'Wolf visits the doctor ...
 

it's not that I don't like doctors ... after all, I spend most of my life around time. I work in a hospital, but of course, not in the kind of hospital where people are actually SICK or anything. (we occasionally have patients with medical issues, but that's usually confined to things like being really, REALLY drunk (like over .300) or just getting over an overdose or something like that.

So, anyway ...

See, I don't get sick. I can count on one hand the number of sick days I've taken in the last 10 years. (one of those was for breaking my hand, another for a recent bout of the stomach flu). This is common for folks in my dept. We play hurt all the time. Plague again? Get a psychiatrist to write you a script for Zithromax and get the hell back to work ...

Well, I got this pain. Upper right abdomen. Shoots up into the right shoulder blade. Upset stomach on top of it all ... Started reviewing basic anatomay ... nah ... appendix is on the LOWER right isn't it? so it can't be that ... Hmmm. Upper right quad, pain to the shoulder blade, thunderous belching ... damn. I know what this is going to turn out to be.

Mebbe it will go away. That's it. It will go away, right?

No such luck.

The pain actually started on 1/29/03. I gave up hope of a mild case of food poisoning from a bad balogna sandwich on 2/1. Made an appointment with my doctor.

I love my doctor. He's a great guy. I've had the same doc since I was 12 years old.

He bounces in to see me ... asks "Hey sunshine, how are you doing?"

What other response could there be ... "I'm miserable Barry. I'm here to see you. You know I have to think I'm about to die. Other than that, I'm doin' okay."

The doc concurs with my diagnosis (which is gall stones, incidentally) and schedules me for an ultrasound. Had that done last wednesday (one week since onset).

Nice tech showed me the monitor while he was doing the test ... he got to the part where he was explaining "and here's your gall bladder ..." when he went "Wow."

I do not like it when radiology techs of any kind go "wow." remember, when my hand fracture was revealed, I had a tech go "Eeeeeuuuuuw."

The "wow" in this instance relates to the fact that I appear to have ONE damn gallstone. It is of impressive size ... 4 cm. I don't know if this is "gets written up in a journal" level of impressiveness, but I sure as hell think it must be ...

So you must be wondering at this point ... what's the next step?

I'm wondering that too ... you see, the test was done last Wednesday (2/5). Thursday is my doc's day off. Friday his sissy-butt practice decided to close because of the snow.

All I can say is that they damn well better break out the sled dogs and make it into work tomorrow, snow or no goddamn snow!!!!!

(I'm running short on motrin.)

Hey! You're not alone!

My sister (jeni here on the Cellar) just had her gall bladder removed two weeks ago (okay, it was a little more - the same day that I was sick as a dog, if you remember that). She also had this awful awful pain in her back and whatnot.

If I were a betting man, I'd guess that's what they're gonna do for you, 'cause that sounds like a stone that's WAY too big to pass. Jen couldn't work for two weeks. Maybe you'll get some PS2 time :)

I'll point her at this thread so she can toss in her own two cents.

Well, I'm KEEPING _my_ gall bladder, damn it. They can't have it! I don't care if all the cool kids are having theirs tinkered with!

My Mom had hers out a couple years ago. Being an RN she knew pretty much what was going on and still almost delayed too long. She claims she was making sure the right surgeon was back in town. Anyway, don't delay it. Isn't there a non-invasive therapy involving ultra sound to break up stones?

While I'm certainly HOPING for lithotripsy (which is the cool name they give for busting the big stone into little pieces) I'm not putting all my hopes in that particular basket. My suspicion is that I'll end up with both lithotripsy to break up the stone as well as surgery. Hopefully i will know that before too much damn more time passes!! (Owie).

My brother had one of those kidney stones when he was 12. They did that ultrasound therapy and broke up the stone. It turned out he got the stone because he ate too many Tums.

The Update
 

My Doctor called me at work last night. He called me from home. (he's definitely rare for a doc. Totally good guy)

Anyway ... I still don't know what the actual treatment plan is going to be, but I have my suspicions. I'm being referred to the "King of Laparascopic Surgery." I'll see him next week. I do understand that you often get a cool video of your surgery as a bonus. My boss has already told me I have to make sure I ask for it. I understand that most people watch their surgery videos more often than their wedding videos.

I think it's very nice of doctors to give you a videotape that they may see later in court during a malpractice suit. No clue who came up with THAT idea.

In the meantime the acute attack seems to have died down for the most part ... I'm not eating normally by any means, but I ventured forth beyond the confines of the dry chicken sandwich and survived tonight. I may even be brave enough to attempt something like Cheetos tomorrow. (this is a bigger struggle than you might imagine. It's not the snack food aspect of the Cheetos that I yearn for ... I'm cool with eating a pretzel or a carrot if I'm looking for CRUNCH-factor, but Cheetos are my big-time ever since childhood comfort food. I'm not feeling good. I'm NOT puking, so I need cheetos!)

Wolf, just curious, why would a gallstone hurt sometimes and not all the time? Are they like 'floaters' in your eye, which move around when agitated? If so, would standing on your head help when in the throes of an attack?

The little bastids move around ... you get pain when one manages to lodge itself into the duct through which the bile passes into the stomach. Bile is the happy body fluid that helps you digest fat.

Soooo ... every time your stomach identifies fat, it notifies the gall bladder, which gets the bile from the liver. The whole system grinds to a halt when there's a stone in the way ... Bile has no place to go, backs up ... and OUCH.

The symptoms are similar to those of a heart attack.

After a short while you figure out that you aren't going to die.

But you WANT to.

This is how I have spent most of the last two weeks.

If I knew that gravity would be my friend in this situation, yes, I would have been more than willing to stand on my head for extended periods of time.

I did attempt several different arrangements of pillows in an attempt to have my ass higher than my head for sleeping. Didn't help.

My wife had a kidney stone removed a couple of years ago. It was done laproscopically, and with the exception of the discomfort associated with the post-surgical stent, she claimed it really wasn't all that bad. Certainly better than the pain from the stone itself.

Laproscopy = better, incisional surgery = worse.

Keep us posted on this. I hope you get the most gentle handling modern medicine can provide.

Update 2/25/03
 

I had my appt with the surgeon today. He was a really cool guy (for a man I'm going to pay to cut me open).

In any event, as expected, surgery is the recommended treatment plan. Luckily I'm a candidate for laparoscopy instead of the traditional procedure. (four tiny incisions, overnight in the hosp. vs. great big incision week in the hospital.)

I'm scheduled for surgery on March 12.

I'm as anxious as hell, but they give you a lot of medication up front to "relax" you ... :zzz:

I think that's what Jen had. They went in through her belly button! How weird!

But she's okay and back to work and all that. Weee!

I've had a couple of major surgeries (including a bypass...eek!), and I can assure you that, by the time you've allowed the presurgical meds to soak in, you won't give a damn if they subsequently tell you they are going to perform a craniecotmy.

Hospitals...they keep all the really good drugs to themselves, and then charge you an arm and a leg (sometimes literally) to use them. How do they differ from street pushers?

Oh, yeah...I just remembered the difference! Insurance won't pay for street drugs!

I had my appendix out once :D