SO... FRUSTRATED...
 

My stepson is a picky eater, to put it mildly. Assuming you count all kinds of crackers under one heading, I can literally count on one hand the foods he will semi-reliably eat. Then I can add in the number of foods he has ever even put in his mouth, without needing any of my toes.

My husband and I are not pushovers. Dinner is what it is, and if he won't eat it, well, he'll be hungrier at the next meal (and for Christ's sake, we're not serving him liver and brussels sprouts, it's freaking macaroni and cheese, and hotdogs, and chicken nuggets, and pizza, and, and, and...). If he tries even one bite of anything that's in front of him he can have one of the staple foods he'll eat, but that's only worked once. Tonight we upgraded to "unless you eat one bite of something on your plate, it's going to have to be bedtime right now." After throwing the requisite fit, and then spending an hour laying in bed, he informed us that he wanted to eat. He held a single tiny bite of canned pears in his mouth for a full three or four minutes, drank big gulps of water around it several times--and then spit it out.

I could stab my fucking eyes out, I really could.

Has he been checked for food allergies? How old is he?

I was the same way. Bad news - I still won't eat seafood or salads.

My goodness, how old is he? Tell him he could have had it really bad and had Joan Crawford for a stepmommy (red meat anyone?). :eek:

Has he been checked for food allergies? How old is he?

He's two and a half, allergic to peanuts and eggs (and nothing else, he had a full allergy workup after the discovery of the peanut reaction.)

I was the same way. Bad news - I still won't eat seafood or salads.

That's not so bad--at least you don't have to say "I only eat Ritz crackers."

I have it on good authority that he will not actually starve.

He will eat. Do not cave in. Parental guilt is one hell of a motivator to cave in during the "i only want to eat fishsticks" battle.

Oh, and if he says he's going to hold his breath until he turns blue, just let him.

Assuming no actual airway obstructions, if he really toughs it out, he'll pass out and start breathing again normally.

Spectacular.

Most curtainmonkeys only try it once.

Oh, and just stop buying the foods that he demands to eat. Serve only the one's he's refusing. No bargaining. You're the mommy. He's the kid.

I sympathize. Our daughter actually threw up zucchini after we insisted that she eat a couple bites. She's quite the drama queen.

You're the mommy. He's the kid.
HOOOOOYAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!

We went thru this with my step son , he was in the fishsticks and mac + cheese catagory .
This kid would pick out specks of onion POWDER from soup !!!
One time after church we went to Red Lobster for lunch , I told the waitress we would have 4 sweet iced teas( me , my wife , step son , and step daughter ) and an order of calamri while we deseded what we whanted to eat . Michael was evedently hungery when the food and drinks arived and dug in to the calimari , His mom and I just looked at each other funny as he continued to dig in . I told him what he was eating was squid , he didn't beleve me . When the waitress came back I asked he what it was that michael was eating , she said calimiri , yes but what is camari ?? i asked , she said squid . I thought Michaels face was going to turn in side out :eek: :eek: But he kept on eating it .
Now he is telling me how good susie is !!!!!
Weird how these things turn out , ain't it :3_eyes: :3eye: :eyebrow:

Man, I hope I don't regret asking, but what (or who) is susie?

Several of my friends have been successful with the "he'll eat when he's hungry" approach. In general, although it might make you feel like a better parent or more reasonable person (which, don't forget, a 2 1/2 year-old is not), the less bargaining and game playing about food, the more compliance and peace at the table.

Thank goodness, my kids haven't been so picky as to refuse to eat, but one of them doesn't like dissimilar foods to touch. To this day (she's 12), she's never had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Thank goodness, my kids haven't been so picky as to refuse to eat, but one of them doesn't like dissimilar foods to touch.

I was always like that--there's a character in the movie "Toys" who talks about being a military man and wanting little barricades between each of his foods on his plate.

Oh, and just stop buying the foods that he demands to eat. Serve only the one's he's refusing. No bargaining. You're the mommy. He's the kid.

Oh, I totally agree. But for the most part we only have him for 2 day stretches. He can and has refused to eat until he goes back to his mother's house. :(

This is me. If you don't want them eating it, don't buy it. You are not responsible for what the kid eats, just for what you offer. Sometimes their favorite things need to go away for a awhile so they can explore other things - with my kids it's breakfast cereal. I don't mind them having it per say, but when they start eating it to the exclusoin of all other foods, I stop buying it

It's not all drama. From my memories as a picky eater, she may have actually been nauseous. Probably psychosomatic, but real nonetheless.

I agree, but the psychosomatic nausea came from the drama queenliness. ;)

You guys are so brave actually having children. I would have zero patience with this sort of thing.

