Antidepressant round-up
 

What are you on now? What have you been on in the past? How's it working out for you?


I've taken Zoloft on a number of occasions and today I was gently told by a friend who knows about this sort of thing and me that I might want to go see my doc about getting beack on the program again.

I'm looking for a new kick though. Zoloft just hasn't worked lately.

Suggestions?

I've been on most psychoactive drugs in my life.

The ones I remember working best are Effexor and Wellbutrin.

Currently I'm on a combination of Zoloft and Trazodone. That's working very well for me, aside from a brief stint of fainting spells early on (potentially a side-effect of Trazodone).

My "diagnosis" is Bipolar I, so what works for me might not be reasonable for a more common depression.

Paxil, a wonder drug for my chronic anxiety illness.

I am on Wellbutrin and Abilify. Frankly I don't know if they improve my mood much, but I'm not stopping them to find out what exactly they are doing. The Abilify is giving me a very slight involuntary motion of the arms, so the doc just added a tiny dose of Cogentin to the mix, it is a side-effect suppressant for the Abilify.

Of all the antidepressants I have been on, Wellbutrin has settled best with me. The ssri's like Paxil and Prozac killed my sex drive and made me feel very flat.

I am also on Simvastatin for cholesterol, and I just read that it can cause memory issues, so I am wondering if my occasional foggy memory is because of the statin or if it is all the other stuff I am taking.

I remember paxil, prozac, zoloft...then somewhere in there was a wellbutrin add-in, which didn't last long. Currently Effexor XR 150 plus an occasional generic atavan for anxiety attacks. Current has been a few years now, and seems to still help. Sometimes others just "stopped working."

Sorry, I am one of those anti-antidepressant people. I think much can be done with CBT and good nutrition and exercise.

I do realize there are times when people need them. My sis is dealing with chronic pain and my mom. My sis doesn't like SSRI's either, but conceded that it was in the best interest of sanity and pain management. When you are in pain it is hard to deal with stress. I am happy to report they are all happy now. My mom is happy as a clam and my sis is doing well and happy mom is with her.

I only take trazodone to help me stay asleep, but it is an anti-depressant. It really doesn't stop the SAD tho, which comes on at the end of daylight saving time. I know that I need to eat better and start exercising to counteract that. Soon.

Maybe get the partial temporal lobe seizure thing ruled out first, just to be sure. People with seizures are also prone to depression, and I can tell you right now that being on low levels of anti-seizure meds (Trileptal, specifically) makes me feel freaking fantastic.

I'm very anti-drug. About 10 years ago I was on a very intense drug regime. The only things that ended up helping were the things you mentioned.

Then I went about 6 years without them, and stayed pretty healthy with diet and exercise, practicing CBT techniques myself and going in for periodic CBT "check ups." But then my ability to cope was overwhelmed by stressors (3 deaths in the last year, 2 moves and job switches, marriage, etc.). I spent 10 days in the hospital this month to get things back on the rails.

If you are safe (i.e., are coping "okay" and not self-harming or suicidal) and don't have the therapy, nutrition and exercise situation pegged do that first.

Sometimes you just need drugs.

I hope you are doing better Perry.

Pinot Grigio. Or sometimes Jim Beam & Diet Coke. Beer's just too fattening.

Okay, seriously, I'm terrified of antidepression meds. Many years ago I was in one of my valleys and mentioned to hubby that maybe I ought to take something for it - he adamantly said *no way* and gave me some horror story about some guy he knew whose wife was crazier after she went on the meds than before, and how he believed you got to be dependent on the stuff and it messed up your brain. This from a guy who did his share of recreational chemicals, you know?

So I got scared off. I did take Wellbutrin for a week or so when I was quitting smoking - figured it'd kill 2 birds with 1 stone - and it made me so hyper I couldn't stand it. I was happy, sure, but felt like I'd drank 4 pots of coffee.

Actually coffee does work just about as well as anything else! The hard part is getting motivated enough to get my ass out of bed and brew some.

