hell in a handbasket, I know.....
 

There was a nice man from the North Pole
Who stopped by a popular brothel
He cried “Ho Ho Ho”
“For here or to go?
And do you want front hole or back hole?”

No, I am Santa, I find this so shocking
I just stopped by to fill up your stockings
“It’s extra for that
And more ‘cause you’re fat
Now lie back and let’s get that sleigh rocking”

Awesomeness.

Merry Christmas, Monster.