Invent a sexual position
 

The straight A - student with overdue essay on bottom, lecherous lecturer on top.

The interobang?! - sleeping with someone to get them off guard so you can ask them difficult questions.

The southern cross - developed specially for the back seat of a Monaro*.





*Aussie hoon car.

Oh come on, people!

(Yes, that sentence has a comma in it!)

The Electoral College - 540 dicks screwing 300,000,000 people, no lube.

The Hindenberg - enormous erection deflates catastrophically just before reaching home base. See "Oh the spewmanity!"

The Storm Surge - freak waves gush into her battery tunnel. (Too soon? That's what she said!)

Sexual position, like Sex Czar? Sorry our bureaucracy is too bloated for such.

The Military Position: like the missionary position only with guns and violence.

34.5: You're all alone and very bendy.

Starfuck (or, a Breve Bravo): Having sex in a venti cup of overpriced coffee while a third person pours steaming half and half over you.

I tried Zen. Can't say I didn't try.

Trysex: when you realize you are, in effect, just masturbating yourself.

Triple toe loop double axel with a swirl at the end.


I call it the Ice Creem Dream

http://mormonmissionarypositions.com/

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc...nhuco1_500.jpg

http://mormonmissionarypositions.com...tions_W_14.jpg

http://mormonmissionarypositions.com...tions_W_20.jpg

The Candidates' debate: two guys doing things with their tongues that no-one can believe.

The stock market: up-down-up-down-up-down-up-down-up-down-up-down... and a little bit sideways.

The apple maps: You want me to put it WHERE?

I think Ibby's Gay Mormons win.

They have bicycle helmets and everything. Hard to beat that.

As a side note, I am so disappointed that the "Book of Mormon" touring show isn't coming anywhere near Texas.

The Administration - just a hard, dry ass-fucking, and a slap in the face.

When you will only have sex, and lots of it, with illogical truth-twisting wannabe conservative shills...you are a Sex Adak.

:D

Panda bangs are becoming popular in Asia. So here's a pic