near death experiences
 

ever had one?

a couple.

1) angry people. foreign language. bullets. explosives.

2) falling asleep behind the wheel until hitting the ditch. i never do cruise control anymore.

A few:

--Head meets Central A/C Unit (1983)
--Head meets dumpster at 15-20 mph (1984)
--Body meets moving car (1986)
--Car meets another car (1994)

I've had two:

-8 years old or so, swimming in the deep end of the pool at camp. A counselor I played with a lot thinks, "hey, this'll be a funny prank," and tells a 4- or 5-year-old camper to "go jump on her." I blacked out before the lifeguards pulled the laughing kid off me, but fortunately never breathed in any water so I came to pretty quickly after. (The counselor was fired.)

-13ish years old, crossing a busy street, too lazy to walk all the way to the crosswalk half a block down--I decided that the bushes were no real visual impediment as I could see the tops of the cars above the bushes. Waited until no car tops were visible, and darted out. The motorcycle swerved, so close that the chick's left shoulder hit my backpack and knocked me down. I sat on the median crying for almost an hour before I ever managed to cross the other half of the road.

Explains a lot... :)

Unintentionally flew a BMW motorcycle 84 feet over moving traffic.

Just one that's really graphic so I'll sum up...

My psychotic first husband + knife = me bleeding in the bathtub for a couple hours, passing out, managing to get into my bed, passing out, and eventually healing and getting better.

Oh, it started before then...you'd think I was being abused with all the knots that were on my forehead as a child. :) Among them:

--Head meets refrigerator (1976)
--Head meets gate (1977)
--Head meets door (1978)
--Shampoo bottle meets head (1982)

1971 - innocently took a whole five minutes to buy a comic book during an armed robbery. Found out what I'd missed, the next week when I went back to buy another. "There's my hero!" the owner shouted.

1992-2003 - married to a frigid, unloving bitch who sucked out my soul.

Near death experience huh?

Well, I worked in a maximum security prison for 20 years once... :yelsick:

Things are going well between you and Sharon, then?

I fell from a railroad trestle platform into the rocky river below. I was relatively unscathed but it happened in slow motion so I had a lot of time to think about my impending death on the way down.
Also, was sucked out into the ocean in an undertow. The surfer that I climbed on top of to save myself was probably closer to death than I was, but it was pretty scary.

Syc, I forgive quickly, but 11 years with an unloving frigid bitch is closer to near-death than anything one can experience.

Two; both involving water.

Canoeing down the Chattahoochie River in North GA, the water was really low which turned what was supposed to be a "safe" rapid into a raging torrent about halfway down. My canoe hit a rock and flipped over and, somehow, my leg got pinned under a rock and the current was so strong, I couldn't get it out. The canoe belonging to the guy that was behind me also flipped and when it slammed into me, it jarrred me loose. But for that, I'm not sure I could have escaped.

Scuba diving in Hawaii, I was given a tank about 30% smaller than the ones I used when learning how to dive. It was really my first or second dive after getting certified so I was very inexperienced. I got used to looking at the pressure to see how much air I had left. I didn't factor in that the same pressure in a smaller tank means much less air (and much less time). I realized the problem a little late and the pothead guide I was with didn't see the problem so I motored back to the boat by myself. About the time I found the anchor rope (40' depth) and started up, I ran completely out of air - its like sucking on an empty beer bottle while being starved for air. I passed out on the way up - fortunately, the guys on the boat saw me coming up and came in after me. I think I broke every rule of scuba diving on that dive - leaving my buddy, not ditching the gear and surfacing, etc.

Near death experence ???
A few , the one that stands out the most was once when we were Helo-repelling ( USMC ) My LT ( who was a CERTIFED repel master ) tied us in to the rope to make sure we didn't mess up , I backed up to the edge of the helo , jumped and heard this metalic "CLICK !!" :confused: ,
I looked down and relised i was no longer tied in to the rope :eek: :eek: , I burned up a perfectly good pair of gloves getting my self stopped .
Thankfully my LT had shown us how to switch ropes while repelling ( just in case we ever had to ) , I tied off and got rigged in correctly , poped loose the slip knot , spun around and looked up , the LT was looking over the edge with eyes as big as dinner plates as the helo was slowly going down , i repeled the rest of the way down . The LT and I had a short disscusion after that . I NEVER used Government issue carabeiners or harnesses after that , oh i would put them on , but when it came time to tie in to the rope i would unbutton my fly and use my own harness and rigging( no i didn't use THAT to tie on to the rope i had a rock climbing harness, LOCKING carabiener , and figuer 8 under my cammies ) .