My parents tried their hardest to get me to eat any melon aside from watermelon. They figured I was just being stubborn and picky and it took them several months and a few vomiting episodes to realize that melon actually makes me ill. I don't know why, don't know if there's an actual allergy to honeydew and cantelope, but to this day, whenever I eat it, my stomach almost immediately and violently rejects it.

My mom did the same thing to me with rabbit when I was a tot. She cooked one up and to me it looked like fried chicken, so I had no problem loading up my plate and promptly devouring it. I came back for seconds and while loading up my plate again, I asked why the chicken's bones looked funny. "That's because it's not chicken, it's rabbit." she said. I only paused for a second before continuing to load up the plate. It tasted good, so I figured what the heck. :D

I kind of thought that before I had a kid. It changes you somehow, and you learn you can tolerate more than you ever imagined possible.
I have similar problems with both cantaloupe and honeydew. Mostly what I find though is that eating it causes my mouth to break out in sores and my tongue to swell. I have the same problem with watermelon, though the effect is much milder. Bananas do the same thing, and almonds, before roasting, do it as well. I never really bothered to find out why it happens, though if I were sufficiently interested, I could probably figure it out, especially because after the almond is roasted, I have no problem.

Hm...this made me think: could it be behavorial? He'll eat at Mom's house, but not at ("bad old") stepmommy's house? "She's not my real mommy, so I'm not gonna eat what she gives me!"

Sorry...watched an episode of Dr. Phil today.
:D

Little Sidhe is a dream in this category. If it's even slow moving it's food. The only thing that she has rejected outright is yellow Triaminic, and that's not food. She'll even eat wassabe.

This reminds me of a story my mom tells everyone who mentions how healthfully my kids eat. She says she was riding me through the grocery store in a cart when I was about two. I was eating cottage cheese and peaches out of a little Tupperware container and an old classmate walked up to her and began talking. When she noticed what I was eating she said to my mom "Wow! How do you get her to eat that? Kevin (her son, the same age as me) won't eat anything but cookies and buttered noodles!" My mom said "Sure he will. Give him a few days." The woman just walked away and didn't say anything.

Hm...this made me think: could it be behavorial? He'll eat at Mom's house, but not at ("bad old") stepmommy's house? "She's not my real mommy, so I'm not gonna eat what she gives me!"

It's not a question of eating, but what he'll eat. The problem is she's content to let him eat crackers for every meal, and he knows it.

What I usually do is, after cooking a perfectly good dinner, I call the kids to the table and at the first peep of complaint, I get down my .45 and start waving it around in the air like a wild woman--sometimes I have to fire a few rounds off (like if we're having meatloaf) but after that--everybody settles down for some good, old-fashioned quality dinner time! ;)

That's the problem all right. Parents need to be consistent and present a united front. She's undermining everything you are attempting to acheive. Is she a remotely reasonable person? Have you guys attempted to discuss this with her? If the kid is getting delicious junk food at her place, he won't eat healthy stuff at yours.

Will he eat spaghetti with red sauce? You can hide a lot of stuff (blended cooked vegetables) in the red sauce.

Is she a remotely reasonable person?

Of course not. [tangent]I know very few single mothers (who have never been married) who are. Most of them feel guilty for the situation their children are in, and over-compensate by spoiling them, and later as the child gets older try to be their friend and confidante instead of their parent.[/tangent] She's of the mindset that "starving" him is cruel. She reasons that she's giving him wheat crackers and other fortified-type things, so he's not eating unhealthily, per se. She doesn't understand that it's his behavior that's unhealthy and that she won't be able to just change the pattern by someday deciding "ok, now he's old enough to know better."

Just wait until he's old/clever enough to wait until you're out of the room or not looking and hide food he doesn't want to eat in unlikely places, not to be found for YEARS.

*shrugs off twinge of guilt* :angel:

Man, I hope I don't regret asking, but what (or who) is susie? Sorry sucky Zippyt spelling , it should be SUSHI
This reminds me of a story my mom tells everyone who mentions how healthfully my kids eat. She says she was riding me through the grocery store in a cart when I was about two. I was eating cottage cheese and peaches out of a little Tupperware container and an old classmate walked up to her and began talking. When she noticed what I was eating she said to my mom "Wow! How do you get her to eat that? Kevin (her son, the same age as me) won't eat anything but cookies and buttered noodles!" My mom said "Sure he will. Give him a few days." The woman just walked away and didn't say anything. :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
HA HA HA HA HA HA Got to love the line "Sure he will. Give him a few days."

I finally tried sushi for the first time. Buddha roll. My asshole brother didn't tell me it had shrimp in it, and I HATE shrimp. He even went so far as to hide the tail end so he could show it to me afterwards and witness the look of horror on my face.

Long story short, he's not such an asshole after all, and I could LIVE on sushi. One of the most amazing things I've ever had. I can't wait to try something else.

Edit: Something else in the "sushi" family. I thought the clarification might be necessary.