Now, I have no idea why I thought I needed my husband's *permission* to take medication, for heaven's sake. I'm seriously thinking about discussing it with my doctor. But I don't like my doctor, and we're still trying to figure out what I should take for blood pressure, and I'm not sure how well the two types of meds play together anyhow.

Truthfully I think I'm bipolar. I had kind of a manic episode last August and while I can see why some people actually *like* them, I found it extremely unsettling. Of course, it could just be my age and the hormone thing. Damn, we're so complicated.

I'm on 40mg Citalopram (Celexa?)
It's used as much for anxiety as depression, and I think this might be where it helps me.

It's made a HUGE difference to my life.
I no longer have a heightened fear of everything. I no longer automatically think about killing myself when something minor goes wrong. I have been able to deal with bills and creditors - I've even phoned my bank when I've been worried I'm about to go overdrawn, rather than bury my head in the sand.

I haven't thought that anyone hates me and is laughing about me behind my back for a couple of years now.
I no longer lie awake at night wanting to die and hating myself so intently that I am rigid with disgust.

I have tried to get CBT, but there is nowhere locally that has it on the NHS and I can't afford to pay.
I'm fixing the diet and exercise thing.
But if I'm on Citalopram for ever I don't care.
I'm still me - I still have ups and downs. I can feel joy and excitement and painful nostalgia - it's certainly not all flat and grey. But there is less desperation, hopelessness, distress.

I tried a few anti-depressants years ago; but didn't like them, and didn;t really treat them with enough respect (note to self: Seroxat is not a recreational drug! )

I am quite wary of anti-depressants on the whole. I think they are often prescribed to people who are not actually suffering from the kinds of depression that the drugs are meant to tackle. That's probably where a lot of the horror stories of people getting worse on meds come from. Some types of depression can be tackled with medication, some really shouldn't. Unfortunately many GPs have a tendency to view it as a simple depressed/not depressed issue and either assume drugs will help, or assume they won't, without actually establishing a real diagnosis of what kind of depression they are looking at or what causal factors might be at play. At the same time, the psychiatric professionals often seem siloed into their own area of expertise and push their own pet strategies almost regardless of depression type/cause.

If you have a bi-polar condition then medication is usually a very sensible route. CBT is great, but is unlikely to be able to tackle wild swings in brain chemistry.

What I do take are drugs that act on anxiety, rather than depression. I take hydroxizine, which is a combination anti-histimine and sedative. Because of the eczema, I get anxious, and because I get anxious the eczema gets worse and so forth. Even if my eczema is ok, if I have a bout of anxiety it will kick it off big style. The hydroxizine allows me to break that cycle when I am in it, and prevent it occurring at certain regular times (such as night time). It's far from perfect, but it helps. Unfortunately medicine hasn't really learned how to deal with the sensation of itching yet. They can block histimine production, but that really only answers a small part of the itch problem: not all itching is the result of histimine production. beyond that, anti-priuritics and sedatives can be helpful: but they all treat itching as essentially a mild form of pain. We now know, though only very recently, that itching is an entirely distinct process using entirely distinct receptors.

All they can really do right now is sedate, mildly anaesthetise and bring down inflammation.

For the rest i self-medicate with pot and coffee, and sci-fi :P

what is CBT?

eta - oh. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. (thanks, Google!)

I see a therapist but she's actually a cancer therapy specialist. She's helped me more than any other form of Rx/therapy combined. She's simply wonderful. I've learned so much from her - she's helped me! BUT, I went to many, many therapists who were of minimal to no help. It's important to keep pressing and looking for one that works for you.

The one thing cancer did do for me was introduce me to her. She's changed my life in many ways. :)

plus, the prozac. Gotta have the prozac. :)

Well, it might lift a little depression to know that every time I read CBT, my sick mind thinks of the other CBT first. Even when reviewing psych student essays at work.

Sometimes it is hard to be me. Is there a pill for that?

um...what is the other CBT?

