Worst Way to Die
 

I've hoped to be shot in bed by a jealous husband at the age of 110, but I know that won't happen.

I think this is about the worst way possible.

Pretty bad.

Joan of Arc, burned at the stake had to be pretty bad too, since she had to know it was coming so had the anticipation of the painful death as well as the painful death.

That mom getting killed by her nut job son who went on to kill all those kids in the school had a pretty easy way out. Shot in the head in your sleep. Not bad. Go to sleep at night and don't even know you are getting shot.

Yes the anticipation would suck but a couple of breaths of fire and she's out, not two days of suffering. Six of one, half dozen of another I guess.

Pretty bad? It's horrible!

And it drove Gilles De Rais insane because he loved her so much.

Click here to watch a music video based on this very subject.

Even most Black Metal fans can't understand Black Metal lyrics, so the uploader has included the lyrics to this song in the video description. Just click "SHOW MORE".

Why?

Says the shooter's a coward.

You're kidding, right?:eyebrow:

You did read his post? In it's entirety? All 5 lines of it?

"Why?" does not always mean what one thinks.
`

When I was 20 I went biking through Yellowstone with a buddy of mine. All the springs were cordoned off so you couldn't get close enough to really get a good look at them. I asked the ranger what the story was and he said the previous week a couple of guys were walking around with one of their dogs, some water retrieving kind of dog, (you can see where this is going) who decided to jump into the boiling water.

Man's best friend's best friend DOVE into the water to rescue his boiled dog. Man's best friend's best friend's best friend WADED in after him! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK???

The first two were pretty much dead instantly, the other guy probably instantly wished he was dead. It's all fun and games until you boil your nuts off.

This was 1980, I think. I may have to look it up.

I think it would be pretty awful to die slowly and consciously, knowing you were leaving someone you loved and who loved you thinking you didn't love them, and having no way to let them know.

Oh you meant physical pain and injury? sorry can't help. Obviously knowing fuck-all about it would be the best way

What's most sad to me is that I'm not sure who thinks they are unloved in that scenario. In any case it seems awful when people die with unspoken feelings in their hearts.

Maybe more so if they are being slowly roasted at the time.

Long pork

Boasting much, LJ?

Yum!

This girl gets it.

I mentioned to Carruthers the other day that walking past the serious burns ward at Stoke Mandeville hospital was always disconcerting. It honestly smelled of cooked meat. I only did it when I had to have a blood test (back in the days when that was scary to me, before the NHS started selling my blood on eBay or the black market or something) so it didn't make me hungry...

I bet I would smell like bacon.

Other Worst Ways To Die
 

Feet first through a poorly-tuned wood chipper.

Buried alive in a pine coffin.

Thats lighter wood to you boy.

tarheel

Get run over by a Goldwing.

tarheel

What, no recipes? Might I suggest a simple sage, onion and cranberry stuffing, and a mustard honey glaze?

And if you feel guilty about it afterwards we can dig a grave and you can throw up into it.

Hah!

So funny!

:hurl:

A few months ago I was walking down the street and I run into my old friend Bruce, "Hey Bruce, what's new? I haven't seen you ages." I ask.

"Don't call me Bruce, Call me Mr. Lucky!"

"Huh?"

"Last month I was driving along minding my own business when I notice a semi loaded with steel, change lanes coming straight at me. I can't go around him because I'm blocked by a school bus on my left and there is a rock wall on my right. Just when I think it couldn't get any worse I see in the rear view mirror another semi, this one loaded with concrete pre-cast forms bearing down on me at top speed.

"The next thing I knew I was sitting in a hay wagon loaded with new-mown hay next to a voluptuous farm girl. I was miraculously ejected from the vehicle and landed unscathed.

"I sued both trucking companies and won a $25 million judgement from each of them."

"Holy crap! You are Mr. Lucky."

A couple of weeks later, I run into him again, "Mr. Lucky! What's happening?" I ask.

"Don't call me Mr. Lucky." he says, "Call me Mr. Lucky Lucky."

"Say what, now?"

"I decided to take a vacation to Hawaii with some of the scratch I got from the accident. Things were going great until we were just about to land when the plane had engine trouble and began a rapid descent. Unfortunately there was another plane right in our path and the two planes collided. Both planes were immediately destroyed, torn to shreds. Me and a stewardess were in the lavatory joining the mile-high club when it happened. The whole lavatory, with us in it, flew off in another direction from the rest of the wreckage and we made a safe landing in the water. Some dolphins pushed us to shore and we were the only survivors.

"We sued both plane companies and won $100 million and free first class airfare for life. Not only that, but the dolphins also pushed out luggage to the shore along with us."

"Wow. No question about it, you ARE Mr. Lucky Lucky!"


A few days ago, I run into him again, "Mr. Lucky Lucky! How's life treating you?" I said.

"Don't call me Mr. Lucky. Call me Mr. Lucky Lucky Lucky."

"Uh oh, what happened this time?"

He began, "Last week I was in bed with that stewardess I met, and we were really going at, hammers and tongs, when her husband (she never told me she was married!) burst in the door, pulled out a gun and shot me in the ass!"

"Ummm, How is that lucky?" I asked.

"Are you kidding? If he'd come in five minutes earlier it would have been the back of my head."

This thread keeps making me think of this song:

You are not alone, Your Fobbleness.

Reading the thread on the phone, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll... The title bar of that vid appears on the bottom of my screen and the whole earworm pops into my head, instantly, complete.

You are not alone, Your Vness.

yeah, now we all got it

Me too!

Funny story: as Minifobette was going in for her sinus surgery last week, they asked if she wanted to watch anything on the nurse's phone while she fell asleep to the anesthesia. She blanked and couldn't name anything right away, so I asked if she wanted "Dumb Ways to Die," because it's one of the kids' favorite songs. And all the nurses looked at me like I was insane.

Other Worst Ways To Die
 

Being beaten to death with a rubber chicken.

Clodfobble, you are as sick as I am. We be driving down the road and she will have to stop and urinate. I'll say well don't think of Niagara Falls, don't think of a dripping faucet, etc. Yep, two peas in a pod.

tarheel

And it still happens....

Complete article at The Guardian. dated 17th Nov.

Do you think he dropped acid before dropping into the acid?

Booo. Hiss, booo.

I almost lost an eye 6 years ago to MRSA...if that shit would have spread and killed me, that would have been an asinine way to go. "Well, I had a sty on my eye that turned into an abscess which turned into staph, THEN became MRSA in the hospital..."

Beest wore his RIP tombstone paintball shirt when he went in for some pretty serious surgery last year.... (RIP = Ref In Play)