The Cellar

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-   -   Spouses who don't get The Cellar? (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=7834)

lookout123 02-24-2005 11:08 PM

Spouses who don't get The Cellar?
 
OK - i'm piss drunk at this point, so what the hell?

I love my wife, she loves me. (just don't ask her right now.) i've been in the cellar for a little less than a year, and my wife has asked about it. she's even read through some of the threads. she thinks i'm an idiot for spending so much time conversing with people that i will, more than likely, never meet face-to-face.

is there anyone in your life who is aware of the cellar? who doesn't get it? who thinks you are an idiot because you DO get it? is there a good way to describe why we come here?

wolf 02-25-2005 12:13 AM

My mom and my sister don't get it. Neither do my coworkers (I've clued the cooler ones into The Cellar, but they just don't bite).

I have at least one very good friend who tells me he's a regular lurker, but he's extremely hesitant to register for anything online, even something as cool as this, which is a shame, because I know that he'd have a joyous time participating here. (Yes, I do mean YOU.)

Some people just don't understand the fun and interest of participating in anything online, including playing games or just surfing.

I think it's like baseball. You either really like it, or you don't like it at all. Oh, or become vaguely interested during the world series.

Undertoad 02-25-2005 08:13 AM

I think about 1 in 10 people will "get it" and another 1 in 10 will understand it and/or lurk.

My ex didn't understand it, but lamented when we got divorced that I had a set of people that I could turn to and tell the stories and get a little support while she had none.

We've had spouses who were both online and still got divorced so that's no solution.

Beestie 02-25-2005 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad
My ex ... lamented ... that I had a set of people that I could turn to ... get a little support while she had none.

Well cry me a freakin' river.http://www.cellar.org/images/smilies/boohoo.gif

breakingnews 02-25-2005 08:29 AM

I touched on this in a message to another forum. The thread, "Classified Information," was about aspects of our lives which we lie about.

The crux of my post was the fact that many people do not know how much of a web nerd I am. I still have friends, some of whom I've met IRL, from the inordinate amount of time I spent on IRC and on random BBS boards. I learned HTML and had a Web site up and running before most of my peers even knew what the Internet was and its purpose (porn, porn, porn). I briefly was into multiplayer games and clans and all that nonsense. About 95% of funny stuff I circulate comes from the several forums where I lurk, yet I usually tell people that "a friend e-mailed it to me." I have a hard time admitting that I've dated through Craigslist and Friendster.

You folks here understand and think it's no big deal, but with my friends, this kind of stuff just doesn't jibe. It's weird and hard to explain, considering how much time my friends and I spend online chatting with each other and looking at ridiculous Web sites. But embracing this kind of dialogue in this sort of community is way off the radar of most people. My point is that these forums are the new coffee shops, the new place to learn about what's going on in the world and discovering things both on- and offline.

This phenomenon is extremely odd among my college friends. At Emory we used FirstClass Client, which is more or less a BBS with a GUI. I met many of my friends through random conferences created by people I knew (via numerous, "Oh, you're going to that party? We should meet," messages).

Clodfobble 02-25-2005 08:41 AM

My husband thinks it's cute that I consider you guys friends. He's actually considered joining on many occasions, but just hasn't gotten around to it. I think he's afraid he'd spend more time here than I do. :)

Beestie 02-25-2005 08:49 AM

My wife spends wayyyyyyyyyyy more time on eBay than I spend on the Cellar. Way more. By far. A LOT more.

Oh! Hi Honey! :blush:

glatt 02-25-2005 09:19 AM

I get addicted to boards. For a few years it was a kayak building board. There was a year of Fark in there. That was a wasted year. I can't believe the level of discussion at Fark and that I participated in it. I also spend a lot of time lurking at the Fine Homebuilding site. I post occasionaly there and even had two of my posts chosen to print in the paper edition of Fine Homebuilding Magazine. There's a lot to learn there, but the discussions about non-building topics are really pretty bad.

The Cellar is a nice fit though. There's a decent amount of diversity here. It's casual, but there is a level of maturity and respect not present on other general topic boards.

My wife knows of my habit of visiting boards. Mostly I do it from work, but occasionally I'll spend some time from home. She doesn't like me spending too much time on the computer. So, no. She doesn't get it.

Trilby 02-25-2005 09:28 AM

I don't have a spouse-more's the pity-but other people in my life think it's weird that I spend the time that I do here. Coming here is easy--no arrangements to be made or babysitters, etc. It's an instant community at my fingertips. Someone is usually here and willing to talk, etc. And I learn a lot of interesting things here. Mostly about myself.