My Dad gets super upbeat and talkative on his anti-seizure med.

I used to take Lexapro. I took a depression survey, while on it. IIRC, most people score an 8, people on Lexapro score a 14, I scored a 24. That's when I was switched to generic Prozac, with a kicker of folic acid (I think). I guess I feel good. Worst thing is that I look at something and think "I should do this", then I think "fuck it, Imma gonna play scramble on facebook". And I know I shouldn't be doing it.

Magnesium Malate is good for what ails you.

oh and reading some descriptions of the antidepressants you are taking, seems science has come a long way. I am glad they are working. Especially interesting are the anti anxiety meds. I am glad to know you have had such dramatic results SG.

My son who works on his anxiety in alternate fashion cannot take them, as he has a bad reaction to them. He thinks therapists are are a waste of time and has his own CBT workbooks to work through any anxiety, by changing the way his body wants to react to stress.

As long as there is focussed routine it works pretty well.

I eat very health consciously, exercise, take yoga, meditate, and have done CBT. I've never had suicidal thoughts until recently. My feeling about suicide is it's like walking out of a movie before it's over. When watching movies, I generally like to give the film/film maker the benefit of the doubt and wait to see how it ends, maybe they pull it together before the end. You don't know until then.

CBT has always been a problem for me since I have eyt to meet a therapist that wasn't either more fucked up than me, or nowhere near as smart as me and thus unable to realize that I am playing them. The worst is when I've seen therapists who make the mistake of confusing depression with stupidity. I don't really have much faith in CBT, after about 15 therapists over the past 25 years, I doubt I'll find one who will be helpful. Not to mention the cost.

My depression was diagnosed as Dysthymia. For me, what should take about five minutes, e.g. Go downstairs and get the board, measure it, cut it, and bring it back upstairs and nail it in place, takes about a half an hour or longer with a significant amount of time spent standing there thinking about having to go all the way downstairs and get the board... Sometimes I'll just get as far as going and getting the board and deciding I will measure it tomorrow.

I will load the washing machine and wash the clothes, then dry them. The dry clothes will then sit in the basket for weeks. If I do the laundry, then I probably won't be able to do anything else, like shave or sew a button on my shirt. It comes on so slowly that I don't even notice it until I find I am not returning important phone calls or emails, taking all day to get one sink of dishes washed, etc.

It's kind of fucked up.

Lately, and for the first time in my life, I have begun to feel that my family would be better off without me around. This is not the dominant thought, but it has begun to show up and that gives me concern. That and being unable to accomplish even the most insignificant tasks.

A friend with many years of sobriety in AA told me that his sponsor said to him "A lot of people will say 'I drink because my life is a mess' I suggest they flip the causality; there life is a mess because they drink."

So, for a long time I was feeling I'm depressed because of x,y,z in my life, and my friend asked me if it were possible that x,y,z were in my life because I was depressed.

In any case, I'm seeing my Doc first thing Monday am.

And thanks for your thoughts.

Take care brother.

I am sorry this is happening to you foot. It is frustrating and maybe the frustration in it'self leads to a spiraling down. You seem to be funny and smart and you are needed by so many people. Here too! Keep your head up and just know there is light at the end of what seems like a long dark tunnel.

I am glad you are going to see your doctor on Monday. I know he will give you something to get you back on your feet. I hope he can prescribe something to elevate your mood a bit. When you are having such a bad time, I would not stand in anyones way by getting the medications that would help them feel better. It's just about what works for the individual.

Talking about mood elevators. I tried this product called, Sam-e once for joint pain but the "UP" jolt I got from it made me feel anxious. I could imagine that for someone who is down a mood enhancer like this might benefit. The word is that many people find it helps with their mood. I don't know.

Be well foot :comfort:

I get that, too. It's not an active thought to off myself, more like a thought that if I were to die in a car accident, it would be no big thing.

I think you have something here foot. Maybe you are having mini sezures all of the time. Make the doctor check it out!


