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-   -   Do You Have Children? (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=32628)

monster 03-12-2017 09:25 PM

Do You Have Children?
 
Not posted in parenting because duh....

Curious. Seems to me there are a lot of ?voluntarily childless adults on this forum and I wondered how that compared to real-world stats (still working on a reliable source for those)

....and if there are more than population average, I wonder if it's because personality or life experience makes non-parents more likely to use online forums, or they just have more time.....?

xoxoxoBruce 03-12-2017 09:37 PM

Fuck no, rug rats are the bane of society.

Clodfobble 03-13-2017 12:13 AM

Stepkids are more age-related. Very few 40-year-olds have a biological baby, but it's never too late to add a stepkid to the mix. So if the forum skews older (which I can't prove but I feel like it does,) then I bet it skews more toward stepkids than the general population, too.

Griff 03-13-2017 06:17 AM

To be fair we were younger when we snuck into the cellar.

glatt 03-13-2017 08:11 AM

I can currently say I have kids, but in three years, poof. They will be adults.

damn

BigV 03-13-2017 08:33 AM

And, still your kids.

BigV 03-13-2017 08:35 AM

biological children, step children, I'm a dutch uncle and a godfather. And Twil's kids call me Dad, making me in loco parentis, right?

Pico and ME 03-13-2017 09:54 AM

It just didn't happen for me. I've been a strange duck all my life and never ever heard the clock ticking. I was more afraid of accidentally getting pregnant while single. DID NOT want to live life as a single Mom. Plus, I didn't get married until I was 40 and he was 'fixed", so there's that. He did have two boys, so it wasn't like we were childless. He did ask me early on in the marriage if I would like him to get it reversed, so that we could have a child together. I just thought it was too late for me to get pregnant (and was still secretly worried that I would end up raising it alone sometime in the future, anyway.)

limey 03-13-2017 01:52 PM

Never really wanted them. Don't regret not having them. Too late now (tubes tied, and now I'm an old :crone: too!).
Far far too scary to send anyone I care about out into the future, too, tbh.

glatt 03-13-2017 02:40 PM

I can clearly see both paths.

I have kids, and am glad I do, but I'd be happy without kids too. I'd be doing different stuff, I think.

Kids are gonna be gone soon anyway, so I should get used to the idea of it just being me and Mrs glatt. Without kids, you get to focus on yourself more. Instead of having all your energy and time going in to the kid thing.

Plus vacations in the off season rock! My wife needs to transition out of teaching so we can do that again.

Gravdigr 03-13-2017 03:06 PM

I have no children. By choice. By many, conscious, purposeful choices.

fargon 03-13-2017 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gravdigr (Post 984187)
I have no children. By choice. By many, conscious, purposeful choices.

Me Too.

monster 03-13-2017 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt (Post 984158)
I can currently say I have kids, but in three years, poof. They will be adults.

damn

In a month, 2/3 of my kids will be adults :eek:

Pi 03-14-2017 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt (Post 984186)
I can clearly see both paths.

I have kids, and am glad I do, but I'd be happy without kids too. I'd be doing different stuff, I think.

Kids are gonna be gone soon anyway, so I should get used to the idea of it just being me and Mrs glatt. Without kids, you get to focus on yourself more. Instead of having all your energy and time going in to the kid thing.

Plus vacations in the off season rock! My wife needs to transition out of teaching so we can do that again.

Absolutely my situation too! But the little one's only 3,5yo, so I'm focusing a lot on projects I like to do and hoping she will pick up my interests by dragging her along ;-)

Undertoad 03-14-2017 08:47 AM

I was married to a person who was incapable of feeling emotions. She kind of knew she had no soul, and decided she didn't want to have kids.

Good choice. It's bad to have a mother without a soul.

She would have forced them to reflect her perfectionism. They would have had eating disorders and painful anxiety at the minimum.

bbro 03-14-2017 10:12 AM

I am multiple right now. I don't have kids. I don't think I want kids, but being perpetually single, I don't know if that will change if I meet someone soon. I doubt it, but it's a possibility. Besides - only 3 years left until I'm 40 and then, regardless, these tubes are getting tied.

Charise Chisolm 03-22-2017 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bbro (Post 984262)
I am multiple right now. I don't have kids. I don't think I want kids, but being perpetually single, I don't know if that will change if I meet someone soon. I doubt it, but it's a possibility. Besides - only 3 years left until I'm 40 and then, regardless, these tubes are getting tied.

