I'm not shy - I can go up to complete strangers and talk to them. But I am very picky.

I have a horror of smalltalk if that's all someone has to offer, and of saying something that just gets a blank look in return because it's gone whistling over the head of the person I'm talking to.

I do attract people, but I can't be friends with someone for the sake of it. We really have to click. I dream one day of opening a door and finding my peer group, all ready and waiting for me for the last 30 odd years. In the mean time I find them scattered about, one by one, and the relief at knowing it's not just me is like walking into a warm room.

I'm not shy, but I'm no prize, either, so meeting new people is problematic for me. As my planned correspondent in my recent foray into a Poly lifestyle has just told me, essentially, that she just wants to be friends (translation: no sex), I need to come to grips with the whole "meeting people" thing.

I've never been 50 and needed to "meet people" before. I face this prospect with a certain amount of trepidation.

Thing is, I don't do smalltalk, puts a lot of people off... that I don't care gives the impression that I am an ass to many. I think they may be right.

Hey I'm the same way RK.

Yes we are. I am different than most well-adjusted people. I realize that it is my own problem that I need to work on. I am actually a lot better than I used to be!! :)

Whoa...WAIT a minute. Well-adjusted people? Where? You mean they exist? ;)


You seem very friendly bbro!

40-ish and starting over from a point of less than zero. I can relate, but after being alone for a bit - that which I dreaded is not so bad after all. I can sit in front of the TV and just click the remote while NOT watching any particular TV show. I can read and practice chess or walk through Lowes for hours. My point is that I am ok being with meand therefore don't mind not engaging in the BS small talk that I am really not interested in anyway. Typically I don't get along with people who want that anyway. Then again maybe I'm just an ass - like rk said. Thats ok with me. I'm ok with who I am.

I think they do - I heard a rumour once.

Thank you! I am friendly, but even online-it takes me a while. I joined in 2004, but didn't start posting until this year! If someone talks to me first, I am fine. It is just starting the conversation.....and following up afterward.

You should see the looks on some people's faces when I tell them I truly am shy. Put me in a room of people I don't know and if no one talks to me, they will all think I am mute. If I know one person there, it is easier for me.

*SIGH* maybe I'll grow out of it at some point. :lol2:

Sorry-couldn't even keep a straight face :D

I'm waiting to grow out of my immaturity...42 years and counting! :)

The small talk can be pretty lame. Sometimes I drift out of my body and watch the conversation while I continue the chit chat... that may not be a sign of good mental health, let's just keep that among us here.:3_eyes:

Once in a while, I find myself "skimming"--someone will be going on about something, and my attention will wander in and out, while I think I'm picking up key words. Sucks, because I always used to consider myself a good listener...I hope the out-of-body thing isn't next! :worried:

I do that too. It's terrible sometimes cause I too think I'm listening, but then get busted for not listening. Most often it's the kids who bust me. I think they're just talking between themselves so pretty much tune out but then I hear the "Muuaaaummm...aren't you LISTENING???!!"

The level of honest concentration on and involvement in the small talk is directly proportionate to one's desire to get laid. The higher your hormone level, the more engaged you are...

"...and then, I brought in the trash can, like, and my dog was all like, woof - he's so cute! - so I put down the trash can and got him a doggie biscuit..."

"Fascinating. Yes, dogs can be very intelligent. I'll bet he was practically telepathing you that he wanted a biscuit. We call them cookies at our house. Say, did anyone ever tell you that you have great tits?"

Maybe that's why I find smalltalk with women pointless.

Anyway.

Update on my evening class situation. Turns out the Hindi class (which I was really beginning to look forward to) is level 1. Level 1 is actually the second level - entry is the first level. Go figure. No entry classes available until September.

So I am doing a 20 lesson course in Mandarin Chinese instead.

Wow - Good luck with that, I am lucky I can speak English and understand people's accents when speaking English!!! I couldn't imagine trying to learn Mandarin Chinese. but in writing this post, learning a new language intrigues me. I wouldn't mind learning Italian.