I know that sounds bossy.

Note: I'm not a doctor. This is not medical advice you should rely on. I'm just speaking from my pool of amateur knowledge and experience as a patient.

If you are bipolar, you don't want to take just an anti-depressant. That can send you into a serious and prolonged mania.

The textbook way to treat bipolar is to combine a mood stabilizer and antidepressant. The way I look at it is the mood stabilizer puts a cap on your highs and lows, then the antidepressant minimizes the lows.

foot - allow me to add my voice to the choir: I am VERY glad you are going to see your doc on Monday. Maybe print out what you wrote up there and hand it to him/her?

You sound more than dysthymic IMHO. can you wait until monday??

This is a very common statement and I'm here to tell you that, for the people who truly don't need them, anti-depression meds do nothing.

The horror stories come from people who are given the wrong drug for their condition, i.e., someone given antidepressants, who really needs a mood stabilizer, is likely to get much worse.

Also, since everyone's brains are different, it often takes a little trial and error to find the right med and the right dosage. For a while I was having side effects at a higher dosage - so I took a lower amount and was fine. Then I went to an even lower dosage, and the anxiety illness came back.

I feel similar sometimes, foot. In all those ways. There are days I just can't seem to get a damn thing done. I've got this writing business, but I can't make myself do what I need to market myself, and if I do get a gig I put it off till I'm apologizing and making excuses, always getting it done just at the very tail end of their time allotment--when I used to be known as Ms. Quick Turnaround. I just finished one yesterday and it was like *torture* to do it - granted, it was about stocks & 401k's and such . . . but still!

And this house! I keep thinking that I'm unmotivated because I hate the house. But I don't hate it, it's just overwhelming. I can't keep up with housework. I stay home so I can keep on top of things and take care of my family and maybe do some home improvement stuff but it's just so HAAAAARD.

Then I feel terrible about myself because I never do a damn thing, I tell myself I'm so lazy, I'm a loser, my husband ought to just kick me out and find a better wife and mother for our kids. Worse yet sometimes I SAY that and get everybody upset, then I feel bad about myself for doing that too. Ugh.

I felt great about myself when I was in school, but it wasn't perfect because all I was doing was putting off the other stuff so I could focus on the one important thing in my life just then, the school stuff, and of course there was immediate feedback telling me I did good, yes I was actually good at something, and I figured that even though I was letting my family down it was only for a little while longer . . . but even then I felt terribly selfish.

Yeah, I need help. Last time I went to a therapist he was a complete blithering idiot. Hard to believe any of them aren't, at this point. We get counseling free through hubby's work, but that's where the idiot came from. You get what you pay for, eh?

@ UT: *nods* that sounds about right. Most of my experience with anti-depressants comes from well over a decade ago. I suspect that things have moved on since then. How depression is diagnosed, understanding of different causes and types, recognition of the complex brain chemistry involved and so forth has all progressed since the initial prozac/seroxat flurry.

Long time since I went and got a catch-all diagnosis of 'clinical depression'. I went looking at wiki pages to figure out what that condition Foot listed, and found something that sounds so very like my experience that it could easily fit as a diagnosis.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclothymia

Weed and alcohol. And occasionally, sex. The weed and the alcohol work ok.

The sex works real good.

One of my favorite nurses at the hospital suggested I try weed. Not sure what to make of that.

It seems like you should have an observer or journal or something. It is so easy to lose yourself self-medicating.

Juniper, I have the same effin problem. My get up and go has got up and went. And I cant get it back. However, I just started cheating a little. When I need to get a lot done in a little time, I take a little bit of Adderall (left over from my stepson). Not a whole pill...way to many bad side effects - getting seriously irritable for one and totally losing my appetite for another. It is simply speed after all and speed was my preferred drug when I was in high school and college.

Pseudoephedrine works for me too, but with high blood pressure I can't take it anymore :(

I don't do weed anymore but it was like ultra caffeine for me, I would get a tremendous amount of things done just not very focused, and then the let down on the back side was three or four days of zombie-like inability to motivate.

