meeting new people
 

So how exactly does one go about meeting new people? I have no idea where to start or even where to go with this being a fairly new city, but I would like to meet new people, friends and otherwise.

Any ideas?

I normally run around outside naked until the police lock me up. There is nothing better to force you to get to know others than spending 24hrs sharing a tiny space w/ them and absolutely no privacy. Just hope that no one has a serious flatulance problem.

Gee, that helps.

Get a job, meet co-workers.

Join a club, meet others with similar interests.

Join a church, meet others with similar religious background.

Go to bars, meet drunks.

Go online to dating website, meet others for possible romantic encounter.

Have kids? Go to playground, meet other parents; go to nature center programs, meet other parents; go to library story time, meet other parents; etc.

Have a dog? Go to dog park, meet other dog owners.

Take an adult education class on pottery or something, meet others with similar interest.

We aren't good enough for ya?

The puppy in the park routine is a good one. Even if you don't meet anyone, you've got a cute little friend!

I would love a puppy, but he would be alone for most of the day and I don't want to to that to him. I would rather wait until I have a house with a backyard for him to run around in.

I have emailed an art program here to find out about pottery, I really like doing it, too. Even if I don't meet many people, at least it is a stress reliever for me.

No kids, no religion, internet only at work. I do have a job, but there's not many people who I want to hang out with outside of work.
What do you mean by a club??

I have met plenty of drunks at my local bar, but I wanted more than that. Maybe even people my own age. No one that I know from there is near my age, they are all about 10 or more years older. One guy only hangs out in a bar and he's been getting on my nerves badly. The other women all have children that they usually need to worry about first (I say usually because a couple are divorced and don't have kids sometimes)

My biggest problem is that I am shy and the bar helps with that, that is why I spend so much time there (that and I am a closet drunk), but that's not all I like to do, ya know?

And yes, UT, you are good enough, but it doesn't help to take you with me when I want to go to the movies or out to eat - carrying all the equipment for my Desktop is not that easy!

So what else DO you like to do?

Sorry that was the best idea I could come up w/...I went to the same school all through and have known certain ppl since k-garten. Now I go to a community college that is 20 min away from my town and which a large amount of my graduating class are attending...I saw my blue eyed lover-boy (whom which I have never romantically loved) just a few minutes ago. And I ride w/ one of my friends that I've had since 8th grade. Other than that I chat it up with my associates at work and other classmates.

meetup.com maybe?

Well, it can mean pretty much anything.

Here in DC you can join kickball leagues, or softball leagues, you can join hiking clubs, rock climbing clubs, you can join environmental clubs, you can join gardening clubs, I can go on and on, but really there are clubs for many different things. If you are interested in a particular hobby, check out if there are any groups in your area that get together to do that hobby.

Classes are great, especially classes with interaction. Like pottery, woodworking, dancing, beadstringin, basket weaving, etc.

You can also volunteer for stuff that might be relatively popular. Clean up a park, work in a shelter.

Really the best way to meet other people is to do things with them. Share a common goal, and then get to know eachother along the way.

If you go to a public library, it will probably have a bulletin board with listings of groups and organizations that meet. Or just do a google seach for hobbies and your location.

hmm, never heard of meetup.com, I will have to look at it. Man, I really need a new computer and internet access!! Why oh why did I buy the washer and dryer??? And why is it easier for me to pay 1600 for a washer and dryer, but I have a problem spending 1200 on a laptop??

glatt - those are some good ideas. I never knew about clubs like that (I know sad) I am really excited about the pottery class, I just need to save the money. I think I might have enough in my change jar!

My ex husband met his current girlfriend while walking his dog. But, he's a jerk, so, joke's on her.

Bri you just made my weekend with that comment.

I'm pretty sure you're supposed to carry a bunch of packages around the city streets until a dashing stranger bumps into you and spills them all. I think that's when true love happens. i could be wrong

Do things that make people curious. And smile. A lot.

Stop being shy.

And even if you can't stop, quit admitting it. With the right attitude, you won't have to meet people. They'll be meeting you.

Develop a drug habit. Doesn't have to be illegal but that makes the bond all the better.

I have to agree. You can BE shy, but no one else has to know you ARE shy!