Same here. I may be just 23, but I really don't want kids and I can't see myself having any. Maybe, just maybe, if I do meet someone this might happen, but honestly if at any point in the future I will feel the desire to have kids I'd rather adopt.

Clodfobble 03-22-2017 11:49 PM

That'll change.

Not whether you'll want kids, you may or may not. Lots of people don't. But "if at any point" in the future you do want kids, I promise on a stack of Bibles that the kids you will want will be your own. The whole biological impulse is around the fact that they're yours. If you have the impulse, you have the whole impulse, not just an intellectualized morally superior version of the impulse.

xoxoxoBruce 03-23-2017 12:59 AM

SPAM

Gravdigr 03-23-2017 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble (Post 984899)
That'll change.

Not whether you'll want kids, you may or may not. Lots of people don't. But "if at any point" in the future you do want kids, I promise on a stack of Bibles that the kids you will want will be your own. The whole biological impulse is around the fact that they're yours. If you have the impulse, you have the whole impulse, not just an intellectualized morally superior version of the impulse.

Why not?

Perhaps she doesn't want to give birth, or carry a child.

Perhaps she can't give birth, or get pregnant, or carry a child.

There has to be more reasons to have that 'version of the impulse' than I could even come up with, being a guy and all.

Maybe she's a guy. If she doesn't have the gear to produce children, is her impulse still an "intellectualized, morally superior version of the impulse"?

Maybe she's adopted, and wants to pay it forward, so to speak.

My aunt, who was adopted, couldn't have children, and would love to have had her own, but, she has fostered literally dozens of children. She didn't adopt any of them, but all but six chose to stay with her through adulthood. And they still treat her like their mother.

There has to be many, many reasons for one to have that "intellectualized morally superior version of the impulse".

Has to be.

BigV 03-23-2017 02:56 PM

You can marry into kids too. I had two stepkids for five years before I had a biological child.

Not saying I carried and delivered the child when I say 'I had'.. Duh.

Clodfobble 03-23-2017 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gravdigr
Perhaps she doesn't want to give birth, or carry a child.

Perhaps she can't give birth, or get pregnant, or carry a child.

There has to be more reasons to have that 'version of the impulse' than I could even come up with, being a guy and all.

Maybe she's a guy. If she doesn't have the gear to produce children, is her impulse still an "intellectualized, morally superior version of the impulse"?

Maybe she's adopted, and wants to pay it forward, so to speak.

My aunt, who was adopted, couldn't have children, and would love to have had her own, but, she has fostered literally dozens of children. She didn't adopt any of them, but all but six chose to stay with her through adulthood. And they still treat her like their mother.

There has to be many, many reasons for one to have that "intellectualized morally superior version of the impulse".

Has to be.


Except she very clearly said, "I really don't want kids."

You're right, she might be a dude, but Charise is a woman's name, so I took that at face value. I could be wrong, sure, about all of it. I got a vibe, is all. The "I don't want kids, but if I did I'd be a better person about it than all you people who do want kids" is fairly common among 23-year-old women. And young gay men, for that matter. The kind of people who refer to people with kids as "breeders."

And like I said, it's totally cool if she doesn't want kids. And it's totally cool if she changes her mind. Life's going to happen to her, one way or the other, so whatever.

Gravdigr 03-23-2017 04:05 PM

You're a very quick judger.

Clodfobble 03-24-2017 06:54 AM

Perhaps it's because women receive more comments about the "right" way to have kids than childless men do. It's a whole thing.

BigV 03-24-2017 09:57 AM

Not a woman thing, in general, but I see you edited your signature. . How come?

Clodfobble 03-24-2017 06:22 PM

Paying very close attention there... :) It was just because I haven't updated it in almost a year, and I don't foresee doing so within the next year, if ever. It pays for its own hosting fees, so I'll keep it alive, but I don't have time to take and edit pictures anymore. I have a book to finish writing.

BigV 03-26-2017 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble (Post 985038)
Paying very close attention there... :) It was just because I haven't updated it in almost a year, and I don't foresee doing so within the next year, if ever. It pays for its own hosting fees, so I'll keep it alive, but I don't have time to take and edit pictures anymore. I have a book to finish writing.

I see, this makes me happy! WTG, Clod!

xoxoxoBruce 03-26-2017 11:26 PM

Ghost writers in the sky.
Write 'em up, print 'em out.
Write 'em up, print 'em out.
Write 'em up, print 'em out.
Move on to fame, MS hide.
Ghost writers in the sky. :D


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