I haven't had the luxury of having four days where I could be completely non-functioning in decades.

Yea, I get somewhat the same effect, which is why I am sol when I have a sinus headache at night. The pseudoephedrine in Advil Sinus is the only thing that kicks it.

Shit dude...:(

Depression as choice: you knew some bozo would imply that.

Hint: if you can control it, subdue it, kick it, push it back, hide it, cajole it, humor it, play with it, languish in it, and stab it, then it is NOT clinical depression.

Big difference. Just sayin'.

Alternatively it means someone suffers varying degrees of depression and sometimes feel as if they are making a choice not to sink deeper, because in that instance the bout of depression they are feeling is a more manageable one.


I do somewhat subscribe to an element of choice in depression. But I also know that in my own case, I am not capable of making that choice until i get to a certain point with it. Usually, I have already been depressed for some time when I have an epiphany moment ("Ohhh...I'm depressed, that's what it is.") and this epiphany moment usually occurs in the early hours of the morning, having thoroughly harangued myself mentally, with my mind on fast and looping rails, for several hours. Usually this happens after several nights, or more rarely weeks, of the same shit.

Once I have that epiphany moment, everything clicks into place: it explains this about the last few days/weeks, and that. It explains where that tears at the back of my eyes and tight throat feeling is coming from. It explains why I haven;t been able to make myself work, or function properly in the world. Why I've been ignoring the phone, avoiding people, feeling old, feeling ill, feeling whatever negative shit I've been feeling. It explains why the pots have piled up in the kitchen and are discussing forming their own commune. It explains why I haven't been enjoying Pilau's walk, or seeing friends, or anything else that takes me out of my cocoon. It explains why I have ceased being kind to myself and am mentally raking over shit I long ago deemed settled. It explains why I can't interact within any of my family, without having some part of my mind preparing for future bereavement. And why the far future looks so dark.

Once I have realised it's depression, I am on the way up. I am suddenly capable of switching off the thought-rail. Yes it turns itself back on again, but I quickly spot it and turn it back off. I still don't want to go out, but I am more able to force myself through that. Work is still an effort, as is writing on an envelope and posting a letter, but I am usually able then to make myself do one or two small tasks. Ok, so posting back a form, and phoning the vet isn't exactly a day's work, but coming up, it feels like an achievement and another step back.

Over the years I seem to be able to spot that trend sooner. Before I sink to the real depths. Whether it's an illusion or not, I feel more able to intervene and exert control at certain points in the process. My memories of those depths scare the shit out of me, and I am kind of always vigilant for signs that I am losing a grip on my control, my optimism, my peace of mind. I have developed strategies. Things I tell myself, things I do. That allow me to feel more in control of it.

There is a price though. This is part of the reason I have chosen both a single, and a childless life. I am happy with that choice. I have learned to be happy more generally with my choices. A trick taught me both by some very shitty experiences and a very wise Mum.

Times when I've thought I could 'manage' my depression, and went off my meds: well, I'm lucky I'm not dead and can still hold a job.

I think this is why so many people seem to be on anti-depressents: for relief from the 'blues.' I have no problem with that. Getting through rough spots, not a problem. SSRIs don't turn you into a zombie, it seems a fair treatment.

I just get concerned with lackadaisical attitudes towards true clinical (chemical) depression by blues sufferers who pick themselves up by the bootstraps and ride off into the sunset like some western hero. It's great that they can do that: but it doesn't mean they're awful darn special and stronger than everyone else or something. ;)

With respect Shawnee: that is your experience of clinical depression. Not everybody's experience of clinical depression is the same. Not everybody with depression would be suicidal without meds.

Different people experience different kinds of depression and they are debilitated in different ways and to different extents. What you look at from a distance and see as 'blues' might be depression. What looks like depression from a distance, might be the blues.