I shocked my mother when we threw my sister's baby shower several years ago. We had about 50 people over and I jumped up and took charge of everyone, organizing the activities and making announcements in front of everyone. Mother was FLABBERGASTED! (if you knew how shy I was, you'd be, too)

After everyone left Mom questioned me and asked about the transformation...I told her I may be shy, but the people there didn't know me or know that I was shy. I had nothing to lose so I was the life of the party.

I think my hubby has been a big influence on breaking me out of my shell. We are very secure in our marriage and that security has made me bold. I talk to strangers...at the grocery I'll strike up little conversations with other customers in aisles/lines and with the cashiers and baggers, I'll speak to anyone who asks me questions about my car (a noticeable 'vette).

I'd suggest practicing having small conversations with random people in public places like I mentioned above. You will find that people like a little bit of friendly/funny interaction. I joked the other day with an older man who was having trouble finding the cereal he wanted because of all the brightly colored boxes. I told him it wasn't just him! As you get more comfortable initiating these little social interactions, you can progress to longer conversations. I've found that people like to talk about themselves, so I ask questions and listen.
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I'm a cashier and I find its better to be friendly w/ my customers, I try to remember my regulars, and when I have someone new in I try to make sure I ask how their meal was. Often times I joke w/ customers, I stutter and slur my words alot so I just roll my eyes and say "I know how to talk I swear!" When I first started cashiering it took me along time to get used to it because of my speech impediment but it helped me talk and I'm better at conversing now too. I've become more outgoing at school and in public places and when I go to a restraunt I actually analyze the cashiers performance and compare it to mine and the other cashiers at my store. Basically my point is practice can make a big difference.

I have met the most people (speaking in generic terms, here) by being active in my chosen community. In my case, it is centered around Pagan activities/interests, but not all of those (maybe not even *most*) are actually religious/spiritual activities.

More or less organized groups with some sort of common ground/cause/aspirations are great places to meet people.

Join AA, you'll have more friends than you'll know what to do with....and no free time to worry about anything else. Hell, Dell has new(recon?) PCs for under $500. And since you always have clean clothes, you're always welcome here in the Cellar. :D

THIS.
is how some people meet new people.

OMG! I would have to be sporting one of those 4-hour Cialis erections to go for one of those girls. And even then...

I probably will not be able to sleep tonight because that pic will be in my nightmares. Thanks a lot, more...

music
 

i'm sure you like some kind of music ... and i have found people can connect easily at concerts or small local clubs. or you can hold demonstrations ... candles or even sex demos ... or AA meetings. but they bore me.

I met my husband in a bar in Monte Carlo . I dropped a cigarette and he picked it up for me .

The trouble is that no one is allowed to smoke any more . Perhaps you could try dropping a handkerchief ? Or better still : a hint ?

I'm considering an evening class. I have previously been put off by years of people saying, "Oh why don't you join an evening class, you're bound to meet someone!"

I don't want to meet "someone" necessarily, but it will get me out of the flat one evening a week and give me something to talk about.

I couldn't find anything I was really interested in (wanted to take up Urbane Guerilla's calligraphy suggestion, but nothing available locally). So I have decided to take a starter course in Hindi. Well, why not? Going to take my application form in tomorrow before I change my mind!

I try "Howdy".

See, if I could do that, I wouldn't have this problsm.....I am horribly shy. Probably bordering on that thing that Paxil is for? Oh crap I forget. Shoot. For example, there's this guy I know. Very cool, really doesn't go out that much so if I wanna just hang out, I can go over there. The thing is, I can't make myself call him. I did it once with no problems, but there is just something that embarasses me. I don't know what it is. I think it is a problem with talking on the phone.

Every once in a while, I am great with talking to new people, just striking up a conversation. The problem comes when they say - gimme a call, we'll hang out. I just can't do it. If I do, I am completely red the entire time. :redface:

Meh - I will eventually meet new people, I was just lonely when I started the thread.

I still want to join a pottery class, but haven't had the money yet.

We are very different...

I'm not shy - I can go up to complete strangers and talk to them. But I am very picky.

I have a horror of smalltalk if that's all someone has to offer, and of saying something that just gets a blank look in return because it's gone whistling over the head of the person I'm talking to.

