The Cellar: More people care about your shit here than on any other form of social media and that's some good shit, we shit you not, whether you shit or get off the pot we're with you!

The Cellar: If you wanted to join in last time around, but didn't, this is your chance now to become a member of this elite online community. You'll be issued a virtual beret and have the opportunity to earn virtual medals. You can be a ... CELLAR OF ONE.
Some restrictions may apply. Not available in all locations. Allow 3 to 5 days for registration confirmation.

The Cellar: If you wanted to join in last time around, but didn't, this is your chance now. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember, all I'm offering is the truth – nothing more.

The Cellar: You know what? It isn't that hard to get a camel through the eye of a needle. Steve Jobs said so in a seance last night.

The Cellar: You know what? It isn't that hard to get a camel through the eye of a needle. It is as simple as pressing puree.

It's only hard if you try to get camel through backwards.

Rich men can buy huge needles.

The Cellar: Agree to disagree, but disagree to part your hair down the middle and become a zipper head.

The Cellar: weer in ur dictionary verbin ur nounz an' in ur spel chekkerz foneticizin ur wordz.

The Cellar: Then I woke up with my face in my cornflakes...

The Cellar: Mental midget tossing every third Thursday during Happy Hour which ironically was named for one of the seven dwarfs.

The Cellar: The answers are printed upside down at the bottom of the quiz which is so easy you could pass it standing on your head

The Cellar: Boom Shaka Laka Laka [No Shakas or Lakas were harmed during the making of this tagline.]

The Cellar: We WILL rock you ... though it would be way cooler Yoda style: Rock you we WILL

The Cellar: Oh, how we've suffered. By we I mean me and by way of misery loves company, YOU!