I'm Tired of Being Stoopid. Fix Me?
 

Elaborate. Extra points for eloquence.

Well for starters let's stop it with the pagan parties, the naked women, and the Celtic music, just lay off that, who needs it. Then there's the bit about taking care of your kid by giving him his own space on your place where you can keep an eye on things, really who needs the responsibility? Finally this fetish of acknowleging how you feel when someone passes, a smart man would bottle that up. So let's fix you, I'm thinking join the mega-church, now that is a celebration of life lined up in tidy rows listening to Christan rock. The boy should be a ward of the state. Start stuffing your emotions deep inside so the heat and pressure can make a beautiful diamond of your passions your anger despair hate sorrow love and joy. That'll fix you.

I'm completely in awe, great post, Griff! Eloquent elaboration.

Els? You don't need no fixin'

I can't elaborate on that. Simple fact.

Griff said it all.

I told Wolf recently I wanted to be in her End of the World group. You know - the people you'd want around you when it all goes down. Whether it's zombies, vampies, terrorists, nuclear strikes, a worldwide shortage of chocolate or an attack of killer bees. Wolf of course for her practicality, weapons, medical background, common sense. But also for her humanity, sense of humour, determination, intelligence and so I could giggle when she got freaked out by bugs and snakes.

I want you there too. When we retire to the Cellar bunker to wait until the world is habitable again, I want your humour, your integrity, the way you work through painful situations and don't put yourself first. I want your considered opinion, your gentle approach, your open sexual nature and common sense. The way you express yourself so well in writing and your cute surfer boy accent, even though I know you live nowhere by the sea.

I know you didn't post this fishing for compliments, but also know that I mean it. I'm not sleeping well, so I think about these things :)

sophistication eludes me too elsp.

I am sure you have a good heart.

In the grand scheme it's what matters. I keep saying.

I got the impression Elspode was looking for people to explain their own need for fixing... because we all know he doesn't need it. I could be wrong. :confused:

Aw hell, there ain't enough server space on earth for me to delve into what needs fixing about ME.

Goodness, a far tougher proposition. This could go on for days.

I need to like myself. Many of the screwed up, damaging, self-destructive things I do would be cancelled out by this. If I didn't hate my actions and reactions I could hold my head up higher.

I need to believe in myself. Have confidence, take a chance, even blag a little. I consider myself worthless and it limits me. At the moment I go to bed every night plotting a short story for a competition and it keeps me awake until 04,00 some mornings. I doubt I'll enter.

I need to stop accepting the lowest common denominator when it comes to my opinion of myself - other people's opinion only matters if I let it matter, and should never matter if that person doesn't know me. At present I take the most negative opinion and then add all the bad things they didn't even know about.

I'm not stupid. But when it comes to who I am and how I value myself I am stoopid.

I am my own worst enemy. I envy people with a sense of self worth. Much as I dream of winning the Euro Millions (there was an £85K million jackpot recently) I would trade that in for self confidence.

Or good sex.
Sorry.
I don't mean it, but a change in meds has made me really horny recently. AND I've worked out a way round the almost constant headaches, so it helps not hinders.

Sigh. I'm not stoopid. But I need mending.

I don't think he needs fixing either.

But if it's about others then I just need a job.

I am not enjoying unemployment. I have an interview with possible graveyard which I don't want because ...well because I don't. I think I want to throw the interview and it makes me feel bad about myself I entertain such a thought. Yet I might look so casual that I get it anyway.
I can type at their desired speed as long as it isn't numbers. It's data entry and so I think it must be all about numbers. I might not get it for that fact alone.

In tough economic times should I care that a graveyard shift wreaks havoc on a persons system? I cannot sleep during the day and I still look like crap from my last graveyard job. My health is all I have left and I want to keep it. It is state though and great benefits and I might get lucky and get a day position.

Excuse the thinking out loud but one just gets all mixed up inside even when you know something good will happen eventually even when you might not get what you want and get what you don't. One can still move on from there if needed.



ps. Sundae - You seem to be a wonderful person, witty and bright with a great smile too!

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We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities.
- Walt Kelly, "Pogo"

If I knew how, don't you think I would be fixed!!! :D