I'm glad SOME people are able to take the comic book buying experience seriously!

I have more often seen other people have near-death experiences as they did something stupid on the road. The only one I actively participated in was the summer of '97 when a guy made a left turn in front of me that he really shouldn't have made. I'm 100% certain I was out thru the windshield and mostly, if not completely, dead, if it hadn't been for my seatbelt.

I woke up to find myself sitting twelve feet underwater after smashing my head on a diving board and blacking out.

I've been zapped by some fair amounts of electricity, too, but they were all from capacitors not connected to a supply. 330V, even for a short duration, is really painful once it lets go.

My own childhood experimentation with electricity managed not to be a near death experience only because of a household circuit breaker. My parents were responsible parents and had shielded all of the household outlets with those little plastic safety plugs.

Except for the one underneath my parents' bed, which is of course the one into which I poked the metal nailfile. I have issues with electricity to this day. I get around most of them, but always eye outlets with some suspicion, as I know there is nothing that keeps the electricity from leaking out ...

Lessee, what else ...

A drunk at a party tried to strangle me because I wouldn't return his car keys. Rescued by two slightly less drunk people at the party.

Oh, and a patient attacked me. I managed to keep his hands away from my throat and face, and ultimately was rescued by a coworker, but somewhere in the melee my hand got broken. There's a thread on that here somewhere.

I got run over by a kid on a motorbike while on holiday in Gran Canaria a few years back. Still got a limp from it.

1992, I was on a large plane (Aviateca) whose landing gear wouldnt come down. We spent over a hour trying to shake it loose, then had to dump fuel over the ocean and go in for an emergency landing at the San Salvador airport. The front and half of the back gear came down. Met by fire trucks and ambulances. No injuries, rousing applause and prayers upon touchdown. I was a zombie then lost it when I finally saw my spouse at the gate.

1) Near drug overdose in 1975ish. I was told it was synthetic THC, it was probably PCP. I was told, here, go ahead and do some, so I did both lines...I was only supposed to do one. Then decided I needed to drive the ten miles home. Looked down at speedometer because I thought I was going over 70 on the highway...I was going 30. Got home, fell down basement stairs, and lay there on the concrete floor for what I later calculated had been six hours, completely unable to move, pretty sure I wasn't breathing (this, of course, must have been untrue), and unable to see anything. I really, really thought that my mother was going to come downstairs and find my dead body in the morning, and that kind of bummed me out because she didn't really deserve that sort of thing. Eventually, I started to see some light out of one corner of my eye. It got brighter over time, and soon I realized the sun was coming up outside and I was seeing light through the basement window. As luck would have it, I was able to crawl up the stairs, stand up and walk around the house a bit.

I was fucked up for a week after that.

2) 25 years of heavy drinking.

NEar death, huh? WEll lets see. I spent a big part of my childhood with stitches in various part of me because I was more or less clutsy.
In 1991 I had a gun pulled on me at school and managed to bluf my way out of that.
1992 I tries to airmail a brand new Cadillac(sp) personally. Bad road edges, no shoulder and ditch culvurts equal sommersaults in cars. I was unharmed but my freind in the passenger seat cut his knee climbing out.

I suffered a minor kidney failure in middle school do to congenital blockage and spent six hour hopeing for death to releive the pain.

Had a shared experience of near death too. My nephew dorwned when he was about a year and half old. I did the CPR to revive him. I know it sounds hokey to say it this way but I almost swear that the world around me was getting darker and darker till the kid started breathing. I never thought puking could be such a great sound.