SteveDallas 02-25-2005 11:00 AM

Mrs. Dallas gets it more than she used to back in the early 90s, thanks to the fact that she now has email, IM, etc. and is plugged in to the onlin Gilbert & Sullivan community.

lumberjim 02-25-2005 12:45 PM

jinx and i like to make fun of you guys. if i miss something, she tells me. then she tells me who to pick a fight with. so i do. ;)

BigV 02-25-2005 01:50 PM

did somebody say kayakbuilding?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt
I get addicted to boards. For a few years it was a kayak building board. --snip--

hmm. Nick Schade? Strip-built? Guillemot Expedition Single?

I'd love to swap stories with you.

lookout123 02-25-2005 02:04 PM

ah, jim, jinx, glatt, and bigV kayaking... next thing there will be a cellar gtg for kayakers.

glatt 02-25-2005 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigV
hmm. Nick Schade? Strip-built? Guillemot Expedition Single?

I'd love to swap stories with you.

Yeah, that's the board where I used to hang out a lot. But I built a plywood stitch and glue Mill Creek 13 by CLC. There's a picture of me launching it somewhere here on the Cellar. It was a thread by LJ about "Mom and Pop" stores. (does a quick search) Here it is: http://www.cellar.org/showpost.php?p=118208&postcount=8

I bought Nick's book to help support his kayak building site, and have thought about building a nice stripper, but the time commitment is one I'm not ready to make right now. I've got too many other projects going on. In fact I don't use the kayak nearly as much as I thought I would. A few hours a year, and that's it.

It's fun, but I don't have much free time.

xoxoxoBruce 02-26-2005 02:31 AM

I only come here to find out when your going on vacation so I can rob your house........and rifle the underwear drawer. :angel:

Neither friends nor family "get it." Commonly heard after expressing an unpopular opinion; "You spend to much time on the internet." :cool:

jaguar 02-26-2005 07:50 AM

Quote:

The crux of my post was the fact that many people do not know how much of a web nerd I am. I still have friends, some of whom I've met IRL, from the inordinate amount of time I spent on IRC and on random BBS boards. I learned HTML and had a Web site up and running before most of my peers even knew what the Internet was and its purpose (porn, porn, porn). I briefly was into multiplayer games and clans and all that nonsense. About 95% of funny stuff I circulate comes from the several forums where I lurk, yet I usually tell people that "a friend e-mailed it to me." I have a hard time admitting that I've dated through Craigslist and Friendster.
Agree entirely, minus the dating stuff. Most of my friends know I do 'web stuff' but that's about the limit of it, it's amazing how many people today either have little or no online presence and how many people you wouldn't expect are.

I've shown a couple of people the cellar, none have got it, I wouldn't now. I make no active effort to hide my identity, it would be dead easy for anyone to connect my name to this account if they wanted to but I prefer to keep them seperate to a degree. There's an intersting effect there too, everything I've posted over the years, the stupid, the inane and the laughable is now permanantly recorded, as time goes on I wonder if one day that'll bite me in the ass.

lookout123 02-26-2005 12:23 PM

i'd still vote for you jag.

i'm not saying which office that vote would be for...

slang 02-26-2005 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce
Neither friends nor family "get it." Commonly heard after expressing an unpopular opinion; "You spend to much time on the internet."

Yes, I get that same reaction too Bruce. My response it that this is so much more convenient and time efficient than going through the real world. Then there's also the fact that you can sit in a dark room with blocked off windows spinning a handgun and carry on a conversation online without seeming as wierd as you really are.

Oh....yeah.....you're all totally normal.....my ass.


Quote:

Originally Posted by jaguar
There's an intersting effect there too, everything I've posted over the years, the stupid, the inane and the laughable is now permanantly recorded, as time goes on I wonder if one day that'll bite me in the ass.

More people in this world know me as slang than my real name so I figure it's a certainty that eventually something here will bite me in the ass. There are things at the cellar that I wouldnt post anywhere else though. More than a few members here I really dont care for but there arent nearly as many outright personal attacks and endless flamewars here either*.

* - this is NOT an invitation.

jaguar 02-26-2005 01:09 PM

public office? I'll be drilling into my own kneecaps before I try that.

xoxoxoBruce 02-26-2005 10:03 PM

Quote:

There's an intersting effect there too, everything I've posted over the years, the stupid, the inane and the laughable is now permanantly recorded, as time goes on I wonder if one day that'll bite me in the ass.
Not a problem. If confronted just say "Hey Man, it's the internet, it's not real."
You'd be amazed how many will buy that and the ones that don't, get "C'mon, surely you understand it's role playing."
Of course the ones that don't buy that....you'll have to kill. :)

richlevy 02-26-2005 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slang
More people in this world know me as slang than my real name so I figure it's a certainty that eventually something here will bite me in the ass. There are things at the cellar that I wouldnt post anywhere else though. More than a few members here I really dont care for but there arent nearly as many outright personal attacks and endless flamewars here either*.

