Rank these insults/affectionate names
 

[CillaBlack]And tell us where you come from, chuck[/CillaBlack]

A) knob
B) cock
C) dick
D) knobhead
E) cockhead
F) dickhead

Also.... which is the worst word -Crap or Shit?

Define worst.

One you'd least expect/accept a kid using.

The worst word is fuck, unless you're a woman, then it's cunt. Crap is not really a bad word.

My opinion, worst first:
cock
dick
cockhead
dickhead
knob
knobhead

cunt is not a bad word. It's a rather good word.

comes from country, don't you know.

fuck is an EXCELLENT word.

worst word? Hopeless.

By Shakespeare's day, the word seems to have become obscene. Although Shakespeare does not use the word explicitly (or with derogatory meaning) in his plays, he still plays with it, using wordplay to sneak it in obliquely. In Act III, Scene 2, of Hamlet, as the castle's residents are settling in to watch the play-within-the-play, Hamlet asks Ophelia, "Lady, shall I lie in your lap?" Ophelia replies, "No, my lord." Hamlet, feigning shock, says, "Do you think I meant country matters?" Then, to drive home the point that the accent is definitely on the first syllable of country, Shakespeare has Hamlet say, "That's a fair thought, to lie between maids' legs."[25] In Twelfth Night (Act II, Scene V) the puritanical Malvolio believes he recognises his employer's handwriting in an anonymous letter, commenting "There be her very Cs, her Us, and her Ts: and thus makes she her great Ps", creating an unwitting pun on "cunt" and "pee".[26] As Pauline Kiernan writes, Shakespeare ridicules "prissy puritanical party-poopers" by having "a Puritan spell out the word 'cunt' on a public stage".[27] A related scene occurs in Henry V: when Katherine is learning English, she is appalled at the "gros, et impudique" words "foot" and "gown", which her teacher has mispronounced as "coun". It is usually argued that Shakespeare intends to suggest that she has misheard "foot" as "foutre" (French, "fuck") and "coun" as "con" (French "cunt", also used to mean "idiot").[28] Similarly John Donne alludes to the obscene meaning of the word without being explicit in his poem The Good-Morrow, referring to sucking on "country pleasures".

The 1675 Restoration comedy The Country Wife also features such word play, even in its title. from Wikipedia

I know that Brits consider these reversed from what we do (crap is a kid word, shit is a real swear word,) but is crap bad enough to get bleeped on British TV? They say shit all the time, but they do bleep fuck.

I've used "crap" in front of my kids in an actual elementary school to describe the cheap plastic trinkets from China they were trying to pass out at the school fun fair. My wife gave me a look, but I don't know if that's because I was criticizing the crap the kids wanted to bring home in bulk, or because the word itself is offensive.

Or because you are the husband, and therefore wrong.

I had no idea that crap actually meant excrement until I was about 10. We used it all the time for something bad, poor, shoddy etc as per Glatt.
Shit was a Very Bad Word. I've trained myself to say Shoot now, even when I'm not at school, so it doesn't slip out accidentally. As it were.

British TV doesn't bleep fuck. If a programme has the word in, it's broadcast after the watershed (21.00) in which case the fuck is kept in. It's possible British programmes shown in America bleep it I suppose (BBC America maybe?)

All are acceptable with BFF. With acquaintances and strangers, not so much. ;)

I don't think cunt and country are actually related as words. Though that is probably my favourite piece of wordplay in Shakespeare's plays.

Yeah, it must be BBC America bleeping it, even though they don't bleep the word shit. I'm thinking of the Graham Norton Show, specifically. It's weird because American rules tend to be all or nothing; either the show swears, with shit and fuck and everything else you can think of, or it bleeps everything. But now that I think about it, all our episodes of Graham Norton are recorded--so it's possible that some are mid-day reruns, and maybe they're bleeping those episodes but not the ones that broadcast at night.

Some American programmes we get bleep shit but not bitch.
Huh?

One of the "leaving murals" on the school wall painted by our 8th graders has the word crap in it. I was kind of surprised.