I http://www.cellar.org/images/newsmilies/heartpump.gif sushi. Not a big fan of squid or mackerel, never tried urchin and don't plan to, but everything else is just yummy.

We used to get this dish called seafood yaka soba , basicaly any thing that was getting a little to ripe for the sushi bar got cooked up and thrown in with noodles , the kids would FREAK every time they saw me eating a squid tentical !!!!!

Sushi is great....but most shellfish is too chewy raw. Yellowtail is my favorite.

Regarding feeding picky kids...one thing that worked for a friend of mine was to keep serving them whatever they wouldn't eat at the next meal. If they wouldn't eat meatloaf for dinner, the plate would be saved until breakfast, heated up and served again. Once the kids figured out they weren't going to get something they liked at the next meal, they got hungry and ate.

I never had to resort to that but did have one really picky kid. She's 16 now and eats pretty darn well. I can only attribute that to continuing to serve a large variety and allowing her to try things when she wanted to.

food allergy (my father had the SAME exact set of symptoms to these foods, except his throat would swell up too), the reason for roasting causing no reaction is because he heat denatures the protein that sets off your reation.

Thanks Labrat. I'd always wondered about that. :)

What does this mean?

It's one of those things the scientists make up when they don't know why something happens, so they'll look smart & continue to receive federal grant money.

I don't eat bait.

Yes, I have tried. Yes, it was visually attractive. Even a ton of wasabi won't make it go down.

I will eat those ones that have no fishy parts ... the vegetable rolls. I can throw those badboys down like you wouldn't believe. Especially with brown rice. MMMmmmmmmm.

heat causes proteins to lose their unique shape (denature) by breaking bonds that are originally formed to make them into the shape they need to be to do what they are supposed to do. when this happens, the portion that was recognized by your body (causing the annoying allergy) no longer has the same shape, therefor is no longer recognized.

PBBBBBLLLLTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!! :p

Very true. The kid won't starve. Or suffocate.

I don't have this problem, since lil Sidhe will eat almost anything you put in front of her. There are a few things she won't eat, but that's probably only because it's too fast for her to catch.

Don'tcha just love the art of temper-tantrum throwing? I just ignore it when it happens, and it usually stops--or stick the kid in a room and tell them that when they're done, they can come out.

The kid'll eat. Don't worry. Why not try topping crackers with stuff, like EZ cheez, or make pizza crackers (crackers with cheese, sauce, and hamburger or something on top). Make it a game. Hell, feed him nothing but crackers. He'll get over that addiction soon enough, if that's all he gets for a year....


Sidhe

LOL!

I used to be a camp counselor and people would ask me how I dealt with a cabin of 14 rowdy boys.

"I start off by killing one as an example to the rest."

In retrospect, if one of my campers had ever actually gone missing I might have been in deep shit.

We had two HUGE breakthroughs this afternoon.

First, he tried (and subsequently loved, of course) a grilled cheese sandwich, which he had never been willing to touch before.

And even better, halfway through, he asked if he could fold it "like a sandwich." Prior to today, he would ONLY eat things open-faced, and wouldn't even pick up a sandwich presented with two slices of bread. Even if you pulled the halves apart again, he would still refuse to eat it. But today, today, he folded his "bread with cheese" (because calling it a "sandwich" is a deal-killer) in half and ate it.

I will persist in shoving out of my mind how pathetic it is that he's 3 and he just ate a sandwich for the first time in his life.

small victorys clodd , small victorys !!!!!
Be Happy that he did this much !!!!!!
Our boy didn't eat ANYTHING weird , ( onions , peppers , ANY thing )( this kid would pick onion powder out of soup , No shit he would have a napkin full of specks ) untill he was older ( oh and I tricked him into eating some calamari !!!!!)
Now ( at 23 ) he is saying how GOOD sushi is !!!!
Strange how it all works out in the wash , ain't it ????

I agree. I remember throwing up after being forced to eat macaroni and cheese when I was about ten. I hated it so much that it did make me that nauseous. I love it now, along with scrambled eggs, mustard, and a lot of other things that I couldn't bring myself to eat as a kid. Still hate peanut butter though, unless it's in a Reese's cup. But when I was younger, I honestly hated a lot of foods. I was not trying to be being difficult or controlling.
(I remember telling my Dad how good the chicken was he had cooked - better than Mom's, and when he informed me that it was rabbit, I immediately stopped eating. My great-aunt used to make the best apple pies, they were delicious until we realized that they were really green tomato pies. Funny how that works....)
Just stick to your guns and remember...he will outgrow it.

*totally off topic* I've never heard of a green tomato pie...wow. And it tasted like apples?

Green Tomato Pie
 

I never got the recipe, but I know it had apple pie spice in it, which had to have given it the apple pie taste. And amazingly, the texture wasn't at all different from apple pie. The thing that gave it away was when my brother asked what the little seeds were in his apple pie.