I do attract people, but I can't be friends with someone for the sake of it. We really have to click. I dream one day of opening a door and finding my peer group, all ready and waiting for me for the last 30 odd years. In the mean time I find them scattered about, one by one, and the relief at knowing it's not just me is like walking into a warm room.

I'm not shy, but I'm no prize, either, so meeting new people is problematic for me. As my planned correspondent in my recent foray into a Poly lifestyle has just told me, essentially, that she just wants to be friends (translation: no sex), I need to come to grips with the whole "meeting people" thing.

I've never been 50 and needed to "meet people" before. I face this prospect with a certain amount of trepidation.

Thing is, I don't do smalltalk, puts a lot of people off... that I don't care gives the impression that I am an ass to many. I think they may be right.

Hey I'm the same way RK.

Yes we are. I am different than most well-adjusted people. I realize that it is my own problem that I need to work on. I am actually a lot better than I used to be!! :)

Whoa...WAIT a minute. Well-adjusted people? Where? You mean they exist? ;)


You seem very friendly bbro!

40-ish and starting over from a point of less than zero. I can relate, but after being alone for a bit - that which I dreaded is not so bad after all. I can sit in front of the TV and just click the remote while NOT watching any particular TV show. I can read and practice chess or walk through Lowes for hours. My point is that I am ok being with meand therefore don't mind not engaging in the BS small talk that I am really not interested in anyway. Typically I don't get along with people who want that anyway. Then again maybe I'm just an ass - like rk said. Thats ok with me. I'm ok with who I am.

I think they do - I heard a rumour once.

Thank you! I am friendly, but even online-it takes me a while. I joined in 2004, but didn't start posting until this year! If someone talks to me first, I am fine. It is just starting the conversation.....and following up afterward.

You should see the looks on some people's faces when I tell them I truly am shy. Put me in a room of people I don't know and if no one talks to me, they will all think I am mute. If I know one person there, it is easier for me.

*SIGH* maybe I'll grow out of it at some point. :lol2:

Sorry-couldn't even keep a straight face :D

I'm waiting to grow out of my immaturity...42 years and counting! :)

The small talk can be pretty lame. Sometimes I drift out of my body and watch the conversation while I continue the chit chat... that may not be a sign of good mental health, let's just keep that among us here.:3_eyes:

Once in a while, I find myself "skimming"--someone will be going on about something, and my attention will wander in and out, while I think I'm picking up key words. Sucks, because I always used to consider myself a good listener...I hope the out-of-body thing isn't next! :worried:

I do that too. It's terrible sometimes cause I too think I'm listening, but then get busted for not listening. Most often it's the kids who bust me. I think they're just talking between themselves so pretty much tune out but then I hear the "Muuaaaummm...aren't you LISTENING???!!"

The level of honest concentration on and involvement in the small talk is directly proportionate to one's desire to get laid. The higher your hormone level, the more engaged you are...

"...and then, I brought in the trash can, like, and my dog was all like, woof - he's so cute! - so I put down the trash can and got him a doggie biscuit..."

"Fascinating. Yes, dogs can be very intelligent. I'll bet he was practically telepathing you that he wanted a biscuit. We call them cookies at our house. Say, did anyone ever tell you that you have great tits?"

Maybe that's why I find smalltalk with women pointless.

Anyway.

Update on my evening class situation. Turns out the Hindi class (which I was really beginning to look forward to) is level 1. Level 1 is actually the second level - entry is the first level. Go figure. No entry classes available until September.

So I am doing a 20 lesson course in Mandarin Chinese instead.

Wow - Good luck with that, I am lucky I can speak English and understand people's accents when speaking English!!! I couldn't imagine trying to learn Mandarin Chinese. but in writing this post, learning a new language intrigues me. I wouldn't mind learning Italian.

When everyone goes home tonight I'm going to log onto the BBC Learn Chinese website. See what I'm letting myself in for!

