compliments and insults
 

which do you prefer? Often times, an insult is easier to handle than a compliment. Does who is giving it to you have more to do with it than what they're actually saying?

i noticed that the compliment the person above you thread seemed to stall. i wonder if people dont want to put themselves in the way of a compliment, or if it's just that noone can think of anything else nice to say about lookout? ;)

I'd have to go with an insult is less embarrassing.. I know I'm an alright sort of fella and not so hard on the eyes or mind, however.. I dunno It makes me feel odd when someone tells me something positive, yeah I could break it down further into the various psychological/emotional reasons.. but eh? am I worth the trouble :)

ps. I am also very aware of what is wrong with me, perhaps more aware of that than what is right.

pps. I would rather give a compliment than an insult, seeing as how that's much harder to do :)

I think it sucks that our society is so negative that people would rather take an insult than a compliment. Learning to give and receive compliments should be a required skill before entering high school.

Receiving a compliment is really very easy. You say "thank you" and you feel good for a while. What's hard about that?

I would rather receive a compliment and give an insult. I find it easier.

I'd rather a heartfelt insult than a slimy compliment.

I never know what to do with a compliment. I know exactly what to do with an insult.

I received a genuine compliment the other day that should have made my day but it felt like a hot potato in my hand. I will say that I'm a lot more comfortable when people compliment my work or my kids than when they say nice things about me.

i'm not comfortable with receiving compliments (not that they're particularly common). At least not personal ones. "Nice job on that article" or "your band rocks" are great, but something like "you're a good person" makes me squirm. Probably because I know it's not true, and I feel like I've misled the person who said it.

"you stupid twat" feels less threatening, for some reason. maybe because it's so easy to live up to.

Well y'all are all weird. I like getting compliments (makes me all blushy and embarassed but in the end I appreciate it) and I get really sad when someone genuinely insults me or is mean to me in any way. Bantering playful insults is different though, and that pretty much constitutes a good 50% of my interaction with my friends.

Why are so many people convinced that they are secretly and inherently bad?

Because they probably are. :)

I personally have no problem giving props or insults if they're due.

calvinism dies hard.

well.. a genuine insult will provoke a very severe reaction from me, the thing is that there really aren't that many people willing to actually throw down with a wholesome game of 'fuck you' (which is okay by me) and in my line of work there is a theme of general insulting, it's not meant to be really mean.. although I think it does have alot to do with 'pecking order' as it were since open combat is really right out of the question.

A genuine compliment? the thing is that I won't believe them, unless I have been in an intimate relationship with them for quite some time, and I know them well enough to know it's true. ( I have a bad habit of studying people who I am in a relationship to try to anticipate what they want.. (in general) and try to meet those desires before they become needs.. if that makes sense).

A compliment is much harder in the short term -- I blush, stammer & look like a fool.
But in the long run, it makes me feel good; an insult (unless completely groundless & absurd or spoken in jest) hurts when you get to the introspection.

*in my LEAST slimy expression*
Proverbs 27 5-6

5 Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Jag, I would reask the question, what if there were no qualifiers on the type of insult/compliment? Or if they were the same?

For my money, dar512 and Clodfobble are correct. Just say "Thank you" sincerely, and enjoy it. Smiling is optional. Pass the compliments, please. Thank you.

I don't *like* insults, but I think I get more from them. If anything, they are a motivator to not be so much the way the insulter has accused me of being. Unless, of course, the insulter is full of shit.

Compliments are difficult, because I often second guess, don't understand, don't feel deserving of or become suspicious of the intent of the complimenter. Usually, i can take them well, but inside, I never allow myself enough indulgence to actually, truly believe them. Sadly, I know this very well about myself, I know why it's that way, and the truth doesn't make me feel any better. I haven't figured out how to reprogram myself the right way.

I ignore both compliments and insults. I will be my own person and take no outside input thank you very much.

Which could be why I'm alone.

So...

very... :cry:
very.....



Alone.

:lol2:

I don't trust compliments. I expect there's a hidden knife in any pat on the back.

I take both with a large grain of salt... but when the input is honest and unexaggerated, either one is appreciated.

HP, I think you're a steaming pile of shit. I'm not one to exaggerate, and I'm being totally honest. :)

I reserve a special collection of VERY large salt grains just for you, buddy.

Both can be manipulative. Insults are generally more entertaining and comedic.

So what about if they're not to your face, theyre expressed not for your direct benefit....you overhear someone complementing you to another or overhear someone bashing you. do they effect you more?

Okay...who stole warch's login info?

i'm uncomfortable with compliments to my face, i'm always looking for the angle. it feels really good when you hear through the grapevine has been complimentary though.

Was that an insult or a compliment? What does it mean when you're not sure? (I would attach a simple smilie, but I find that in the growing bar to the right of this text box there are 4,889 wiggly variants and emotional bullets to navigate, so I lost my will.)

Since your question was thoughtful and intelligent, I'd have to say it was an insult... and you're right- it's friggin impossible to find the right smilie!!!

Is there a way to group the damn things??? You know- "happy", "mad", "sad", "confused", "dead/ill", etc...

by the way,
A compliment you hear behind your back is the best kind.

Okay, That inspired me to take it upon myself to categorize every single smilie, and then I tried to post the list under "cellar comments and suggestions" and it wouldn't let me, said I tried to post too many smilies. :mad2:

Yes, I have OCD tendencies when I have pms :blush:

Would it let you make one post per category?

um, even if it let me do that, I'd have to make 24 posts...
let's see if it'll let me put in just the "happy" category:
HAPPY: ;) :D :) :biggrin: :p :3eye: :yelgreedy :angel: :destiny: :browhappy :jig:

The "Disapproval/Disgust" category was much bigger...let's see:
DISAPPROVAL/DISGUST: :headshake :rolleyes: :whofart: :smack: :Flush: :boxers: :crazy: :thumbsdn: :bonk: :flamer: :wstupid: :lame: :rtfm:
:smashfrea

Yay! it worked. But would you really want me to make 22 more posts like that?

I just had to do one more:
Kinky activities: :doit: :whip: :spank: :3way: :sheep:

I wouldn't mind. It's up to your OCD. http://www.cellar.org/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

Nah, I'm over it...I was really, really hungover this morning. I have NO idea why I chose to spend my time grouping smilies into categories. Looking back, it worries me.
But it's easy to blame on PMS and being in an altered mental state, I guess...-I hope.