* - this is NOT an invitation.

Soooo, what you're saying is when the day comes and the press wants their "Gee, he seemed like such a quiet guy" quote from people who knew you, they're going to have to come here. ;)

footfootfoot 02-26-2005 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDallas
Mrs. Dallas gets it more than she used to back in the early 90s, thanks to the fact that she now has email, IM, etc. and is plugged in to the onlin Gilbert & Sullivan community.

Wow, I'm just over mourning my recent discovery of the demise of Light Opera Of Manhattan (LOOM). I use to go every weekend w/ my dad for a couple of years when I was in high school. It was part of his program to instill some culture into me. (did it work? the jury is still out)

I'd love to see some good G&S productions.


Oh Yeah, SWMBO knows about the cellar despite my inability to adequately find a term for it. Forum, BB, newsgroup? Coffeeshop?

OnyxCougar 02-27-2005 11:57 AM

I've tried to "turn people on" to the Cellar, including Husband, but no one (and I mean no one) will bite. Now, understand I don't talk to that many people, and out of all of them, only 3 or 4 would get the link from me, and of those, well, nogo.

I can barely get my mom to click on my journal every once and awhile.

I mostly surf here from work, very very occassionaly from home. At home I'm checking email and playing EQII or gameblast or (now) popcap or Age of Mythology or Rise of Nations.

Yeah, I'm a nerd.

cjjulie 02-27-2005 04:04 PM

When my husband started posting on a board, I didn't get it. He would come home from work and practically go strait to the computer. He was obsessed! He drove me and the kids CRAZY! :cool: Until - that is - I started at the Cellar and other boards....now I get it! Yep that's right, I'm quick :eyebrow:

FloridaDragon 02-27-2005 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beestie
My wife spends wayyyyyyyyyyy more time on eBay than I spend on the Cellar. Way more. By far. A LOT more.

Wow...I wonder if your wife and my wife are related!! That describes this house exactly. And family don't really get it either...the only comments i hear are that there needs to be more interesting photos (ok UT? they want Images of the HOUR now) :D

mrnoodle 02-28-2005 12:11 PM

I keep the cellar to myself, mostly. First of all, you guys are all smart and well-connected, and when you post something interesting I can steal it and look smart and well-connected to the people in my little RL circle.

Second, if I say something stupid (or stoned), while it is saved for all eternity, no one I have to see face to face knows about it.

Third, the dark room, gun-twirling thing.

LabRat 02-28-2005 12:42 PM

my husband knows, doesn't care as long as i don't get fired due to the amount of time I spend here :) my workmates know about it because I often share some of the funny videos/pics. I sort of have to when I am laughing my head off and they look at me like i'm crazy. the last thing i shared was the ad where the computer beat up the guy someone linked to, it had all three of us rolling...i LOVED that!! tho i haven't told any friend about this place, most are internet savvy and wouldn't hink i was weird at all for being here. well, any weirder.

wolf 03-02-2005 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrnoodle
Third, the dark room, gun-twirling thing.

Really important safety tip: do not ever do this with a Glock.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled thread.

slang 03-02-2005 02:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richlevy
"Gee, he seemed like such a quiet guy"

That might be more like "Gee, that pain in the ass finally snapped? I wonder what the pool is up to?" :)

cowhead 03-02-2005 04:31 AM

brianna hit the nail on the head for me.. well said

no one I have ever dated/ lived with understood this sort of thing.. well one did and she's a whackjob (she does phone sex.. damn I can pick them can't i?) :) I like knowing that there are like minded (and usually much more eloquent) people out 'there' just that simple fact of not being quite so alone makes it kinda comfy, and then again there is the annonimity factor, although I wouldn't hesitate to give anyone here a place to stay if they were in town and needed it, there is something to being 'a ghost in the machine' ya know?

Beestie 03-02-2005 08:26 AM

I used to hang out on a sports board where a lot of us knew each other IRL so the discussion was much more than sports. But the way we all thought of it was like a 24-hour tailgate party where you could come and go whenever you wanted with none of the social obligations that spring from real get-togethers.

