the bible.

I bet Jesus channel flips and you guys fight over the remote. And do you ever get the urge to smite Ron Popeil late at night?

I thought that the way it was right now --I just assumed Cheney was, you know, God's boss...I am going to have to pay more attention to stuff.

A little slow on the draw here.....I was just watching Fahrenheit 9/11

anyway.


........................(long pause).........*sigh*............

I am the boss. Any BS from Cheney and I suspend the magic that's keeping him there, if ya know what I mean. He doesn't **fuck** with me. I have some influence over M$ too, although not quite as much as I used to.

Jesus actually prefers the X box and has his own set, but he's not soo into it that he would collapse your skull if you stole it. Ok, maaa-bee if he was drunk er something.

I fucked up with Ronco. I'm embarassed about it but the genie is out of the bottle.

The Pocket Fisherman was brilliant, even if the record vacuum left a lot to be desired. But that one time when you get all the confetti on your records like that, it's a lifesaver ...

I rather enjoyed watching balding dudes spray painting the back of their heads. Wasn't that a Ronco idea... and what was it called?

hair in a can?

Far be it from me to criticize God, but may I make a suggestion? Lose the signature. Your posts are somewhat... diluted by it's presence.

Should the sig be reworded or taken out completely? It's only there for the benefit of new members that might be confused by some of the characters.

Fuck the new members! I imagine you could convince half of em that it actually *is* God stepping down from on high to share his nuggets of wisdom with us humble cellar dwellars. Hell, this could be a springboard to getting "The Bible, Part II" written. You know the one where God is like "What the fuck is up with all this intolerance and bigotry in my flock?"

Hey, I like that line. It's hip....modern and speaks the people's language. You up for writing for the Bible II?


Have your people get with my people.

Slang could be the next Charlton Heston. :thumpsup:

Could I retain my memory and not drool to take this position??

I don't see why not ...

And you get to say "pry my rifle from my cold dead hands" any time you want.

Okay, so you do that already ...

I could say it louder than I do now though,right........without people hitting the ground in anticipation of shooting?

I think Homer Simpson said it best. He was in "gun love" and noted that as he held the gun he felt, "the way God must feel, when HE'S holding a gun!"

I hate guns. They put holes in people and make the Emergency Dept. nuts. Too much work.

yeah, but sometimes putting holes in people is a good thing. and if you do it right, the emergency services folks don't have to do anything but take a pulse and say "don't worry about this one. wanna grab dinner?"

All I am sayin' is that, if you work in the ED, you at least have to LOOK like you care. Even if it's a lost cause and even if it's a really, really bad person. I knew a nurse who withheld pain medication to a known pedophile--it was all very secret and no one knew--no discipline involved--but a LOT of nurses were pissed at her vigil ante stance. Which I think is fucked up. DanaC will disagree with me here.

Why would she disagree? I don't disagree, and me and DanaC share the same viewpoint on lots of things - not to speak for her or anything, but I'll be curious what she says if she replies to your post.

I think pedophiles are pretty sick people, but here's a little story about one - can't remember if I told it here or not, forgive me if I'm repeating myself. I was in this group therapy thing to try to work out some issues I had at the time, and one of the members of the group was a pedophile. I was really disgusted by him at first, and even considered quitting the group because of him until one day he told us all his story. He had attempted suicide because he hated what he was so much and had failed. He was about 30 and was doing everything in his power to change, but was having a very hard time. He had been continually sexually abused himself when he was a child by an older male family member. It was a horrible experience for him and he loathed that he could turn around and do the same thing himself as an adult. All he wanted to do at that point was to die - he couldn't change and he couldn't go on living as he had been. He broke down into tears as he spoke, and my heart honestly went out to him. I don't know what ever happened to him, but I hope he got the help he needed. If not, I am sure that by now he is dead by his own hand.

i understand that you have to care if you are an emergency worker. you are there to treat illnesses and injuries, not necessarily the people who have them.

and Mari - you are a kind hearted soul... me personally, if i had been in that group i would have helped him buy a cheap gun and given him one bullet. i understand he has a history that led him down that path, but no one from his past stood behind him threatening him with a gun if he didn't bugger a child. we all have histories and we are all responsible for our actions regardless of what happened to us as children. and for the record - i'm not a victim, but child sex abuse has touched my family.