Someone who has never experienced depression telling someone with clinical depression to pull themselves up by their bootstraps is annoying yes. It's not at all helpful, and shows an ignorance on their part as to what depression is. But it's not helpful either to mark out some competetive sliding scale that ranks 'proper' depressives as people who are completely incapacitated by depression if untreated, and anything else as a not really depression.

How do you know whether that person is truly depressed or just has the blues? You only get a fraction of what other people experience, and what you get is skewed by their own understanding of themselves, and their own ability to express.

OK, I get that. But I can only draw from my experience. And there are those who like to dabble in illness, who want something wrong with them, who want to say "Yabbut, look what I did...what YOU could not." That is what I'm addressing, and it's hardly an arguable point. The munchhausens always want to find something wrong, must have diagnosis...otherwise it just makes so little sense.

I think I'm superior because my depression is more than just the blues? Yeah, no. I really wouldn't choose this for my own worst enemy. I'd give anything to kick it, to not be 'me' but I can't.

I'd like to not be thoroughly hurt, once again, that my expressed opinion has met with, once again, the whole "you are out of order and misguided" thing. But that is also just a part of "me" I'd rather not live with, that over-sensitivity, but have to.

Right now I'm going to choose to try to get some work done, one foot in front of the other, keep the job, make everyone happy...everybody smile now. Here we go.

Please to forgive if my talk of depression in a depression thread was not correct.

Consider that maybe I read your post as a dig at me, since I felt able to bring myself back from the brink.

Apols :P

No no no, not at all at you. :(

In general, mostly, but there was a tone that offended me, but it wasn't you.

My apologies as well. I'm feeling a bit down. ;) <-----winky smilie seems out of place, but I wanted to convey some sort of irony.

Good good, glad we got that cleared up aheh. yeah. I'm a little tetchy at the moment. Or rather, slightly more easily riled than usual.


On a slight aside: I don't actually think of myself as a depressive now. It's something that swooshes into my life every so often, regardless seemingly of general happiness or circumstance, and then swooshes out again. There's always a kind of low lying darkness in there somewhere more generally. But I doubt that's different to most people. I get sad, too, obviously. But not to any greater extent than anybody else. Mostly I'm happy, as in I am reasonably satisfied with who I am, relatively forgiving of who I've been and pretty much comfortable with where I am heading.

One of the most powerful realisations I had about depression (as I experience it), was that it didn't in any way seem to correspond with periods of more general unhappiness. That is to say: I had a long period of being generally unhappy, and during that time I also experienced depression. I always kind of assumed the two went together, until i discovered some happiness and peace of mind and still had those same bouts of depression. Same with the sudden feelings of something almost euphoric. I'd categorised that as sheer relief that the whole thing (whatever thing it was at each time) was over. But I still get it from time to time. Like I've dropped speed or something, for hours, or days at a time. Sometimes for a very short spell, followed by a bit of a crash.

It's the bizarrest thing, to feel happiness at one level and depression at another, with both kind of coexisting for a while, at the start and end of a spell.

I remember the moment I realized I had clinical depression. I was driving down the street and I felt this heavy weight on my body. I didn't feel sad so much as I felt that nothing mattered. I could drive down the road or I could drive off the embankment and it didn't matter which choice I made.

I remember the moment I realized the drug was bringing me out of it. I was looking up at the sky and admiring the awesome gradient of blue it created. Every day a gradient with billions of colors no Photoshop will ever be able to reproduce. And I realized: I'm seeing colors again. I'm hearing birds again. I wasn't hearing them before.

Wow, yeah UT, I know what you mean. I remember thinking "one sharp pull to the steering wheel, just one..."

Also, I really get ya, Dana. Sometimes I swear I think I am all that, on top of the world, kiss my sweet bippy if you don't like me...but it doesn't last. Then again, neither does the depression. I HAVE learned, as you pointed to, to recognize that it WON'T last, and that does help me get through it.

This year I got an additional diagnosis of anxiety attacks, after some pretty hairy moments seemingly related to pms/perimenopause. I think it's more than that, though. I wonder if bipolar isn't a better diagnosis: but I don't experience extreme mania, just some freak out moments.

