Colin the abandoned Humpback Whale
 

Colin, the name given to the baby Humpback Whale that has been trying to suckle boats in Sydney's Pittwater is breaking hearts and raising tempers around Australia.

Some claim he should be put down, others that we should try and feed him with a teat and cows milk.

The Environmental Group have been towing Colin out to sea to hope that he will be adopted, but he keeps coming back into the shallow waters and trying to suckle boats.

A dairy farmer and a marine expert have built contraptions that they hope might allow Colin to feed from, experts are unwilling to let them try in case they *harm* him.

I cant stand the thought of him starving to death, but what happens if we successfully feed him?? How do we keep it up, adjust to his demands as Mum's milk would...wean him and teach him to hunt krill??

If it was just a case of keeping him strong and alive until a pod adopted him, I would be up there myself, holding the funel and pouring the milk. By the marks on his body, looks like he has had a rough trot.


The softy in me says DO IT!! Lets make it up as we go along, keep him alive and feed him, try and introduce him to passing pods.

Then again, I got in trouble on turtle island for helping baby turtles to the ocean, rather than letting mother nature do her thang.

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I'm a sucker for an animal suffering.
I walked about half a mile last night trying to get Hely to stop following me (she has taken to hanging about outside work waiting for me to leave. In the end I took her back to HM's house.

I just kept thinking, "She loves me, she wants to be with me, she thinks I don't love her!" And I'm pretty sure cats' minds aren't wired that way.

So I'm with you Ducks. I say - try it, try it!
We can only learn from it, right?
If the animal starts visibly suffering, death is another option.

Yes, yes! Fatten it up!

I think they should do what they can to help the whale. There are few enough of them in the world to let it die if it could be saved. I want to know where fucking greenpeace and steve irwin are! Shouldn't they be out there flopping their tits out or something?

Ducks, about the turtles, did you know that if they don't imprint the beach they're born on into their minds as they make their way to the water, they'll never be able to find it to nest on? Sad but true. If you pop the poor little darlings into the water, and they happen to be one of the lucky 1% that survives to procreate, if they don't have that embedded memory, they're destined to a life of sailing the high seas, never finding their port.

steve is taking a dirtnap

or a waternap as the case may be...

Can't we just sell the thing to the Japanese as a sort of "Scientific Research" "Whale Veal Cutlet" thing and be done with it?

Just asking.

Suppose we feed it. Suppose it lives. Suppose it grows up.
It is trying to suckle from boats. It thinks boats are female whales.
Suppose in a few years time you are out in your five-meter half-cabin cruiser enjoying a bit of fishing when a randy perverted humpback (oooh, humpback, teeheeheee) whale start rubbing against your boat. And rubbing...and rubbing .... getting more intense now....

This could be great for tourism. Or we might need to introduce a new distress call, because "Help, my boat is being raped by a perverted whale!" takes too long to scream, and you'd keep breaking down with the giggles.

CLIVE: I'd like to see every endangered species wiped off the fucking face of the Earth.

DEREK: Yeah.

CLIVE: People go, they're all moaning on, they say whales are more intelligent than human beings.

DEREK: Yeah.

CLIVE: Are they? Do you think whales and dolphins are more intelligent than human beings?

DEREK: Oh yeah.

CLIVE: Why?

DEREK: Says so.

CLIVE: Yeah, but they're not. Whales are fucking stupid. Can you mention one whale in the history of mankind that has had a record in the top ten? Can you? Can you mention one whale who's written the equivalent of, er, 'Othello', Shakespeare, 'Health & Efficiency'? They've produced nothing in the way of literature. All they've fucking produced is a load of other whales and all they eat is fucking plankton, and they call them intelligent. Can you imagine drifting along in the sea with your mouth open and a lot of fucking plankton going in?

DEREK: Yeah, I can imagine that.

CLIVE: You'd like it, would you, just drifting around in the sea? And you can't-, they're such cunts they can't even breathe underwater. They have to keep coming up the whole fucking time and spouting. Then some cunt comes on telly and he says, "Oh, the whale is being wiped out by mankind, save the fucking whales." Well! During the war, did we notice a lot of whales w-, rallying round and saying, "Save England!" I didn't notice many down my part of the world.

DEREK: Oh, fucking-

CLIVE: I didn't see whales coming up with Union Jacks saying, "We'll fight the Boche". No, they were doing fucking all .....

DEREK: No, 'cause they .....

CLIVE: ..... swimming around the fucking sea sucking fucking plankton down!

DEREK: The whales were all Nazis!

CLIVE: They call that fucking- ..... wha-

DEREK: They were at the Nuremberg rallies, mate. They were all whales.

CLIVE: What, they were tried .....

DEREK: They were whales!

CLIVE: ..... at the Nuremberg trial?

DEREK: No, they were whales at the rallies. Hitler-, Hitler was talking to whales.

CLIVE: Well, that doesn't make them more intelligent 'cause, er, Hitler lost, didn't he?

But the boat named after him isn't. And his 'wildlife warriors' are still about making trouble for all the wrong reasons.

The second half of the video gets even funnier.

Mmmm...baby animal meat...nom nom nom

Colin had a visit from a 'whale whisperer' today. An aboriginal man who apparently has the gift of talking to whales. He's going back tomorrow to try and coax Colin out to the wide blue sea.

After they tried to take him out to sea this morning, sharks tried to attack him (fairly normal) so they brought him back into the harbour and they're going to put him to sleep.

Poor colin.

And Australia is looking to lynch the deciders.

I cried, she still looked like she had a lot of fight in her ....for a whale that was supposedly knocking on heavens door.