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-   -   The Landshark Thread (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=28617)

infinite monkey 02-07-2013 03:40 PM

The Landshark Thread
 
1 Attachment(s)
http://www.cellar.org/showthread.php?t=7734

Post your landshark interpretation here! I'll start with the original landshark.

[Scene: Interior. A New York apartment. There is a knock at the door.]
Woman: [speaking through closed door] Yes?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?
Woman: Who?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr?
Woman: Who is it?
Voice: [pause] Flowers.
Woman: Flowers for whom?
Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma'am.
Woman: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?
Voice: [pause] Candygram.
Woman: Candygram, my foot! You get out of here before I call the police! You're the shark, and you know it!
Voice: Wait. I-I'm only a dolphin, ma'am.
Woman: A dolphin? Well... Okay. [opens door]
[Huge latex and foam-rubber shark head lunges through open door, chomps down on woman's head, and drags her out of the apartment, as Jaws attack music plays.]

footfootfoot 02-07-2013 04:00 PM

I loved landshark. i have no idea what you want me to write though.

Gravdigr 02-07-2013 04:03 PM

Quote:

It's Grandma.

Gravdigr 02-07-2013 04:04 PM

Quote:

Laaaaandshaaaaark.

infinite monkey 02-07-2013 05:28 PM

Well, that beer chart, for instance, pointed to Landshark beer for parrotheads, and google images is chockful of interesting pictures. Or you could write a poem. Or draw one. Or knap one!

toranokaze 02-07-2013 11:25 PM

I thought I wasn't supposed to drink and post

footfootfoot 02-07-2013 11:39 PM

Rules were meant to be broken.

lumberjim 02-08-2013 12:27 AM

http://www.thefancydressbox.co.uk/images/047a.jpg

Land ..... Dolphin

footfootfoot 02-08-2013 06:41 AM

I'm not 100% sure I 'get' furries.

Maybe the Scottish Squirrel

http://www.cellar.org/attachment.php...1&d=1359850404

infinite monkey 02-08-2013 08:08 AM

Hark! Hark!
Is that the landshark?
Knocking on my door is he wanting more
Flesh?

The peephole doesn't help people
Distinguish between dolphin and shark
Is it a harmless mammal
Or a fish knocking on doors in the dark?

Don't! Stop!
Don't open that door!
And don't go into that basement
It's full of monsters galore. At least FOUR!

And also don't move to Amityville.

infinite monkey 02-08-2013 10:00 AM

I have always depended on the cleverness of strangers. :eyebrow:

Oh wait, that must be somewhere else. :rolleyes:

No shark snark. I am disappoint.

Come on, all the cool kids are doing it. I am, and I AM the cool kid.

You coulda been a contender. You coulda been somebody, instead of a bum-sitter, which is what you are, let's face it. (Get it? Huh? Waterfront? Shark?)

I won't be here all week, but eat something!

xoxoxoBruce 02-08-2013 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot (Post 851857)
I'm not 100% sure I 'get' furries.

It saves a paper bag. ;)

toranokaze 02-11-2013 01:03 AM

What is not to get it is having sex as an animal

footfootfoot 02-11-2013 09:08 AM

Having sex with an animal?

Sundae 02-11-2013 09:31 AM

Wait, if I squirell things away does that makes me Michelle Gomez?


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