Premature Relationships (AKA High School)
 

After reading through several threads all around this forum, it's evident that I'm one of the younger members. I feel so young and stupid, haha.

That being said, I'm wondering what you guys think of High School relationships? I feel stupid. I've only been in three and they've all ended in disaster. To much drama going on everywhere. I hate to admit it, but I guess I got some too.

Anyways, I'm getting to the age (16-17) where everyone around me is starting to drink and party and all that jazz. I'm not much for that, in fact I already swore I would never drink (to myself if that counts as anything), and I'm not much of a party goer. It's hard for me to make friends, rather make girlfreinds, because of who I am. I'm not sexist or a perv or anything, but yea.

Anywho...I don't know where I'm going with this, but what do you guys think of high school relationships?

The teen years are the time for drama. You have to cram a lot of finding yourself in a very short period of time, including time wasted in detours and dead ends that come from thinking you should follow the pack.

College is much better. In college the experience pool is much larger, and you will find people whose level of weirdness is better matched to your own.

You will be amazed at irrelevant all the stuff you obsessed over in high school really is when you are looking back at it, 1, 5, 10 years later.

High school relationships are like training wheels on a bicycle.

Nothing wrong with high school relationships.

Show a genuine interest in people, ask questions and listen to the answers. You'll learn as you go, but you'll go nowhere by waiting for folks to talk to you. As hard as it might be, take the initiative.

High school relationships are great for learning about yourself - your likes, dislikes, and the sort. You'll also be learning howw to select (hopefully) compatable partners even though they will typically be short-lived relationships. It is a crash course on relationships and the opposite sex. You'll learn the things about the opposite sex that throws all logic out the window. You get to feel those butterflies for the first time and experience choosing and caring about someone else that you have chosen - not because they are a relative. Thats the biggest thing, I think - the "choosing and caring" - Its when you say I like this person because_________ and you get to fill in the blank - not you parents or anyone else. Its a great time in your life and things begin to move very quickly. Keep a good perspective on who you are and don't lose sight of "you" - EVER.

DO NOT PARTY! I'm serious. Partying in your high school years can cause irrepairable damage to your brain and emotions. I should know. PLEASE do not drink or smoke pot or anything else until your brain has fully grown and formed and if someone in your family (related by blood) is an addict, don't drink or party AT ALL. I am STILL paying the price for what I did back then and I'm 42. Hold on to yourself, respect yourself and don't worry about girls not liking you. Hang on. Like wolf said, just wait till college--you'll be so much more together than the kids who treated HS like a joke. And college girls like guys who have it together! :) Be strong!

There's a tendency in high school (particularly the last year or so) to think that "this is the last chance I'll get to do X while I'm in high school". It seems really pressing to get a girlfriend, have your life all planned out, make sure you are having all the fun you are supposed to be having (as defined by MTV) during the twilight of your yoot.

Meh.

Make the most out of every day, be kind to people, think about consequences before you do something stupid. You should be following the same rules when you're 60 as when you're 16. High school will be a faint memory in very short order -- if you remember the names of half of your high school acquaintances at your 10 year reunion, you'll be lucky.

Live by your principles, don't feel like you have to match some kind of template to be successful. If you like a girl, say hi and see what happens. If her values don't match yours, i.e., she thinks you have to get wasted to have a good time, keep looking. If you still haven't found love after the 10th one, you should at least have 10 new friends (who respect you for living life by your own terms).

high school guidance counselor blather notwithstanding, do the "just say no" thing, like Brianna said. Many wasted years can pass by without notice when you live with a constant buzz.

Thanks for all the input guys! Like wolf said, I'm hoping University life will be a bit nicer to me, but oh well. It's all the luck of the draw.

Thanks for the support, and I will NOT give in. I'm probably the only in my grade that hasn't partied (well you know what I mean by party), hasn't gotten drunk, or hasn't gotten high. I say screw the people who want me to, but it sure does make life difficult.

I'm in high school and I've had my current girlfriend for almost a year and a half, and we are genuinely planning to go to college together and get married. I recently moved overseas, but we're "doing the long-distance thing". So I may be somewhat biased, but high school relationships arent neccisarily all doomed for failure, and can last, if you work hard on it.

...I hope...

High school wasn't all that long ago for me.. and I look back and see high school reltionships as practice basically, for more in depth relationships in college and beyond. You will meet a huge variety of people at college, feel free to dip your toe in the waters of the opposite sex, you just may find the person you're looking for. I did not too long ago (see my 13 things photot essay, subtitle Love)

There is hope for young love ... I spent several hours today in the waiting room of my car dealer with a very sweet 89 year old lady (who was also waiting for her car to be repaired) who had known her husband since they were both 12 years old. She thought he was an idiot until she saw him with a very nice car and started talking to him again.

A couple of my best friends are married to their high school love's, I was really skeptical and thought it would never last, I am happy to be proven wrong :)

One of my best friends even married her first boyfriend one they got out of school, they have a couple of kids and a great life together.

On the partying front, I have no advice...but stick to what you think is right and dont be pressured into anything.

Having been in three relationships at 16-17 ain't so bad. It's this huge secret that no one wants to admit, but a very high percentage of all the dating done in high school is done by a very small percentage of the people. I know lots of people who had no relationships at all in high school.

And here's another secret--pretty much every relationship seems to "end in disaster." Otherwise they wouldn't be ending, right? I mean seriously, how many people look at a breakup and sincerely say, "Man, that just went so WELL?" Until you find The One, they're all mistakes by definition. So don't be too hard on yourself.

mWow, this thread is great and has cheered me up greatly, especially mrnoodle's comment about 10 new friends :). I'm 18 at the moment and at Uni, and can safely say, that with respect to this topic, things aren't going to happen for you unless you make them happen. I have never had a girlfriend (consider yourselves privilged, readers, I dont admit this very often) and I have let many girls slip through my fingers because I haven't had the guts to do anything, afraid of being shot down. But trust me, the risk of being shot down is surely worth taking rather than feeling like an idiot like I do for doing nothing.

Anywho, this summer I have decided to make things happen (nice girl back home who seems to like me :)), but the key (from my youthful perspective) is not to give up and not lose hope, good things can happen in time!

i was and still not a great beauty (short and round to tell the truth) so i was never much in to the dating seen in high school to tell the truth i though it was a horrid messy afair even worse i came from a very small town the school had only 120 student from yr 1 - 10 and every week they all seemed to swaping girl freinds/boy friends any way my point is just enjoy your younger years please don't be in a hurry to grow up all to suddenly life catches up to you. If your friends with a few girls that is great because you will learn more about dating and dealing with girls by being their friend then you ever will in your dating life.

I can't agree more. Most of my friends are girls, and I understand women a lot better than I understand guys, even though I am one. That's not to say I understand women, but I understand them a lot more than I would if I weren't friends with so many.