At any rate, I wish it weren't a part of me, but I guess I wouldn't be me if it weren't? Or something.

The doesn't matter thing I recognise from a few really bad bouts. But a long time ago. The ones that give me a slight chill to recall.

Y'know somebody in here or the other thread (not scouring to find out :P) said the Cellar was part of their self-therapy. Can't recall if it was a serious or flippant point being made; but I kind of concur to a degree. The last time I really felt I was totally losing control, was somewhere around the time I joined the Cellar. Ether just prior to or just after. I've had maybe two or three slides since then, but I seem to have become aware of them faster, and able to talk myself (and write) out of it quicker. I don't know to what extent that is due to more general lifestyle changes giving me more room to deal with things my own way, and to what extent it was having a place to express where I was at, but the Cellar definately played a part.

If only by providing a visible neon sign to myself that i was reacting to things and people differently.

Foot asked what worked or what we did to feel better. Although, I appreciate my approach there are those times when an individual needs medical intervention, as in the case of my sister, who I encouraged to go that route, even though she leans toward the natural approach too. Somethings are just too deep and prolonged to ignore or find relief in natural methods.

My methods would be a good supplement in those serious situations but are in no way, I feel the in all to the cure for serious depression. This is how my son deals with anxiety, but antidepressants don't work out for him. They make him feel suicidal. So this is what works here.

It was in no way, an implied attempt to tell anyone to pull up their boot straps. Least of all foot, who I hope is at the doctor right now getting that RX.

Back from doc with scrip. More later.

What if ya just live with it?

Well, don't hide 'em, divide 'em!

:eyebrow:

Wow, I hadn't thought of that.

Oh yeah, I mentioned that living might not have been an option without help.

I thought about this the other day, my conversation with Dana, and I think what I failed to mention is that there is guilt involved with "why can't you just live with it" which is a lot like the bootstraps comments. Do you suppose that those who are finding a way to live with it haven't tried, time after time, to do it without meds, to just keep putting one foot in front of the other? Years of that guilt, that "what the fuck is wrong with my sorry ass" is what makes me touchy on the subject.

I also have genetics against me: a grandparent was most certainly bipolar, though I won't get into details. A wonderful man, really, but looking back on his behaviors, on his life...maybe an old-timey diagnosis would have helped him.

There is still the social stigma, the misunderstanding. For example, Grav, the joke to foot "don't hide 'em, divide 'em" while clever, belies ignorance about how modern anti-depressants work. I could send you half of mine, but all it will do is make you very sick for a while. If you get used to them, you'll just get very very sick upon withdrawal. But you can pick up my prescription, when you realize you're a day out of them and you're about to get very very ill.

You wouldn't ask for this, let alone impose this diagnosis on yourself, unless you like to be sick for attention. I do not.

[/soapbox]

As a grade school teacher, Mrs. Z has seen a number of parents who wanted to put their kid on meds that didn't need them.

But more commonly she saw parents of kids who clearly needed the meds and didn't want to go that route. Her comment to them was, "If your kid had an infection and needed antibiotics, would you hesitate for even a minute to give them the drugs they needed? This should be no different."

Some listened. Some didn't.

And if you have diabetes, don't take drugs for it, that's "unnatural". Just live with it!

I really don't think it is possible to explain depression to someone who hasn't personally experienced it. I think a lot of people hear the beginning of the description and say "Oh yeah, I've had that feeling and I find if I just go out for a walk I feel better." or some such equivalent.

I imagine it would rather be like trying to explain to someone the feeling of an orgasm. It's funny to hear someone say they think they've had an orgasm. Sort of like saying, I think I just sneezed.

Sure, there are different types of depression and different degrees of severity and I've seen people who are medicated that probably don't need it, and vice versa.

I think the armchair therapist opinions about treatment, especially coming from the undepressed, are generally not welcomed.