Mine won't eat a sandwich unless it's bread and ham. Anything else is a deal-killer. He won't eat mac and cheese either, which is just wierd.

And communist to boot.

My kid was super picky and hated everything I made. Eventually it got to the point where I stopped catering to his pickiness and he got over it. If you don't like what everyone else is eating for dinner, you can sit it out. Eventually they WILL get hungry and will have to eat what is there. It's kinda cool, because he tried stuff (ie vegetables) that he would never touch before, and actually likes some of them now.

My friend's pediatrician told her, "no child has ever starved to death because they refused to eat. Don't cater to him."

Somehow, the child made it to adolescence, so the doctor must have been correct.

Well, he'll be with us for six weeks this summer, so we'll see how it goes. No more holding out just till he makes it back to his mom's house.

Perth--same here, no mac and cheese, as well as no pizza, no spaghetti, no chicken soup, no hamburgers, no ketchup, no bananas... completely communist. :)

Clodfobble,
We have been reading Penelope Leach's books on babies, toddlers, and those sort of people. It is really eye opening (presuming you haven't stabbed them out already) to think about these situations from the perspective of the toddler.

Here is a link to a site with excerpts from her book. http://www.babycentre.co.uk/general/539903 I'd get it if I were you. It's like a toddler instruction manual/troubleshooting guide combined with a translation dictionary.

She's British, so you do run the risk that your kid will grow up spelling 'color' colour. You can probably pass as Canadian though. Well, maybe not with a Texas accent.


Good luck

'

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

A winner is me!!
 

5 days into summer vacation, we have won the war. Break out the "Mission Accomplished" banner. :)

I took him to the grocery store to specifically pick out foods that he might like to eat for his lunches during the day. Two of the things he picked out were baby carrots and cherry tomatoes. (He still rejected many other things, so I assumed he must have had these before and knew he liked them.) That evening at dinner, he refused to even put them in his mouth. We told him that it was his choice not to eat, but it was our choice what to serve. He ate nothing.

So we had carrots and tomatoes for breakfast. He ate nothing. We had them for lunch. Still nothing. By dinnertime, he had gone for 30 hours without eating anything (and drinking only a little water), and was acting somewhat woozy but steadfastly refusing to eat even a single bite of carrot. He kept asking me to spank him or put him in time out, but I just told him we were absolutely NOT going to punish him for not eating because that was his choice, and that we would just wait patiently until he was hungry enough to eat a bite of carrots or tomatoes.

For dinner, we added to his plate of tomatoes and carrots some of what we were having for dinner (chicken and penne pasta in mustard cream sauce with cranberries and mushrooms and almonds,) which he has also always refused. He shoveled it into his mouth, and announced that he DID like it after all, surprise surprise! We abandoned the carrots and tomatoes at that point, but for breakfast the next day we gave him something new (strawberry-banana smoothie) and he ate it. That night for dinner he ate both macaroni and cheese and baked beans, which he had ALSO refused on every occasion before.

Last night, though, we had real proof that we had won. He had dug in and refused to eat his peas (unlike the other new foods, which he had just decided to eat in the first place), and I was calmly explaining that that was fine, but we would have to have peas for breakfast then, and he sighed and said, "Alright..." and ate a bite of peas. Just like that.

I. WIN.

PH34R my l33t D1sciplin4ry 5KillZ.

Later, my husband and the kids were watching an old Robotech episode, and he declared that the main character ate HIS peas too. We agreed--I mean, after all, he's got to be strong to fight all the bad robots, right?

I am somewhat worried that carrots and tomatoes have been permanently demonized in his mind, but I can live with that.

Great story, and good work by you!

Suh-Weet! Nice job, not only will your relationship be better because that tension will be gone, the little rugrat will be a little heathier with some variety in his diet. Gotta admire going for 30 hrs with no food, I have never gone more than 12. Hope he uses that power for good, not evil when he's older and wiser :)

Great story, and what a happy ending!

I would respectfully offer that, yes, you did win, but so did he. He won a meal (30 hrs!), he won an understanding that the foods he relented on were ok, he won and understanding that food's for eating not punishment or reward. But most importantly, he won the confidence that you're (plural) trustworthy. You said it, you meant it, and it happened. You're reliable, you can be counted on. And that's HUGE. It's only ok to venture into territory unknown if there's a sure retreat to safety. You gave him that assurance, you're a rock.

My congratulations to you all. :applause:

My cagey mom had my brother and me convinced that peas were really "proton energy pills". (I still believe it is true.)

Awesome Clodfobble!

I can't really add to what BigV said.

I remember someone once saying the trick is not to make threats but to make promises.

It was also wonderful that food didn't become an arena for punishment and discipline, but was matter of fact: this is what is for dinner.