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-   -   Dreaming...and sharing the details (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=11437)

observant_one 08-09-2006 12:37 PM

Dreaming...and sharing the details
 
Could a dream be more than just a dream?

If your partner is calling upon the name of another in this dream could/should that be reason for concern?

I'm fully aware that one is incapable of controlling their dreams, yet I'm still pissed as hell.

This isn't the first time he's called out for this woman, should I ask him about her?

Things have changed in our relationship since the beginning of summer, the sex has been better than ever before, but our emotional relationship has been suffering.

Any suggestions or thoughts?

~Thanks

Trilby 08-09-2006 01:04 PM

Weeeell--I once called my second husband by my first husband's name but I was awake and vertical at the time.

This is a tricky one. How can we be held responsible for our subconcious (or, even dreaming) mind?

glatt 08-09-2006 01:10 PM

Dreams can mean anything. Maybe you are dreaming this because it's true and some part of your mind is picking up on it. Then again, maybe you are dreaming this because something in your life makes you feel powerless, and this dream is a manifestation of that feeling. Maybe the dream is just a dream.

I think you should talk to this guy. Talk to him about your emotional distance. Talk to him about the great sex. Tell him about your dream, and tell him you were wondering about it. Just talk to the guy. Tell him how you feel, and ask him how he feels. You will get more answers than from a message board.

How long have you two been partners? What does "partners" mean, anyway?

Clodfobble 08-09-2006 01:22 PM

Hang on--you dreamed that he was calling out for another woman? Or he was dreaming, and you heard him call out this other woman's name in his sleep?

glatt 08-09-2006 01:35 PM

Good question. I just went back and re-read it. Could be either way, but I probably misread it.

Clodfobble 08-09-2006 04:18 PM

Either way, your advice was good. :)

rkzenrage 08-09-2006 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by observant_one
Could a dream be more than just a dream?

If your partner is calling upon the name of another in this dream could/should that be reason for concern?

I'm fully aware that one is incapable of controlling their dreams, yet I'm still pissed as hell.

This isn't the first time he's called out for this woman, should I ask him about her?

Things have changed in our relationship since the beginning of summer, the sex has been better than ever before, but our emotional relationship has been suffering.

Any suggestions or thoughts?

~Thanks

Jealousy is a dangerous thing... based in mistrust. There is my thought.
It is a dream... :rolleyes:

observant_one 08-09-2006 05:15 PM

He was sleeping. I was coming to bed. He called out for this woman to come to bed. Through out the rest of the night he continued to call for her...4 more times in about 5 hours.

To answer the partner question; He is my husband; we have been married for 10years and dated 5years before that. I used the wording "partner" so I wouldn’t exclude anyone.

Rationally I cannot be upset with him about this. Yet there is still that little voice inside saying, “Yeah, but what if?” I’ll follow the wonderful advice of Glatt and simply talk without accusing him of anything. It's probably nothing.

9th Engineer 08-09-2006 07:54 PM

You don't have to be overly pc here, if he's your husband then you won't make anyone feel bad by saying so. You say it's not the first time this has happened, do you know who the woman might be? If he's been stressed out at work (could account for the emotional distance) she might be someone he works closely with and depends on for important stuff. Just saying there are plenty of possibilities besides those that might spring quickly to mind.

MsSparkie 08-09-2006 08:15 PM

The alcoholic Borderline Personalty Disorder ex hubby wanted to have lucid dreams. He would set the alarm for 2:30am and hope to be able to become semi-aroused in a dream state (not sexually) and be able to control his dreams and do "anything at all". It was very important to him and he would disturb my sleep. Idiot.

rkzenrage 08-09-2006 08:21 PM

Separate bedroom for that guy.

Clodfobble 08-09-2006 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 9th Engineer
If he's been stressed out at work (could account for the emotional distance) she might be someone he works closely with and depends on for important stuff.

You just reminded me of the one time my husband called me by another name... I thought he was awake, and I was talking to him as I was coming to bed and he was responding quite clearly. I only realized he was basically still asleep when he called me the other woman's name. I was horribly hurt for about three seconds, until I remembered that the name he was calling me was the name of a server at his work that had had a hard drive failure the day before. :)

Elspode 08-09-2006 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsSparkie
The alcoholic Borderline Personalty Disorder ex hubby wanted to have lucid dreams.

Wouldn't he have been better off by trying to have lucid awake periods first?

DucksNuts 08-10-2006 04:40 AM

I love lucid dreaming, I didnt know it was called lucid dreaming until a few months back, but its seriously cool to be aware alter your dreams and lead them where you want.

MsSparkie 08-10-2006 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode
Wouldn't he have been better off by trying to have lucid awake periods first?


I tried to make that happen to no avail. Neither did the addiction and mental health institute have any luck with him. ALL of his things are still here, in my garage....his computers, tools, books, etc. even his car. He only has clothes.
I divorced him 3 years ago with a permanent restraining order and he never took the rest of his stuff. So he must be incapacitated still, alcoholic wise or just freaky wise.

Ducknuts, I never believed his lucid dream stuff.....but you say you can do it.
Is it just the short period when you are waking up???


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