List alphabetically ways to lose your job. :D

A - Ask members of a rap band to come and sing thier disgusting language filled songs right by your bosses office..... Then demand a raise to get them to stop.....

B

Buttkick yer boss.

C

Cellar! Spend all day screwing around on the Cellar.

Dropkick your boss's picture of his wife out of the office window.

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Eat your bosses lunch and leave crumbs on his desk,trash his office when he isnt there and then @ 3am call him and spill the beans;carry on like a 2yo :D

F

Fuck bosses.

G

Boy howdy.

Took me ages to figure out there's a better way (contractorism RULES).

:yesnod: :yesnod:

Give everyone in your office $20 except your boss... Tell him you wanted a raise months ago and he didnt give one to you;start cutting him down left and right.......

H

Your boss will figure if you can afford to give everyone else $20, you don't need a raise and neither do the others since they're getting extra money from you. He'll live with the cutdowns for what you're saving him. Earplugs only cost a few dollars.

Hock a loogie on his office window.

I

Give your boss's email address to Cellar spammers.

Invite people to your office and have them paint everything black one night and when employees come in the next day say the boxx told you to do it....

When the boss comes in and people get mad and start bitching at him and he is all mad....SAY SURPRISE -- Whadda ya think :D

J

:bonk: :rollanim:

Juxtapose numbers on a big check

Jerk off noisily in the customer restroom 3 times a day

Jump up and salute your computer screen every time your boss says your name

Jab your pointer fingers into your boss's ass crack and yell something in Japanese, whenever he turns his back to you

K

Sprinkle powdered x lax on his surgered donuts.

Krazy glue the locks on his desk.

Make a pot of coffee without a filter.

Bake chocolate x lax brownies with crushed pecans and leave 2 wrapped in his fridge.

Empty the black pepper out of his salt and pepper shaker and replace with ground habenero.

If one feels a cold coming on then wipe some phlegm on his fridge door handle, pens, stapler and desk drawers.





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dude

Look like a fool in front of YOUR BOSSES BOSS and deman raises;carry on like a 2yo while dancing round the room :D

M

Make fart noises whenever the boss bends over to pick something up

N

Notice how crappy your boss looks and call him @ 2am telling him about it;carry on and on until he explodes :D

O

Overwrite the accounts file with your D&D stats

P

When the boss bends over tear a sheet of copy paper in half.

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Punch a customer in his ugly face.

Q

LOL

Queef in her coffee

R

Resist his/her affections.

S

Stop bathing

Speak your mind in meetings

Sniff cocaine on the boss's desk

Stab a coworker

Sue the company you work for

Slap the boss's mama

T

Tambourine and Sing the Hare Krishna mantra during meetings

U

Undress slowly but completely, throughout the day.

V

Vending machine assault, all day every day.

We had a guy who trashed the copier daily at my old job, but he was fireproof.


W

Eat a can of Showboat pork and beans 1 hr before a 2 hr meeting.

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See, the theme here, Cap'n, is that you list ways alphabetically. Like you should do one that starts with a W.

Like.... Whip it out whenever the boss asks if a package came for him.

See?

X - Xamin your bosses desk and decide what YOU DONT LIKE and end up throwing out important stuff he needs w/o realising and tell him your sorry for costing the company 1000s of dollars.... Then start laughing like a 2yo and demand a raise :D

Y

Yodel an entire presentation to a new client

Z

All this thinking is making my head hurt.

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Z. Zuul.

There is only Zuul

You know when you go into a grocery store and you here pages for staff ..."James in Maintenance, please come to customer service..."...? We're not very circumspect with our pages... We used to have an office manager called Dana. After a while (but only after a while) we tired of pages for her being followed by a page about there being no Dana..... Apparently employees visiting our store are horrified by our lack of respect for the Holy Paging System. Customers generally giggle though. The worst offender is the store director. Who sometimes pages himself.

Jumberlim killed the thread tho. Bye Thread.

AA

Approach boss
Ask him to fire you

BB

Borrow your bosses car keys and smash the car into a pole and exit the vechile before the cops get there thus leaving him with the big clean up bill;call him @ 2am and fill him in..

C

Copy your Cubemate's mileage sheets
Collect stupid prizes.

DD

Dose your bosses office in motor oil and call him snd say you left him a nice present...

E

Eavesdrop on the bosses

F

Fire almost everyone by forging the bosses name ona company letter.. When the boss comes in and you accidently forget to hide the letter you sent,start calling him every name you can think;demand a raise..... Seal the deal by ringing him at 2am and yelling :D

G

Gab about the boss to a person you thought was a friend, been that route....learned my LESSON.

H

Hey Dude, are you MIA....miss you guy.

Have a party in your bosses office and end up trashing the whole office :D

I