My First Sherry Story
 

Once I had said quite a while ago that I was going to tell some stories about my friend Sherry. Well, here is the first one:

This story has to do with Sherry, myself (Jake), David, and Vikki. Ok, Sherry, Vikki, and I were all servers at a restaurant in Silver City, NM and Sherry would often drive David and Vikki home from work. David was kind of on the "slow" side, but overall an alright person. Sherry is a gruff and rather rude person, but nevertheless she is my friend. So one time Vikki went in to a convenience store to make a purchase and while Vikki was gone into the store, Sherry turned around to David in the backseat and said to him, "your stupid, your an idiot, they're going to take you to the crazy house." I said, "Sherry, that's mean stop it.":3_eyes:

I'd refrain from any more stories.

Ditto.

I dunno. I'm interested to hear more.

I read the story out loud to Mum.
She was very appreciative.

Sherry sounds like an ass. And she doesn't know that the contraction of you are is you're, not your.

:bolt:

People. This story is big. You have to work at it, to figure out what the real plot twist is.

I think David is actually dead when Sherry turns around, and what she's saying is metaphor, describing his death.

Did Sherry shoot JR?

I understood it completely. I laughed, I cried, it bacame a part of me.

Ima wait for the audiobook.

No soap, radio.

I think you're on the right track. Let's explore further, shall we?

The opening line is more telling after inspection than it was at first glance. Consider:

See, Sherry and 'myself' (Jake), are really the same person. Sherry has multiple personalities. "Sherry, myself..." We might even go so far as to say EVERY CHARACTER IN THE STORY is actually Sherry.

And when you really boil it down, we're all Sherry, aren't we?

Sherry as Everyman...Brilliant stuff!

Not me. I'm Worcestershire sauce.

I always saw you as Tabasco.

Well, at least I'm saucy!

I would loved to be sauced right now. :)

I don't know about getting sauced, so I'm gonna smoke a bowl.

A bowl... of Sherry!

and then there was this one time, when Sherry, Jake, Clay and Essie all went to the Rolling Stones concert. Sherry wasn't a Stones fan, but she really liked Clay, and Clay was a HUGE fan. Thing was, that Clay was gay, and had a man crush on Mick. But, Sherry didn't know Clay was gay. I don't know how she didn't realize that. It seems like I'd always known that about him, but it just never seemed to be discussed. It was one of those things like that... where everyone in the room knows, bit no one acknowledges it. So, at the end of the concert, as we all walked back to the car, Sherry got next to Clay, and put her arm around him as they walked, and slipped her hand into his back pocket... like a girlfriend would do.... and Clay just about jumped out of his jeans. Sherry got really embarrassed and yelled at Clay. 'What are you some kind of a gay?!"
and Clay said.. well, yeah. and than Sherry got really mad because she didn't believe him and she thought he would wrather act like a gay then be with her. She was so mad the rest of the ride home. she just kept saying, your not gay, clay. clay, your not gay. Clay stopped hanging out with us after that.

I love Sherry.

Well why didn't you get gay married to Sherry then?

How many Sherries have you had?

I always preferred rum...

Sherry used to work set-up at the same time as Pauline, Lauren and me.
She was supposed to be on Frozen, but I guess she preferred hanging around the counters because she was always talking to us.
Anyway this one time, she said she was going to paint her skirting boards when she got home, because she was getting new carpets laid.
And Lauren said, "What, you don't have any carpets in your flat right now?"
And Sherry said no, not in the living room.

Because she really didn't.

I think Pauline was date checking the cheese in the back chiller at the time.

That's a classic!

Sent by thought transference

None. But quite a few Jerrys.

Sheldon, you dawg, you!

That's my style. :D

There are some people in my life who would answer the question "did you hang out with Clay last night?" with that whole story. BTW, the correct answer is "no".

My Sherry was married to a guy named Bob, who was well-meaning, but of below average intelligence. He was ignorant of this fact (as he was of so many others,) and liked to pontificate with a far-away look in his eye on subjects which were profoundly and maddeningly simple. They were older and had no children, despite always wanting them, though not enough to bother adopting I guess.

Sherry did not like me because I didn't give my children candy, and then she really stopped liking me when her husband Bob declared that he wanted to try going gluten-free, which was a shame because I had nothing to do with it. He and I had never spoken on the subject because I honestly figured him as too stupid to be able to figure it out. (He once expressed shock that "even the bread" at a particular restaurant contained gluten.) But she decided I must be behind his conversion, and very shortly after that they left for a different church.

I used to drink Tio Pepe. Then I moved out from my grandparents' house and stopped going to restaurants.

Ewwww!!!!


:D

oh, see, now... I made my sherry story up. yours sounds true.

The only Sherry I actually have a story about is Shelby's aunt. She is a white trash cracker. only time I ever heard her voice was when we knocked on her door to ask if they had a spare key or something....( they lived next door to her) and I heard her say, "I hope they're not hungry." ...Apparently they were eating dinner. cracker ass cracker

I worked with a Sherry in this job.
But the only stories I could tell about her are actually interesting. I conflated two characters for my story; one being my current stalker and his exciting updates about his flat.

I only have Cheri stories, and they aren't very good.

Sour Cheri? :-)

The Cheri (pronounced Sherry) I'm thinking of was more bitter than sour.

I worked with a juicy Lucy. (Unverified by me, I took her at her word)

I just met a Sherrell. She bought a new Nissan. She was kind of nice, but she didn't say a lot. Her grandson was cute. She didn't buy a warranty because the dickhole salesman didn't let me know she was going to her bank for the loan, and I didn't get a shot at her before she got her loan and check. I'm just back here, in my little box with no windows...out of sight out of mind ...until they need me to get someone who doesn't deserve a loan approved. then we're old buddies. yeah. dickholes.

that story wasn't really about Sherrell.

Sherry was my first crush, in 2nd grade, and then renewed in 6th grade.

I ran into an old friend the other day at breakfast at Bob's. (Bob Evans for those who don't know the chain.) I'll call her Sherry Mac...as she's got a McLastName.

She's such a sweet hearted person. I remember years ago, I went to a party at her house. She lived in my FAVORITE mansion in town at the time. I knew of it because my grandma had taken me there when I was in HS... they were selling formal dresses out of the carriage house, and I was looking for something for some event, prom or some such. It was cool to see the inside of it. Sherry didn't get to live there long (she's had a rough time in her life, things I can't imagine going through) but I remember her saying in her very Sherry way..."at least I got to live in my dream house for a while." She's upbeat and caring.

So that's my real true Sherry story.

Neither were the cheerleader sketches on SNL.

oooh I do have a Sherry story.... Sherry is the first name of the Scrip-buyer I nickname Buttsecks. All my regulars have nicknames. This one is a granny of two kids at the school. Bless her cotton socks -when she knows she's going to see the family she emails me an order and has her son-in-law pick it up. Her last name is actually Buczek.

I wonder if she or her rellies will ever google her and find this thread? I'm so sorry I called yo granmama buttsecks but she loved you lots :)

I did a photo shoot for a magazine named Cheri ...

[ :blush:]

What year and issue? Help me narrow it down.

No :) Happy hunting!

It will be happy, but... draining.

Not even a year? Or a month? PPppplllllease?