A poem...
 

If I'm one of your least favorite people, don't even bother reading this, because I really can't deal with any more right now. I'm serious. Say, "hey, nice meter, nice rhyme," or "dude, that sucks ass," or "why is your poetry so fucking depressing?" or whatever...I can deal with that, because I really only write for myself. But I truly can't take anymore shit about whining or whatever, cause I'm feeling more desolate and hopeless than I've ever felt in my life ....

I only write poetry when I'm severely depressed, so don't expect anything warm and fuzzy...My life is about as low as it can get right now, and even though the poetry doesn't make it all better or relieve the pain, it at least gets it out a little, you know?...And maybe it can make someone who's feeling the same way feel a little better knowing that they're not alone....

Sidhe


I WAS WRONG

There's no such thing as "love" or "us,"
"Forever" is a lie--
A happy start, then finding fault, and finally,
"goodbye."

It sucks you dry, it breaks your heart,
It rips your soul to shreds-
then lays the blame upon your feet, until
you wish that you were dead.

And there you sit, an empty husk,
with nothing left to give-
crying seas of tears and blood, and
seeking a reason to live.

"It's over" echoes in your mind,
as you stare at the remnants of your trust
lying shattered in a pile,
thrown to mingle with the dust.

"Goodbye" rings sweetly in his ears,
already you're forgotten-
A piece of garbage swept away,
flawed and old and rotten.

So never trust, and never love
and never give your heart away-
'Tis better if you never love, for
Oh! The price that you will pay!

The photographs twist in your heart,
the memories twist it more-
The Dagger of What Could Have Been
and What Had Gone Before.

The price of You, Yourself, your Trust,
your Love and Faith and Heart-
for words are only that--just words--
and they'll tear your Soul apart.

What is meant is never said,
what's said is never meant-
Hear me now, and listen close--
"I love you, need you" is the hint.

Do not believe the sweetened words,
the tears, the desperate hug-
For all the promises are empty
and the Grave's already dug.

So heed the voice of one who knows,
Of one who gave her Life
because she Loved, because she Hoped,
Whose Heart has felt The Knife.


Angelia Bernard
LadySidhe
24 May 2005

TS, could you kindly let us know that you're alright?

Wait a minute....I pour the unendurable pain of my soul :bawling: out in a poem, and you're asking if HE'S ok? :eyebrow: :confused:


Next time, try an IM, cause that's cold-hearted, Syc. Really.

See my post in Technology, I'm sill here,

Hey, Sidhe, I need a small favor from you.

Could you go whine at someone that actually gives a fuck? Appreciate it!

Bite my ass, Sycamore. You don't like my posts, don't read 'em. It's not rocket science....hmmm...well, maybe for you....

LS, you asked for criticism on a poem in which you poured out your soul. You set yourself up for it.

Okay, I am not going to delete that post, but I am going to apologize. I understand that you were reaching out and wanted to connect with your grief somehow. I posted without thinking first, so please just forgive me for doing so.

But I am going to say one thing: If you don't want people to attack you or insult you, you should try not coming off so antagonizingly...like in your other posts.

Actually, I rather like the poem. This kind of self expression seems to flow more naturally and it becomes you much better than your debating style.

I'll leave this thread alone, now.

Great poem. I almost shed a tear, myself.

Thanks, case....I think... :eyebrow: *grin*


I can handle it if someone tells me that my poetry sucks. That's not the problem. But Syc doesn't like me for some ancient reason, and what he posted was just mean for no reason.

I may be aggressive when I debate...I can't help that, and I try not to attack people personally, even when I don't agree with their opinions. If I have made some people feel attacked, I apologize. That wasn't my intent. I don't take attacks on my opinion personally, and I forget that everyone doesn't feel the same way.

However, I would NEVER, and have never, been cruel to anyone who was having a bad time. EVER. Nor would I. That's just rubbing salt in a wound, and it's wrong, any way you look at it.

He could've said, "that poem SUCKS." I would've said, "Thanks for the input.... Next?" That's giving an opinion on the work itself. Instead, he gave an opinion on ME, that was unprovoked and uncalled-for and he doesn't even KNOW me.

If there is one thing you've shown during your time here is that you're a drama queen who can't take the heat, but will take pot shots at her husband. So, how about you pour yourself a heaping bowl of Shut Your Fucking Piehole Bitch and suck it?

You've always seemed a bit unstable, so I was checking on your husband. Oh, I'm sorry...are we supposed to be hating on TS right now? My bad...you fucking idiot.

YOW.

sycamore, you heartless fuck.

LS, i know i rank right up there with your 'haters' in your mind.

i can put that aside if you can. i feel for you. we dont have to choose sides to empathize with you. the specifics of your issues with ts are irrelevant. i'm sorry you;re feeling bad right now.

as for the poem.....if it expresses what you feel, and helps to congeal that vague burning in your stomach in to something you can deal with, then it's great. the thing with poetry is that you have to be in a similar state as the author to apreciate it properly. i will argue with the sentiment, however.

there IS such a thing as love and us, and forever is possible.

a snippit from a song:

"hey, my love, do you believe that we might last a thousand years if not for this flesh and blood?"

i do.

it may just be that you haven't found 'him/her' yet. learn to love yourself again, grasshopper. the rest will follow.

feel better......and have some chocolate.

I'm really sorry you're depressed Sidhe, and that things aren't going well for you right now.

But it's really awkward and uncomfortable (for me at least) when you post such intimate things about your relationship when your husband is also on this board. I know you've done it before, and it appears TS doesn't really have a problem with it. But it makes me queasy. :(

You write for yourself and posting doesn't help(you) but there might be a kidred spirit that will read it, understand it and be reasured by it?
At least that's what I got from the post. But, I wonder why you posted it in the Cellar rather than somewhere else? You've been away for a while so I assume there is a somewhere else(site) you've been hanging out.
I suppose there aren't many places you could post that without a flame retardant suit except maybe poetry sites with their attendant women and sensitive guys. :haha:

Now the poem itself, well done, basic gut level emotions everyone has felt to some degree at least once.
I can identify with the feelings. Might be the beginnings of a hit song.... blues or country.......it'd sell a lot of beer. ;)

Shoot--I didn't even know you and TS were married! :smack:
It's ok, LS. You know I feel a similar angst. We should get over it together and be better people and live a better life whatever may come along. Currently I am working on a spell to make fleas infest his pubic hair--I'll let you know if it works! Depression is anger turned inward. Don't get depressed, get even!*

*Or take the high road and be noble. Me, I'm incapable of it, but that's just where I am right now.