TW are you allowed to be funny for more than one day a year?
Because that really cracked me up. Again.

Chris - stop being so handsome.
I'd hate to have to wrestle your wife in the old-fashioned Highland way, bare-breasted and each carrying an 8lb baby...

And UT :shock:
I don't know if groundhogs are good animals or bad animals (bad = pest, and/ or bitey) but the sad little drag marks on the pavement make me want to cry.

Put a sign next to it. "Groundhog $10" and someone will pick it up and bring it into the shop to try to pawn it.

Oh don't be sad Sundae! Those aren't drag marks.

Those are blood trails. It bled out in the warm afternoon sun.

we have turkey vultures out in the country to handle that kind of thing.

I think we should take bets on the removal date

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Bambi's Mum. Then Hazel. Now an un-named groundhog.

or $70 and accept no less than $60

Stage a major scene: someone comes in and offers 40 for the groundhog. You firmly say 'no less than 60' and you banter a while.

THEN, out of nowhere, start screaming and frothing at the mouth. Go outside and pick up the groundhog and start trying to rip it to shreds, beat it against the nearest car, screaming and ranting the whole time, wave it in stranger's faces repeating 'what is this worth what is this worth what is this worth" like some groundhog-oriented Dan Rather mugger.

It'd be a great exit, you must admit.

On Lincoln Drive, there's a median barrier that keeps flotsam and jetsam from rolling down the hill and off the other side of the road. Leaves, twigs, etc. often build up right at the edge.

When the flotsam includes a dead animal, it's usually there for days, if not weeks.

Nice use of the word flotsam.

I txted the shop, and the hog is gone.

Sammy said "Probably on someone's grill."

Eeewwwww. If it'd been cleaned right away, maybe ... but bleeding out all afternoon and then lying in the heat?
Hopefully not on someone's grill.

Off to the woods pawn shop for to catch a groundhog.
Oh, groundhog.
Run here Sally with a ten foot pole, (repeat)
To twist that whistle-pig out of his hole.
Oh, groundhog.
Here comes Sal with a snicker and a grin, (repeat)
Groundhog gravy all over her chin.
Oh, groundhog.
Look at them fellers, they're a-goin' wild, (repeat)
Eat that hog before he's cooked or biled.
Oh, groundhog.
I dug down but I didn't dig deep, (repeat)
There laid a whistle-pig fast asleep.
Oh, groundhog.
Now the meat's in the cupboard and the butter's in the churn, (repeat)
If that ain't groundhog I'll be derned.
Oh, groundhog.
Well you eat the meat and save the hide, (repeat)
Make the best shoestring ever was tied.
Oh, groundhog.
Look at them fellers, they're about to fall, (repeat)
Eat till their britches won't button at all.
Oh, groundhog.
Little piece of cornbread a-layin' on the shelf, (repeat)
If you want any more, you can sing it yerself.
Oh, groundhog

I started changing more stuff but it got pretty racist feeling.

Bleurgh. Philly is dirty and dysfunctional, but I'm sure the Streets Department took care of poor ol' Mr. Groundhog. I hope they did, anyway... :worried:

Probably a team of rats

Do Philly rats wear safety vests for that kind of operation? That's a straw hat job around here.