Here might be a tip that you don't really suffer from depression: If you find yourself offering advice to a depressed person about how to "get better" then you probably don't know what the fuck you are talking about.

<--- Not directed at anyone in general.

But, as Dana pointed out, not everyone who is depressed is also suicidal.

Lots of people just live with it, because the guilt, shame, and sheer paralysis of depression won't let them get help. They feel like they aren't worthy of help. Getting help requires money to be spent that could be spent on other things, even if those other things are just their kid's video games. Getting help requires time that could be spent on other things, even if it's mostly other people's time that matters and not your own.

I've dealt with depression's spectrum all of my life, really, but it wasn't diagnosed till I was about 20 and spent a week in the mental hospital. They said I was depressed, but also gave me another "tag" -- Borderline Personality Disorder, which probably says volumes about me. I always thought BPD was just a clinical, fancy way of saying "Antisocial, Selfish Bitch."

I don't think that's true, though, I don't have BPD. Some of the stuff fits but I'm a nice person most of the time. At least I think so.

My dad was depressed too. He took anxiety meds for a long time. So was my mom, but she was one of those "deal with it" types. I come by it honestly.

But if you do find things that really help you "live with it" and maybe put off going onto the whole med thing for a while, isn't that good? Can't we be happy about that without everyone who is on meds getting offended?

What foot said.

I AM happy for people who can 'live with it' without meds. I also think it's not even the same thing as what some of us are talking about.

I can boo-hoo about feeling badly, and take my meds, and not kill myself. It's that simple. I'm sorry that those with severe depression don't understand those of you who can just 'live with it' but as I said, you're comparing apples and oranges. I'm sorry, but you just are. This is not to say (retracting a bit of what I said in an earlier post) that you don't have some sort of clinical depression, but what we are talking about you don't just 'live with it' or walk it off. To imply that it can be so seems a smug viewpoint to those of us who just can't walk it off.

Could it be possible too, then, that you are not experiencing what foot's OP was about? More just a chance to jump in about how you can live with it?
That might be what it feels like to some of us, true or not, it seems presumptuous and condescending.

This is all in lieu of saying "goody for you." Yes, that can be the reaction too.

Now I'm going to walk off my fibromyalgia. :lol: Do you have that? I don't. I don't think it exists. I could be wrong, but when that thread starts I doubt I'll pop in to tell everyone "tally-ho and a boo hoo hoo, I had that but I took a salt bath and a long walk."

Oh, and I might 'live with it' if I could spend days in bed, not leaving the house. I have to function in this society and not drive off a cliff. No choices there.

Unless one of all y'all wanna be a sugar daddy to a depressive mess.

Deciding to "live with it" implies that you recognize "it" exists. My comments are directed more at depression deniers, those who think having "it" is a choice, not those just deciding to live with "it".

I think for most depressed people, they do choose to live with it, because if they were in a position to do something about it, they probably wouldn't be depressed.

I chose to take action when I saw the early warning signs. I knew where this was headed and I wasn't willing to go there without a fight.

When I was living in London with Steve he believed he could help me because he'd had depression.
Self diagnosed and unmedicated. But he talked about it so confidently I had always believed him.
Turns out he was "cured" by having a couple of therapy sessions, and therefore thought that this was the only viable way of "curing" depression.
I started to have my suspicions when he advised me to just start by doing something I enjoy - that's he he started getting his life back again.
It was tricky to explain that I did not enjoy anything when I was at my worst. Not eating, drinking, reading, sleeping, talking, watching television, taking a shower etc etc. All far too ambitious to even attempt.

Of course once the medication started to kick in I did treat myself to things I had previously enjoyed. And I did get to the point where I started to take pleasure in them again. My meds have finally brought me back to where I should be - a thrill on a frosty morning, enjoying a bumpy train ride, fascinated by a mosiac glass candle holder. But I won't forget that there was a time when I couldn't summon the willpower to go the toilet even when I was in physical pain from needing to go. That's not a walk-it-off level of being.