SG, do me a big favor? The first night of class, ask the teacher what the Mandarin phrase is for Mandarin Orange? :D

Again... refuse to participate in small-talk, get your bad-boy on! Gets you laid, it is the short-cut.
As far as why I have no issue with meeting new people, we are all connected and 99.999% the same. The, pathetically, few differences that people like to focus on to separate us are, mostly, meaningless. The few people that I don't like are those who use those minute differences to do harm, all are for petty reasons. I can still converse with them in polite company. Emotions can be controlled, some choose not to.

I have taken another step in getting out & meeting new people - I have signed up for a one day course in Writing a Funny Story. I'm hoping that anyone I meet there will be reasonably articulate with a good sense of humour!

At the very least I'll get some writing tips out of it. Make sure you wear your rubber knickers after February 10th.

Great idea, SG. Looking forward to the gags ... :worried:

No, no, no, no
That's Introduction to Bondage on February 9th....

She's starting already!

All the best, SG. As you well know, I think your writing rocks! :band:

Honestly, if I see someone who looks interesting I walk/roll up to them and say "Howdy I'm Robert, what cha' doin'?" Then I say whatever pops into my head. Sometimes people think I'm nuts, mostly they talk to me... rarely, but sometimes I find someone who I want to stay in touch with. It is pretty simple.

The grocery store is a good place to meet people. Spend some time handling the cucumbers, checking out the bananas, eggplants and squash. Maybe hold a couple of limes while squeezing the cucumber.

Hmmm... Just an idea. :cool:

May I ask, for those who are weird about meeting new people... what is your thought process? What do you think is going to happen, or what do you think they will do that you are apprehensive about?
I am just curious, I am not judgmental about this at all.

One of our local supermarkets had a singles night.

Yes? and? Was it a success? Will they have another one? You can't just leave that there ....

Yes, it worked. I don't think it's done any longer. at least they don't have a specific event listing for it on their website. But they are sure to let you know that Senior Discount day is Tuesdays.

(This ended up being a long reply. I hope I don’t sound defensive, I’m just trying to be precise. Skip to the end for the precis)

I don't think I'm weird about meeting new people. It’s simply that I do not get to meet new people in a setting where I can judge whether I want to get to know them better.

I don't fake interest very well and I get tired of people who talk just to make a noise. If I just walked up to people in the street and introduced myself, I would probably find they didn't interest me enough to pursue a friendship. For example going to the hairdressers is quite distressing for me. Pinned in a chair for a couple of hours being talked at by someone who says things like, "Oh I loved reading when I was little, but all the books they make you read in school put me off...."

It works the other way too, in case you think I'm giving myself airs. When I was working nights at a supermarket I so often heard, "Don't you have some funny ideas?" (funny peculiar) even though I got on superficially with all my colleagues. I also hear, "You think too much" or simply, sadly, "You're very odd aren't you?" My friends don't think this, but strangers often do.

So I get up, work, go home, sleep. Repeat x 365
Well, okay - there's a bit more to it, but not much.
I do have friends, but they live in other cities.
I get on well with the people I work with in both my jobs, and we go out occasionally, but not enough that I would term them friends. I made two really good friends since moving here - one I have fallen out with (my fault I suspect) and the other emigrated - sob!

Therefore I have to look for opportunities to meet people and I have to be willing to go on my own. Those of you with groups of friends, partners, families, children probably don't remember what is was not knowing anyone outside your workplace. I'm stand-offish, but I'm not shy - it's the opportunities I need, not the confidence.

I have tried in the past. I went on a series of “sort of” dates when I lived in London. It was via a website that was more about meeting and socialising than dating (I seem to remember there was a free cinema pass involved as well). Out of all the people I met from there I only saw two of them more than once, and even then I had a rather grim “this is for my own good” approach to going out with them. They seemed to enjoy my company but in the end I decided I couldn’t be bothered when we had so little in common.

The above makes me sound very cold & calculating, trust me – when I like someone I am perfectly normal and enjoy their company immensely. I’m also a good friend! One of my non-Leicester friends has been part of my life for 22 years now (ouch, I’m old) and another for 20. The friend who ran away to Africa will probably still be my friend in 20 years time too.

So there you go. The bottom line is I’m very picky and have no-one to make introductions for me.

You don't want the work people to introduce you to others? You don't have enough in common with them? Well I'd be glad to introduce you to some people around here (Philly) but that wouldn't do you any good, would it? Sorry :(