Mari--I know totally what you are saying. I am no pedophile but I have problems with certain things (you may ask yourself: "Where is my beautiful wife?" You may ask yourself: "Where is my beautiful automobile?"--ask the Talking Heads if you are under age 30) I have nothing but sympathy for every down-trodden individual. That being said: you buggar my child and you lose. I will hunt you down and exact my own personal justice. The saying goes that "money changes everything", well I think having children changes everything. PS--I am NO earthmother. NO way.

Hey, just because someone is under 30 doesn't mean they can't have good taste in music. And if they have good taste in music, then someone aged, oh, 26, as a completely random example, might just know what you're talking about. :p

Hey God, I thought I'd start with updating the Ten Commandments. Let me know what you think:

1. Thou shalt stop the "killing in my name" thing. That shit is lame.
2. Thou shalt stop putting words in my mouth.
3. Thou shalt not say one thing and do another.
4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. That one was pretty good, I'm especially proud of it.
5. Thou shalt not involve oneself in politics from the pulpit and then demand tax-exempt status. I mean, come on, this is like dropping money in the slots at Vegas and then crying foul when you don't win. Pay your dues and you can talk all you like. But see commandment 2. That wasn't a joke.
6. Thou shalt fucking follow the teachings of Jesus. I can't believe I had to make a whole new commandment to remind you.
7. Thou shalt stop putting words in my mouth. It bears repeating. Assholes.
8. Just compress the original 10 and put them here. Those were all pretty good.
9. Thou shalt cut out the "holier-than-thou" attitude. This goes back to 6. Jesus was a pretty decent guy. Someone you could have a beer and an interesting conversation with.
10. Look, just stop twisting shit in the Bible to match your own agenda. If you really believe in me, then surely you realise that there's my plan, and then there's your plan. And my plan doesn't always line up with yours. I'm bigger than you. Deal with it.

All I know about God is that I am not HIM/HER. So far, so good.

I couldn't agree with you and Lookout more. I think it is totally vile to harm a child in ANY way; and it goes beyond my imagination to harm one sexually. There are some kids in my life whom I love dearly, and pacifist that I am, I think that is the one thing that would inspire me to kill someone. That said, I also got to see this man's humanity and the horrible pain that he was suffering. I don't let him or anyone else off the hook for harming a child, however. We all ARE responsible for our actions as adults. What got me is that this man felt the same way, and decided suicide was the only way out. Child abuse has such deep reaching and tragic results. :(

Sorry I'm a bit late here. Just finishsed off a veal steak sub. Jesus Christ those folks at Lisa's little Philli subshop make some great food!

So anyway....I come back to the office after a full day of listening to the constant stream of whinning and crying....and looking over some really deserving people to help with a small miracle or two......and what do I find?

My inbox is jammed with emails. You truly are not equipped to comprehend the capacity of this mail account either, it's fucking enormous. Nothing but irrational/spiteful e-mails. Not the normal emails either. Sure, I'm used to getting hatemail from the DNC....and the ACLU, but this is different. Apparently there are lot of people reading your post Perth, and that is causing me more than a little discomfort here. I cut and pasted just a few of the headings from the emails.
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To:God-almighty@Heaven.mainoffice.com From:Buddha@Dharma.4u.com

What the fuck!? Jesus couldn't even pass the LSAT and you're rewriting the commandments instructing people to follow his "teachings"??? ROTFLMAO
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To:God-almighty@Heaven.mainoffice.com From:GWB@WH.Bunker.govv

What the fuck!? Are you sending Jesus back or what? Rumsfeld requests he become a Marine this time if he's coming back. Please advise.

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To:God-almighty@Heaven.mainoffice.com From:Allah@Die4me.now.comm

What the fuck!? We aren't going to have another problem here, are we? Just you and me......far side of Pluto....we can solve this without the little people.

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To:God-almighty@Heaven.mainoffice.com From:Noah@Party.ark.comm

What the fuck!? Are you going to do the rain thing again? Thought you said I wouldnt be needed for another cruise again. (confused )

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To:God-almighty@Heaven.mainoffice.com From:Hashem@yorpocket2mine.comm

What the fuck!? You aren't authorized to rewrite the commandments. Don't make me sue you again. Yes, and don't forget you still owe me $10.

