Snail Mail
 

You've all heard or even used the term snail mail before right?

Well at our house, we really do have snail mail!

Attachment 24229

This is what the inside of our letterbox looks like. As you can see, it's inhabited by a number of snails who've been chewing their way through our mail, and also in residence is an asian gecko.

"So I just hit central alt delete?"

I got to the pool and parked next to a truck with a cap. I heard a cat meowing. I looked in the trees, but sure enough it was coming from that truck. I looked around it, I looked inside as much as I dare lest the owner think I was up to no good...couldn't find a cat.

As I was leaving, a man had that truck door open and was looking all over underneath the truck. I asked if he heard a cat too. He said "I think my cat hitched a ride, but I can't find him." So we both started looking.

At this point I thought maybe he could be a serial killer and he had a cat recording and he was going to shove me into the truck, much like a movie I am sure most of you are familiar with.

The guy is saying "come here Jack, here kitty" and finally Jack came from, I think, the spare tire that was hanging underneath the truck. He was in fine shape, and very pretty. He had a little collar.

Jack wouldn't come out from under the truck, so I asked the guy if he thought a can of cat food would help. He looked at me funny and said "you keep it in your car?" and I laughed and explained I had stopped at the store on the way to the pool just for the purpose of getting cat food.

It worked! The man tried to give me money and I'm like oh please, I LOVE cats. He and I laughed, and he put the cat in the back of the truck, shut the hatch, and took Jack home.

Jack was going to enjoy a can of Mariner's Catch tonight!

that's such a cool story :lol:

Awwwwwww...

I love happy animal stories! =)

The Onion has this fake news video making fun of Cash4Gold. On the actual Cash4Gold website, The Onion's video is featured along with other real news stories featuring Cash4Gold. Either #1 they didn't watch the video closely enough to realize it's a parody, #2 they don't think the visitors to their website will watch the video closely enough to realize it's a parody, or #3 they have a wise-ass web designer who put up a video from THE ONION because he knew his dumbass bosses wouldn't watch the video closely enough to realize it's a parody.

nice story 123 :)

A friend of mine works for an opera company. They are putting on a new show this season that was specifically commissioned for the purpose of "honoring the history of" their fair city. There's some local governmental bicentennial going on, or something.

The problem is, they picked the wrong composer and libretto author. But they're only coming to grips with this reality now, when it's far too late to change. They're merely doing damage control at this point.

The basic plot started out as a love story between a slave and her master. Except slave importation was banned in 1807, and this particular city wasn't founded until 1850. Can't change the city or the date for obvious reasons, so they just bit their tongues and agreed to take a little historical license with these open slave market scenes, hoping that the city historians whom this whole shebang is being sponsored by won't care (since they most certainly will notice.) Okay. The other half of the show was set in 1920 (which was a significant year for the city for some other reason,) with the 1850s scenes being flashbacks of the main character.

Except now, they've realized they don't have the money for period costumes or sets, not even close.

So they're setting the 1920s scenes in "present day," because that's easy to furnish and costume. But the flashbacks are staying in 1850, because otherwise the libretto doesn't even have a pertinent year in the plot to connect it to the city's nonexistent slave history. Thus, the main character in this opera is no less than 175 years old. I think at this point they're just genuinely hoping the city historians aren't so good at math.

:lol: ooh you are evil being mildly amused by that!

No, I'd say she's being very virtuous. This is worth more than "mild" amusement.

Hmm, maybe they should turn it into a comedy/revue/farce/spoof. :p

Some friends of mine took a short drive from their rural home to a nearby town to do a little shopping. The engine was acting oddly, so they stopped about halfway there and opened the hood of their old rattletrap truck. Out bounded one of their kitties, ran across the road (nearly being run over in the process), and hid in some tall grass.

When they were finally able to catch said kitty, it was badly burned and in serious shock. Got the car running and raced to the vet. Here's a pic taken as they got the kitty back into the car. :(

http://lh4.ggpht.com/_dhRsv7QUKHI/SK...issyhurt01.jpg

The vet cut away the burned skin and sewed the kitty back together the best he could.
http://lh3.ggpht.com/_dhRsv7QUKHI/SM...issyhurt53.jpg

I'm glad to report that after MANY months of constant care and attention, the kitty is all healed up and doing well.

http://lh5.ggpht.com/_dhRsv7QUKHI/SP...Q/IMG_2651.JPG

It was quite a struggle, though, as the kitty would not stop trying to lick the wound. Cone collar was useless. The solution? Baby jammies!

http://lh6.ggpht.com/_dhRsv7QUKHI/SQ...0/redpjs06.JPG http://lh5.ggpht.com/_dhRsv7QUKHI/SQ...M-M/lgpjs1.jpg



A happy ending, but take heed; if you have an outdoor kitty, bang on the hood of your vehicle before starting it up!

only one of those pics is working for me :( but great there was a happy ending

OMG! (laughs with Clodfobble). All that -- plus opera?! They're doomed!