Sort of like the Cheers bar or the neighborhood watering hole. There's always somebody here, the lights never go out, redemption for past transgressions is but one post away and when you log out, you are logged off.

lookout123 03-02-2005 11:27 AM

i had a lightbulb go on for me yesterday i think. for me the cellar is oftentimes like my favorite watering hole back in illinois. i worked there, but even when i wasn't working, i was there. it wasn't about drinking, because at times i didn't. i rarely got drunk. it was about the friendships, the belonging, the inside jokes - but, being what i call "bar friends" it didnn't come with many of the obligations of normal friendship. most of us didn't associate outside of the bar. it truly was a "stop in, plug in, fill up, go home" type of life. since leaving illinois, i've not found anything like that IRL. the cellar does fit in nicely in that role. i can pop in pretty much 24/7 and find something interesting.

staceyv 03-14-2005 03:14 PM

This is the only online forum that I go to, I guess because i accidentally found it in a time of need when my husband was stuck out on a fishing boat in the middle of a big storm, and then again when I thought he was emotionally unfaithful, and I guess I just got to know everyone, so I keep coming back. I don't really know why, I must like abuse. Whenever I have an issue or something that two heads are better than one at, I'll post, but many times I end up regretting it. How could I expect anyone else to "get it" when I don't even get it? But still, I keep coming back...

Trilby 03-14-2005 03:32 PM

Addiction is like that, Stacey. It's cunning, baffling and powerful...

mrnoodle 03-16-2005 08:31 PM

if you're here long enough, you'll have people that like you, people that hate you, and people that don't give a shit whether you're here or not. Just like real life, only with the option to shut it off when you get annoyed. better than real life in that respect....

Catwoman 03-17-2005 10:43 AM

... you mean there's people outside?

*confused*

BigV 03-17-2005 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catwoman
--snip--
*confused*

^^^ clearest post ever. Congrats.

mrnoodle 03-17-2005 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catwoman
... you mean there's people outside?

I heard one just this morning. made an awful racket, picking up the garbage. i sent the dog out to chase him off.

Elspode 03-18-2005 08:03 AM

1 Attachment(s)
Peeeeeople! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

BrianR 03-18-2005 08:48 AM

/wipes soda from monitor/

Damn Els...that was PERFECT! Why didn't *I* think of that?

Brian

kerosene 03-18-2005 09:03 AM

I think most people I have told either think it is some sort of chat room where we all have cybersex or that I am just a big nerd. Even my boyfriend hasn't really stayed interested in it. Perth introduced me to it way back in the day, and I didn't get it at the time. Somehow it just grew on me. I think that started around the time Dave was fighting with that luvbugz person. I remember being scared to death to post anything for fear of getting flamed.

wolf 03-18-2005 10:43 AM

Usually those moments are the best time to post. People get preoccupied with the main event, and everyone else skates in unnoticed and relatively unscathed.

Unless your first post is "[WHIPPING BOY] is absolutely correct and you're just being mean."

mrnoodle 03-21-2005 02:54 PM

I like it that everybody sort of just hangs back to see what will happen when a REALLY crazy person stumbles across the cellar. Not just offbeat, but batshit (or tripping). There have been a couple in recent months. No matter how still I sit, they always spook and run off. :(
I think we should encourage them to stay.

Undertoad 03-21-2005 03:02 PM

j03L10T. I encouraged him to stay somehow. Then I became afraid. I'm sure he was delusional.

http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=2427

wolf 03-22-2005 12:41 AM

I'm pretty sure he was too, but he was entertaining in his way and didn't seem to represent a clear and present danger to himself or others.

I sometimes wonder if his long term absence has anything to do with a long term inpatient stay somewhere ...

Sun_Sparkz 04-10-2005 11:33 PM

I have kept the cellar pretty well to myself. i found it whilst working in a huge compnay in sydney who literally just paid me to dit there and look pretty!

I was trying to find a forum to keep me busy durng the day, and i stumbled across this. at first i thought it was kinda nerdy. then i registered and became totally addicted!! still keeping it to myself i spent countless hours reading and learning and laughing. None of my friends would ever "get" my addiction here. Most dont even know how to turn on a computer.

My partner often asks how i come across all this information about galaxys and religion and american points of view and i have to say "oh, just read it on MSN"

he did question my Cellar T Shirt tho, so i told him about this place and he just laughed and forgot about it in 5 seconds. i doubt if he even came on to check it out.

But i will be around for a while i think, if i am away for a few weeks it drives me nuts sometimes to know that a whole community is going on behind this address line and i am missing out!!

Elspode 04-11-2005 02:07 PM

Nerdy? Strange, yes; perverse, maybe; twisted...definitely. But nerdy? Nah.

monicakat 04-11-2005 06:41 PM

I'm fairly new here and don't really know most of you too well. I'm still seeing new names every once and awhile.
Be that as it may, I still don't get nearly as much work done as I used to. Just wait till I get to know you guys...


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