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To:God-almighty@Heaven.mainoffice.com From:PRobertson@rWing.nut.comm

What the fuck!? We're ready when you are for the second coming but, Jesus Christ, we've been waiting a long time here. What's the holdup!? (frustrated)


So, as you can see, the whole issue of rewriting the commandments re-ignites hope and fervor that I'm not prepared to deal with right now. I wish you would PM me with things like this.

On the upside, your got some great lines there. When I was working with Moses, your society was completely different. Yes, you all have the same general characteristics, but you've come a long way technologically.

It has always been my goal to bring humanity to "another level". You have to start in first gear from a dead stop and that's pretty much where you where at that time.

There's a lot of updating I need to do down there. It's complicated. Hang with me, I'm working on making the world a better place.

Op. Jesus just popped his head into my office. He's got the pre-realease version of Doom 3 for X box.

He wants me to tell you all that "it fucking rocks, man!"

I'll be back to chat later. I have to get back with GWB before he does something really stupid. He's a bit panicked about now.


Praise me, pass the ammo

God

(edit: spelling hey, even I fuck up sometimes)

Aw geez, God. Didn't mean to cause you all that trouble. I guess "The Bible, Part II" is off then?
Well, if Jesus says it it must be true. Crossfire, Jesus and I kind of disagree one which version of Doom 3 you should get, but he's got that whole "turning water into wine" thing going, so I guess that trumps my "foul-mouthed reimagining of the Bible" thing.

Look, God, how many times must I keep repeating this to you? You are not learning the Dharma. You have not even achieved the level of a stream entrant. Suffering follows in your path as the wheel follows the hoof of the oxen. Look at the world if you don't believe me. Do those folks look happy to You? Cut with the bragging and return Your mind to the breath. You've caused enough havoc for the next three eternities as it is. Study the Heart Sutra as I requested. "Gate, gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha." You know, "Gone, gone! Gone all the way to the other shore! The entire community of beings (this includes YOU, Big Guy). Wonderful!" It WOULD be wonderful if you got enlightened before another eternity has to pass. Only about one fifth of the world believes in You. Get real and get with the program already. Namaste - The Buddha

I wouldn't say that. The questions are, what would the up to date copy look like? What would it include? What are the goals of re-making it? Who will it speak to ? Is it backwards compatible? Have my goals changed? How would it be distributed? Will people really benefit from it? The whole thing gets tricky fast.

Consider this scenario.

I send someone back down there again. He goes around all "I'm the son of God" again, and winds being heckled and ridiculed......just like old times. He's promoting "the new bible" in whichever form is finally released. I give him a little power over time and space....and he uses it for demos. His target audience, the unwashed masses, finds him scary or ridiculous. The power mongers find him credible and want to re-create some of his powers....so they humor him, study his "magic" and keep him distracted from helping the people that he's there to try to help.

At best I would have to give him "massive powers" that he could overpower any born and bred human with. I don't have a problem giving a son the keys to the Caddy in that respect, but the people in general are fearful of the thought of any being having powers they cannot understand. It's not like the old days. People now have the power to destroy the entire human race.

If that happens, I have to start alllllllll over again. It aint easy, let me tell you.

If the second coming freaks out the people, they might not just kill him, but millions of others. I've fallen so far behind in this project that there is such a diversity of different philosophies that they are all stepping on each others toes.

We need a global OS, but Kofi wont be installing it.

So, that's just a peek at the intracacies of the situation.

And, Jesus just isn't the man he used to be. You parents think your kids are staying a bit too long at home? He's been here sponging off me for, what, a couple thousand years now. I can barely get him away from the X box long enough to go visit some deserving souls. Not the man he used to be.


Well......like I say, he doesn't do that sort of thing here often. Sometimes I encourage him to practice up, but he's lost his mojo.

I heard him cackling the other day from 3 dimensions away. When I stopped in his room to see what was going on, I caught him crushing a beer can on his forehead. There was a pile of crushed cans right next to him. He must have thought that was quite amusing.

Imagine the disappointment I felt at that point.

So I'm thinking of going another direction. Maybe a woman to be the second coming. I can't get past the potential horrors of sending a woman though. Imagine what a woman with godly powers would be like having a period.

That thought scares me.....and I'm God

Maybe Jesus will turn things around. He's done some awesome work. Maybe he will again, who knows.