Rats. The pics are from my friend's Picasa web account. Maybe this link to all the kitty pics will work:

http://picasaweb.google.com/Dragon43...18631397746402

(click View All)

oh poooor cat :(

the pjs are funny

In Wal-mart, in the book section, there are two prevalant sections:

That Vampire series, what's it called, "I was a teenage vampire" or "Betoothed" or "Nightlight" or whatever the hell it's called...right next to...

God Squad books, books about how you can improve your life by giving yourself to the lord, self-help for fibromyalgia through prayer, how to lose 500 pounds by eating Cheetos in the name of the lord...etc and so on.

Whatcha need? Some Vampires or some lordz?

Apparently you spend too much time at Wal-mart if you know where all those books are. <raspberry>

I was hoping for an oasis of intelligence. Yes I was in there, looking for a (gasp) book!

Clearly, I am much too hopeful.

lol - now now... Oasis would be under "O". It wouldn't be near the vampire books.

lol @ betoothed!

123...the grade level of the books one can find over the counter is embarrassing. I too have tried to find a book at wal-mart, rite aid. I have decided I will have to use amazon or drive 20 minutes to Borders books.

We have a few used bookstore and the collections of each reflect the interest of the owner. The one close to me is filled with sci-fi material.

*sigh*

You forgot the "romance" section. And the spanish language section.

I've found quite a few books at Wal-mart. Mostly popular series; sometimes mystery or horror or SF, and they're cheap.

Not much selection, however, unless you are a fan of one of the big categories.

It's actually a brilliant solution. One I'll be suggesting to my vet. Prolly wouldn't work for a big old German Shepherd, but kitties and small dogs would surely be much happier in jammies than in one of those conehead things.

http://intralucid.com/pics/fail_cat_cone.jpg

keep the kitties indoors for safety and long life

keep everyone indoors for safety and long life

A woman who worked as a paralegal in an adjacent office was indicted and arrested for allegedly embezzling over $200,000 from former employer.

She worked in our building for about 6 months and then was fired, but there were rumors about her even then.

Oy.

The Himbo is amusing me today.

It was his birthday and he had two days off (his bday and the one after), he called to abuse me for not sending a Happy Birthday sms (I did say Happy Bday as soon as he called)....to which I replied I knew he was spending the day with his family and gf...so thought I would leave him alone.

A couple of the girls at work and I bought him a full length mirror for his office and wrote on it in lipstick.

Now, it was a *take the piss* present obviously, because he enjoys looking at himself so much, but he was sooooo grateful that we bought it and spent an hour trying to figure out where was the best place to put it...."because I dont want my customers to think Im weird or anything....with a full length mirror in my office".

Before he hung it, he carried it around the office trying to figure out how he could look at his own arse whilst he was walking and when any of us talked to him...he would lift the mirror in front of himself and point it as us...which was disconcerting and then he would say ..."Are you talking to yourself?"...which was goofy but funny.

The boy is lucky he has looks going for him.

Ducks' himbo amuses me too.

Amusing but also worrying me a little is the hapless lad in one of my classes who just got one out of eight questions right in the true/false section of the test. :eek: Damn, that's statistically significantly worse than chance. He must have negative intelligence.

The Shoe
 

On the center divider. Every afternoon I take the same route home from work. On the concrete and brick center divider there lies one lonely shoe. Every day. Same place. I first noticed it in January - It has survived snow, wind, flooding, homeless people passing by - (Guess they wouldn't really have any need for one shoe) - Its contancy makes me smile.

I like

Somewhat humorous story....
 

A few days ago I was sitting, watching the kids movie "Ratatouille" with my neice (she's four years old). We were playing with some of those cloth circles (I don't know what they are called) - about the size of a ring, different colors, etc... Anyway, after a few minutes she had her fingers covered with these things and she wanted to show her mom what she had done. Well, I continued watching the movie for a few minutes and then I picked the magazine up I was reading earlier. Somewhere in there I had placed that cloth ring around my big toe and had forgotten about it.

Well, I went to bed around 11pm.