And finally(for now) I was once woken up by an ex-girlfriend while in bed with her mother. That one was quite frankly a NDE. HAd to make it up to her.

whoa.

in bed with her MOM?! you friggin southerners.....

then you made it up to her?

are you intimating that you've had the vaunted mother daughter exacta?

give it

Shameful secrets... nah Not really.
 

I was kinda dating a girl I knew in school. It mostly involved riding with her Friday nights when all the rough kids from school got together to drink. SHe use to get drunk and pass out on the hod of her car. One of those big old Monte Carlos. The rest of the people she hung with would usually just leave her there and she would sober up and go home. SInce I was with her and had no intention of sitting out under the brige all night I drove her home. (at the time I was fifteen and had no license. Thankfully we lived on a sea island on the coast that was a lot a farming so most of us could drive long before being legal. It got to be a habit that I would take her home, get her to bed and then sit up reading the rest of the night till she sobered up to take me home.

It is important to say we had engaged in a little heavy petting but nothing more at the time. Her mother use to come home not long after we did usually with which ever BF she was back with that week. We would say hi as she ushered them to her room. After a couple of months or so of this her mom came home fairly early and alone one night. drunk, angry, and looking for a fight. She had a few things to say about men in general, and specifically about why her 17 year old daughter would hang out with someone so much younger. So I told her Because I didn't get drunk and piss on her when she passed out, I didn't leave her laying on the hood of her car in the middle of nowhere or take advantage of her and the sex is fantastic. If you have bothered to read this far you will remember I said me and her daughter had only petted. THis points back to the biggest problem in my life. I am American by birth, SOuthern by the grace of god and a SMartass by long standing family tradition. THe cheap shot was intended to either piss her mother off or maybe sober her up. I guess she just got my Irish up calling me a good for nothin kid. Anyway, her responce was " Prove it"

I did. I awoke late the next morning to Michelle stand over me say
" THree questions. Did you undress me? Why am I so hung over? and what are you doing in bed with my mother?"
I answered, Yes, because you were drinking Tequila and please dont make me answer that.

She didn't talk to me for a week. When she did she asked me to take a ride with her. We spent a very interesting night in a church graveyard together. Her fantasy, personally at the time Graveyards at night creeped me out. I always heard whispers. She knew this and had great fun at my expense switching between erotic and spooky. Nothing like stopping suddenly during the act and whispering Did something just move over there? Did you see that guy? in a grave yard to get your nerves on edge. The fact we were laying on an above ground crypt did not help. Some people may say it was disrespectful to the dead. If you believe that the dead are an energy form all there own then I prefer to think of it as sharing with those in need.

Funny thing. Her mother was always much nicer to me after that. :o

There, you asked, you've read it, you cant unread it.

I talk far better than I type. I promise I am slightly more educated them my spelling and typing might indicate. I usually dont notice how bad the typos are till after I post and I always forget the spellchack.

snicker....good one, dude. good story, too. i think it qualifies. so....who was better?

Frankly? The daughter. I have absolutly nothing against older women. But her mother was kinda one of those washed up old bar hoppers. I think it was the almost deperate nature of her that .... How about I just say the daughter and save the Cellar from anothe screenful of me.

When I was a kid I was on a swing and tried to swing really high and jump off so I could get past a small retaining wall holding all the sand in. I landed on my head on the cement like a lawn dart. Another time I was in the scouts and we stopped at some warm springs that were about 6 feet deep with some cliffs on the sides. We kept jumping in higher and higher on the cliffs and I had to be a showoff and jump in head first. I crashed my head on the rocks below the water and almost went to sleep under the water. Another time I was driving in New Mexico and hit black ice spun around and my two back tires went off a cliff.

Combine that with being abused badly for years as a child and being choked, beaten, knocked out, hit with blunt objects, belts (including buckles), etc., several car accidents, getting jumped by gangs, shot at, etc. and I've been near death many times.

I never had the white light or tunnel thing though so my belief that there is no god has never been shaken.

Bet ya never do THAT again! :D

Nope. Learned my lesson. Once was enough. ;)

I landed on my head on the cement like a lawn dart.
Radar, That explaines SOOOOOO Much !!!!!!!

I saw that coming before I even typed it.