Ohh, and I found this in my inbox, thought you might get a kick out of it.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------
To:God-almighty@Heaven.mainoffice.com From:Bubba@feelYorass.com

What the FucK? Didn't you hear me say "oh God....oh God....oh God" the other night? Hey, you aren't still pissed at me are you?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------



God

Hello Buddha,


I sincerly appreciate the Christmas card you send last year and I'm gunuinely embarrassed that I didn't reply back at that time.

[God thinks to self] I wonder what other god might fall into this thread[/God thinks to self]

Yes, I know. We've discussed this before. It's not my thing. It's your thing.

That's the problem Bu, the people aren't happy. Materialism and watching TV, and the DNC has led people away from me. They are hungry for my word, but it's become "uncool" for many to even mention my name! I do need to send someone down again to clarify the message.

I can see your perspective on this....but I disagree. Here again, there are people not practicing the will of me. They preach but don't follow the word themselves. That's not to say there aren't millions that are doing a great job, but I need a better PR guy.

( grabs a report showing some poll numbers)

Actually, it's less than that. There are people that classify themselves as Christians but don't have the true love of me in them.

More than 20% of the total population is not happy though. Seems like you have a little work to do yourself.

Well, in the big picture here, we're competitiors in many ways. I'm not going to convert......I wouldn't expect that you would either.

So where does that leave us? Our systems are not compatible. Should we abolish religion altogether so I can play more golf? Should I just leave the herd?

Are you coming in to take the territory? Maybe, but I don't think so.

Here again, we're looking at your vs my people. Either side isn't going to be converted by force.

It seems to me that the only way we can truly win is to send the best representative down.

(Looks over at Jesus, laughing at a Stempy on TV)

I've got a lot of work to do here.

But hey, sorry for not keeping in contact with you. Your people are great. I wish my people we as mathematically inclined, but hey, they got their virtues too.

May Peace Be with You,

God

Conversations with God.
 

Hi Dog, (excuse me, I'm dyslexic) glad to see you finally came out of the closet and into the cellar. I must have missed the east to west lightning bolt and the shouting thing.

Would you mind starting a thread that answers all of our questions?
Of course, we wouldn't expect you to divulge the Lottery or Powerball numbers, or cure any STD's or the obvious mental afflictions, and you can leave us to find our own way out of this dark cellar and into the light of your truth.

I'll start it off, K?

1. Did you really spend all of that time with Neale Donald Walsch or are his books the result of his overindulging in weed?

2. Did the 911 hijackers get their 72 virgins, or did you give the bastards a good suprise?

3. Will I really go blind, or was my mommy lying to me? (I'm willing to get glasses).

Well, thanks for listening...I'm sure that other people have questions too.

I don't want to sound like some candy assed God here, but in reality, I can spend time with everyone. It really only depends on your willingness to communicate with me and to hear what I have to say. Do I hang with Neale and drink beers? No.

It may be somewhat confusing to hear, but I'm God, Jesus's old man. The God that watches over/listens to/inspires/loves/advises Christians. Buddha has made a brief appearance, maybe Allah will too. He could give you a bit more information about the 911 people, I can't. It's not that I don't care about everyone in the world, but they all just don't speak the same language, the same religion as I do.

So, without going through the hassle of accessing someone's file, the context of their question may exclude me from commenting.

Ah, you are witty. If there's one thing God likes, it's a sense of humor. There are few things in the world that can compare to the power of laughter and humor. Sure, love is good too, don't get me wrong, but humor seems to be the best way to me to get my message across.

Having said that, I'll try to answer your question provided this doesn't turn into a wanking off thread.....or a ....well....other sexual issues thread. That's really not what I am here for. I'm trying to deal more with humanity's urgent issues and ways to promote it's survival and continued evolution.

So, the short anwer......she fibbed, but it was in your best interest.

Now a question for you. What can I do to help people get through this tumultuous period in history? Besides giving women 4 breasts, I think someone brought that up last week. Not what I'm looking for, funny but this is a serious issue with me.



Got God

God

[quote=God]
Now a question for you. What can I do to help people get through this tumultuous period in history?


Got God

God[/QUOTE

How about that great comet prediction that is supposed to bring about the three days of darkness? You could let the astronomers track it until it enters the atmosphere, effectively scaring the Be-Jesus (sorry) out of everybody...
then, at the last possible monent, turn it into a giant whipped cream pie! That would let everybody know who's in charge and let them know you have a sense of humor too. Whaddyathink?