Next day.
Got up, got dressed, went to work.
Got home, got cleaned up, dressed, went to bed.

Next day.
Got up, got dressed, went to work.
Got home, got cleaned up... was getting dressed when I noticed this orange colored cloth ring around my big toe.

I started laughing... :lol: Wife come into bedroom and asks what's so funny. I start telling her my story about the cloth ring...

I get to the part about placing it on my big toe and I show her my toe with the orange colored cloth ring on it...

She laughs so hard her dentures almost fall out... :lol:

good story!

really lol-ing madman

great story too QOTR - nice

This mildly amused me yesterday.

College pres did one of his campus wide keepin' in touch with everybody meetings yesterday. One of the things we discussed was the whole Swine Flu thing (are we doing enough, too much, is it blown out of proportion...)

As we left, a woman was at the door handing out a draft of a notice that will be sent to students regarding symptoms and the like. She was freaking LICKING HER THUMB to get the next sheet to hand out.

Um, gross. I was grossed out when my 2nd grade teacher did that. I haven't read the letter yet, I have sent it out to be sanitized, but I wonder if one of the items is: do not lick your fingers to pick up a paper then hand that paper to someone as that paper is now covered in your germ-ridden slimy phlegm.

I hate that.

I have to wonder: are your freaking fingers made of teflon or something? How hard is it to get the next sheet of paper? At the very least, invest in one of those rubber fingers. :lol:

You can even flex the stack of papers just so, and it will fan them all out by a millimeter each, so you can just pick each one up.

Exactly!

A woman I work with is 8 months pregnant. I turned to see her come out the door with her nose all wrinkled up, and she mumbled "I told her I already have one."

You know if they had sent out an email, they would have saved some paper and some germs.

This was a draft for us to peruse: I'm sure the final will be sent to student emails. Don't know why they printed them though, we could read it online just as easily.

I just found out I got some free money.

Tip jar.;)

K

Last night it was bad subtitles.
We have to have them on because Mum's hearing is sensitive and she won't tolerate loud noise. Dad and I have limited hearing, so can't catch every word - not always necessary, but in dramas it helps.

In one night I saw, "standing up to her cruel gaze" as "standing up to her cruel gays" and "poise and grace" as "poison grace."

FTR - this is via the subtitles on TV (and we appreciate them being there!) rather than films, where they tend to be much more accurate. The only time they bug me is for comedy, where I get to read the punchlines before they are performed. Still, better than missing jokes.

My cow orkers.

Some of them are in a total flap because they are trying to enter marks into spreadsheets and they won't save. It is some kind of "read-only" protection.


Save-as people, SAVE-AS. :lol: Now they love me.

Sometimes the choices products give.

Why not make all cat food urinary health.

All toothpastes have tartar control

and all deodorants maximum protection.

It amuses me I can choose a high ash content to kill my cat, prefer to have tartar on my teeth this month and smelly armpits if I want.

This is America, goddammit, you have the constitutional right, to smelly armpits, cruddy teeth and a dead cat. :rant:

Maybe it's because there are also drawbacks to all those benefits -like cancer of the armpits, bleeding gums and there are 101 uses for a dead cat and only 7 uses for a live one?

blindsided me there monster

I was laughing out loud before I knew it

.....didn't see that coming

Mum's friend D (the infamous D who "knew" I was faking depression because I coloured my hair) has been convinced for years that anti-perspirants cause breast cancer. An ex nurse. Sigh.

I am being mildly amused by one of my more hopeless students. In general without a clue (12/40), he can nevertheless recognise a statistical generalisation when he sees one (probably just because it has a % sign in it, but never mind that); but his attempt to name this comes out as "Genersatical".
Mind you, his mate got 11.5/40. [shakes head sadly]

A few of these lads who should never have been admitted to the course.

from a funny site a friend pointed out to me: textsfromlastnight . com:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2563/...cc6f53d5ea.jpg

So today a student made a crack about Dayton, she'd been robbed of all her stuff recently, and I said "you mean the armpit of Ohio?" and she wrote it down for later use.

I totally stole that but I don't know from where. It's the thievin' that keeps on givin'!

I usually use online banking but on the road I used my cell phone to get a balance. After the system asked me for all important numbers and to possibly give over my first born it then asked," press 1 to continue" :rolleyes:

press one to continue???"?:eyebrow:

Hey, now. :mecry:

Heheheheeh...it's mild compared to what I call MY town. ;)

I was just giving her a little boost. I like Dayton. :)

Let me guess... is it a different body part?